Order 1594799: Read Instructions

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Student Feedback Form- Compare & Contrast Essay

Name:

Essay Title: Old telephones vs. modern smartphones

General Essay Evaluation

Thesis Statement

☒ Needs improvement

☐ Good

Comments :

· The last part of the thesis is unclear

Essay & Body Paragraph Structure

☒ Needs improvement

☐ Good

Body paragraph 1: Storage

Topic sentence: Good

Wrap-sentence: Good

Body paragraph 2: Apps

Topic sentence: Good

Wrap-sentence: Good

Body paragraph 3: Plans

Topic sentence: Good

Wrap-sentence: Good

Body paragraph 4: Internet

Topic sentence: Good

Wrap-sentence: Good

Body paragraph 5: Uses

Topic sentence: Good

Wrap-sentence: Missing the controlling idea

Body paragraph 6: Communication

Topic sentence: Good

Wrap-sentence: Good

Body paragraph 7: Mobile line

Topic sentence: Good

Wrap-sentence: Missing the controlling idea

Conclusion

☒ Needs improvement

☐ Good

Comments :

· You did not mention ALL the points of comparison in the conclusion

APA Formatting

☒ Needs improvement

☐ Good

Comments :

· Missing the correct header

· Missing the title on the front page

Language Use

☒ Needs improvement

☐ Good

Comments:

· See highlights in yellow for grammar corrections to make

Mechanics

☒ Needs improvement

☐ Good

Comments:

· See highlights in yellow for corrections

Use of Sources Evaluation: Reliability/Citation

Did the student use 3 sources?

☐ Needs improvement

☒ Good

Are there at least 3 in-text citations, one from each source?

☐ Needs improvement

☒ Good

Is the References page formatted correctly?

☒ Needs improvement

☐ Good

Comments :

· Use hanging indent

Are all sources reliable, relevant and appropriate?

☒ Needs improvement

☐ Good

Comments:

· Berenguer et. Al (2017) is NOT relevant- it talks about seniors using cell phones- You should choose sources that are directly related to your topic. This source IS NOT directly related to it.

·

Are all sources correctly paraphrased or directly quoted (no plagiarism)?

☒ Needs improvement

☒ Good

Comments :

· The information cited for Berenguer et al. (2017) is common knowledge and does not need to be cited because everyone knows it. Please find a better source and another citation that is necessary, NOT common knowledge.

Are in-text citations in the correct format?

☒ Needs improvement

☐ Good

Comments :

· There are several sources cited that have multiple authors but you only cited ONE author- please check PURDUE OWL for the correct way to cite multiple authors

Draft A Grade Estimate:

See the highlighted box for the estimated grade range for each of the areas in your essay. The estimate will help you know which areas you need to improve before the final grade.

Grading Criteria

VERY GOOD - EXCELLENT

AVERAGE -GOOD

POOR - FAIR

VERY POOR

Content/Development (out of 30%):

27-30%

22-26%

17-21%

13-16%

Organization/Essay Structure (out of 30%):

27-30%

22-26%

17-21%

13-16%

Grammar/Language Use (out of 15%):

13-15%

10-12%

7-9%

0-6%

Formatting (out of 15%):

13-15%

10-12%

7-9%

0-6%

Mechanics (out of 10%):

8-10%

5-7%

2-4%

0-2%

Overall Grade =

Total % points X 1.5 = _____/150 points