What Makes a Hero?
Chen 1
Chen 2
What Makes a Hero?
Heroes are rare individuals who beat the odds to act against the expectations. In our daily lives, we are likely to encounter acts of heroism once in a while. However, their actions are out of this world, they put their lives at risk to ensure that they save innocent magnitude. For instance, on September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on the US soils provided a clear picture of some of the heroes that live in our midst. These are the people that risked their lives to ensure that they save others. Therefore, there are various versions of heroes that I have encountered over the years, this paper provides an analysis of some of the heroes that I have encountered, read on newspaper and even watched on television. These are ordinary individuals that made extraordinary things take place. Comment by Taylor Ikehara: I feel like the “they” you refer to in this sentence is a bit unclear! You mention “individuals” and “acts of heroism” before, and I think this sentence would be a good one to use “heroes”! “However, heroes’ actions are out of this world…” Comment by Taylor Ikehara: “on US soil” Comment by Taylor Ikehara: Comma splice! Make sure to put a linking word like “and” after it.
For a long time, I had a wrong perception about the heroes of our time. I believed that for one to be termed as a hero he/she must be engaged in some extraordinary heroics that are unimaginable in this world. However, with the recent events taking place in society I have learned that in our simple ways we can also be heroes in our society. For instance, the firemen who risk their own lives to ensure that they put out fires and save property and lives are our ever daily heroes. Some policemen have to run against the current to save the lives of people, bring order and peace in a society that is polarized. These are normal people that put their lives at risk and they have established themselves as lifesavers. However, my perceptions and attitudes have also significantly changed to believe that the individuals who save the little they have and feed the homeless, provide shelter and clothes for this kind of individual in society are the heroes of our lifetime. Comment by Taylor Ikehara: I think you mean “every” here! Comment by Taylor Ikehara: Comma splice! Comment by Taylor Ikehara: Comma splice!
1. Thesis and Response to the Topic: What did your peer reviewers say about your thesis? Do you need to narrow it, or make it clearer? Do you need to change your point of view? Write your revised thesis here. (If you are not making any changes, write down your old thesis and explain why you are not revising it.)
Peer reviewers did not give any feedback on my thesis. I am not revising my thesis because I think it is clear to understand what I am going to talk about in the essay. There are various versions of heroes that I have encountered over the years, this paper provides an analysis of some of the heroes that I have encountered, read on newspaper and even watched on television. These are ordinary individuals that made extraordinary things take place.
2. Organization and Paragraphing: What did your peer reviewers say about your organization? Are the ideas presented in a logical sequence or do they jump around or confuse the reader? Do you plan to change the organization in any way? Does the essay have effective transitions between ideas/sentences/paragraphs? Underline all transitional words (first, next, also) or phrases (on the other hand, in contrast to) in the essay.
I am not changing the organization of my essay.
3. Development and Support: What did your peer reviewers say? Was your essay long enough? Did you have enough points and were they well supported? What could you add? Do you think your details were superficial or detailed?
I think I have enough details in the paragraphs in order to support my thesis statement.
4. Sentence Structure, Grammar and Word Choice: Does your essay have any fragments or run-on sentences that need to be corrected? Are your verb tenses consistent and accurate? Are there better, more concise words that you could use to elevate your writing? Highlight (in yellow) two words in your essay that you will try to find better substitutes for in your revision.
Peer reviewers did not give any feedback on my sentences, grammar and word choice.
5. Assessment: What are the three different scores you received by your peers? What did you rate your essay and why do you think that number is appropriate for your essay?
Peer score #1: 12/16
Peer score #2: 15/16
Peer score #3: 0/16 (I think the peer reviewer forgot to score my essay)
Self-score: 15/16
Reason for self score:
I think my thesis statement is clear, paragraph is well organized and I provide examples to support my thesis.