Christian Worldview
WVC 401
Kingdom Life
Belhaven University
Unit 4
Biblical Foundations II
Shepherding Children and Teens
War of Words
The Sin of Adam
Effective and Redemptive Speech
Biblical Foundations II
Overview of Key Scriptural Passages Biblical significance of being made in the image of God
Genesis 1:27-28: “27 So God created human beings in his
own image. In the image of God he created them; male
and female he created them. 28 Then God blessed them
and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern
it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and
all the animals that scurry along the ground.” (NLT)
Singleness, Marriage, Role of Sex in Marriage,
and Abandonment
1 Corinthians 7:1-5: “1 Now regarding the questions you asked in
your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. 2 But
because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have
his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. 3 The
husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill
her husband's needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her
husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 5
Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to
refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give
yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come
together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of
your lack of self-control."
Biblical Foundations II, cont.
Singleness, Marriage, Role of Sex in Marriage,
and Abandonment
1 Corinthians 7:7-11: “7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am.
Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. 8
So I say to those who aren't married and to widows-- it's better to stay
unmarried, just as I am. 9 But if they can't control themselves, they
should go ahead and marry. It's better to marry than to burn with lust. 10 But for those who are married, I have a command that comes not
from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. 11 But
if she does leave him, let her remain single or else be reconciled to
him. And the husband must not leave his wife.”
Biblical Foundations II, cont.
Singleness, Marriage, Role of Sex in Marriage, and Abandonment
1 Corinthians 7:12-15: “12 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a Christian man has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. 13 And if a Christian woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. 14 For the Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not be holy, but now they are holy. 15 (But if the husband or wife who isn't a believer insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.)”
Biblical Foundations II, cont.
Singleness, Marriage, Role of Sex in Marriage,
and Abandonment
1 Corinthians 7:16-17; 26-28: “16 Don't you wives realize that your
husbands might be saved because of you? And don't you husbands
realize that your wives might be saved because of you? 17 Each of you
should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you,
and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all
the churches.” //// “26 Because of the present crisis, I think it is best to
remain as you are. 27 If you have a wife, do not seek to end the
marriage. If you do not have a wife, do not seek to get married. 28 But if
you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it
is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have
troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems.”
Biblical Foundations II, cont.
Singleness, Marriage, Role of Sex in Marriage,
and Abandonment
1 Corinthians 7:32-35: “32 I want you to be free from the concerns of
this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work
and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think
about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His
interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer
married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and
holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her
earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying
this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do
whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as
possible.”
Biblical Foundations II, cont.
Singleness, Marriage, Role of Sex in Marriage,
and Abandonment
1 Corinthians 7:36-40: “36 But if a man thinks that he's treating his
fiancée improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, let him
marry her as he wishes. It is not a sin. 37 But if he has decided firmly
not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion,
he does well not to marry. 38 So the person who marries his fiancée
does well, and the person who doesn't marry does even better. 39 A
wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies,
she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord. 40
But in my opinion it would be better for her to stay single, and I think I
am giving you counsel from God's Spirit when I say this.”
Biblical Foundations II, cont.
Personhood
Exodus 21:22-35: “22 Now suppose two men are fighting,
and in the process they accidentally strike a pregnant
woman so she gives birth prematurely. If no further injury
results, the man who struck the woman must pay the
amount of compensation the woman's husband demands
and the judges approve. 23 But if there is further injury, the
punishment must match the injury: a life for a life, 24 an eye
for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a hand for a hand, a foot for
a foot, 25 a burn for a burn, a wound for a wound, a bruise
for a bruise.” (NLT)
Biblical Foundations II, cont.
Divorce & Remarriage
Matthew 5:31-32: “31 You have heard the law that says,
'A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written
notice of divorce.’ 32 But I say that a man who divorces his
wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit
adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also
commits adultery.” (NLT)
Biblical Foundations II, cont.
Lev. 18:21 - "Do not permit any of your children
to be offered as a sacrifice to Molech, for you
must not bring shame on the name of your God.
I am the LORD.” (NLT)
We don’t worship Molech/Molek but we still sacrifice
our children to our idols.
idol of comfort idol of respect
idol of appreciation idol of success
idol of control idol of entitlement
idol of pride addictions
Shepherding Children and Teens
We have been talking about heart issues giving birth to
reactions and actions.
Children: Heart Issues Too
Proverbs 4:23 - “Guard your heart above all else, for it
determines the course of your life.” (NLT)
Mark 7:21-22 – “For from within, out of a person's heart,
come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder,
adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires,
envy, slander, pride, and foolishness.” (NLT)
Principle #1: We should not be focused on behavior change but
deal with the heart issues that gives birth to their actions.
