ISS 210 Society, the Individual, & Video Games (W4)

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PlayingasaWomanasaWomanasifaMan.pdf

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Playing as a Woman as a Woman as if a Man

Gabriela T. Richard New York University

82 Washington Square East, 6 th

Floor

New York, NY 10003

gabriela@nyu.edu

Introduction

It’s a chilly weekend day, the kind of day I love because I

can rationalize not doing anything I know I should be doing, like

going to the gym or running errands; instead, it’s the perfect day

to pop out of bed, run to the Xbox 360 and play one of my favorite

RPG 1 titles, or finally get to one of the single-player campaigns I

glossed over in favor of competitive multiplayer. While I am a

scholar during my work hours, I am also a female competitive

online gamer in a female-oriented clan during my leisurely

weekday hours where I spend time playing online team-oriented

competitive games. However, the weekends and, especially,

long holiday breaks, are reserved for lone immersion in

fantasylands, particularly those that allow me to play as my

personified self in relation to that world.

This pastime can be traced back to my childhood years

when I got my first Nintendo game system and spent countless

hours playing through, and replaying, Zelda II: the Adventure of

Link. I had figured out that if I spent hours running around in the

grass and fighting bits and bots, I could overpower my character

enough to take down most of the bosses with little effort.

However, it was later that I discovered the original Legend of

Zelda, and other fascinating RPGs, like Final Fantasy and

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Dragon Warrior, which extended my imagination, and within

which I could spend countless hours solving puzzles, talking to

non-playable characters and ultimately slaying enemies in order

to save the world… and the princess.

Saving the princess was always an interesting

conundrum for me: on the one hand, growing up with

feminist-leaning parents made me acutely aware of the

problematic stance this took on, but, on the other hand, classic

fantasy books, 1980s movies and other media almost made it

seem like the natural order of fantasy-themed fiction. While I

played my fair share of action adventure games, and later

competitive fighting games in arcades, it was always the

immersion of the RPG that encouraged my exploration and

creativity, and, ultimately, allowed me to transcend reality, in a

pleasurable way, at least for a little while. In the early days of

gaming, whether it was Dragon’s Lair in the arcade or Final

Fantasy at home, playing in a man’s narrative was an explicit part

of the experience, and playing a man’s narrative as a girl felt

revolutionary. Not only was I playing through as a girl, but I was

making it my own, and defying what others thought I should play,

or should be interested in. In essence, exceptionalism was my

symbolic defiance of static gender norms. And this sense of

defiance was generational: even though I was one of the only

girls I knew who played video games frequently and took

pleasure in invading boy’s spaces, like the arcade and the comic

book store, popular expression encouraged this sense of

tomboyish reclamation. In particular, the riot grrrl movement

was in full swing in the late-80s and early 90s, and it was

incredibly common to see women and girls finding empowerment

through the rejection of gender norms and the redefinition of

gender-based expression. I came to love the empowerment that

video games, particularly RPGs, gave me, and spending an

afternoon in an open world where I could express that

empowerment became part of my escape from the gendered

expectations constantly imposed upon me.

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These days, that escapism has been primarily reserved

for Bethesda 2 RPG titles, like Fallout 3, Fallout New Vegas or

Skyrim. For whatever reason, Bethesda has figured out how to

recapture the kind of giddy enthusiasm I once reserved for the

Christmas mornings of childhood. While I have never quite

figured out why journeying through an open wasteland or mythic

Nordic countryside has captured my imagination like no other,

Bethesda’s recent titles have managed to make me spend hours

tirelessly exploring, pursuing, and reflecting on who I am in

relation to the fantasy world, my character and my real life

presence, particularly through explicit and ambiguous moral

choices. Maybe this is also precisely why I sometimes feel my

fantasy bubble burst when I encounter the popular artifacts

around these games: after spending 200+ hours as Rogue, or

Myst, or Kitanya (the names I gave each of my characters in

Fallout 3, Fallout New Vegas and Skyrim, respectively)

journeying through the wasteland or the countryside with my

companions (who I carefully protected and made sure had the

appropriate amount of stimpacks or weapons), I would spiral

back into the real world when I looked at the back cover of my

game case, or experienced a game sequence that didn’t quite fit

my character, or looked up artwork online, or even walked into a

GameStop and saw the character I was supposed to be playing

in the way “he” was conceived by whatever powers that be. It is

during these moments that I become aware of my “womanness”

playing a story about a man as a woman.

