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Pearson Tutor Services Response Form

Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] throughout your essay. Thank you for choosing Pearson Tutor Services' Online Writing Center to help you improve your writing!

Hello, Nasira! I am Patricia C. I look forward to working with you on this Pearson Tutor Services Essay Review to improve your writing today. I noticed that you do not provide enough assignment information, but based on your essay title, you are writing an argumentative essay on marijuana use. I want you to know that I am reviewing your draft with this understanding. To be sure about your revisions, please review your complete assignment guidelines and/or consult your instructor for more guidance. Let's get started!

*Writing Strength:  First of all, you provide relevant background information in the introduction:

· Marijuana is the most used illicit substance in the United States and Canada. According to Elflein (2020), almost half of Canadians have reported using marijuana at one point in their lives. The number includes teenagers between the ages of 12 to 18 years. In the United States, 38% of high school students report to having used marijuana at one time in their lives (CDC, 2017). The numbers keep increasing showing the magnitude of the problem of teenage use of marijuana. Teen use of marijuana is a major problem as it is known to have harmful effects on the health of the teenager. The brain of teenagers is usually not fully developed. The brain fully develops in the mid 20s. This puts teenagers at risk of the harmful effects related with the use of marijuana. Studies have shown that marijuana use in teenagers reduces their cognitive functioning (Scott et al., 2018). 

You introduce the issue of marijuana use among teenagers. Readers who are unfamiliar with the issue now have context for your argument. Good job, Nasira! :)

*Nasira 13043103 has requested that you respond to the Main Idea/Thesis:  At the moment, your thesis is not argumentative. Here it is:

· Marijuana use among teenagers is a big problem as it endangers their lives by reducing their cognitive functioning and is linked with respiratory symptoms and should therefore be dealt with in our society.

The thesis is only informative. As you are writing an argumentative essay, however, you must write a clear, debatable claim or proposal in the thesis. Here is an example:

· Smoking not only harms humans but also animals and the environment and, therefore, must be banned.

This thesis is argumentative as some readers might be against banning smoking, for instance, because they believe it is necessary for relieving stress. In your case then, given the effects of marijuana use on teenagers, what is your stand on marijuana use? Or, what do you propose should be done to address the issue? Make sure that you write an argumentative thesis, Nasira. :)

*Nasira 13043103 has requested that you respond to the Organization:  Moving on, some body paragraphs lack focus. For instance, here is an excerpt from Effect of Marijuana on the Teenage Brain:

· There are thousands of studies that have been carried out to show the impact of marijuana use among teenagers and its impact on the human brain. Mokrysz et al., (2016) was able to show that teenagers who use marijuana have poor cognitive and executive functioning in some domains like neural responses, verbal, and working memory. Other studies have linked marijuana use among teenagers to decline in IQ and verbal and mental disorders during adulthood. Arseneult et al., (2016) showed that the use of marijuana during teenage years was a risk factor to psychosis during adult years. The same study showed frequent use of marijuana increases the likelihood of experiencing the symptoms of schizophrenia in adulthood. 

Several effects of marijuana on the teenage brain are mentioned here. The focus of the discussion is unclear, making it quite confusing to read. I recommend that you reorganize your discussion in the section. Consider dividing the effects of marijuana use on the teenage brain in categories:

I. Cognitive development

II. Mental health issues

III. Academic performance

As you can see, one paragraph is dedicated to each main category. For instance, in the second body paragraph, you can focus the discussion on how marijuana causes several mental health issues. Make sure that you write focused body paragraphs in the sections of your paper.

 Word Choice: Finally, there are a few misused words in your draft. For instance, I found some prepositions that are not used correctly. Prepositions are words that are used to connect a noun to another word. Examples of prepositions are on, at, and in; they are used to show location.  Take a look at this sentence from the introductory  paragraph:

·  This puts teenagers at risk of the harmful effects related with the use of marijuana. 

The word in boldface is misused. You need to be careful with the prepositions that you use so that readers are not confused about what you mean. Some words require specific prepositions to be paired with them. Additionally, misused words, like prepositions, can also make your sentences sound awkward when read.

In this case, instead of “with,” the correct preposition to use with "'related" is "to.” Here is an example: There are some issues related to these changes. Guided by this example, you can correct the misused word in your sentence above. In the future, you must use a dictionary if you are unsure about the words you are using. It also helps to read your draft aloud so that you will hear if there are any confusing or awkward sentences.

Summary of Next Steps: 

· Write an argumentative thesis.

· Write focused body paragraphs.

