Business writing

Exercise : Sentence Fragments Exercise 1

The sentences below appeared in papers written by students. Act as their editor, marking a C if the sentences in the group are all complete and an F if any of the sentences in the group is a fragment. Could you tell these writers why the fragments are incomplete sentences?

____ 1. Then I attended Morris Junior High. A junior high that was a bad experience.

____ 2. The scene was filled with beauty. Such as the sun sending its brilliant rays to the earth and the leaves of various shades of red, yellow, and brown moving slowly in the wind.

____ 3. He talked for fifty minutes without taking his eyes off his notes. Like other teachers in that department, he did not encourage students' questions.

____ 4. Within each group, a wide range of features to choose from. It was difficult to distinguish between them.

____ 5. A few of the less serious fellows would go into a bar for a steak dinner and a few glasses of beer. After this meal, they were ready for anything.

____ 6. It can be really embarrassing to be so emotional. Especially when you are on your first date, you feel that you should be in control.

____ 7. The magazine has a reputation for a sophisticated, prestigious, and elite group of readers. Although that is a value judgment and in circumstances not a true premise.

____ 8. In the seventh grade every young boy goes out for football. To prove to himself and his parents that he is a man.

____ 9. She opened the door and let us into her home. Not realizing at the time that we would never enter that door in her home again.

____10. As Christmas grows near, I find myself looking back into my childhood days at fun-filled times of snowball fights. To think about this makes me happy.

____11. Making up his mind quickly. Jim ordered two dozen red roses for his wife. Hoping she would accept his apology.

____12. They were all having a good time. Until one of Joe's oldest and best friends had a little too much to drink.

____13. Although it only attained a speed of about twelve miles an hour. My old rowboat with its three-horsepower motor seemed like a high-speed job to me.

____14. With my brother standing by my side, I reached for the pot handle. Tilting the pot way too much caused the boiling water to spill.

____15. The small, one-story houses are all the same size and style. With no difference except the color.

____16. Being a friend of mine like he was when we first joined the soccer team. Together we learned a lot.

Exercise : Sentence Fragments Exercise 2

These paragraphs need proofreading for possible fragments. Use the space below each paragraph for revising.

1. How can a person find patriotism in a local night club? Well, it did not take me too long. About four weeks ago in a little night club in Louisville, Kentucky, a couple of my friends, Rick and Lon, the duo who were providing the entertainment that night for the club.

2. For the past twenty years, the Survey Research Center at the University of Michigan has been measuring the level of Americans' trust and confidence in their politicians and quasi-political trust and confidence in their political institutions and their leaders. "Political" being all levels of government, and "quasi-political" churches, labor unions, large professional/business associations, educational institutions, and the like. The result is that a very sharp decline has taken place every year since 1964.

3. For 200 years Americans believed in better jobs, better homes, a better life for one's children. This confidence no longer exists. Polls now indicate that fewer Americans feel they are better off today than they were five years ago. A public-opinion analysis group has found that large numbers of Americans, at some times and in some places, see themselves as lower on the ladder. Adding worse living conditions and anticipation of further decline over the next five years.

4. Well, in looking at the picture at the left you see an old lady. She has a very funny look on her face. As if she's lonely and just wants to be left alone. She also looks as if she has seen a lot and experienced lots of things.

5. A president is an appointed leader. Someone who is a decision maker in the executive branch of our government. This doesn't necessarily mean that the person the people elect is capable. Just hopefully assumes. Assumes through his past record as a politician, over the years' buildup of experience and handling situations.

Exercise : Sentence Fragments Exercise 3

The following paragraph has no capital letters or periods to mark the beginnings and ends of sentences. Add capitals, periods, commas, and/or other punctuation that may be needed to make the word groups into complete sentences. Your goal is to be sure that there are no fragments.

...

my brother was always my best friend when I was a child especially as we two were almost alone in the world we lived with our old grandmother in a little house, almost a shack, in the country whenever I think of him now I see a solemn, responsible boy a boy too old for his years who looked out for me no matter what once there was a bully John Anson who looked enormous to me though he was probably an average twelve-year-old John had it in for me because he liked Littice Grant who liked me he decided to beat me up right before her eyes I was lucky my brother came by he didn't interfere any he just stood there somehow though his presence gave me confidence I licked the stuffing out of John Anson if my brother hadn't been there I don't think I could have done it.