Shepherding Children and Teens, cont.
Rule-keeping is not God-pleasing in and of itself; rather
God desires a heart change that leads to transformed
life – God sees the heart. (1 Sam. 6:7)
Child One Child Two “How come she gets the bear?!”
“You only love ….”
“It’s not fair!”
Parents: “Who had it first?”
Principle #2: What is ruling the heart of that child? Self-
love
Perception: that toy bear will make me happy!
Toy fails to deliver permanent happiness, only momentary
pleasure
Shepherding Children and Teens, cont.
There is no difference between a heart of a child and an adult, only
substitutes
Toy Bear Money, Sex, Power, and Beauty
Lured by the promise of happiness and fulfillment
Whatever rules the heart of a child gives birth to action. Opportunity
to shepherd the heart of a child in the wisdom of God. What pleases
the Lord?
Principle #3: Shaping Influences of a Child
Life circumstances – non-acceptance, racism, bullied, talked-down
to, criticized, called stupid, etc., – low self-esteem and perhaps
resenting society
• So important to have a strong encouraging family who can help
them navigate life according to God’s wisdom
Shepherding Children and Teens, cont.
Nurture godly perspective – life circumstances do not
define the child
They are made in the image of God – “fearfully and wonderfully
made.”
God has a good plan for them.
Disadvantages do not define them: Esther
She was a minority & foreigner in the Persian Empire.
She was an orphan girl raised by Mordecai.
Descended from Jews who were scattered (diaspora)
Her people practiced customs that were strange to the Persians.
God's name is not mentioned in the book of Esther but God is
working!
Shepherding Children and Teens, cont.
Forms of Weakness: Bitter, Cynical, Resentful, and Angry
The well-known story of Joseph: Mother dies when he was young Falsely accused at work
Thrown into a pit/human trafficked Imprisoned
Dreams inflamed sibling jealousy Betrayed by his brothers
Compounding issues: Father’s Gift
Every reason to feel bitter, cynical ….
Genesis 50:20: His power was the Lord.
You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for
good. He brought me to this position so I could save the
lives of many people. (NLT)
Joseph’s response was from a living relationship with the
Lord.
Shepherding Children and Teens, cont.
Shepherding Children and Teens. cont.
Culture
Friends
Family Values and
Structure
Overly Sheltered
Church Experience(s)
Education
Response to Failure
Media
Finance and Moves
Not Allowing
Freedom/Decisions
Think Godly
Children like adults are always interpreting the circumstances
of their lives: competing perspectives (worldviews)
Children often imitate the spirituality of the parent(s): the startling story of Jephthah & his daughter!
Judges 11:30-40
Jephthah makes a vow to the Lord: If the Lord delivers the Ammonites into … whatever comes out of his house will be a burnt offering.
Daughter pleads: “Father, if you have made a vow to the LORD, you must do to me what you have vowed….” (NLT)
Jephthah syncretistic spirituality: God hates human sacrifices (Lev. 18:21). Jephthah does not know the Lord, daughter practices her father’s religion
Principle #4: Proverbs 22:6 - In order to properly train the child, parent(s) must know the Lord.
Shepherding Children and Teens, cont.
Shepherding Children and Teens, cont.
Every human being is religious – we worship. The
question is: who/what do we worship?
Shepherding Children and Teens, cont. Proverbs 22:15: Discipline – goal is to move them
towards God Corrective not vengeance (Prov. 15:5; 29:15; Heb. 12)
Positive instruction; Dependent on personality of the child (soft words – Prov. 15:1, help them understand)
Excessive discipline humiliates (Deut. 25:3)
idol of comfort (peace, quiet) Unruly, screaming, fighting, running Result
idol of respect discipline in frustration (vent)
idol of appreciation uncontrolled anger
idol of success self-pity
idol of control impose guilt & shame
transfer anger child resents
so much going on! fed up! hit you, isolate
idol of entitlement get the belt!
Imposing consequences should be constructive that moves them towards God.
Shepherding Children and Teens, cont.
Common Protests: “My father used to … I turned out just fine!”
Pop-psychology: incentives (bribery) & contracts with children
Secular parenting: reward good behavior & punish bad behavior (behavior modification)
Emotional manipulation:
1) Using fear: “I will leave you here ….”
2) Kinder: “You’re hurting me ….”
3) Shame: “How could you …”
4) Guilt
Misperception: I am a good parent as long as children are well-behaved.
Shepherding Children and Teens, cont.
