rewrite an Essay

the paragraph that I wrote in red don't change anything in it. just read it and be sure it's not off the topic 

the thesis statement That I highlight in yellow. please rewrite it in the same way and be sure that what the essay about.

And I want u to write the same way I wrote sentence in a beginning in body A , but in body B  so I can know where is point B (anf highlight it please)

and write transition language between point A and B 

and the paragraphs in Black just change some vocabularies or even sentence in order to make it more easy to understand

please read carefully?