Part 2 Peer Review
Step 2: Due Date 2: July 21
After you submit your draft to this discussion board, you are going to give peer review feedback to at least 2 of your peers by the second due date. Since the purpose of this discussion board is for everyone to receive feedback, please first respond to people on the discussion board who do not yet have peer feedback. Part of your peer review grade includes carefully selecting classmates with very little feedback, so that everyone gets feedback.
To respond to a peer, follow these steps:
· Open your peer’s draft by clicking on the file they attached (or the link)
· Open a separate Word document and respond to the following questions/prompts, typing your responses on the Word document. Your responses should be detailed and in complete sentences. You should number your responses 1-7, but you do not need to include the questions/prompts in your response. Be sure to save your work as you go.
· After you have finished responding to the questions below, save your responses and then click “reply” to your peer’s discussion board. Attach your peer review feedback as a Microsoft Word doc or docx file.
Peer review questions for Text 1 - the longer, persuasive written text. Here, your classmate may have written a web-article, Op-Ed, Letter to the Editor, etc.
· Based on what you have read in Text 1, who do you think is the specific audience for this extended written text? Is this the same audience that your peer mentioned when they described the rhetorical situation of Text 1?
· If you and your peer identified the same audience, comment on several specific part(s) of this text that let you know who the specific audience is.
· Or, if you are unsure of the audience or if you do not think that Text 1 effectively reaches the audience your peer identified, include a comment that states this and then explain your comment. Where/Why are you confused? How might your peer more effectively reach this particular audience? Remember to help your classmate understand what could be made better.
· What is the specific persuasive stance taken by this text? How do you know? What specific part(s) of this text let you know the specific stance? What do you think of the evidence/examples given in the text to support that stance--are they convincing and well-reasoned? Here, reference the specific part(s) of the text that make the persuasive stance clear. Or, if you are unsure of the stance, include a comment that states this and then explain your confusion/uncertainty. Where do you think it would make sense for your peer to specifically state their stance?
· Does this text use multiple sources to advocate a particular stance? If so, comment on an area where the author uses outside sources particularly well and explain what works well. If not, identify an area where a) sources could be integrated into the source or b) where they could be integrated better.
· Does this text include citations for their research in genre-appropriate ways, such as in-text citations or hyperlinks? If so, comment on how effective these are for the particular audience and persuasive stance. Be specific and identify particular parts of the text. If not, identify some areas where a hyperlink or other citation might be an effective addition.
· Peer review questions for Text 2. Here, your classmate may have created an infographic, written a poem, created a video, etc.
· Based on what you have read in Text 2, who do you think is the specific audience for this text? Is this the same audience that your peer mentioned when they described the rhetorical situation of Text 2?
· If you and your peer identified the same audience, comment on several specific part(s) of this text that let you know who the specific audience is.
· Or, if you are unsure of the audience or if you do not think that Text 2 effectively reaches the audience your peer identified, include a comment that states this and then explain your comment. Where/Why are you confused? How might your peer more effectively reach this particular audience? Remember to help your classmate understand what could be made better.
· What is the specific genre of Text 2 and how well did Text 2 stick to expectations for this genre? Here, you might comment on the visual appearance, the word choice and/or level of formality, and/or the organization of Text 2 and whether or not these aspects make sense for the particular genre of Text 2.
· What is the specific purpose of Text 2? (To inform, educate, persuade, entertain, move to action, something else). Is this the same purpose that your peer mentioned when they described the rhetorical situation of Text 2?
· If you and your peer identified the same purpose, comment on several specific part(s) of this text that let you know what the specific purpose is.
· Or, if you are unsure of the purpose or if you do not think that Text 2 effectively achieves the purpose your peer identified, include a comment that states this and then explain your comment. Where/Why are you confused? How might your peer more effectively achieve this particular purpose? Remember to help your classmate understand what could be made better.
· Now, comment on the specific connection between purpose and audience in Text 2. Is the text effective at achieving its specific purpose for its intended audience? If so, why do you think that is? What are some areas that shine? If this text could be improved (better aimed at its audience or more effective at achieving its purpose), what are some suggestions you have for your peer? Remember, be specific so you can help your classmate understand what could be made better.
Perr 1 Draft
ENC 1102 Week 5.2 Text 1: Letter to Executive Board
Brief explanation of the rhetorical situation for each text:
My research topic is What are some ways that social media is helpful and harmful to the LGBTQ Community? For my text 1, the audience for the letter is specific to the Executive Board members at universities. There is a possibility that other people could read the letter, like the staff at the counseling center or a student group that partners with Board members to approve things. The genre is the formal letter to the Executive Board of universities. The purpose of the letter is to ask permission for my resource brochure to be available at specific on campus sites. It is meant to be persuasive in its effect.
