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I’m comfortable being there, but I don’t like being there. I have nothing to relate to. Other than the fact that I’m gay, everything else about me is different. Everything about me doesn’t fit it. I just don’t relate. I don’t feel safe to be different.

Nam, a 25-year-old Vietnamese Asian American community activist, 1.5 generation2

Before being “gay,” I was very proud of my Pilipino heritage. I showed this by the way I’d dress, the jewelry I’d wear. When I first started going to West Hollywood, not that I was denying my Pinoy identity, but I was not as showy with it. I didn’t wear any trinkets or anything that showed my (racial) identity. I wanted to fit in.

Rommel, a 22-year-old Pilipino Asian American community activist, second generation3

Paralleling ethnic enclaves, queer enclaves have become increasingly visible in America’s urban landscape. In recent years, some vibrant urban neigh- borhoods, such as the Castro District in San Francisco and West Hollywood (WeHo) in Los Angeles, have been established as distinctly queer places. Much in the same manner that ethnic enclaves such as “Chinatown,” “Little Tokyo,” “Manilatown,” and “Little Saigon,” defy the classical notion of a singular American culture, queer places shatter the myth of a universal sexuality (Reyes, 1996). Indeed, these places have become “home” to queer

CHAPTER 17 Searching for Home:

Voices of Gay Asian American Youth in West Hollywood1

Mark Tristan Ng

Asian American Youth : Culture, Identity and Ethnicity, edited by Jennifer Lee, and Min Zhou, Routledge, 2004. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/usflibrary-ebooks/detail.action?docID=182869. Created from usflibrary-ebooks on 2019-01-09 09:38:43.

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Americans. On any given evening, a visitor to any of the hotspots in West Hollywood, such as the Abbey Coffeehouse or Rage Dance Club, will inevitably witness the increase in racial minority men, particularly young Asian American men. The visibility of Asian American gay men, coupled with the emergence of Asian-themed dance clubs (such as Buddha Lounge and Red Dragon) and the growing demand for gay Asian males in personal ads, have perpetuated the myth that West Hollywood is now a “safe space” free of racialization and marginalization pervasive in the larger society.

Is the changing demographic scene of West Hollywood a sign of a community in transformation? Is the “blue-blond-and-buff ” paradigm finally reshifting to be more inclusive of the “other”? By virtue of their sexuality, do gay Asian Americans inherently have a space free of racial constraints within West Hollywood? The general assumption that any gay man, regardless of race, would feel safe, comfortable, and at home in a place like West Hollywood may be elusive. I argue that particular physical sites for gay men are important markers upon which social and power rela- tionships are reproduced and that the sense of belonging and community varies by race, even within identifiable queer places.

This chapter examines the issue of “searching for home” among gay Asian American youth. More specifically, it focuses on the social spaces of interaction within West Hollywood and on how these physical sites have become the playground, meeting ground, training ground, and battle- ground for individuals who identify themselves as gay and strive to establish safe havens for themselves. This chapter considers how gay Asian Ameri- cans negotiate identity, confront racialization, and contest marginalization in the complex process of community building. By listening to the voices of the youth though intensive face-to-face interviews, it is possible to crit- ically examine the underlying dialogue and power relationships at two major places of the gay culture — dance clubs and personal ads. With a nonintrusive eye, we can therefore observe gay male interactions and cultural politics at Asian-themed dance clubs. In addition, we analyze the contents of personal advertisements published in gay magazines and West Holly- wood’s local community newspapers.

GRAPPLING WITH THE COMPARTMENTALIZED SELF

Gay Asian American youth often find themselves leading double lives—the racial versus the sexual. Many live in silence and secrecy, and often find them- selves in situations where they are forced to compromise the multiplicity of their identities. Their invisibility and compartmentalized self raise pressing issues. How are queers recognized in Asian American contexts? How are Asian Americans recognized in queer contexts? Must multiple identities be dichotomized into the racial and the sexual, or can they be realized in full

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harmony with each other? The Asian American does not want to face the queer within himself, and the queer does not want to face the colored within himself. Thus, gay Asian Americans confront the difficulty of affirming a seemingly contradictory identity that has been negated, or simply exists in a space of absence. Such confrontation in this realm of the “borderlands” inevitably begs the question of allegiance (Anzaldua, 1987).