· Correct the misused words. 

Thank you for submitting your essay for a review, Nasira. I enjoyed helping you with this step in the revision process. Have a good day! ~Patricia C.

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Please look for more comments [in bold and in brackets] in your essay below. Thank you for submitting your work to Pearson Tutor Services! We hope to see you again soon.

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The Effect of Marijuana on the Cognitive and Respiratory Health of Teenagers

 

 

 

 

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The Effect of Marijuana on the Cognitive and Respiratory Health of Teenagers

 

Marijuana is the most used illicit substance in the United States and Canada. According to Elflein (2020), almost half of Canadians have reported using marijuana at one point in their lives. The number includes teenagers between the ages of 12 to 18 years. In the United States, 38% of high school students report to having used marijuana at one time in their lives (CDC, 2017). The numbers keep increasing showing the magnitude of the problem of teenage use of marijuana. Teen use of marijuana is a major problem as it is known to have harmful effects on the health of the teenager. The brain of teenagers is usually not fully developed. The brain fully develops in the mid 20s. This puts teenagers at risk of the harmful effects related with the use of marijuana. Studies have shown that marijuana use in teenagers reduces their cognitive functioning (Scott et al., 2018). Worley (2019) suggested that marijuana use by teenagers is linked with disruption of the brain’s reward system, impaired memory and cognition, and possibility of structural brain changes. The negative effects of marijuana use among teenagers show that it should be dealt with in our society. It stretches the Canadian healthcare system as the problem can lead to hospitalization due to its impact on the health of the teenager. Marijuana use among teenagers is a big problem as it endangers their lives by reducing their cognitive functioning and is linked with respiratory symptoms and should therefore be dealt with in our society.

Incidence and Prevalence

Marijuana is the most used illicit substance both in the United States and Canada. It is the second most smoked substance after tobacco in the world. A report in 2010 ranked Canadian teenagers as first in marijuana use among 43 countries in Europe and North America (Christina and Richard, 2017). The report showed that the teens had either tried using marijuana at least by the age of 15. The report also showed that indigenous youths are at greater risk with nearly two thirds between 15-19 years. Another report shows that nearly half of Canadians claim to having used marijuana at one time in their lives to (Elflein, 2020). This figure includes teens and adults.

 In the United States, 38% of high school students report to having used marijuana at one time in their lives (CDC, 2017). The Substance Abuse and Mental health Agency report of 2018 shows that nearly 43 million Americans used marijuana in 2017 (Kaliszewski, 2021). This report showed that 1 in 8 teenagers used marijuana in 2017 making it the most used illicit drug by teenagers.  12th graders are reported to be the highest users of marijuana with 44% having used marijuana at one time in their lives (Kaliszewski, 2021). [The pieces of evidence here are not explained. In your words, what do these pieces of evidence prove about the incidence and prevalence of marijuana use among teenagers? Why is the teenage use of marijuana concerning?]

Effect of Marijuana on the Teenage Brain

Numerous studies have shown the use of marijuana has negative effect on the teenage brain. The teenage brain is not fully developed as the brain becomes fully developed in the mid 20s. Therefore, the use of marijuana during teen years has the potential of harming the teenage brain. The teenage years are usually a period of rapid growth and exploration. Some teenagers will feel the need to take risks on new behaviors. During this period some will want to experiment with new behaviors like the use of drugs like marijuana and tobacco. However, the frequent use of marijuana by the teenager will have a long-lasting impact on the physical and mental health of the teenager. A study by Mokrysz et al., (2016) showed that teenage use of marijuana has physiological and memory impairing effects.

Also, the exposure of marijuana to the human brain during teenage years has greater adverse effects compared to adults. The teenage brain is still growing during these years and is not yet fully developed. Delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) is one of the chemicals associated with emotional changes in marijuana. According to Christina & Richard (2017), these chemicals will stimulate cannabinoid receptors. These processes lead to frontal cortex being affected as it is the part of the brain responsible for cognitive process. Unfortunately the frontal cortex of the teen brain is usually still growing and undergoing rapid change. The use of marijuana disrupts the endocannabinoid system affecting brain development making the teen susceptible to marijuana related harms.

There are thousands of studies that have been carried out to show the impact of marijuana use among teenagers and its impact on the human brain. Mokrysz et al., (2016) was able to show that teenagers who use marijuana have poor cognitive and executive functioning in some domains like neural responses, verbal, and working memory. Other studies have linked marijuana use among teenagers to decline in IQ and verbal and mental disorders during adulthood. Arseneult et al., (2016) showed that the use of marijuana during teenage years was a risk factor to psychosis during adult years. The same study showed frequent use of marijuana increases the likelihood of experiencing the symptoms of schizophrenia in adulthood. 

