COM2006 WK 2 Project

Role of Culture and Gender in Listening

Both culture and gender have in�uence on how people listen. Beebe et al. (2017) explain that people

have different listening styles, goals, and focuses. For example, people from a collectivist culture—or a

culture where its members identify more with the group than their own individual identities—lean

toward being more relational listeners. Relational listeners tend to listen more to the emotions exhibited in the conversation than the message structure or content. On the other hand, task-oriented

listeners tend to listen for task details and the structure of the message to hear what steps need to be

taken. Analytical listeners act more like a judge and withhold judgment until all sides or facts are heard.

Listening styles also vary by gender. Women are more often relational listeners, and men more often

can be task-oriented or analytical listeners.

Besides your having to negotiate differences due to different listening styles, your listening abilities may be hampered because of listening barriers. Beebe et al. (2017) explain that people can be poor

listeners because of listening barriers, which include being self-absorbed, being self-selecting, using

unchecked emotions, exhibiting listener apprehension, criticizing the speaker silently, and

experiencing information overload or external noise.

Let's look at an example about how these different barriers affected this romantic couple. Josh is a

task-oriented listener, and his �ancée, Shanti, is a relational listener. Josh and Shanti are in the process

of planning their wedding. They make a date to go out to dinner to discuss their ideas. That day, Josh has a very trying issue at work. Shanti is very excited about planning and spends the day downloading

information for their discussion.

The evening does not go very well. First off, Shanti pulls out a pile of material for them to go over. As

she is going through the pile, she notices that Josh is not focusing on what she is saying.

Josh, on the other hand, is running the work situation through his head and hardly listens to what

Shanti is saying. The barrier that Josh is facing is self-absorption. When he �nally focuses, he becomes overwhelmed by the amount of material that Shanti has brought. Josh is experiencing information

overload.

Shanti becomes upset because of Josh's lack of focus and starts nagging about how Josh does not do

his part in the planning. Shanti's unchecked emotions further deter Josh's ability to listen.

Shanti fortunately calms herself down and decides to focus on one wedding alternative and puts the

rest of the material away. She goes on to explain what is involved with this particular resort, where they can have both their wedding and their reception.

Although Josh is relieved that Shanti has calmed down, he only half listens until she starts to explain

what the wedding will cost at this resort—at this point, Josh becomes focused and starts listening. This

is selective listening, causing Josh to miss the other details related to this wedding alternative.

Shanti again gets upset because she thinks that his reaction is typical and that all he ever cares about is

money. Now, Shanti loses her focus because she is remembering similar arguments that she and Josh

have had in the past. When Josh talks about how his best friend saved a lot of money on his wedding,

Shanti hardly hears what he is saying.

What can Josh and Shanti do to get back on track? First of all, both of them need to stop their internal

dialogues. Josh needs to put his work problems aside, and Shanti needs to stop internally criticizing

Josh. Both need to be mindful of what the other needs, understands, and believes. In addition, both Josh and Shanti need to be open minded and take time to listen to each other's vision for their

wedding.

Learning to improve your listening skills will help you become a more competent communicator. As in

the example of Josh and Shanti, the more emotionally charged the topic or situation is, the more you

need to be an effective listener. Especially in dif�cult or emotional discussions, you need to be an

empathic listener and listen to the other's expressed feelings along with the content of the message. Being other oriented, or listening with compassion and imagining what the other person is feeling, will

aid you in becoming a better listener and a more competent communicator.