Playing In the Backdrop of the Vault Dweller, the Courier and the Dragonborn

To be fair, most of the newer Bethesda RPG titles have

probably offered one of the most authentic experiences of playing

as the gender or race of your choice to date, when compared to

most games that let you vary those characteristics in your game

experience (which I will discuss in more depth later). Fallout 3

and Fallout New Vegas are set in a post-apocalyptic retro-future

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American world resulting from a nuclear holocaust that happened

in an alternate 2077. Even though Fallout 3 is a continuation of a

classic PC post-apocalyptic RPG, it stands out as an almost

complete reimagining of the original series, and can be thought of

as the first in a new series 3 . Both games have 1950s-era

architecture, design, nostalgia and anti-communist themes,

symbolizing references to A Boy and His Dog 4 and providing the

backdrop of an alternate futuristic world that branched off from

our actual US history circa 1950-60s. Within this world, you can

freely roam and explore, and you can choose most of your

characteristics down to the detail, including your sex,

race/ethnicity, eye color, skin color, hairstyle and color, as well as

your personality attributes.

Fallout 3 gives you the unique perspective of

experiencing your own birth in a vault 5 (and your mother’s

subsequent death during birth), going through your toddler years

(where you choose your S.P.E.C.I.A.L. attributes 6 from a child’s

book), and experiencing your childhood and teenage years, all

while bonding with your widowed, scientist father, and fellow vault

dwellers. Your early interactions with your father and fellow vault

dwellers, as well as being immersed in the first person

perspective and experience of your early years, helps to weave

you into the story of the person you will become and why (though

how you become morally good, evil or neutral in relation to this

narrative is up to you and your game choices). In essence, you

can make an equally skilled young or old, Black, White, Asian or

Hispanic, male or female character.

Fallout New Vegas allows for the same level of character

customization but without a significant back-story (and in many

ways allows you to assume you are continuing where the original

vault dweller of Fallout 3 left off). The game begins with you, a

mail courier, being shot in the head by a 1940s or 50s-era looking

gangster named Benny in the future Las Vegas Mojave

Wasteland desert. You are saved by a mysterious robot and

healed by a doctor, where you are able to reestablish your traits

(by assigning your S.P.E.C.I.A.L. attributes in his office). While

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you do not have early memories or attachments to non-playable

characters (NPCs) 7 to ground your morality, like in Fallout 3, it

works with the game’s focus on a less rigid ethical character

system (there are less clear cut “good” and “evil” characters and

an overall more ambiguous moral game play). Furthermore, the

game allows you to craft closer relationships with possible

companion characters that come into play later on.

In Skyrim, you can choose the gender and fantasy race

of your character (i.e., Wood Elf, Nord, Redguard, Argonian,

etc.). Some of these races actually correlate to modern racial

constructs: for example, if you play as a Nord, you will personify a

White Nordic character, which corresponds with the racial

background of the people of Skyrim, whereas if you choose to

play as a Redguard, you will look racially Black with an interesting

racial back-story. In fact, the game has a strong theme related

to race, and while you can also play as a Khajit (a beast race of

cats) or an Argonian (a beast race of reptiles), as well as elves,

playing as a character other than a Nord will often be met with

hostility by some Nord characters, as the game is set against the

backdrop of a xenophobic rebellion against an empire that has

seemingly sided with dark elves in order to reach a treaty.

Given its complexity, a discussion of race in Skyrim would be its

own essay. However, reflecting on themes of ethnocentrism,

racism, and xenophobia in the context of a fantasy world in

turmoil over attacking dragons and rebellions in and of itself

offered a fascinating reflection, and only furthered my

engagement within this complex open-world. In a similar vein as

Fallout 3 and New Vegas, you could create equally skilled

characters regardless of sex (and subsequent in-game gender

expression), though there were some variations by race 8 .

