Christian Worldview

WVC 401

Kingdom Life

Belhaven University

Unit Two Biblical Foundations

Singleness

Pre-Engagement

Expectations in Marriage

Gender Identity, Sex, and Boundaries in Marriage

Biblical Foundations I

Overview of Key Scriptural Passages

 Biblical significance of being made in the image

of God

Genesis 1:27 So God created human beings in his own

image. In the image of God he created them; male and

female he created them. 28 Then God blessed them and

said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it.

Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all

the animals that scurry along the ground.” (NLT)

 Singleness, Marriage, Role of Sex in Marriage, &

Abandonment

1 Corinthians 7:1 “Now regarding the questions you asked in your

letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. 2 But because

there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own

wife, and each woman should have her own husband. 3 The husband

should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her

husband's needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her

husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 5

Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to

refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give

yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come

together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of

your lack of self-control.”

Biblical Foundations I, cont.

 Singleness, Marriage, Role of Sex in Marriage, &

Abandonment

1 Corinthians 7: “7 But I wish everyone were single, just as

I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one

kind or another. 8 So I say to those who aren't married and

to widows-- it's better to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9 But

if they can't control themselves, they should go ahead and

marry. It's better to marry than to burn with lust. 10 But for

those who are married, I have a command that comes not

from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her

husband. 11 But if she does leave him, let her remain single

or else be reconciled to him. And the husband must not

leave his wife.”

Biblical Foundations I, cont.

 Singleness, Marriage, Role of Sex in Marriage, &

Abandonment

1 Corinthians 7: “12 Now, I will speak to the rest of you, though I

do not have a direct command from the Lord. If a Christian man

has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to continue

living with him, he must not leave her. 13 And if a Christian

woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to

continue living with her, she must not leave him. 14 For the

Christian wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the Christian

husband brings holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your

children would not be holy, but now they are holy. 15 (But if the

husband or wife who isn't a believer insists on leaving, let them

go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is no longer

bound to the other, for God has called you to live in peace.)”

Biblical Foundations I, cont.

 Singleness, Marriage, Role of Sex in Marriage, &

Abandonment

1 Corinthians 7: “16 Don't you wives realize that your husbands might be

saved because of you? And don't you husbands realize that your wives

might be saved because of you? 17 Each of you should continue to live in

whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when

God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches.

26 Because of the present crisis, I think it is best to remain as you are. 27 If

you have a wife, do not seek to end the marriage. If you do not have a

wife, do not seek to get married. 28 But if you do get married, it is not a sin.

And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who

get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you

those problems.”

Biblical Foundations I, cont.

 Singleness, Marriage, Role of Sex in Marriage, &

Abandonment

1 Corinthians 7: “32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life.

An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and

thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his

earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are

divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has

never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in

spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly

responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for

your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever

will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”

Biblical Foundations I, cont.

 Singleness, Marriage, Role of Sex in Marriage, &

Abandonment

1 Corinthians 7: “36 But if a man thinks that he's treating his fiancée

improperly and will inevitably give in to his passion, let him marry her

as he wishes. It is not a sin. 37 But if he has decided firmly not to marry

and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well

not to marry. 38 So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and

the person who doesn't marry does even better. 39 A wife is bound to

her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to

marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord. 40 But in my

opinion it would be better for her to stay single, and I think I am giving

you counsel from God's Spirit when I say this.”

Biblical Foundations I, cont.

 Personhood

Exodus 21:22 "Now suppose two men are fighting, and in

the process they accidentally strike a pregnant woman so

she gives birth prematurely. If no further injury results, the

man who struck the woman must pay the amount of

compensation the woman's husband demands and the

judges approve. 23 But if there is further injury, the

punishment must match the injury: a life for a life, 24 an eye

for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a hand for a hand, a foot for

a foot, 25 a burn for a burn, a wound for a wound, a bruise

for a bruise.” (NLT)

Biblical Foundations I, cont.

 Divorce & Remarriage

Matthew 5:31 "You have heard the law that says, 'A man can

divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ 32 But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has

been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who

marries a divorced woman also commits adultery.” (NLT)

 Shepherding Children

Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger

by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the

discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” (NLT)

Biblical Foundations I, cont.

 Proper Speech

James 3: “1 Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become

teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2

Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our

tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every

other way. 3 We can make a large horse go wherever we want by

means of a small bit in its mouth. 4 And a small rudder makes a huge

ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are

strong. 5 In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand

speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. 6 And the

tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting

your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by

hell itself.”