Am I Asian American?

The myth of Asian Americans as a homogeneous and heterosexual (even asexual) “model minority” since the 1960s has worked against the varied nature of sex and gender. Diversity in sexuality is irrelevant or ignored (Leong, 1996). As the “model minority,” Asian Americans are expected to conform to and practice the norms and values upheld in mainstream American culture: individualism, self-reliance, hard work, delayed gratifi- cation, and discipline, as well as heterosexuality and the married-couple family. In a sense, the model minority myth prescribes a compulsory hetero- sexuality that does not recognize Asian Americans in any other sexual context except straight. So what now of the queens, the bull dykes, the baklas, the tomboys, the fist-fuckers, the transvestites, and the queers who are undoubtedly Asian American? Invisibility.

Am I Queer?

Within the broader queer community in the United States, racial and ethnic identities are presumed to be subordinated to sexuality and are thus rendered inconsequential, as is evident in most North American studies on sexuality and gender that have largely excluded racial minorities and same-sex sexuality in their analyses and discussions. As a result, the racial/ethnic “other” is reproduced within the context of the sexual “other.” Asian Americans who are gender nonconformists are only partially accepted in the broader queer community as tokens of inclusion and remain largely invisible (Leong, 1996). So what now of the Pilipino, the Chinese, the Viet- namese, the Hmong, the Korean, the Japanese, and the Samoans who are undoubtedly queer? Silenced.

Many of the informants interviewed for this study express frustration, difficulty, and strain in attempting to grapple with the compartmental- ized self, acknowledging that it is often a question of choosing one or the other. If they choose to root themselves in an Asian American context, they are expected to be straight. If they choose to locate themselves in a gay environment, they are expected to “act white.” For instance, Jason, a 24-year-old, 1.5-generation, Pilipino American banker succinctly reflects on this point:

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Being a gay Asian is hard. West Hollywood itself is very white- oriented and it’s not really welcoming to Asian crowds. But I’d rather go there than to Legend or 21XL parties [straight Asian clubs] because I ain’t even trying to be straight. I don’t know . . . it’s just hard.4

Again, the question remains. Who are gay Asian Americans? Where do they belong? As Eric Reyes (1996: 87) proposes, “[C]onsider which you really want — rice queen fantasies at your bookstore or freedom rings at the checkout stand outside your local Asian market?” Finding the correct answer to either question is nearly impossible unless one learns how to recontex- tualize the frames of references and how to readjust the lenses through which one has been socialized to view and deal with “complexities.” Norma- tive socialization has taught Asian American youth to view every aspect of human experiences in a linear way along a bipolar spectrum — that one can only be either male or female, gay or straight . . . Asian or queer. This linear thinking freezes categories and leaves no room to deal with outer boundaries and borderlands. In reality, Asian Americans have to constantly contextualize and negotiate their multiple identities. As Nam puts it: “I think you can look at comfortability from two different aspects. In terms of my gay identity, I do feel comfortable in West Hollywood. But if we take it in terms of my Asian identity, I don’t think I’d ever go to West Holly- wood.”5

DRAGONS AND LANTERNS AND LIGHTS: OH MY!

The emergence of Asian-themed dance clubs, such as Buddha Lounge and Red Dragon, is a recent phenomenon in West Hollywood’s gay enclave. Buddha Lounge is the only Asian-themed club located on the West Holly- wood Strip, and its prime location enhances its popularity. Red Dragon stands as the largest gay Asian-themed dance club in the United States. The dance club provides thousands of gay Asian men, and their admirers, an “alternative” location to party outside of the main West Hollywood strip. Many Asian American gay men flock to Buddha Lounge every Thursday night and to Red Dragon every second Saturday of the month to party, network, and escape the confines of “straight” reality. For many Asian American gay men, the mere existence of these Asian-themed clubs affirms the formation of a genuine space called “home.” As Jason remarks:

I feel more comfortable in Asian clubs. Maybe because I fit in more or something. I don’t feel like I stand out there. When I would go to the Abbey [an Anglo dance club] I would have fun and every-

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thing, but I always felt like I stood out. People looked at me like I didn’t belong there.6

