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Human Communication The Basic Course 14th edition

Chapter 9 Friends, Lovers, and Families

Learning Objectives

9.1 Define friendship and identify its major types.

9.2 Define love and explain its six major types.

9.3 Explain the three types of couples and the three types of families and their respective communication patterns.

Friendships 1 of 6

L.O. 9.1 Define friendship and identify its six major types.

Friendships

An interpersonal relationship

Mutually productive

Characterized by mutual positive regard

Friendships 2 of 6

Friendship Types

Friendship of reciprocity

Ideal type, based on equality

Friendship of receptivity

One person is the primary giver, the other the primary receiver

Friendship of association

Transitory relationship, not quite a true friendship

Friendships 3 of 6

Friends With Benefits

Engaging in sexual relationships without any romantic involvement

Open, sincere, and direct communication are key factors in ensuring that the relationship has more advantages than disadvantages.

Friendships 4 of 6

Friends With Benefits continued

Needs friendships serve

Utility

Affirmation

Ego support

Stimulation

Security

Friendship Choices

On what basis do you choose to call someone friend? On what basis do you choose to extend your friendship to another? In what ways do the reasons for these choices differ in face-to-face interactions versus social networking interactions?

CBS Photo Archive/Contributor Getty Images

Friendships 5 of 6

Friendship and Communication

Initial Contact and Acquaintanceship

Casual Friendship

Dyadic consciousness: a clear sense of togetherness

Close and Intimate Friendship

Friendships 6 of 6

Friendships, Culture, Gender, and Technology

Culture and Friendships

Friendships are closer in collectivist cultures.

Gender and Friendships

Women self-disclose more than men.

Technology and Friendships

Network convergence: as a relationship develops, both parties share their network of other communicators with each other

Romantic Relationships 1 of 3

L.O. 9.2 Define love and explain its six major types.

Love Types

Eros: beauty and sexuality

Ludus: entertainment and excitement

Storge: peaceful and slow

Pragma: practical and traditional

Mania: elation and depression

Agape: compassionate and selfless

Romantic Relationships 2 of 3

Love and Communication

Personalized communication: messages that have meaning only within your relationship

Significant self-disclosure

Communicating love verbally and nonverbally

Awareness of physical self

Elimination of social taboo adaptors

Frequent and intimate touch

Romantic Relationships 3 of 3

Love, Culture, Gender, and Technology

Culture and Love

Romanticism is higher in cultures where you have more choice.

Gender and Love

Men score higher on erotic and ludic love, while women score higher on manic, pragmatic, and storgic love.

Technology and Love

The Internet is growing in importance in the development, maintenance, and even deterioration of romantic relationships.

Romantic Love

When college students were asked to identify the features that characterize romantic love, the five elements most frequently noted were trust, sexual attraction, acceptance and tolerance, spending time together, and sharing thoughts and secrets (Regan, Kocan, & Whitlock, 1998). How would you characterize love? Do you find that men and women view love similarly? Differently?

Petinov Sergey Mihilovich/Shutterstock

Families 1 of 5

L.O. 9.3 Explain the three types of couples and the three types of families and their respective communication patterns.

Couple and Family Types

Traditionals: share a basic belief system and philosophy of life

Independents: stress their individuality

Separates: live together, but as a matter of convenience

Families 2 of 5

Couple and Family Types continued

Conformity-orientation: the degree to which family members express similar attitudes, values, and beliefs

Conversation-orientation: the degree to which family members can speak their mind

Four types of families:

Consensual

Protective

Pluralistic

Laissez-faire

Family Combinations

In addition to these three pure types, there also are combinations (Fitzpatrick, 1991). For example, in the separate–traditional couple one individual is a separate and one a traditional. Another common pattern is the traditional–independent, in which one individual believes in the traditional view of relationships and one in autonomy and independence. How would you describe a previous, current, or hoped-for relationship in terms of traditional, independent, separate?

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Families 3 of 5

Family Characteristics

Defined Roles

Recognition of Responsibilities

Shared History and Future

Shared Living Space

The Family

If you looked at the family from an evolutionary–Darwinian point of view, one research watcher notes, you’d have to conclude that families are “inherently unstable” and that it’s necessity, not choice, that keeps them together. If they had better opportunities elsewhere, many family members would leave immediately (Goleman, 1995b). What do you see as the greatest advantages of family? What do you see as the greatest disadvantages?

Kablonk/SuperStock

Families 4 of 5

Families and Communication

There are four general communication patterns for families:

Equality

Balanced split

Unbalanced split

Monopoly

Families 5 of 5

Families, Culture, Gender, and Technology

Culture, Gender, and Families

Culture influences the kind of love people want.

Technology and Families

Technology has changed the way families communicate.