**

Exercise : Run-ons, Comma Splices, and Fused Sentences

Run-ons, comma splices, and fused sentences are all names given to compound sentences that are not punctuated correctly. The best way to avoid such errors is to punctuate compound sentences correctly by using one or the other of these rules.

Join the two independent clauses with one of the coordinating conjunctions (and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet), and use a comma before the connecting word.

_________________________, and _________________________.

1. He enjoys walking through the country. He often goes backpacking on his vacations.

When you do not have a connecting word (or when you use a connecting word other than and, but, for, or nor, so, or yet between the two independent clauses) use a semicolon (;).

__________________________;_____________________________.

2. He often watched TV when there were only reruns. She preferred to read instead.

or

__________________________; however,____________________.

So, run-ons and fused sentences are terms describing two independent clauses that are joined together with no connecting word or punctuation to separate the clauses. The following sentences are both examples that are missing the connecting words and/or the appropriate punctuation.

3. They weren't dangerous criminals they were detectives in disguise.

4. I didn't know which job I wanted I was too confused to decide.

Exercise : Eliminating Wordiness Exercise 1

Revise these sentences to state their meaning in fewer words. Avoid passive voice, needless repetition, and wordy phrases and clauses. The first sentence has been done as an example.

1. Many local farmers plan to attend next Friday's meeting.

2. Although Bradley Hall is regularly populated by students, close study of the building as a structure is seldom undertaken by them.

3. He dropped out of school on account of the fact that it was necessary for him to help support his family.

4. It is expected that the new schedule will be announced by the bus company within the next few days.

5. There are many ways in which a student who is interested in meeting foreign students may come to know one.

6. It is very unusual to find someone who has never told a deliberate lie on purpose.

7. Trouble is caused when people disobey rules that have been established for the safety of all.

8. A campus rally was attended by more than a thousand students. Five students were arrested by campus police for disorderly conduct, while several others are charged by campus administrators with organizing a public meeting without being issued a permit to do so.

9. The subjects that are considered most important by students are those that have been shown to be useful to them after graduation.

10. In the not too distant future, college freshmen must all become aware of the fact that there is a need for them to make contact with an academic adviser concerning the matter of a major.

11. In our company there are wide-open opportunities for professional growth with a company that enjoys an enviable record for stability in the dynamic atmosphere of aerospace technology.

12. Some people believe in capital punishment, while other people are against it; there are many opinions on this subject.

Exercise : Eliminating Wordiness Exercise 2

Directions: Combine each sentence group into one concise sentence.

1. The cliff dropped to reefs seventy-five feet below. The reefs below the steep cliff were barely visible through the fog.

2. Their car is gassed up. It is ready for the long drive. The drive will take all night.

3. Sometimes Stan went running with Blanche. She was a good athlete. She was on the track team at school.

4. Taylor brought some candy back from Europe. It wasn't shaped like American candy. The candy tasted kind of strange to him.

5. Government leaders like to mention the creation of new jobs. They claim that these new jobs indicate a strong economy. They don't mention that low-wage jobs without benefits and security have replaced many good jobs.

Exercise : Eliminating Wordiness Exercise 3

Revise the following passage, avoiding wordiness and undesirable repetition.

A large number of people enjoy reading murder mysteries regularly. As a rule, these people are not themselves murderers, nor would these people really ever enjoy seeing someone commit an actual murder, nor would most of them actually enjoy trying to solve an actual murder. They probably enjoy reading murder mysteries because of this reason: they have found a way to escape from the monotonous, boring routine of dull everyday existence.

To such people the murder mystery is realistic fantasy. It is realistic because the people in the murder mystery are as a general rule believable as people. They are not just made up pasteboard figures. It is also realistic because the character who is the hero, the character who solves the murder mystery, solves it not usually by trial and error and haphazard methods but by exercising a high degree of logic and reason. It is absolutely and totally essential that people who enjoy murder mysteries have an admiration for the human faculty of logic.

But murder mysteries are also fantasies. The people who read such books of fiction play a game. It is a game in which they suspend certain human emotions. One of these human emotions that they suspend is pity. If the reader stops to feel pity and sympathy for each and every victim that is killed or if the reader stops to feel terrible horror that such a thing could happen in our world of today, that person will never enjoy reading murder mysteries. The devoted reader of murder mysteries keeps uppermost in mind at all times the goal of arriving through logic and observation at the final solution to the mystery offered in the book. It is a game with life and death. Whodunits hopefully help the reader to hide from the hideous horrors of actual life and death in the real world.