The narrative entry points of all three games, overall,

offer an open world, full of varying forms of conflict, and morality,

which aid in aligning the player to the game. Fallout 3, in

particular, draws the player into the narrative by aligning the

character with his or her family and friends within the backdrop of

the struggle in the post-apocalyptic world. Skyrim, in particular,

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draws you into the narrative through a dragon attack and an

ideological rebellion, which can be compelling in its moral

complexity. In this sense, all three games successfully

introduce playing as the gender and race of your choice in the

opening sequence. However, nuances in the ways encounters

are experienced by the sex you have chosen or the narrative

choices of developers create interesting fodder for determining

individual authenticity in the space.

Gendered Experience in an Open World Game: Sex, Love and Combat

Fallout 3 and its sequel, Fallout New Vegas, offer

interesting experiences that vary by gender. In Fallout 3, for

example, your choices do come with corresponding experiences

related to the gender of the character you created. For instance,

choosing to play as a female will get you called “Bitch!” by raiders

in combat, which is realistic to me as a woman playing a game

about a harsh post-apocalyptic world. However, glitches often

had the unfortunate effect of reminding you that you were playing

in an intended male narrative. For example, game glitches would

occasionally have your character referred to as a man (or

referred to as “he”) and one of my ending sequence animations

featured a male version of my character.

Three early relationships during Fallout 3’s game

narrative help to influence the kind of character you eventually

create: your father, a loving yet mysterious scientist whose

disappearance sets off your escape from the vault; Butch, a male

bully with whom your initial interactions help you understand the

consequences of moral in-game choices; and your female “best

friend” Amata, with whom there appears to be a bond bordering

on something more (though this never materializes, especially if

you play as woman). However, while Butch serves as a constant

potential physical threat in the vault, and Amata has to be

rescued from harassment by him and his friends, you don’t really

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have the chance to engage in meaningful romantic relationships

with the characters that define your early life. Moreover, while a

case can be made for male bullying of women, particularly

through sexual harassment, I often didn’t find the kind of physical

intimidation and rivalry Butch provided relatable to a female

experience. Furthermore, sex seems to almost have no role in

the game (which is a bit farfetched in a post-apocalyptic world in

a rated mature game, especially one so otherwise strongly tied

with A Boy and His Dog 9 ). The developers seem to have

chosen to drop sex mostly from the narrative (possibly to alleviate

complication involved in developing dual-gender play, or as a

deliberate attempt to avoid controversial subject matter), though

very early on in the first town you visit, you meet a female

prostitute named Nova, who you can choose to have paid sex

with, whether you play as female or male.

Interestingly, the developers do allow you the option of

taking on a unique perk called “Black Widow” if you play as a

female character in Fallout 3 or New Vegas, which allows you to

do additional damage to male opponents in combat and opens

unique dialogue choices with some key male NPCs (while it’s

optional to choose any perk, this perk’s strong leverage in game

play, and its early availability in the game almost makes it a

required perk to play with). While male characters have the

option of a “Lady Killer” perk (which is roughly the same as “Black

Widow” except allows these advantages over non-playable

female characters), there are fewer female foes one encounters

in combat in the game, and less key female NPCs to manipulate.

“Black Widow/Lady Killer” is the only perk that has strikingly

different effects depending on the gender you play as. For

example, in both Fallout 3 and New Vegas, the “Black Widow”

perk can be used as a means of manipulating male NPCs in

important or main story quests and consequently ending those

quests without as much complication. In Fallout 3, for example,

one of the first towns you visit is Megaton, which has the

possibility of being your home base. You are offered the

challenging “Power of the Atom” quest, where you can either

disarm the bomb that has never detonated in the center of the

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town, as requested by the town sheriff, or you can blow it up, as

requested by a mysterious man named Burke (on behalf of, you

eventually will learn, an evil character). If you choose to

detonate the bomb, it will result in a huge karma hit, the loss of

key NPCs, and an almost inevitable evil moral game experience.

If you choose not to detonate the bomb, you can still play as good

or evil, but you can retain the ability to have Megaton be your

home base. However, with the “Black Widow” perk, you can

convince Burke not to be concerned with the bomb, which

substantially alleviates quest hassles, including killing Burke or

dealing with pesky hit men who constantly attempt to kill you (if

you refuse detonating the bomb), having Burke involved in killing

the sheriff (if you report Burke), as well as several other complex

options that have a strong impact on the rest of your game play.

