Teenage Depression

profiletlcarr0129

Two big issues: 1) What is your thesis? This isn't clear. You are writing on causes and effects of teenage depression - but to what end? For what purpose? You say that the there are multiple causes and effects . . . but I could have guess as much before I ever read this. What am I supposed to make of this - that teenage depression is unavoidable? That is avoidable? That its the parents fault? That it can be treated? And so forth - what do you want me to take away from this?

2) Your sentence structure is in need of a close proofread. I do not think you looked closely at this before you sent it to me.  . there are several places where I simply am not sure what you are saying. So please go over this carefully and ensure complete sentences!

  • 14 years ago
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