Ray, an 18-year-old first-generation Chinese American student echoes Jason’s sentiment: “Yeah, I didn’t really feel comfortable around a big group of white people bumpin’ into me with no rhythm. I’m much more comfort- able here [an Asian dance club] with my brothers.”7

Asian-themed dance clubs are popular among gay Asian American youth, and they undoubtedly serve as a comfortable place where Asian Ameri- cans feel “normal” and “like everyone else” rather than like a stranger or outsider. However, the question remains, do they foster a sense of commu- nity? Before tackling this question, one needs to ask for whom these clubs exist — for Asian Americans in particular, gay men in general, or for some other purpose? Much in the same manner in which thriving ethnic busi- nesses in Chinatowns, Little Tokyos, and Little Saigons make the ethnic enclaves novelties or exotic lands within mainstream society and popular culture, similar dynamics occur in the establishment of Asian-themed dance clubs in the context of the larger gay community. Although white Americans may exoticize vibrant ethnic enclaves as a place to frequent for fun and entertainment, they remain marginal to the mainstream society, even though they constitute an inseparable part of American life. Thus, going “there” while remaining “here” is not so much melting as sustaining identifiable boundaries. Within the larger context of West Hollywood, one finds pockets of “color,” ethnic-theming that can superficially be translated into the creation of more inclusive “safe spaces” within an increasingly “color-blind” community.

One must, however, be mindful of the broader social and power dynamics of the white hegemony that gets reproduced and played out within these pocket places that are seemingly homey. Ray, who feels comfortable hanging out with Asian brothers at the Asian-themed club, is also critical of these clubs:

I think it’s far from being a true safe space for us. It’s just more of a presence. Club promoters want to start new Asian clubs because they’re doing so well right now. But even with these places, it’s not really a sign of our integration into WeHo. Even Buddha Lounge is not really indicative of any major change in the greater gay community . . . it’s more of an extension of it.8

Ray points to a fundamental difference between a physical space in which Asian Americans can hang out with ease, comfort, and anonymity and a social space in which they can identify as home and feel a sense of belonging.

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West Hollywood’s Asian-themed dance clubs are mostly owned by non- Asians, and owners intentionally ethnicize their clubs as exotic lands with an eye on profit making rather than on community building for gay Asian Americans. The popularity of Asian-themed clubs reflects a long-standing invention and exploitation of Orientalism for the fetishization and enjoy- ment of the largely gay white community. According to Edward Said (1995: 87), the Orient is “almost a European invention, and has been since antiq- uity a place of romance, exotic beings, haunting memories and landscapes, remarkable experiences.” Said argues that the Oriental has become one of the most recurring images of the Other and has helped to define Europe (or the West) in the sense that it sets up a contrasting frame of reference — image, idea, personality, and experience — against which cultural and value judgments are to be made. In other words, Orientalism gives European culture its strength and identity by setting itself off against the Oriental Other. Because it is European culture that has managed and produced the political, social, and ideological nature of “the Orient,” Orientalism has become a Western hegemony that dominates, restructures, and controls the entire region of the Orient.

In applying Said’s theory of Orientalism, the rise of Asian-themed dance clubs can be seen as the modern materialization of Orientalism in that they give gay white America a hegemonic frame of reference based on the conception of “the Other” while reaping monetary benefits from exploiting exoticized Oriental objects. For the “rice queens” (white men who have an exoticized preference for Asian men) who frequent these clubs, the space was created for their enjoyment (Manalansan, 1994). Gay white men frequent Asian-themed clubs to seek out their exotic objects of desire, which effectively reaffirms the privilege of whiteness and reproduces the hegemonic race relations between whites and the other, namely, racial minorities. Many of the respondents concur with this sentiment, as Nam comments:

Buddha Lounge is run by a Latino guy who has a preference for Asians. So therefore, it’s decked out in “Oriental” garb: rice lanterns, Buddhas, red tassels, fake jade amulets, and red lights. Red lights seem to be a very popular thing as far as what they consider “Oriental.” This guy [the manager] probably has not the slightest clue as to what the whole Asian American community is about . . . just what he sees at a Chinese restaurant.9

