Rough Draft Peer Review of 2 Students Analysis Essay (150 words)
Rough Draft Peer Review of 2 Students Rhetorical Analysis Essay (Be respect and understand their Rhetorical Analysis Essay)
Min Chul (Steve) Kim
English 100
Professor Anna Morrison
22 October 2017
Media’s effect on Women
Advancement in technology has allowed everyone in the world to be connected with one another. People around the world now have easy access to information previously not easily obtained. For example, in early 1900s, to be up to date with the news, people would have to wait for the newspaper or their news station to broadcast the news. With the web connecting everyone and making information easily obtainable, people are now able to see news after seconds of it being published. People no longer have to wait for the 8’o clock news. Prior to the technological advancements, status was an important part of who received the newest news. For a long time, men, especially white men, were seen as superior human beings. Women were treated as men’s servants. With the rise of the web and the media, the world started becoming more and more progressive. Women and people of color were beginning to rise in status. The media, however, still stands by the conservative views and tries to manipulate the society to stay the same. Jennifer Newsom directed this documentary to show what the media is doing and that people need to stand up for what is right. Newsom uses the media itself, interviews of professionals, and statistics to authenticate the reality of how mainstream media continues to slow down progression towards gender equality.
Every woman portrayed by the media seems perfect in men’s eyes. Advertisers spend billions of dollars every year to portray their models as “the ideal woman.” Photoshop is used to spread unrealistic body goals in order to get women to spend more money on cosmetics. The media and the advertisers set the ideal body image through the use of similar body shape models (Durham). This enforces the idea that women are never beautiful enough. What looks to be an empowering idea is actually an idea that forces women to conform. Many female roles, even female leads, often revolve around men. Although the number of female leads in movies have risen, they are still objectified for the male viewers. The media forces girls to focus on their looks rather than their intelligence. The media forces girls to give up their power by making them feel powerless. The documentary shows clips of objectification of women in high power. Rather than asking Sarah Palin a question regarding politics, the news host asked her whether or not she had a boob job.
The treatment of women and how they are portrayed by the media seems bad from the outsider’s perspective. The interviews by people in the industry show that they’re worse than it looks. Newsom discusses how it was extremely hard for her to find a complex role and that she had to lie about her age and academic achievement to seem less intimidating. Margaret Cho talks about how she was constantly told that she was too fat and how the comments spiraled her down to developing an eating disorder. Daphne Zuniga also talks about how the producers told her to get “a little Botox or collagen or something.” Jane Fonda mentions the hypersexualization of women in the media and how it affects all the females, especially young girls. Durham also mentions that a lot of powerful women, who have not obtained their power through the use of their sexuality, are not represented in the media. This forces the younger generation with a more malleable brain to learn that it is extremely hard for women to be in power. All these encounters of actresses and professionals show that the media is revolving around men and their standards of beauty. Recently, many actresses have spoken out against Harvey Weinstein. In 2005, singer and actress Courtney Love spoke out against Harvey Weinstein, only to be eternally banned by the Creative Arts Agency. Harvey Weinstein used his status and power to sexually harass and rape actresses. Harvey Weinstein has been taking advantage of his status for a long time, but the media only now acknowledged his wrongdoings.
Newsom uses statistics to support the arguments throughout the documentary. In order to show how the media affects the younger generation, Newsom stated that American teenagers spend almost eleven hours a day consuming the media. Because teenagers spend so much of their time consuming the media, much of their learning comes from the media. Advertisers spend over $236 billion in order to take advantage of the taught insecurity of the younger generations. When the media bombards women with the idea that they are not beautiful enough, it results in an increase in rates of depression and increase in women developing eating disorders. It is extremely scary to know how much control the media has over the society and how the media is using people’s faults for their own benefits and profits. Newsom states that women make up only 17% of Congress and have not made any further gains since 2010. Since the media does not represent women as powerful, but rather as objects, the number of women in power, especially in government, is lacking.
Jennifer Newsom utilized scenes from the media, professionals, and statistics to show that although it may seem like the society has become more progressive, there is still a long way to go to fully reshape the way society views women and to achieve true gender equality. As Alice Walker has said, “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.” If the media does not portray women correctly, the younger generation will grow up to think that women don’t deserve to be in a position of power. Women are constantly getting taken advantage of because of the way women are still being portrayed. If people sit by and act as a bystander, nothing will be changed. Until when will our mothers and daughters continue to be treated without respect?
Evaluate the essay in question by answering the questions that follow.
1. I like this because: (be specific)
1. Is there a clearly stated thesis in the introductory paragraph?
2. Do all the supporting paragraphs back up the thesis?
Your comments:
Base 2: Support
1. Is there specific evidence?
2. Is there plenty of it?
Your comments:
Base 3: Coherence
1. Is there a clear method of organization? (List of items or a time order?)
2. Are transitions used to connect sentences and ideas?
Your comments:
Base 4: Sentence Skills
1. Are there any rough spots where the sentences do not flow smoothly and clearly?
2. Are there any mistakes in grammar, punctuation, or usage?
Your comments:
Any other comments:
Feel free to quote a small portion (1-3 sentences) of the student’s post and comment on that. It is also a good idea to ask your fellow students questions to lead to further communication on the discussion boards. Peer reviews of at least two other students' rough drafts should be approximately 150 words each.