Biblical Foundations I, cont.

 Proper Speech

James 3: “7 People can tame all kinds of animals, birds,

reptiles, and fish, 8 but no one can tame the tongue. It is

restless and evil, full of deadly poison. 9 Sometimes it

praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses

those who have been made in the image of God. 10 And so

blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth.

Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! 11 Does a

spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter

water? 12 Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine

produce figs? No, and you can't draw fresh water from a

salty spring.” (NLT)

Biblical Foundations I, cont.

 Wealth & Possessions

Proverbs 3:9 “Honor the LORD with your wealth and with the best part

of everything you produce. 10 Then he will fill your barns with grain, and

your vats will overflow with good wine.” (NLT)

 Biblical View of Work

Genesis 2:1 “So the creation of the heavens and the earth and everything

in them was completed. 2 On the seventh day God had finished his work

of creation, so he rested from all his work. 3 And God blessed the seventh

day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all

his work of creation. 15 The LORD God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and

watch over it.” (NLT)

Biblical Foundations I, cont.

 Conflicts

James 4:1 - “What is causing the quarrels and fights

among you? Don't they come from the evil desires at war

within you? 2 You want what you don't have, so you

scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others

have, but you can't get it, so you fight and wage war to

take it away from them. Yet you don't have what you want

because you don't ask God for it. 3 And even when you

ask, you don't get it because your motives are all wrong -

you want only what will give you pleasure.” (NLT)

Biblical Foundations I, cont.

 Sin & Addiction

Proverbs 23: “29 Who has anguish? Who has sorrow? Who is always fighting? Who is always complaining? Who has unnecessary bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes? 30 It is the one who spends long hours in the taverns, trying out new drinks. 31 Don't gaze at the wine, seeing how red it is, how it sparkles in the cup, how smoothly it goes down. 32 For in the end it bites like a poisonous snake; it stings like a viper. 33 You will see hallucinations, and you will say crazy things. 34 You will stagger like a sailor tossed at sea, clinging to a swaying mast. 35 And you will say, "They hit me, but I didn't feel it. I didn't even know it when they beat me up. When will I wake up so I can look for another drink?" (NLT)

Biblical Foundations I, cont.

 Our Culture: Singleness to Celebrate Personal

Freedom  Travel, establish careers, and explore life before

marriage

 False view of marriage:

• “Just a piece of paper”

• “It will tie me down.” (loss of freedom)

• Crush my individuality

• Better to cohabitate than make a life-impacting

mistake

Singleness

 Marriage: “It is a way for two spiritual friends to

help each other on their journey to become the

persons God designed them to be” (Keller, 2011b, p. 9).

 But singleness is a gift from the Lord!

 Old Testament View on Singleness  Genesis 1:28 – “fruitful and multiply.” Singleness was

viewed generally as an aberration.

Singleness, cont.

 Widows: helpless (Isa. 4:1), remarry (Ruth 3-4), levirate

marriage (Deut. 25:5-6), childless widow from priestly family

can return to father’s home (Lev. 22:13), live on welfare

(Deut. 24:19)

 Eunuchs: Keeper of concubines or Queen’s attendants

(Esther 2:3, 14-15; 4:5), military leaders (2 Kings 25:19; Jer.

52:25), generally unadmired position, precluded from worship

and priesthood (Lev. 21:20; Deut. 23:1)

 Diseased (e.g., leprosy)

 Divine Call – Jeremiah (Jer. 16:1-4). This was rare.

 Divorced who could not remarry (Deut. 24:1-4), and

unmarried men and women

Singleness, cont.

 Singleness in the New Testament?

 Too young or death of spouse - Marriage was the

norm.

 John the Baptist, Jesus, and Paul were single.

1 Cor. 7: “7 But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each

person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.” (NLT)

Matt. 19: “12 Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made

eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the

Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.” (NLT)

Singleness, cont.

 New Testament on Singleness

 Divine Call – (1) select few and (2) freely chosen. Not

determined by circumstances.

 Do not have this gift if we cannot exercise self-control

(1 Cor. 7:2, 9, 28)

 What’s so great about a season of singleness?

 Devotion to the Lord without personal interests divided

(1 Cor. 7:33-34)

 Cultivate spiritual power:

• Men, Woman, & Widow

Singleness, cont.

Cultivating spiritual powers:

 Men  Powers to overcome sexual temptations – benefits to

married life (Gen. 39:7-13)

 Hollywood on cohabitation unmasked – weak

commitment

 Cultivate sacrificial love - building up others (1 Cor. 13)

 Nurture right values and priorities – affects how men

view & treat women (1 Pet. 3:3-4)

 Learn God’s wisdom, hold godly company, and seek

godly advice (Proverbs 1)

Singleness, cont.