Rio, a 20-year-old first-generation Pilipino American artist adds: “The promoters of these clubs are not Asian American. I see their website and they’re totally exploiting Asians. They reinforce this whole Asian passive- submissive thing. I wish more clubs exist where Asians are really in control.”10

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Asian-themed dance clubs serve as important sites of gay culture and as relatively comfortable places for gay Asian American youth to hang out, have fun, and socialize with one another. Yet they are just little more than modern materializations of Orientalism. Hence, these sites are not safe “spaces” for the gay Asian American community. Rather, they are exoti- cized playgrounds where gay white men can realize their Orientalized fantasies. Even within the general gay enclave in West Hollywood, gay Asian American youth are often aware of their treatment as outsiders. For instance, Frank, a 22-year-old second-generation Korean American dancer, recalled a time when a group of his friends (who happen to be Asian) were walking on the streets of West Hollywood. They ran into a group of young white men who just stared at them and sneered out loud, “Look at those Asians.” Rio also recalled a certain time period in the late 1990s when Asian Amer- icans were not welcome in certain dance and sex clubs in West Hollywood because they were considered “just not as popular [as whites].”

PERSONAL ADVERTISEMENTS IN THE ECONOMY OF DESIRE: THE DOMINANT VERSUS THE SUBMISSIVE

Parallel to the club scene, personal ads in gay magazines and local news- papers are other important sites within gay culture that transcend geographical boundaries. They offer a unique place where gay Americans are able to claim both a hidden and an openly gay identity. Despite the stereotypical perception of personal ads as nothing more than a place for the “single and desperate,” these sites allow gay men to depart from the more “traditional” ways of meeting other males and to indirectly dialogue with each other about the gay culture and same-sex desire. Personal ads are places of fantasy—places where the relegation of same-sex desire as deviant, abnormal, and taboo is negated and its inverse affirmed.

The economy of desire and the articulation of pleasure mirror the estab- lished racial hierarchy of the mainstream society. Because gay white males control the value and currency of this economy, they occupy the domi- nant and privileged position as the active agents determining and dictating who and what is desirable, how much value there is in an object, and how to pursue that desire. This reality sets up an economy of the gay culture where the sexual identity of Asian males is strongly informed by the white sexual identity and is subordinated to white sexual needs. According to the informants, the only role that gay Asian American men are expected to play in this economy is the stereotypical role of the submissive, exotic, and passive commodified sexual being, much like the way Asian women are depicted in mainstream society. Frank and Ray’s comments shed some light on this point. As Frank remarks: “In any picture of an Asian man, the only thing you’ll see is his butt. Even the Asian go-go dancers are expected

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to show off their butts. We’re perceived as bottoms, as submissive . . . that’s what they want us to be.”10 Ray adds:

Asian men are viewed as asexual, submissive . . . not quite as “manly” as White, Black, and Latino men are seen. A lot of the stereotypes projected onto Asian women in straight society are projected to Asian men in gay society. There’s definitely a lot of preconceived notions of what and who you’re supposed to be.12

A close content analysis of personal ads reveals evidence of racialization and marginalization of gay Asian American men. Two popular gay maga- zines are Edge Magazine and Frontiers Newsmagazine.13 In both, an overwhelming number of ads in the personal ads section are generally placed by those desperately seeking gay Asian males (GAMs) or simply “any Asians.” The examples selected here are from two categories: those seeking GAMs and those placed by GAMs. The following are selective ads placed by those seeking GAMs:

For Asians! Very good looking German escort 24 blonde/blue 5′11″ 150#, nice smooth chest, friendly playful personality. Jason. Beverly Hills. In/Out

R*U*VIETNAMESE If so, I am offering $40 sale on a full body massage! White 26 yo & very cute. M−F 4pm out. Call Rob

*FOR ASIAN MEN* Sensual W/M 6′ 170# w/deep blue eyes gives erotic rub

FREE MASSAGE FOR ASIAN GWM 38 offers free full body massage for a slim Asian 18–32. I’m kind, gentle and discreet & HIV−. No strings attached! Just be nice and clean. Lay back and enjoy!