July 19, 2022
To The Executive Board of Universities,
It is my pleasure to discuss an inspirational idea to your Executive Board members that I
feel will bring your university more financial gain by increasing your student population,
retention of current students, better recruitment of highly qualified employees, and decreasing
the mental health concerns of the campus population as well as decreasing the average rate of 1
in 4 LGBTQ+ people attempting suicide.
Young people seeking a college degree and the most creative, intellectual staff who are
researching a university to join are interested in an open-minded campus that is empathic to their
needs. Being “mental health” and LGBTQ+ friendly will help you attract and retain individuals
who share a similar mindset. I have created an informative brochure with easily accessible
resources for your Board members to review. Some of the resources in the brochure include: The
new crisis number, dial 988, which directly takes callers to the suicide and crisis lifeline center;
The Trevor Project; GLAD; The It Gets Better Project; The imi guide; PFLAG. The
brochure will also include a link to GLAAD’s Social Media Safety Index, which warns people
about certain dangerous things on social media like Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, and others. For
those supporters and individuals interested in advocating to stop hate speech, people can join
#iamhere, which is an organization that uses counterspeech to lessen discriminatory comments
on Social Media platforms, especially Facebook.
Upon acceptance of my brochure, it would be most beneficial to consider distributing it
throughout the residence housing units, the bookstore, the campus cafeteria and exercise
facilities, the counseling & health centers, and have them available for distribution during
campus tours and employment opportunities. Thank you for your commitment to the well-being
of your students, staff, and the LGBTQ+ Community. I look forward to partnering with you to
provide essential resources that will impact the lives of the campus population.
Sincerely,
Kathryn Mapp
FIU Student
Text 2 will be uploaded
My research topic is What are some ways that social media is helpful and harmful to the LGBTQ Community? For my text 2, the genre is a resource Brochure, the audience will be all enrolled university students as well as students thinking of enrolling at the school, university staff and possibly their families, people doing campus tours, the Executive Board of the university. The purpose of the brochure is to give people easy access to important resources that can help with mental health issues, save lives, and help supporters of the LGBTQ+ Community.
Peer 2 Draft
Why is it so expensive? The American healthcare system has long been criticized for its exorbitant healthcare costs, unsatisfactory service, and privatized healthcare plans. The dysfunction of this system has shown itself in countless patient and healthcare professional experience. From overworked employees to debt ridden patients, the flawed healthcare system of the United States has affected the lives of half a million families (Links to an external site.) that have declared bankruptcy each year because of medically related debt.
The inefficiencies of the U.S healthcare system range from administrative failures, high health expenditures, and the fundamental fee for service system. The fee-for-service payment (P4P) system compensates physicians and hospitals primarily on the number of services they provide rather than the appropriateness or level of results they deliver.
A solution to this system could be to explore with new models in local areas and measure their efficiency. The P4P scheme is known regarded as model that does not favor improved care as well as healthcare rankings and results, with “many of the current fee-for-service system's flaws highlighted by the pandemic” (Harrison). Implementing a value-based care system perhaps would reduce healthcare costs while increasing the quality of care in the United States. This model has been gaining traction on a global level. With the implementation of the Affordable Care Act (ACA), U.S healthcare systems like Medicare and Medicaid often function more efficiently. However, the hectic and complicated system has not scored as highly in healthcare quality as its western counterparts, even after ranking highest in healthcare expenditures.
All this ties back to the complexities of the healthcare system in the United States. When examples are shown to people of countries with Universal Healthcare (UHC) they are left perplexed. The private insurance structure and the complicated monthly fee diagrams leave 35% of American adults avoiding medical care because of the cost (Commonwealth Fund) and 66% of bankruptcies tied to medical related debt (American Journal of Public Health).
Improved healthcare implementation measures must be taken by health officials, government policy makers, physicians, administrators, and more to see a change in our current system. Exploring the use of new models to achieve better outcomes at lower costs is of upmost importance.
Explanation:
For my first text I have written a short article that ties together all the research we have done regarding our research topic. I used my sources to cite statistical points that show the impact of the flawed healthcare system in America. I also provided background information for the reader to understand the basics of the American healthcare model. My article shows that there is a solution, but cooperation is needed between all members of the healthcare system. I used a fair number of logos tied with instances of pathos to cement how the system fails and affects millions of people. This text serves as a precursor to my second text which is a sheet of healthcare plans. I will use this to show the reader how difficult the privatized healthcare insurance market really is.
Text 2:
Explanation:
I have used a brochure to detail the staggering facts of the failures of the U.S healthcare system. This brochure works in tandem with my first text as it helps solidify the explanation I gave. The audience health officials, government policy makers, physicians, and administrators. The group of people needed to incite change into our complex and inefficient healthcare system.