As the teenage brain is not fully developed, the frequent use of marijuana will lead to difficulty in thinking and problem solving, impaired coordination, difficulty in maintaining attention, and problems with memory (CDC, 2017). The user will have problems at school as their school performance is likely to decline due to the issues with thinking and problem solving. There is a mix of result in relation to the impact of marijuana use on the IQ of the teenager. Some studies have shown the frequent use of marijuana by the teenager will have a negative impact on the IQ of the teenager while some have been inconclusive on the matter. However, drop in school performance is more likely to the impact of marijuana on the frontal cortex that is responsible for decision-making and judgement.

There will be an increase in mental health issues for the teenage user. Depression and anxiety have been linked with frequent use of marijuana among teenagers. Depressive symptoms are likely to start during teenage years and continue as the teenage continues to grow (Arseneult et al., 2016). There is a higher risk of psychosis later in life for the teenager. The risk becomes greater if there is a family history of psychosis. Marijuana has a high concentration of psychoactive properties which lead to structural brain changes. This impairs a number of skills like those required in driving.

Effect of Marijuana on the Respiratory Health of Teenagers

Marijuana is the most second smoked illicit drug in the world. As the drug is smoked it irritates the throat and lungs of the user. The user is more likely to cough due to the irritation caused by the smoke. Marijuana also contains various chemicals some of which are similar to those found in cigarettes. This becomes a major problem for the teenagers who smoke marijuana as the continued use of the drug increases the risk of lung disease and cancer. The impact of smoking marijuana among teenagers is similar to that of their cognitive health. Smoking marijuana has adverse effects on their cognitive functioning. This is similar as continuous smoking of marijuana affects their respiratory health negatively.

Smoking marijuana can cause chronic bronchitis as it injures the cell linings of the large airways. Boyd et al., (2021) was able to associate the symptoms of respiratory disorders with smoking marijuana. [There is a subject-verb agreement error here. You use the singular verb "was" with the plural subject "Boyd et al." Instead, you must use the plural verb "were." Here is an example: Anderson et al. (2012) were able to prove that...] Some of the symptoms found on teenagers who smoke marijuana include wheezing of the chest. The symptoms were found to be twice as high in relation to those who smoke cigarettes making smoking marijuana more dangerous than those smoking cigarettes. Smoking marijuana is associated with higher respiratory symptoms for teenagers. The symptoms include chronic cough, acute bronchitis, and wheezing.

Those smoking marijuana are more likely to visit hospitals than those smoking tobacco products. Some studies blame this on marijuana reducing respiratory immune system response. This increases the teenager’s risk of acquiring respiratory infections like pneumonia. Other studies have shown cannabinoid alter the immune function of the body making it susceptible to infections (Rustem et al., 2017). Marijuana has more negative impact on the lungs due the way I is smoked. Marijuana is usually inhaled deeply and holding the smoke in their lung. This increases the lung health risks of smoking marijuana among teenagers.

Effect of Marijuana among Teenagers on Canadian Health System

The various health problems associated with the use of marijuana among teenagers has a negative impact on the Canadian health system. The Canadian health system is likely to be overwhelmed as a result of increased hospitalizations due to the devastating effect of continued use of marijuana among teenagers. There is an increase in mental health issues due to increased use of marijuana among teenagers. Canada is ranked among the top countries with increased use of marijuana among teenagers. This means the risk of mental health issues is greater in Canada in comparison to other nations. Canada is ranked among the top countries when it comes to access to medical care. The insurance premiums are much lower than those in the United States. However, this is likely to change if the system is overwhelmed with mental health cases caused by increased number of teenagers using marijuana.

The system will become overwhelmed due to the negative effect of marijuana use among teenagers. The biggest problem will be mental health. Teenage use of marijuana has physiological and memory impairing effects (Mokrysz et al., 2016). Canada partially covers mental health where non-physicians’ mental health providers or prescription drugs are not covered (Mulvale & Hurley, 2016). Overwhelming the system with mental health cases will increase the cost of treating mental health. This will make it difficult for those seeking prescription drugs due to mental health problems or those being monitored by non-physician mental health provider services. One of the effects of marijuana use among teenagers is depression and anxiety which continues into adulthood. This will increase the mental health cases in the country making health care expensive for the system.