I LUV JAPANESE/AMERICAN (mixed heritage guys). U are in shape to 35, romantic, masculine but playful, cuddly, not moody! I’m 46, Tall bear type, brd, gut, GDLK. Very oral. Luv to give/get massage, spontaneous lovemaking

ASIANS ONLY! HOT WHITE GUY IN s. Bay. 25 brn/blu grt bod.

FOR ASIANS ONLY 47 wm 150 HOT VGL Asian 25−38 for fun and more and romance. Me 6′1″, hairy chest, grn eyes, 195 lbs, good shape professional

FOR ASIANS very goodlooking masseur, 24, blonde/blue 5′11″, table and fine oils

*ALL ASIANS* WM 30 5′8″ 160# friendly, sexy & nude!

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By browsing through these selective ads, one can see the general demand for GAMs. Bold headings such as “FOR ASIANS!” “*FOR ASIAN MEN*,” “ASIANS ONLY!” “*ALL ASIANS*” may be viewed as indicators of a growing appreciation, and perhaps acceptance, of the gay Asian American man in the larger gay community. Rommel reflects on the sudden popu- larity of Asian men:

As of lately, there has been an increasing and overwhelming desire for Asians. I don’t know, it’s like a trend . . . like a hot thing. I look Latino. Recently, this guy found out that I was Pilipino. All of a sudden, I became like a new commodity or something. It got to the point when this guy said, “Oh my gosh, you’re Pilipino. All this time I thought you were Mexican. If I knew you were Pilipino, I would’ve been on you since day one.”14

Not every gay Asian man is in demand, only those who fit the stereo- types. The very fact that these ads do not specify any personal characteristics or prerequisites, except for being “Asian,” signal a type of epidermal fetishism affecting the Asian American community in both heterosexual and gay contexts. Epidermal fetishism is defined as “exaggerated love or even worship of skin color,” a process in which the skin color takes on sexual properties that do not naturally inhere in it (Wolfenstein, 1993: 161). It is a situation in which a person is initially stimulated by skin color and by the various values projected upon it rather than by actions or primary sexual charac- teristics. What characteristics and sexual properties do gay white males (GWMs) and other non-Asians associate with the term Asian? Examining a few more ads placed by those seeking GAMs reveals some clues:

SEEKING HOT ASIAN BOY gdlk GWM 5 –11 160#, 40 yo slim, honest, caring, ISO Asian boys under 30 for fun times. Must be cute, slim, sexy, affectionate, HIV−, in-shape bottom.

SEEKING ASIAN PLAYMATE GWM 39 5′10″, 185 cute, seeks GAM for kissing, cuddling, massage and creative safe sex. You be 18–35, HIV- with good body + sense of humor. No drugs or s+m. I’m eager to get my hands on you.

ASIAN SONS, NEED DAD-BUDDY? Mature heavy GWM 6′ brn/blu dad type seeks asian sons under 35 for dates, dining and affection. Please be honest, enjoy kissing and touching and have good sense of humor. Small, sweet and shy area +++

ISO VERY SISSY bottom. Looking to meet very fem bottoms for hot, no strings pounding. I especially adore cross dressers, Asians and Latins. Your place only.

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REAL DAD SEEKS SON/LOVER I’m 5′10″ 145# avg lks very attrac- tive/ambitious + into longevity and life regression. You 30s slim/smooth body Asian/Hispanic short and cute.

SEEKING ASIAN in panties. Mixed Black male, handsome, light skinned, 6′, 32, works out, professionally educated, seeks exotic, attrac- tive Asian who is tall and intelligent. I want to grind you while you wear your panties. I want to cum on you while you wear a thong.

HOT BLACK TOP needs Asian. Smooth exotic Asian underneath hot Black top. 32 year old mixed Black male, handsome 6′, 180 lbs, seeks gorgeous, smooth Asian for friendship and fun. Please be intelligent, down to earth, sensitive, work out and interesting.

BRAT SEEKS ASIAN Black top, handsome, 32, 6′, 180 lbs, intelligent, professional, works out, seeks smooth, muscled bottom, Asian, in East LA area. I want to fuck your bubbling thighs.

