help with part B

Firstly, sorry but  no headings  in your essay. Rather, you need to make the structure obvious by writing strong topic sentences at the top of each paragraph. 

For example, can you do a bit more signposting in your essay to make the structure more obvious for your reader? For example, in your intro specifically list the issues for Pepsi you will talk about, in the order you will talk about them. Tell your reader what they can expect to see in the rest of your essay: 

* Pepsi had X main issues when they entered the UAE. The first was ... the second was ...

* In this essay I will analyse these problems by looking at cultural differences between Pepsi's home culture and that of the UAE. First I will look at ... Finally I will ... 

Then, in your body paragraphs: 

* The first IHRM issue Pepsi had was ... 

In the body section of your essay you start paragraphs by talking about Hofestede's cultural dimensions. However the topic of your essay is IHRM issues Pepsi had when they entered the UAE. Stay close to your topic—Pepsi—by putting it first in your paragraphs. Talk about the actual issues Pepsi had first, then analyse those issues using Hofestede etc, then make recommendations. 

Hope that helps!