 Women:  Beauty is not in gold, pearls, & expensive clothes but in

kindness, gentle spirit, and good deeds. (1 Tim. 2:9-10;

1 Pet. 3:3-6)

 Proverbs 31: Personification of Wisdom • Husband can trust her – cultivate that beauty during singleness

• Enriches the life of her family and brings her husband good and

not harm

• Diligent, not led away by foolish pleasures

• She manages her house well – managing life well starts with

singleness

• She makes wise investments and is kind to the poor and those

who work for her

• She prepares for what could be in the future

• Empowers her husband, and, raises her children with godly

wisdom

Singleness, cont.

 Younger Widows  In the New Testament era, widows were sometimes

financially exploited.(Mark 12:40)

 If their passions still burn, it is better to marry.

(1 Tim. 5:11-12)

• Better to marry than be idle (1 Tim. 5:13; Titus 1:12)

• Better than to be busybodies, or, gossipers (3 Jn. 10;

2 Thess. 3:11)

• Better to manage homes and raise a family and give

the enemy no room for slander (1 Tim. 2:15; 5:14; 2

Cor. 5:12)

• Better to adorn oneself with the beauty of good works

Singleness, cont.

Cultivating the Right Values: Who will pay for the wrong decision?  We are attracted to what we value:

 Sexual attraction is important but character is more important.

 We will suffer for marrying a person with the wrong character.

 Proverbs on right character • Faithfulness/Commitment

o Prov. 5: “15 Drink water from your own well-- share your love only with your wife. 16 Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone?”

Pre-Engagement

 Proverbs on right character

Contentment

 Prov. 5: “19 She is a loving deer, a graceful

doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May

you always be captivated by her love.” (NLT)

Addictions/Lack of Self-Control

Prov. 5: “22 An evil man is held captive by his

own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold

him.”

Adultery (Prov. 6:29)

Pre-Engagement, cont.

 Proverbs on right character  Disgraceful person (Prov. 12:4)

 Quarrelsomeness/complaining

(Prov. 19:13; 21:9, 19, 24; 27:15)

 Understanding (Prov. 19:14)

 Violent/hot temper – foolishness (Prov. 14:29)

 Overlook a wrong/sensible (Prov. 19:11)

 Laziness brings poverty (Prov. 10:4)

 Gullible (Prov. 14:15), scheming (Prov. 14:17),

belittling (Prov. 14:21)

Pre-Engagement, cont.

Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott’s

Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts

 Myth-busters!  Myth 1: “We Expect Exactly the Same Things from

Marriage.”

 Myth 2: “Everything Good in Our Relationship Will Get

Better.”

 Myth 3: “Everything Bad in My Life Will Disappear.”

 Myth 4: “My Spouse Will Make Me Whole.”

Expectations in Marriage

Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott’s Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts

 Love Stages Stage 1: Romance Stage 2: Power Struggle Stage 3: Cooperation Stage 4: Mutuality Stage 5: Co-Creativity

Expectations in Marriage, cont.

Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott’s

Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts

 Making Love Last a Lifetime

Cultivate Passion: touch, enjoyable

experiences, compliment spouse

Cultivate Intimacy: spend time, listen, accept,

focus on commonalities, deepen spirituality

Cultivate Intimacy: commitment, meet spouse’s

needs, honor promises

Expectations in Marriage, cont.

 Our Culture: Gender Confusion  Homosexuality

 Transgender

God’s Original Design: One Man and One

Woman

“Fruitful and Multiply” Gen. 1:28  Same-sex couple adoption

 More mainline denominations ordaining homosexual

clergy

Gender Identity, Sex, and Boundaries

in Marriage

Pro-homosexual Interpretation of the Bible

 Roman World Moral debauchery, sexual excess, and

perversity Pederasty

 Genesis 18:17-19:29 Rape & inhospitality

 Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 Homosexual acts tied to Canaanite temple

prostitution

Gender Identity, Sex, and Boundaries

in Marriage, cont.

Pro-homosexual Interpretation of the Bible

 Celibate homosexual relationships okay?

 Romans 1:18-32

Homosexuality is an example among many

examples. (vv. 29-32)

Contrary to pederasty, Paul uses examples of

relationships among men and women.

Not just the act but the lust

 “Contrary to nature”

Gender Identity, Sex, and Boundaries

in Marriage, cont.

