COM2006 WK 2 Project

Gender Affects the Communication Self

Diversity also includes gender. In other words, our gender affects how we communicate. Tannen's

(1990) seminal work on gender communication argues that men and women do communicate

differently. Our genders in�uence our communication just as our culture in�uences how we

communicate. Tannen (1990) claims that men are more orientated toward report whereas women are more orientated toward rapport.

Let's look at a �ctitious example of a newly married couple. Joe and Laura have been married for about

four months now and are experiencing their �rst marital problems. Laura has a dif�cult schedule

because she is working full time in a professional career and attending a graduate school. She often

feels tired and harried. Lately, she has had issues with Maria, who is another colleague in her

department. Laura feels that Maria is trying to undermine her at work by creating doubts in the mind of Laura's boss about Laura's ability to handle her work duties and school obligations. Maria is very

subtle and covert in her undermining tactics. She will do things like offering to take over a client for

Laura in front of the boss, hinting subtly that Laura has too much to do with work and school. This puts

Laura on the defensive, giving her cause to claim that she has everything under control and thanks for

the offer. Laura is worried that she will not fare that well in her next job review because of Maria's

comments.

When she gets home, she goes straight to Joe to tell him what happened at the of�ce. Laura is tired and frustrated at this point. Joe's reaction is to quiz Laura about exactly what was said and how Laura

reacted. Laura becomes more frustrated because she just wants a proverbial shoulder to cry on and

Joe seems bent on �xing her problems. Laura is looking for support, but Joe is looking to �nd an answer

for her. This irritates Laura because she feels that Joe is underestimating her ability to handle the

situation. She only wants to vent.

Joe, on the other hand, wants her to report the facts about what happened. He is confused by Laura's responses because all he wants to do is to help her. Dismissing Laura's frustration only seems to

escalate her irritation. This dismays Joe because he thinks he is being supportive. Joe dismisses Laura's

mood as coming from a "female problem," thinking that women can be too emotional.

Let's look at what Laura and Joe can do to help ease their tensions. Beebe et al. (2017) propose that in

order to improve your communication competence when dealing with diversity, you need to seek

information, tolerate ambiguity, be mindful, avoid negative judgments, adapt your communication, become other oriented, and become �exible. So let's look at what this means in Joe and Laura's

situation.

First of all, we do see that Joe is already actively seeking information from Laura about what happened

at work. What Laura needs to explain to Joe is how she feels. Since Maria is very subtle in how she

maneuvers Laura into a bad light, Laura often �nds herself handling a situation that is not clear-cut or

does not come with a prior warning.

Both Joe and Laura need to be mindful about each other's usual approach to these types of situations.

While Joe often believes in a more direct approach by naming the problem up front, Laura tends to

wait for the right time to speak up. Laura is often concerned about what people think of her and is

worried that her other colleagues and boss will label her as the "bad guy" if she is too sharp with Maria.

With these strategies in mind, Laura and Joe make a pact to be more sensitive to the other person and

recognize the differences in approaches. Laura agrees to be more up front about what she wants from

Joe. If she just wants to vent, she will explain that to Joe. If she wants tactics about what she can do in

the situation, she will let Joe know. Joe agrees to be more �exible and wait for Laura to explain her

needs and adjust his communication accordingly. Both Laura and Joe vow never to make negative

judgments, such as doubting each other's ability to be either level-headed or sensitive.

Additional Materials

Listening

Conversation 1

Sarah was tired and depressed because her boss reprimanded her at work about an error that she made in the accounting report. When she came home, she related what happened to her husband, Josh. Josh asked Sarah several questions about the work situation. He then proceeded to give her instructions about how she should fix the error with her boss. Sarah became very frustrated and stormed away, telling Josh that he just doesn’t understand.

View a PDF transcript of Listening (media/transcripts/Week2/SU_COM2006_W2_G2_L1.pdf?

_&d2lSessionVal=vlG2w4GLnr9erI10ZCLnbwrV8&ou=91172) 