MUL2380 ESSAY HELP

Rough Draft Essay by Damaris Mesa

Submission date: 26-Feb-2020 10:24PM (UTC-0500) Submission ID: 1264997594 File name: MUL2380_ESSAY.docx (16.5K) Word count: 1019 Character count: 4870

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Black board titles

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1% SIMILARITY INDEX

1% INTERNET SOURCES

0% PUBLICATIONS

1% STUDENT PAPERS

1 1%

Exclude quotes On

Exclude bibliography On

Exclude matches < 4 words

Rough Draft Essay ORIGINALITY REPORT

PRIMARY SOURCES

Submitted to Adelaide High School Student Paper

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FINAL GRADE

20/20 Rough Draft Essay GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

PAGE 1

Comment 1

Please make sure that you double space and use MLA format.

Comment 2

When you rewrite this to submit for the final draft, please make sure that you are using MLA format. If you are confused about what that is, look it up and figure out what you need to do. If you have a pc or mac, you can download Office, which will allow you to see the correct format for MLA or any other system.

Missing "," You may need to place a comma after this word.

indent

indent!

Comment 3

world."

Comment 4

to

Comment 5

was

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Comment 6

in the

Comment 7

much

Comment 8

music. He

Comment 9

rule. There was bullying

Comment 10

made a song about..

Strikethrough.

Run-on This sentence may be a run-on sentence. Proofread it to see if it contains too many independent clauses or contains independent clauses that have been combined without conjunctions or punctuation. Look at the "Writer's Handbook" for advice about correcting run-on sentences.

Black board titles see Blackboard paper on punctuating titles

Comment 12

confused. You

Comment 13

questions about

Comment 14

Once again,

Comment 15

One of Jackson's top 10 songs was "Black and White".

indent

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Missing "," Missing comma: Though it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can often help to prevent a misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your reader to place a comma after that introductory element. Such phrases will often begin with words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the following example: "While everyone was fighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be confusing.

Missing "," Missing comma: Though it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can often help to prevent a misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your reader to place a comma after that introductory element. Such phrases will often begin with words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the following example: "While everyone was fighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be confusing.

Comment 16

color, were

Missing "," Missing comma: Though it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can often help to prevent a misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your reader to place a comma after that introductory element. Such phrases will often begin with words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the following example: "While everyone was fighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be confusing.

Comment 17

born. In

Strikethrough.

Comment 19

songs. In

Missing "," Missing comma: Though it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can often help to prevent a misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that is

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logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your reader to place a comma after that introductory element. Such phrases will often begin with words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the following example: "While everyone was fighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be confusing.

Article Error You may need to use an article before this word.

Strikethrough.

Run-on This sentence may be a run-on sentence. Proofread it to see if it contains too many independent clauses or contains independent clauses that have been combined without conjunctions or punctuation. Look at the "Writer's Handbook" for advice about correcting run-on sentences.

PAGE 2

Comment 21

were

Missing "," Missing comma: Though it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can often help to prevent a misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your reader to place a comma after that introductory element. Such phrases will often begin with words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the following example: "While everyone was fighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be confusing.

Comment 22

wanted

Comment 23

had

Pronoun This pronoun may be incorrect.

Comment 24

wanted

Strikethrough.

Comment 26

please reformat this

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please reformat this

Comment 27

he

Run-on This sentence may be a run-on sentence. Proofread it to see if it contains too many independent clauses or contains independent clauses that have been combined without conjunctions or punctuation. Look at the "Writer's Handbook" for advice about correcting run-on sentences.

Strikethrough.

Strikethrough.

Comment 30

Pop".

Comment 31

as the

Comment 32

eyes, he

Comment 33

is still

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indent

Comment 34

beats. He took the time

Missing "," Missing comma: Though it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can often help to prevent a misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your reader to place a comma after that introductory element. Such phrases will often begin with words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the following example: "While everyone was fighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be confusing.

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Comment 35

became famous

Strikethrough.

Missing "," You may need to place a comma after this word.

Comment 37

White".

Strikethrough.

Run-on This sentence may be a run-on sentence. Proofread it to see if it contains too many independent clauses or contains independent clauses that have been combined without conjunctions or punctuation. Look at the "Writer's Handbook" for advice about correcting run-on sentences.

Comment 39

with. That

Missing "," Missing comma: Though it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can often help to prevent a misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your reader to place a comma after that introductory element. Such phrases will often begin with words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the following example: "While everyone was fighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be confusing.

Missing "," Missing comma: Though it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can often help to prevent a misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your reader to place a comma after that introductory element. Such phrases will often begin with words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the following example: "While everyone was fighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be confusing.

Proofread This part of the sentence contains a grammatical error or misspelled word that makes your meaning unclear.

Pronoun This pronoun may be incorrect.

S/V This subject and verb may not agree. Proofread the sentence to make sure the subject agrees with the verb.

Comment 40

You haven't said anything about his dancing, the fact that he was the first African American to get on MTV, etc. You are missing a lot of stuff. Please add some material about his music, not just the lyrics.

Run-on This sentence may be a run-on sentence. Proofread it to see if it contains too many independent clauses or contains independent clauses that have been combined without conjunctions or punctuation. Look at the "Writer's Handbook" for advice about correcting run-on sentences.