According to CDC (2017), one in six teens who use marijuana becomes addicted. This also increases the issues faced by the Canadian healthcare system like the lack of coverage of psychological services (Valeria, 2016). The other challenges facing the Canadian healthcare system include; limited access to healthcare, limitations in public coverage, and increasing wait times. The lack of coverage of psychological services affects teenagers who want to be treated for rehabilitation. Addiction of marijuana use among teenagers is high which requires the healthcare system to intervene in rehabilitation of this vulnerable population.

The healthcare system is also overwhelmed with cases of increased accidents due to impaired driving. Every year there is an increase in the number of motor vehicle crashes caused by impaired driving. Marijuana is the most widely used impairing drug in the world with most Canadians driving after using marijuana (Brubacher, 2017). The number of teenagers in these accidents is high considering Canada is one of the leading countries on marijuana use among teenagers. Marijuana works similarly to alcohol in impairing psychomotor skills that are required for safe driving. According to Brubacher (2017), those under the influence of marijuana are more likely to overtake and will crash more often.

Teenagers using marijuana are at a higher risk of respiratory diseases. The healthcare system is already overwhelmed with public coverage. An increase in the number of respiratory infections increases the limitations facing the Canadian health system. Respiratory illnesses are among the high cost illnesses in Canada. The costs include direct costs like hospitalization, drugs, physician care, and indirect costs like premature death and disability. Teenagers using marijuana are at a higher risk of respiratory diseases which will increase the cost of indirect and direct care.

Recommendations

Canada is one of the countries which have legalized the use of marijuana among adults. This should have worked in reducing the number of users in comparison to countries like Netherlands where the number of users is low even after the country legalized marijuana use. However, more needs to be done to protect teenagers against the adverse effects of marijuana use. One of the recommendations involves government policy which will impose stricter measures to curb selling of marijuana to teenagers (Christina & Richard, 2017). The government policies will also include prohibiting the sale of marijuana to those aged twenty-one and below, reducing the concentration of THC in marijuana making it possible for those aged 18-25 to purchase it legally, enforcing regulations in the marijuana industry which will availability and marketing of marijuana, and prohibiting ay advertisement of marijuana.

The government should be on the forefront in enacting laws to protect teenagers against the use of marijuana. There should be additional policies including labeling of the dangers of using marijuana. The packaging should be able to show all the dangers of using marijuana including the harmful effect of exposure of marijuana. This should be done similarly to the way cigarettes are packaged warning the users of the various dangers of cigarette smoking. Similar tobacco legislations should be extended to marijuana smoking. Some of the tobacco legislations include smoking in public places and in vehicles where the child is present. According to Christina & Richard (2017), marketing and promotional standards of marijuana should be regulated. [You use an ampersand in the citation. However,  when the authors are mentioned in the sentence, you must use "and" instead. Here is an example: Marco and Johnson (2014) reported that...] This will include promotional activities, sponsorship of events, and industry-related advertising. The regulations are done to deter teenagers and younger children from relating marijuana to normal activities.

Education is important in conveying the dangers of marijuana to teenagers. Teenagers should be taught the effect of marijuana on their cognitive and respiratory health. They should be able to understand the impact of smoking marijuana on their brain and respiratory health. This can be done as an educational program in schools or enacted as part of the lessons. This is done to protect the teenagers from the harmful use of marijuana. They should be able to understand all the dangers associated with smoking marijuana. Schools should enact ambassador programs where those supporting activities that will help teenagers to stop smoking marijuana are rewarded.

There is a lot of research which has been carried out on the impact of marijuana use on this vulnerable population. However, more needs to be done on prevention and treatment of marijuana abuse among teenagers and young children. There are those who begin smoking at a younger age or are exposed to the smoke through their guardians. The research should come up with more preventive and treatment measures for this vulnerable population. There is limited funding and research on mental health promotion among teenagers. Those using marijuana are impacted heavily when it comes to mental health.

Teenagers and young adults from indigenous communities are the most affected in Canada due to the problem of marijuana. This population is more vulnerable being indigenous and teenagers. They are affected by cultural factors and local conditions. Legislations should be passed to protect this vulnerable population against the impact of cultural factors. The indigenous communities should be consulted and involved in coming up with preventive measures meant to protect teenagers and young adults.

The healthcare system is also overwhelmed by the effect of teenage use of marijuana. Healthcare providers should screen young children and teenagers for marijuana exposure or use. They should be able to educate teenagers and their families on the health risks involved in using marijuana. Healthcare providers should be on the forefront in the fight against teenage use of marijuana proving guidance on marijuana use among teenagers and the families.