No Room for Arrogance!

 Romans 1-3: Universal Sinfulness of Humanity  We are all sinners before a holy God – no one is

righteous. We all deserve the wrath of God for our sins.  What is the wrath of God to Paul in Romans?  Heterosexual lust vs. homosexual lust

 We all need the grace of God but we need to recognize what is unnatural  God calls us to fight our heterosexual lusts  God calls the homosexual to fight their homosexual

lusts

Gender Identity, Sex, and Boundaries

in Marriage, cont.

Role of Sex in Marriage

 Culture Celebrates Sex as Freedom vs. Moral Decay

 Irresponsible Sexual Acts:

 Morning after pills, abortions, & giving up of children

 Topic of responsible sex is important

 Sex was meant to be enjoyed between husband & wife

 No regrets, pain, shame, & guilt for fleeting pleasures

Gender Identity, Sex, and Boundaries

in Marriage, cont.

Sex is Good! God’s Gift to Humanity  When sex becomes an idol leads to perversion:

 Pornography, pedophile, rape, & violent sex crimes

 Sex between husband & wife can increasingly become perverted

which leaves the door open to more ungodly experimentation

(intruder alert!)

 Sex under the lordship of Christ is good!

 “Submitted to God, and in keeping with his creative purposes,

marriage, including sex, is thus the vehicle by which God is

glorified and the marriage partners experience the growing

fulfillment that comes from living their lives the way their good,

faithful, and loving Creator intended them to be lived”

(Kostenberger, 2010, p. 80).

Gender Identity, Sex, and Boundaries

in Marriage, cont.

 Song of Songs – Human Sexuality is Beautiful!

 Purpose of Sex (Kostenberger, 2010, pp. 80-82)

 Procreational (Gen 1:28; 9:1) – fulfills God’s mandate

 Sex strengthens relational bonds between husband &

wife

• Not just to fill a physical need but to love the spouse

 Public Good

 Pleasure

Gender Identity, Sex, and Boundaries

in Marriage, cont.

 Gospel-Centered Sex (1 Cor. 7:1-5) “1 Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is

good to abstain from sexual relations. 2 But because there is so

much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and

each woman should have her own husband. 3 The husband

should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her

husband's needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her

husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his

wife. 5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you

both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you

can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you

should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt

you because of your lack of self-control.” (NLT)

Gender Identity, Sex, and Boundaries

in Marriage, cont.

 Gospel-Centered Sex (1 Cor. 7:1-5)

 Sacrificial love – just as Christ gave his body to the cross for the church

• Husbands & wives are to give their bodies to each other.

 “Do not deprive” – should not withhold sex as punishment or weapon

 Prolonged abstinence – not a proper form of birth control

 Prayer – temporary abstinence. Spiritual focus to ward off perversion

 Sexual inactivity (displeasure) within a marriage – dysfunctional marriage (warning light!)

 Satan has gained a foothold.

Gender Identity, Sex, and Boundaries

in Marriage, cont.

Marriage as Contract vs. Covenant  If viewed as contract:

 Marriage is conditional; both parties must fulfill their part.  Marriage is for their own benefit.  Marriage doesn’t last when benefits are no longer

perceived.  If viewed as a covenant:

 Permanent (except in cases of death, adultery, & abandonment).

 Not an agreement between two people but promising to live a life before God

 Not mere personal benefit but service that requires forgiveness and restoration

Gender Identity, Sex, and Boundaries

in Marriage, cont.

Boundaries in Marriage  Husbands are to lead and wives are to empower, but both

must say no to abuse.

 Lack of communication is the death of a marriage (be

careful of people pleasing).

 Negative thought, self-pity, blame, & resentment

 Criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling

 Attack: verbally & physically

 Escape: Addictions, adultery, work, children, friends

 This course: How to foster healthy relationships before

God

Gender Identity, Sex, and Boundaries

in Marriage, cont.

Campbell, K. M. (Ed.). (2003). Marriage and family in the biblical world.

Downers Grove, IL: IVP Academic.

Keller, T. (2011b). The meaning of marriage: Facing the complexities of

commitment with the wisdom of God. New York, NY: Penguin Books.

Köstenberger, A. J., & Jones, D. W. (2010). God, marriage, and family:

Rebuilding the biblical foundation. Wheaton, IL: Crossway.

Parrott, L., & Parrott, L. (2009). Saving your marriage before it starts: Seven

questions to ask before-and after-you marry. Grand Rapids, MI:

Zondervan.

References