"The Writer Only"

THis is the feed back from my teacher

Thanks for your draft. It's definitely a work-in-progress, though, as I see lots of proofreading issues here. Here are some thoughts when you revise:

-Remember to title your essay.

-Be careful with preposition use. The use of "in which" in your second sentence isn't quite what you mean.

-Be sure to spell-check both automatically and by eye. An automatic spell-check, for instance, won't pick up an error like "verses" for "versus" as you have in the intro or "bread" for "breed" in the 2nd paragraph. Automatic spell-check should pick up words like "descries," though.

-Be careful of repetition, like "options on choices" as you have in the intro.

-Look out for apostrophe use, like "Western Mother's" when you mean "Western mothers."

-Read aloud for awkward wording, like "allowing your keeps freedom and engaging thing that they may like and are good at is the best up bring for a child." I'm not sure what you mean here. This sentence is also a run-on. I think you mean it to be your thesis, so you want this to be very direct and clear.

-Be careful of arbitrary capitalization. Only capitalize proper nouns. For instance, see the bottom of the first page: "Now Looking" shouldn't have looking capitalized.

-Because of the numerous typos, misspellings, and proofreading issues here, I can't point them all out indiividually. They occur in nearly every sentence. As such, I'd like you to go through, sentence-by-sentence, and look for the kinds of issues I mentioned above. I think you're making a good argument here, but it's difficult to discern based on the wording of the essay.