The “Black Widow” perk serves an even greater purpose

in Fallout New Vegas, where you have the option of seducing

Benny, a main character you are pursuing throughout your main

quest, in an attempt to find the crucial platinum chip, and discover

why you were left for dead by him at the beginning of the game.

Ultimately, many of the choices in obtaining the chip from Benny

involve additional hassle or additional time, like having the entire

casino he is affiliated with turn hostile against you (resulting in a

standoff with dozens of armed men, and the loss of several

potential side quests), or having to pursue him further in the

wasteland. However, the “Black Widow” perk gives you the

ability to not only seduce Benny in his private quarters, but quietly

remove him from the equation, saving you much time and hassle

on a main story quest, and also giving you the option of obtaining

some of key valuables, including the chip. Depending on how

you play the game, it can also significantly speed up the

completion of the main storyline.

While Fallout 3 mostly avoids experiences that involve

sex or love (beyond a few peripheral references), Fallout New

Vegas offers interesting narrative around sexuality and

relationships 10

. New Vegas offers you the opportunity to meet an

array of NPC companions, who all have their own set of perks,

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skills and even side quests (if you pursue them). While there

isn’t enough room to talk about all of the characters, their

corresponding abilities and storylines at length, Veronica, Cass

and Boone are three potential companions with whom you can

have incredibly interesting interactions. Veronica is a member of

the Brotherhood of Steel 11

, who is not completely sold on their

isolationist, xenophobic and technology-worshipping ways. In

some sense, her disillusionment may have started as a result of

her sexuality: she had a romantic relationship with another

female Brotherhood member (who appears in a later DLC 12

),

which was discouraged and subsequently severed, due to the

isolated Brotherhood’s insistence on procreation. Her lover left

the Brotherhood due to their narrow-minded ways, though

Veronica’s relationship becomes personal (at least for me) when

you meet her former lover in a later DLC. Cass is a brass and

sassy former-caravan owner and driver, who can be found in a

NCR 13

bar, drinking incessantly. If she becomes a companion,

she will openly express distaste for the misogynistic nature of

Caesar’s legion, a band of mostly evil slavers who attempt to take

over the Mojave wasteland. Cass gave my character comfort

during a difficult quest: Caesar’s Legion is downright hostile to

women, using them solely for sex slavery, yet, as a female

character, I am the only woman to freely walk in Legion territory

due to Caesar’s need for my potential assistance. Legion

soldiers make sure that I am aware I am a woman they would

freely and violently have their way with if not for Caesar’s orders,

and Cass’ companionship and witty commentary actually served

as solace as she accompanied me through an often difficult path

in meeting Caesar. Finally, Boone is a hardened yet sad former

NCR military sharp-shooter, who lost his wife to Caesar’s Legion

and a complex tragedy he is not willing to initially reveal. You

can spend a significant amount of time interacting with Boone,

eventually learning about his wife and healing his past wounds

related to her, and his actions during the war, but, once again,

companions are limited to combat-based companionship, even

while divulging their deepest secrets.

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Each of the NPCs offer you a glimpse into the complexity

of relationships in the post-apocalyptic world, even taking you on

incredibly intimate quests or storylines, but this level of familiarity

is shut down just as quickly as it’s introduced, which is a bit

disheartening. For the most part, once their key storyline or

quest is over, dialogue is limited, though they can continue to

fight by your side. Veronica’s story openly discusses an intimate

homosexual relationship, though exploring one yourself with her

seems off-limits, even playing as a woman. Of particular

frustration was the inability to talk to her lover about her in a later

DLC, even though I had developed close relationships with both

of them as companions. Cass’ witty assurance and banter

about handling her men, and her consoling presence during my

harrowing journey amongst slavers and rapists, made her seem

like a potential best friend. Furthermore, I appreciated her

dialogue, which echoed my resistance and provided depth to the

female experience in the wasteland, though beyond being a

fighting companion who occasionally asks for whiskey, she

doesn’t pursue a deeper friendship. And, even though you

spend a significant amount of time unraveling and healing Boone,

who has been widowed for quite a while, you are not offered the

ability to pursue anything more with him, whether it be a possible

romance, or a very close friendship.