Even though this set of ads is still under the heading of those placed in search of GAMs, it differs from the first set in that the ads specify partic- ular roles and characteristics demanded from the GAMs. Those in search of GAMs expect them to be exotic “boys,” “playmates,” “sons,” “sissies,” and “bottoms.” The very language of these personal ads clearly signals the expected role of gay Asian American men to be the passive and submissive partner within these desired sexual relationships. Specifically, the ads placed in search of “boys,” “sons,” and “sissies” deny the identity of gay Asian Americans as anything but Men, subordinating GAMs to the inferior posi- tion and to the unknowing and inexperienced objects to be taught and trained by true Men. When asked about this whole “daddy-son” phenom- enon, Frank comments, “Asian men don’t really get picked up on by these young Caucasian men. The men who are attracted to us are older Caucasian guys.15 And Rommel adds, “They’re [young Caucasian men] not attracted to me because I don’t look boyish.16

Apparently, the demand side of the economy of desire is dictated by GWMs distorting the sexual and gender identities of GAMs for their own benefits. The supply side — responses on the part of GAMs — simultane- ously reproduces the dominant/submissive relationship, and consequently reinforces the system of domination in the gay culture. Understanding the context and values of the economy of desire, many GAMs respond to the market demand on precisely what is expected of them, as revealed in the following personal ads placed by GAMs:

EXOTIC ASIAN MALE attractive boyish GAM w/smooth & sensual body 21 y/o 5′4″ 115 iso handsome, fit, romantic GWM under 39 for friendship and more.

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SWEET CHARMING ASIAN BABY that holds snuggly in your arms. 24 5′7″ 120, slender/fit with cute boyish look. I prefer guys under 32. Butch, stable, fit muscular with all the manly stuff.

NEW IN TOWN ASIAN STUDENT 26 5′11″ 155#, in shape. ISO GWM under 35, attractive, horny, patient. Tell me how to be a bottom. I’ll do anything for you. PS- all American boy next door look A+.

ASIAN BOTTOM 22y 5′6″ 130 29w dark hr/eyes nice bod w/round silky smooth buns.

HANDSOME ASIAN SEEKS GWM I’m 28, 5′7″, 135 lbs, good build, no facial hair. I want to meet GWM 20−40, dark hair muscular, mascu- line for loving and caring relationships, romance, dinner, movies.

MASTER WANTED Novice Asian slave 5′10″ 160# yng lkg 40s ISO GWM Master to learn lite BD SM whip dungeon dog slavery. Ontario Mills area

SPICE THAI Full body massage from cute Asian college student, 24 yo, 5′8″, 130#, nice and friendly. 1 hr. $60.

JAPANESE BOY Hot Japanese 5′11″ 140# 29 w 7″ 24 yr, swimmers body gives Deep Tissue full body massage in the nude.

CUTE FILIPINO DEAF MALE Me: Filipino, 24 yr old friendly seeks American 24–26 White guy. Bodybuilder top, clean shaved, haircut, must be health friendly, no drug, no alcoholic, no smoke, HIV−. Enjoy good time together.

In an economy of desire, individuals “sell” themselves according to the values of the market. Recognizing that there is a preestablished market for the context of their desire, gay Asian American men “advertise” themselves accordingly in order to enhance their market value and, in a sense, maximize profit. Judging from the bold headlines of the ads, gay Asian American men “sell” themselves, according to particular market demands, as “exotic,”“sweet charming baby,” “boys,” “bottoms,” and “novice Asian slaves.” Most of these ads are placed in the category of in search of GWMs. Here, there is some indication that some Asian males conform to the norms expected of them and to the gay culture where white male sexuality provides the direction in which sexual fantasies are created. It is through these personal ads that the economy of desire within the gay community is verbalized and transacted.