Biblical goal:
Consequence A Consequence B
What does Scripture say
about certain motives?
Why is God so
concerned?
What does Scripture say
about potential
consequences of
continuing a dangerous
path?
• Goal: Not Bible-thumping
• Lovingly sharing God’s wisdom
• Age Appropriate
How they
understand
God
Communicate with your child: Listen – window to the child’s heart What are they craving? What do they think they will get if they
get it?
Patient instruction: Children need encouragement & inspiration
Wrong to think that one conversation will fix the issue – frustration will set in
Shepherding Children and Teens, cont.
Rules must be followed
Child breaks rules
Parent punishes
Parent loves me but so
hard to keep all these
rules
Scenario (an example): Talking to teens about
sex & drugs. Teens have drama & angst!
Teens:
Culture: sex is liberating, friends talk about sex in
school. Media: sex is fun, to be wanted is desirable.
Secular education: safe sex (use condoms); Family:
high walls (don’t talk about sex).
“Drugs are wrong, but I just want to try it once.
Nothing will happen.”
Shepherding Children and Teens, cont.
Shepherding Children and Teens, cont.
Biblical Instruction: God’s wisdom
Fool: lives by cravings (Prov. 21:26); fool has no self-control
(Prov. 25:28)
• Let’s talk about human passion – sex is good! Gift of God.
Sex is beautiful and enjoyable within the safety of
marriage. 16-year-old having sex often live with painful
regret and shame. Consequences: unwanted pregnancies,
disease, feelings of personal loss. First sexual activity
opens the door to more sexual activity.
• Drugs, first mild drug opens the door to experiment more.
You might enjoy it at first, then you keep running to it when
life gets stressful. First time desensitizes you to the
second. Potential consequences: addiction, academic
failure, disease, death, financial ruin, etc.
Faith is the greatest gift: Ephesians 6:4 Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it. (ESV)
Deut. 6:2; Eph. 6:4 – Parent’s responsibility
Child may explore and perhaps may make wrong choices as
they grow, but teaching them God’s wisdom is the greatest
gift parents can give.
Faith is God’s work: Praying for your children
• Faith will not allow the child (when grown) from living
comfortably in sin.
• Faith will always beckon the child back to the Lord even in
season of backsliding.
• True faith will bear fruit in due course.
Shepherding Children and Teens, cont.
Power of words: Proverbs 18:21
“The tongue can bring death or
life; those who love to talk will
reap the consequences.” (NLT)
There are consequences to what
we say.
Can make or break friendships
and/or careers.
Matthew 12:34 “You brood of
snakes! How could evil men like
you speak what is good and
right? For whatever is in your
heart determines what you say.”
(NLT)
Over-talking breaks
relationships.
Manipulative Speech
Not talking enough (withdrawal)
Yelling
Worldly approach to
communication: they concentrate
of communication techniques. It’s
ultimately humanistic.
Moments of anger reveal the
heart
Consequences: Regret and
Resentment
Proverbs 18:2 “Fools have no
interest in understanding; they
only want to air their own
opinions.” (NLT)
War of Words
Language is power! Language affects perception; it shapes a person’s reality.
Sin, righteousness, and salvation vs. randomness,
purposelessness, meaningless game
Karma vs. God (Round #1)!
Metaphors: I’m just a cog in a big machine or just a pebble
(powerlessness) vs. I’m a pebble in the universe
empowered by God.
Dangers of false language
Falsehood: (Prov. 24:28; 2 Cor. 4:2)-- spin stories to their
favor, misrepresent the facts
Stirs division (Prov. 16:28; 26:20)
Grumbling – reinforces negative thoughts
War of Words, cont.
Sin of Adam and the Effect of Speech
If we are not adopting God’s language, then we
are adopting some other language that shapes
our reality.
Serpent Speech: Changed Humanity’s
Perspective on God and World
"You won't die!" the serpent replied to the woman.
(Gen. 3:4 NLT)
Translation: This will not harm you!
Serpent tries to give humanity an alternative perspective
Satanic speech reshaped the way humanity
looked at God and his world.
Humanity will use speech to achieve its personal desires:
“to be like God.”
Humanity was not meant to run on self-love but God’s love.
Desire transforms into “demand.” Desires are not
necessarily bad some can be good. But when it rules over
us it can morph into abusive speech.
Sin of Adam and the Effect of Speech,
cont.
• Blame
• Accuse
• Lay on shame
• Guilt
• Rationalize behavior
• Plead
• Threaten to gain control
• Self-love rules humanity
• Others must conform to their will rather
than God’s will
• When they don’t conform; anger, sorrow,
depression, conflict, divorce, abuse
Satanic Speech: Manipulative Adam’s Sinful Speech: Blames
God and Eve
Consequences of Being Born with
Sinful Nature
Satanic words sow doubt
concerning the love of God.