Natasha Rueda
Prof. Anna C. Morrison
English 100
22 October 2017
Media Turning Women’s Image to the Worse
Media has brought a lot of negatively into young girls and all women’s lives. In the Miss Representation, we are shown how the media has been influencing the society into believing that females should look a certain way, females aren’t powerful human beings, and are inferior to men.
In today’s world we have the media influences us how one should look and most of the time it’s directed towards females. Now-in-days women are no longer satisfied with their appearance because they see other women looking “better” than them in the media. Therefore, females do all kinds of things to make their bodies more attractive and acceptable. However, there are those who suffer by the hands of the media. In the film of Miss Representation, we have teen girls and women open about their negative experiences they or their love one’s go through by the hands of the media and their statements of a women’s image by their publishing. According to the Miss Representation, “53% of 13-year-old girls and 78% by age 17 are unhappy with their bodies, 65% of women and girls have an eating disorder, 17% of teens engage in cutting and self-injurious behavior.” For example, a high school student name Maria talks about how her younger sister cuts herself because she gets bullied by others for not having a perfect body. There’s another high school student name Alexis who stated, “I have close friends that in between break periods would go to the bathroom and put ten pounds of make-up and comb their hair and do all this pampering when we are at school to learn.” Additionally, the audience learns about Jennifer Newsom story in where she looses her older sister to an accident leading her to blame herself, lose herself to the media standards, and develop an eating disorder. This tells the audience that the media has affected young girls to worry more about their looks than their education and that they begin to lose themselves.
Secondly, as the media continues to control the minds of the female population with what’s acceptable or not with their body it results for females to lose their self-worth and they no longer see themselves as human begins. When females change their appearance to please men, they are no longer seen as a human being by a man but rather a sexual object. Jean Kilbourne has specified, “Not only are girls seen as objects by other people, they learn to see themselves as objects.” As a result females don’t consider themselves as anything but objects that are there for others. It is stated in Miss Representation that even female journalist from the News are being objectified or sexualized. These female journalists are seen wearing low cut shirts, skirts, or dresses with lots of make-up on leading for them to give what the people want and not what they (females) want.
Lastly, as long as we have lived it was always known that women are to be “inferior” to men. Men have always hold the powerful positions in all types of businesses and women seem to be beneath them with rare times them being equal to men. In movies women are seem be the type of protagonist who is trying to win a guy over or is the damsel-in-distress. In Miss Representation, high school student Ilian states, “Women are the protagonist in a drama who is trying to get a guy to fall in love with her and never about her fighting a battle. It’s not like the guy in Star Trek who is finding his destiny and being powerful. And the sad thing is that we no longer question why a female can’t be a protagonist and be powerful.” According to in Miss Representation, “Only 16% of protagonist in films are women.” Additionally, there are male T.V. hosts or journalist compare fellow female companions to an Hooter waitress or to a call girl meaning that these men don’t have an ounce of respect for any female. Overall, this means that women can never empower men and men will continue to dominant over women.
The Miss Representation is teaching us that the media is intoxicating the society with belief that women should looks one way or else they aren’t perfect. Therefore, women go through great lengths to change the “errors” that they think are within their body and don’t stop to think that they are also damaging themselves. During the film there are statements that women don’t belong in high level positions in any type of business as they aren’t capable of handling that type of job or are empowering over men. This leads to why we hardly see women in charge because men are scared that they have a powerful woman have much authorization over them and do what it takes to not have this become a reality. Moreover, if we really listen to the stories of the negative experiences all kinds of women have live through because of the media in the film of Miss Representation than we can learn to not live in world in where we let the media control our lives. Women will finally be able to get people to see them for who they really are and not continue to live through the expectations of others. Additionally, this film is teaching us that it doesn’t matter who we are, we are all equal and nobody is above anybody. Looks don’t matter because we are all created in a unique way and we shouldn’t try to change into one specific way than we wouldn’t be our unique selves.
Evaluate the essay in question by answering the questions that follow.
1. I like this because: (be specific)
Base 1: Unity
3. Is there a clearly stated thesis in the introductory paragraph?
4. Do all the supporting paragraphs back up the thesis?
Your comments:
Base 2: Support
3. Is there specific evidence?
4. Is there plenty of it?
Your comments:
Base 3: Coherence
3. Is there a clear method of organization? (List of items or a time order?)
4. Are transitions used to connect sentences and ideas?
Your comments:
Base 4: Sentence Skills
3. Are there any rough spots where the sentences do not flow smoothly and clearly?
4. Are there any mistakes in grammar, punctuation, or usage?
Your comments:
Any other comments:
Feel free to quote a small portion (1-3 sentences) of the student’s post and comment on that. It is also a good idea to ask your fellow students questions to lead to further communication on the discussion boards. Peer reviews of at least two other students' rough drafts should be approximately 150 words each.