CONFRONTING HEGEMONY

For gay Asian Americans, West Hollywood is a place where they feel rela- tively comfortable. But such a place is by no means equal to the social space

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to which they feel they belong because the gay enclave is not created by and for the gay Asian American community, nor is it color-blind. Many informants recognize the dominance of the enclave’s Eurocentric nature. For example, when asked what a “typical” person in West Hollywood looks like, almost all of the informants visualize someone “tall, blond, and buff.” However, when asked to describe this “culture,” respondents have difficulty specifying it. However, Rommel’s characterization provides a glimpse of it:

West Hollywood is very white. I don’t know how you can explain acting white. It’s a very (long pause) . . . there’s no culture, not to say that white is not a culture. In East L.A. you can see a lot of Cholos, there’s a strong sense of cultural identity. But in WeHo there is no culture. It’s not a culture, but it is a culture in itself.17

Because West Hollywood was established in a white Euro-American gay male context, certain stereotypically preestablished roles and hegemonic relationships are transferred to these created places. As Almaguer (1993: 263) succinctly points out, “White men provided the foundation upon which they could boldly carve out the new gay identity. Their collective position in the social structure empowered them with unique skills and talents needed to create new gay institutions, communities, and a unique sexual subculture.” Although gay men do not have the power within the system of social relationships to be homophobic, it is within their full capacity to hold racist beliefs and attitudes. Consequently, the dominance of white gay males has ideologically made its way into the many facets that comprise the larger gay culture, community, and practice.

One significant influence of this racial hegemony is evident in the inter- nalization of marginality in GAMs as shown in the ads and cited responses of GAMs to the market demand. At times, some GAMs feel just-matter- of-factly, as Jason explains:

I think I fit that whole mold. I’m not aggressive. I’m passive, femi- nine, and submissive, in a way. But I’m not doing it because I’m just conforming, but I just fit into this mold. It doesn’t bother me, but it just sucks. No, there’s no pressure. But sometimes I think I do it unconsciously so I kind of fit in, to conform myself . . . but I don’t feel the pressure to do it.18

Rommel adds:

A lot of my friends conform to these views, but they are not pres- sured to. I’ve seen people that will conform to being a bottom for someone they care about. On the whole, Asians really are bottoms to begin with.19

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While Jason and Rommel deny the invasive and transformative power of racial stereotypes and domination, both choose the word “conform” and are extremely uncomfortable admitting that conformity is inevitably accompanied by pressure. Both stress the fact that GAMs feel no external pressure to conform. The inability to readily acknowledge the pressure appears to be a coping strategy on the part of GAMs to avoid the reality that they are forced into a mold and its consequences. However, almost all of the informants report feeling frustration and embarrassment when they see a fellow GAM openly conforming to the stereotypical roles. As Rio states: “I get mad when I see Asians reinforce this stereotype. Why do they have to act like that? I just want to go up to them and say, ‘Do you know what you’re doing?’ ”20

GAMs also suffer from a sense of false consciousness, “a systematically distorted understanding of and resistance to corrective learning experi- ence, i.e., from everyday activity” (Wolfenstein, 1993: 2). Consequently, some of the GAMs are buying into these racially hierarchical power rela- tions without question and resistance. Moreover, some gay racial minority men are also affected by this racial hegemony, seeking out GAMs in personal ads in similar ways as GWMs. This is a parallel occurrence to what bell hooks calls “a slave’s idea of freedom,” that is, the slave whose perception of the ideal free lifestyle is based on the master’s way of life (hooks 1981: 156). By illustration, Jason remarks:

When I think of West Hollywood, I think of white people, yeah. But there are also Asians, Blacks, Latinos who are just like them. It’s not just the white people but also a lot of Asians that have this white attitude. But its not just whites . . . it’s just a West Holly- wood thing.21

Rommel echoes Jason’s opinion: “There’s no real race predominant in WeHo, but there’s a racial attitude. Even if they’re Latino, Pilipino, or Black they have this . . . not to stereotype, but they are very (long pause) Caucasian. They act white.”22

That kind of false consciousness also hinges on the “assimilation” of racial minorities to the GWM-dominated culture of West Hollywood. Because this skewed perspective has become somewhat standard and institutionalized in West Hollywood, the top-down power relation that valorizes the power and privilege of the gay white man stands firm. Consequently, the GWM standard relegates all racial minorities, espe- cially Asian Americans, to the marginalized position of the “other” and impedes the true empowerment of the gay Asian American community. Perhaps the most devastating outcome of the racial hegemony is the resulting indifference, as revealed in the following interviews:

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In terms of expressing my sexuality, it [West Hollywood] is a safe place for me. In terms of me being Asian, it’s okay . . . not too bad.23

