Essays Editing for portfolio!

Analyzing Text I chose to analyze a journal from The New York Times Newspaper and to be more specific it took a place on the opinion page. The journal was published on December 5th, 2012 by Sheelah A. Feinberg. The Article show the writer opinion about smoking and how its effect the person health by a negative way. Basically, the structure of the text is simple yet organized. It is simply made up of three paragraphs. Each paragraph is just about four or more sentences. The tone is very formal and informative. The text talks about a lot of details and opinions as well. For example, the first paragraph starts with the highlight of the issue followed by sentences that would explain the reason for victory in the first sentence. Finally, the paragraph ended with a statement that sounded as a matter of fact.  The text explicitly displays feelings of being for the issue which is to make Cigarettes or tobacco companies to release the true statements about their products. The article explicitly explains as well the dangers of tobacco to the human body that these companies have been somehow lying about and try to run away from the truth which well show their dark side. These are very strong statements that show how much the text is for the issue. One of the statements in the text can be cited as an example, “We think that it is shameful that Big Tobacco has been concealing the dangers of smoking for decades.” The text also tries to convince readers by positively reinforcing the good news that the text is pertaining to. The text is commending the judge in this news who has approved the “ordering tobacco companies to publish corrective statements that say they lied to us about the dangers of smoking and that clearly state the deadly health effects of smoking.” In this particular statement, we see how the text aims to convince the readers that smoking is really not good for the health since the government is already passing laws that will prevent people from falling into sickness and the slow death because of smoking. It is also very convincing how the text made use of heavy words. Such heavy words are very catchy and convincing to readers. By using “indisputable truth,” readers would easily get the impression that the text is talking about something that they should trust and believe in. Also by using the word “kill” in the statement, “smoking kills more people than AIDS” this text makes it more convincing for the readers and put them in a situation were they have to think more than once before they start smoking the tobacco because of its dangers on their own health. This text also tries to convince readers through the use of direct quotations from reputable news statements. The more reliable resources included in the text, the more convincing it is. In addition to this, the use of statistical data is also very helpful. In the text it was mentioned that “smoking kills, on average, 1,200 Americans a day.” This is a very helpful statement that would support the stand of the text and convince the reader about the harms of cigarettes. Most of all, the text mainly appeals to the detrimental effects of smoking on the body. People can be very wary in terms of their health so appealing through this would be very effective as well. Away from the text it self, We can see that the page is very organized and give the reader the choice to move from article to another smoothly by putting a direct link to other articles and pages. Furthermore, the article has many different colors to take the reader attention from the first time. Also we can see that there are variable of advertisement on the page and that can tell us that The New York Times is a very popular newspaper. Moreover, from just looking to the page we can find that this newspaper has numbers of pages on different social networks websites for example: Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and more which show us how this newspaper made it self available for its reader in anyplace at anytime. All in all, the text was made up of various factors and elements that make it very effective in convincing readers about its stand against smoking. Aside from simply pointing out its stand against smoking, the text also elaborates on the importance that tobacco companies have been lying to the people which could also add emotional appeal that would further drive the readers to realizing that the text has a point and it is able to prove it. By stating the facts in short and direct sentences, the text was able to catch and sustain the readers’ attention. Last but not least, the text was able to achieve its goal efficiently and effectively. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Professor Feedback: Very good draft. You’ve done the work at looking at this article from many different angles, and in that, you’ve got all the material necessary to build an even better analysis. I wonder about the context of the article itself, in that this piece was on the opinion page. Seems to me we could talk about the purposes of the opinion page a bit more, helping a reader to see how that opinion affects the original reader's perspective. The topic of tobacco use, then, is somehow overshadowed by the fact that it's an opinion piece -- I'd simply parse this out a bit more if you can. In all cases, you’ve done well, and I look forward to the next draft.