Please help me with my Revision

 Here's my attached Draft , Please fix it by rewriting the introduction following my thesis , PLEASE DO NOT DELETE MY THESIS and follow the 3 CERTERIA  for the Body and the conclusion.  

Please change the old sources by adding new scholarly sources .  And you need to talk about the criteria and support it by a source , when you add the source , please make sure you explain it by your own words. SCHOLARLY SOURCES SHOULD BE 6 , 6 SOURCES ONLY, DO NOT PARAPHRASE , just add the author words with quotation marks.  

Finally , Please follow the attached file " grade rubric guide "  in order to follow the instructions , they will explain everything. 

Final Word , Please don't let me down , for your information ,  this paper has a big grade 60 % of the final grade.