critical thinking responses for 1 discussion question and 2 peer reviews

Discussion Question:

Try It #6 is designed to give you practice in writing the typical police news story. Please make sure you have reviewed pages 51-52 and Chapter 7 in the Handbook of Independent Journalism and Chapter 37 in The News Manual. Then refresh your memory of news story basics before you begin this exercise:

Police Story Practice Exercise2

n.b. You must use the scenarios provided in this Try It. Do not try to complete this exercise using a story you have selected from the news. 

Using the scenario, write a news story for print publication using inverted-pyramid style. Begin your story with a summary news lead of no more than 20 words and one sentence. Use an active voice, past tense verb.

Your story should follow all of the rules you’ve learned so far about organizing a news story in inverted pyramid style. You should stack your news from most important general information to the least important specific information. Make sure your paragraphs are no more than  one or two short sentences each. Use transitions to advance the story. Follow all the relevant rules in the Course AP Stylebook.

Stick to the essentials. A story of 200-250 words may not be enough; one double that may be too much. Use theChecklist for News Story Exercises to help you polish your story. Attach your completed worksheet to your Try It post.

Once you have drafted your story, think about how you would want to present it as an online news story. How would it need to be changed? What kinds of links would you use? Tell us what you would do differently or would add to the story and why! Look at Packaging News Online material and experiment with hyperlinking!

Post your Try It as a reply to this post by 11:59:59 a.m. ET Sunday.

Then, please thoughtfully critique at least two of your classmates' Try Its as soon as possible, so that everyone can benefit. Again, don't worry about not being qualified to review someone else's work. You're all learning so share your new knowledge with your classmates. Help them do better and allow them to help you by saying what you like about your classmates work first, then offer constructive suggestions for improvements.

Your advice should be friendly, encouraging, specific and useful even as you’re pointing out areas that can use some further work. You must give at least one substantive suggestion on how to improve each story you critique.

Peer Review 1:

Yvonne Adams

June 23, 2016

House Fire

A fire in Cedar Glen, killed one adult injured another Tuesday and two children hospitalized from smoke inhalation. 

 A father died after suffering severe burns and the 36 year old mother is in critical condition after suffering burns over 70 percent of her body. Two children ages 6 to 8 suffered smoke inhalation and are expected to survive, according to firefighters on the scene.

The fire was in a row house at 245 Elm Street, where someone apparently fell asleep smoking a cigarette and ignited the bed sheets, according to Deputy Fire Marshall Larry Johnson. A neighbor who was up late watching television smelled smoke and dialed 911 after looking out his window and seeing flames.

The 911 call came in at 2:45 a.m. and firefighters were on the scene at 2:50 a.m. The fire was centered in the second floor and it took firefighters about 30 minutes to extinguish the flames, according to Johnson.

Two children were pulled from the upstairs bedroom, but two adults in the home were hard to find due to location.

The four people pulled from the fire were all rushed to St. Mary’s Hospital.

No one else was hurt in the fire. Johnson stated the house where the fire started had extensive damages and the adjoining houses had minor damages .

Names are not being released pending notification of kin.

                                                                                        ###

For this story, I would include video footage of the fire and interview neighbors if possible regarding the family. A hyperlink to fires which occurred in the last few months with the same consequences. Perhaps, suggestions from the fire department on prevention tips to prevent fires like this from occurring.  

Thanks

Yvonne

Peer Review 2:

A woman and a men was arrested at a Hempfield hotel following drug bust on Monday afternoon. Narcotics officers found cocaine with a street value of $5,600, along with other drugs in a motel room at the Super 8 on 111 Sheraton street, authorities say. 

Chester Cornell White Jr., 35, and Amber Qushawn Hall, 27, were both arrested. According to police, White is being charged with two felony counts of possession with intent to deliver drugs and single counts of possession of a controlled substance and conspiracy. Hall is being charged with three felony counts of possession with intent to deliver, and two counts of possession of a controlled substance. 

Police also found $1000 worth heroin. Experts District Judge Charles Conway arraigned the pair to get sent to Westmoreland County Prison. Halls bond was set at $50,000 and Whites bond was set at $75,000.