Even though West Hollywood is not totally safe for gay Asian Amer- icans, I’m just glad it’s there.24

It’s [Red Dragon] a club, that’s what a club is . . . it plays on fantasies. It’s not making a political statement. It’s not trying to say, “Hey look! All Asian Americans have dragons and Chinese characters tattooed all over their bodies. Clubs aren’t meant to be realistic. It’s a club. A club is a club.25

Regardless of the indifference, more and more racial minority mem- bers —African Americans, Latino Americans, and Asian Americans — are seeking out this unique gay enclave and have started to proactively make this place their own. Meanwhile, the numerical dominance of gay white men is beginning to dwindle. Whether this is due to a greater openness and inclu- siveness of mainstream gay culture, the increased socioeconomic status of racial minorities, better marketing strategies of West Hollywood’s entertain- ment businesses, or simply the demographic shift in the metropolitan areas that has brought out the coming-of-age generation of racial minority gay men are questions for future research. But this growing trend signals a need for racial minority gay men to redefine a culture and identity that is both more inclusive and more empowering. As Calvin, a 21-year-old, third- generation Chinese American activist points out:

There’s definitely a lot more representation of Asian American men in WeHo now than some years ago. Also, more and more are coming out at an earlier age. I think it’s great that there are more Asian American men in WeHo. It gives more people greater aware- ness of the Asian American culture.26

CONCLUSION

This chapter attempts to provide a better understanding of the subjective experiences of gay Asian American male youth in West Hollywood through the interrogation and deconstruction of the place as home. West Holly- wood has been considered a safe “place” for gay white men, but this study raises the question of whether such a “space” exists for gay Asian Ameri- cans. Through an in-depth analysis of the club scene and personal ads, face-to-face interviews, and participant observation, the study investigates the ways in which gay Asian American youth deal with the complex processes of confrontation, contestation, and negotiation in their continual search

282 • Mark Tristan Ng

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for the space called home. The findings reveal that a space for the gay Asian American community is far from being established, even though West Hollywood is a relatively safe place for GAMs.

As Reyes (1996: 253) puts it, “[B]y becoming visible, place can be estab- lished, but this physical place, discursively or physically ghettoized through an academic discipline or neighborhood, is not enough. For as marginal- ized individuals whether on the basis of ethnicity or sexuality (or otherwise), we understand how we can be here in this place, but not here in this space.” This definition of “space” provides a theoretical alternative that allows researchers to move away from the general tendency of conceptualizing “space” as a basis for analysis, as opposed to “place,” a mapped location. Although a separate and exclusive space may not necessarily be what the gay Asian American community should struggle to achieve, community building based on common lived experience is a necessary first step. Only by creating their own space will they be free from the racial hegemony of the gay white male culture.

Notes 1. West Hollywood is a municipality located within the city of Los Angeles and an identifiable

gay community. The research on which this study is based occurred primarily on this site. I conducted my face-to-face interviews with a snow-ball sample of seven Asian American gay men aged 19–25 and participant observation at dance clubs and restaurants during the months of September to December 1998. Pseudonyms are used throughout the chapter to ensure anonymity.

2. Face-to-face interview with Nam. 3. Face-to-face interview with Rommel. 4. Face-to-face interview with Jason. 5. Face-to-face interview with Nam. 6. Face-to-face interview with Jason. 7. Face-to-face interview with Ray. 8. Face-to-face interview with Ray. 9. Face-to-face interview with Nam.

10. Face-to-face interview with Rio. 11. Face-to-face interview with Frank. 12. Face-to-face interview with Ray. 13. All the examples are selected from Edge Magazine 389 (June 10), 1998 and Frontiers News-

magazine 17 (3), 1998. 14. Face-to-face interview with Rommel. 15. Face-to-face interview with Frank. 16. Face-to-face interview with Rommel. 17. Face-to-face interview with Rommel. 18. Face-to-face interview with Jason. 19. Face-to-face interview with Rommel. 20. Face-to-face interview with Rio. 21. Face-to-face interview with Jason. 22. Face-to-face interview with Rommel. 23. Face-to-face interview with Frank. 24. Face-to-face interview with Calvin. 25. Face-to-face interview with Ray. 26. Face-to-face interview with Calvin.

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