Conclusion

Marijuana consumption among teenagers is one of the biggest problems in the society. The effects of using marijuana among teenagers include reducing their cognitive functioning and are also linked to respiratory symptoms. Canada is one of the countries affected by the use of marijuana among teenagers with the country being ranked on top of other nations on marijuana use (Christina and Richard, 2017). [You use a piece of cited information here. The conclusion, however, should not have new information. I recommend using this piece of information elsewhere. For instance, the introduction can benefit from this background detail.] Marijuana use among teenagers affects the mental health of the teenagers and young children. The frequent use of marijuana among teenagers has a negative impact on the Canadian health system. The system is overwhelmed with increased numbers of teenagers being impacted negatively. The various recommendations to the problem include; education of the teenagers about the adverse effect of marijuana use, government regulations and policies on marijuana promotional and marketing standards, focus on teenagers from indigenous communities, and more research on prevention and treatment of marijuana use among teenagers. These recommendations are more likely to help in stopping the problem of marijuana among teenagers. Parents, teachers, or responsible adults should not overlook smoking marijuana by teens as a 'normal stage' that they will overgrow. The substance is highly addictive and can have long-term detrimental effects on their health hence action to mitigate abuse of marijuana should start now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

References

Arseneault, L., Cannon, M., Poulton, R., Murray, R., Caspi, A., & Moffitt, T. E. (2016). Cannabis use in adolescence and risk for adult psychosis: longitudinal prospective study. BMJ (Clinical research ed.), 325(7374), 1212–1213. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.325.7374.1212

Boyd Carol., Sean E, Rebecca J., Phillip T. (2021). Cannabis, Vaping, and Respiratory Symptoms in a probability sample of U.S. Youth. Journal of Adolescent Health. V. 69 Issue 1 Pg 149-152.

Brubacher Jeffrey R.. (Aug, 2017). Cannabis and Motor Vehicle crashes.  BCMJ,  vol. 53, No. 6,  Page 292 COHP. https://bcmj.org/cohp/cannabis-and-motor-vehicle-crashes

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2017). What You Need to Know About Marijuana Use in Teens. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/marijuana/factsheets/teens.htm

Christina N Grant, Richard E Bélanger. (1 May 2017). Cannabis and Canada’s children and youth, Paediatrics & Child Health, Volume 22, Issue 2, , Pages 98–102,  https://doi.org/10.1093/pch/pxx017

Elflein John. (2020), Drug use in Canada - Statistics & Facts. Statista. Retrieved from https://www.statista.com/topics/4533/drug-use-in-canada/#dossierKeyfigures

Kaliszewski, M. (2021). The Effect of Marijuana on Teenage Brain. https://americanaddictioncenters.org/marijuana-rehab/effects-of-marijuana-on-teenage-brain

Mokrysz, C., Freeman, T. P., Korkki, S., Griffiths, K., & Curran, H. V. (2016). Are adolescents more vulnerable to the harmful effects of cannabis than adults? A placebo-controlled study in human males. Translational psychiatry, 6(11), e961. https://doi.org/10.1038/tp.2016.225

Mulvale G, Hurley J. (Dec, 2016). Insurance coverage and the treatment of mental illness: effect on medication and provider use. J Ment Health Policy Econ.; 11(4):177-99. PMID: 19096092.

Rustem Mustafaoglu, Ebru Kaya,Mutlu, Rengin Demir, Ozhan Yalcin, Arzu Ciftci, Caner Mutlu, Arzu Razak Ozdincler. (2017). Effect of Cannabis Smoking on Lung Function and Respiratory Symptoms in Adolescents European Respiratory Journal Sep 2017, 50 (suppl 61) PA3707; DOI: 10.1183/1393003.congress-2017.PA3707

Scott, JC, Slomiak ST, Jones JD, Rosen AFG, Moore TM, Gur RC. (2018). Association of Cannabis With Cognitive Functioning in Adolescents and Young Adults: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. JAMA Psychiatry. 2018;75(6):585–595. doi:10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2018.0335

Valeria Marina Valle. (2016). An Assessment of Canada’s Healthcare System Weighing Achievements and Challenges Norteamérica, Volume 11, Issue 2. https://doi.org/10.20999/nam.2016.b008 .

Worley J. (2019). Teenagers and Cannabis Use: Why It's a Problem and What Can Be Done About It. J Psychosoc Nurs Ment Health Serv. 1;57(3):11-15. doi: 10.3928/02793695-20190218-03. PMID: 30835796.