RUBRIC: CCSS 11TH-12TH GRADE INFORMATIVE

FOCUS (16%)

EXCEPTIONAL (5)

SKILLED (4)

PROFICIENT (3)

DEVELOPING (2)

INADEQUATE (1)

DEVELOPMENT (16%)

EXCEPTIONAL (5)

SKILLED (4)

PROFICIENT (3)

DEVELOPING (2)

INADEQUATE (1)

AUDIENCE (16%)

EXCEPTIONAL (5)

0 / 5

0 / 5

The text focuses on a topic to inform a reader with ideas, concepts, and information that creates a unified whole.

The text clearly focuses on a compelling topic that informs the reader with ideas, concepts, and information that creates a unified whole.

The text focuses on an interesting topic that informs the reader with ideas, concepts, and information that creates a unified whole.

The text has a topic that informs the reader with ideas, concepts, and information that creates a unified whole.

The text has an unclear topic with some ideas, concepts, and information.

The text has an unidentifiable topic with minimal ideas, concepts, and information.

0 / 5

The text presents facts, extended definitions, concrete details, quotations, and examples. The text provides a conclusion that supports the topic and examines its implications and significance.

The text provides significant and relevant facts, extended definitions, concrete details, quotations and/or examples that thoroughly develop and explain the topic. The text provides an engaging conclusion that supports the topic and examines its implications and significance.

The text provides relevant facts, extended definitions, concrete details, quotations, and/or examples that sufficiently develop and explain the topic. The text provides a competent conclusion that supports the topic and examines its implications and significance.

The text provides facts, extended definitions, concrete details, quotations, and/or examples that develop the topic. The text provides a conclusion that supports the topic and examines its implications and significance.

The text provides facts, definitions, details, quotations, and/or examples that attempt to develop and explain the topic. The text may provide a conclusion that supports the topic.

The text contains limited facts and examples related to the topic. The text may or may not provide a conclusion.

0 / 5

The text anticipates the audience's background knowledge of the topic. The text includes formatting, graphics, and/or multimedia when useful to aiding comprehension.

The text consistently addresses the audience's knowledge level and concerns about the topic. The text includes effective formatting, graphics, and/or multimedia that enhance comprehension.

SKILLED (4)

PROFICIENT (3)

DEVELOPING (2)

INADEQUATE (1)

COHESION (16%)

EXCEPTIONAL (5)

SKILLED (4)

PROFICIENT (3)

DEVELOPING (2)

INADEQUATE (1)

LANG & STYLE (16%)

EXCEPTIONAL (5)

SKILLED (4)

PROFICIENT (3)

DEVELOPING

The text anticipates the audience's knowledge level and concerns about the topic. The text includes appropriate formatting, graphics, and/or multimedia that strengthen comprehension.

The text considers the audience's knowledge level about the topic. The text includes formatting, graphics, and/or multimedia when useful to aiding comprehension.

The text illustrates an inconsistent awareness of the audience's knowledge level about the topic. The text may include some formatting, graphics, and/or multimedia that may be distracting or irrelevant.

The text lacks an awareness of the audience's knowledge level about the topic. The text includes limited or inaccurate formatting, graphics, and/or multimedia that impedes comprehension.

0 / 5

The text explains the relationship between ideas and concepts. The text includes appropriate and varied transitions and syntax.

The text strategically uses words, phrases, and clauses to link the major sections of text. The text explains the relationships between the topic and the examples and/or facts.

The text skillfully uses words, phrases, and clauses to link the major sections of the text. The text identifies the relationship between the topic and the examples and/or facts.

The text uses words, phrases, and clauses to link the major sections of the text. The text connects the topic and the examples and/or facts.

The text contains limited words, phrases, and clauses to link the major sections of the text. The text attempts to connect the topic and the examples and /or facts.

The text contains few, if any, words, phrases, and clauses to link the major sections of the text. The text does not connect the topic and the examples and/or facts.

0 / 5

The text presents a formal style and objective tone and uses language, vocabulary, and techniques such as metaphor, simile, and analogy to manage the topic.

The text presents an engaging, formal, and objective tone. The text uses sophisticated language, vocabulary, and techniques such as metaphor, simile, and analogy to manage the complexity of the topic.

The text presents a formal, objective tone. The text uses precise language, vocabulary, and techniques such as metaphor, simile, and analogy to manage the complexity of the topic.

The text presents a formal, objective tone. The text uses relevant language, vocabulary, and techniques such as metaphor, simile, and analogy to manage the complexity of the topic.

The text illustrates a limited awareness of formal tone The text attempts to use language,

(2)

INADEQUATE (1)

CONVENTIONS (16%)

EXCEPTIONAL (5)

SKILLED (4)

PROFICIENT (3)

DEVELOPING (2)

INADEQUATE (1)

vocabulary, and some techniques such as metaphor, simile, and analogy.

The text illustrates a limited or inconsistent tone. The text uses imprecise language, vocabulary, and limited techniques.

0 / 5

The text demonstrates standard English conventions of usage and mechanics while attending to the norms of the discipline in which they are writing (MLA, APA, etc.).

The text intentionally uses standard English conventions of usage and mechanics while specifically attending to the norms of the discipline in which they are writing (MLA, APA, etc.).

The text demonstrates standard English conventions of usage and mechanics while suitably attending to the norms of the discipline in which they are writing (MLA, APA, etc.).

The text demonstrates standard English conventions of usage and mechanics while attending to the norms of the discipline in which they are writing (MLA, APA, etc.).

The text demonstrates some accuracy in standard English conventions of usage and mechanics.

The text contains multiple inaccuracies in Standard English conventions of usage and mechanics.