Confuses & leads humanity away
from God’s purposes
Offers power, pleasure, and
satisfied desires but ultimately
leads to pain, suffering, & death.
Satan knows that living in the truth
of God’s word leads to freedom.
Sin distorts speech to achieve
desires for the self than love of
another.
God’s original design for words:
1. Communication
2. Relationship between God
and humanity and with each
other
3. God’s word in Gen 1-3 gave
life, direction, purpose, and
meaning to human existence.
Human words now reflect the
perversion of the human heart.
We speak as if we have the right to
be in charge (first sin of Adam – “to
be like God”) to attain what we
think will make us happy.
God’s word need to shape our
perspective: John 3:16 & Romans
8:28.
Sin of Adam and the Effect of Speech,
cont.
Redemptive speech starts with
who we are before God
Love One Another In your anger do not sin
Self-Pity: “Nothing ever works
out for me!”
Hopelessness
Anger/Resentment
Depression
Speech starts with hoping &
trusting the Lord
Speech borne out of self-love
will only be kind when it does not
impinge too much on one’s loves
Spouses: “Don’t they know how
important this is to me!”
Even sinners know how to give
and love when there is personal
benefit (Luke 6:34)
Christian love: love your
enemies (Luke 6:35)
In Christ, speaking truth in Love
Eph. 4
Speech is loving when it keeps
no record of wrongs.
Love is patient, kind, not
envious, boastful,
proud/arrogant, or rude.
It is not resentful. It does not
demand its own way or irritable.
(1 Cor. 13:4-5)
Redemptive Speech
Some Proverbs on Speech
Flattery Spreads Traps: Prov. 28:23; 29:5
People Seduce with Words: Prov. 2:16; 7:21
Fool Speaks in Haste: Prov. 29:20
Words Can Get You Into Trouble (It Can Ensnare
You!): Prov. 6:2-3
Fools Love to Air Their Own Opinions: Prov. 18:2
Seven Things Detestable to the Lord: Prov. 6:16-19:
Haughty Eyes, Lying Tongue, Hands that Shed
Innocent Blood, Wicked Heart, Feet that Rush to Evil,
False Witness, & Stirring of Dissension.
Many Words = Sin is not Absent: Prov. 10:19
Words of Gossip Sinks to the Inner Most Parts: Prov.
18:8; 26:20-21
Righteous Words Can Rescue a Person: Prov. 12:6;
Righteous Words Bring Healing: Prov. 12:17-19
Reckless Words Pierce Like a Sword: Prov. 12:17-19
Perverse Words Stir Dissension & Quarrels: Prov.
16:28; Prov. 17:14, 19;
Listening to Evil Speech is Evil: Prov. 17:4
Quarrelsome Spouse is Difficult: Prov. 21:9; 27:15-16
James on the Tongue: A Restless Evil?
James 3:3-12:
Next Biblical Foundations Lecture
Communication struggles is a heart matter!
Jesus Defeats Satanic Lies and Perverse Seduction
Matt. 4:1-11
• Jesus – “It is written ….”
• Satan knows Scripture, too. (e.g., Ps. 91:11-12)
To use our words wisely is a part of spiritual warfare.
Redemptive Speech, cont.
Rom. 8:28 - “And we know that God causes
everything to work together for the good of those
who love God and are called according to his
purpose for them.” (NLT)
We can question, lament, mourn. (Habakkuk)
Difference between a complaint and a lament
Motive, Direction, and Goal
Faithful speech brings us closer to God.
We lash out at people or are irritated with them when we
perceive them to be standing in the way of our happiness.
Redemptive Speech, cont.
Our words needs to be redemptive:
Wholesome words: restore, correct, and build up
Ephesians 4:29-30:
Curse words or vulgarity is ultimately self-centered
worship that reigns down curses upon the person or
situation God has brought into your life.
We curse people and situations that do not satisfy our
desires, wants, dreams or demands. The sin of Adam
once again – “want to be like God.”
Tripp, P. D. (1997). Age of opportunity: A biblical guide to
parenting teens. Phillipsburg, NJ: Presbyterian &
Reformed Pub Co.
Tripp, P. D. (2000). War of words: Getting to the heart of your
communication struggles. Phillipsburg, NJ: Presbyterian &
Reformed Pub Co.
Tripp, T. (2011). Shepherding a child’s heart. Wapwallopen, PA:
Shepherd Press.
References