In juxtaposition, however, you can have sexual exploits

out of gained admiration with women who admire and are grateful

for your assistance, but with whom you otherwise share no level

of close companionship, like the kind you fostered with those that

fought by your side and revealed their lives to you. Fallout New

Vegas features two possible NPCs that you can have sex with

after going on mini-quests for items they require. Red Lucy is a

strong, confident character who runs an underground fighting pit

called The Thorn, where people can bet on gladiator-like fights

featuring men and beasts from the wasteland. After finding

various beast eggs for her as part of a side-quest, she will give

you the honor of being her “hunter” and offer to sleep with you out

of admiration whenever you request. Sarah Weintraub, who runs

Vault 21 (now being used as a less expensive hotel on the New

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Vegas strip), will sleep with you if you gather enough vault

jumpsuits from nearby vaults for her giftshop and pass a speech

option. While both women are intriguing characters to a certain

extent, you never learn much about them, nor are you allowed to

develop a level of social intimacy, as with your companions.

New Vegas further expanded the perk options by

allowing males to have the “Confirmed Bachelor” perk, which

enables someone playing as male to do additional damage to

same-sex opponents in combat and opens dialogue choices with

the same-sex (females had a similar perk called “Cherchez La

Femme”). While it had the potential of being just as powerful as

“Black Widow,” it was limited in that it didn’t offer the same

interactions with key male NPCs (though it did open up newer

options with more extraneous NPCs 14

). Furthermore, while

there are many more prostitutes in New Vegas than in Fallout 3

(including an entire hotel devoted to the practice), paid sex is still

primarily reserved with women. In the hotel, you are only

offered the option to have sex with two female prostitutes,

regardless of gender, despite the variety of male and female

homosexual and heterosexual prostitutes. One extraneous,

optional side-quest called “Wang Tang Atomic Tango” allows the

player to recruit a sex-bot, a female ghoul (who dresses like a

dominatrix), and a “smooth talker” male prostitute. However,

only one of the men you can potentially recruit will have sex with

the player, regardless of gender.

Consequently, sexuality is used in both Fallout 3 and

New Vegas as a means of manipulating men, if and only if, you

play as a woman, while unpaid sex for pleasure without

manipulation is reserved only with women. Fallout New Vegas

begins to open up avenues that explore sexuality, with the

addition homosexual characters, and the potential for male

homosexual interaction, though limited. As a heterosexual

woman, having sex with a woman as a woman within the fantasy

space doesn’t turn me off or cause me to be uncomfortable, but it

does remind me that I am operating in the fantasy of a man.

While a case can also be made for operating in the fantasy of a

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homosexual or bisexual woman, the use of femme characters

(with essentially interchangeable sexuality) reinforces a male

perspective. As Ciasullo points out in her analysis of lesbian

bodies in popular media, the popularity of the femme lesbian (and

the consequential absence of the “butch” or otherwise not femme

lesbian) is partly due to her ability to be “de-lesbianized”

(Ciasullo, 2001). In other words, the women you sleep with in

Fallout can be lesbian or straight, but ultimately will be pleasing to

male attraction, as well as attainable and consumable by men.

Skyrim on the other hand works in many ways as a

continuation on the theme of gender and sexuality in role-playing,

even though it branches from another game series. Skyrim

allows you to play as the gender and race of your choice,

resulting in equally skilled characters regardless of race or

gender (for the most part). Additionally, there are several more

possible companions you can interact with, as well as a dizzying

amount of other NPCs involved in a dizzying amount of quests,

which I don’t have time to discuss at length here. However, the

developers make sure to include a wide array of NPCs that cover

all possible gender and race combinations, and female NPCs are

prominently featured as strong, capable and equally skilled at

taking on any job a man could do, including being a blacksmith or

“housecarl” (Skyrim’s word for bodyguard). One of the earliest

potential companions afforded through gameplay is a tough,

capable female Nord named Uthgerd the Unbroken, who appears

in a tavern in Whiterun, the first major city you venture to in the

game. If you speak to her, she will challenge you to a fistfight,

and if you win, she will offer to fight at your side through the

game. What I found particularly fascinating was her fearless

nature and her butch demeanor. Despite her disposition, a male

or female can marry her.

While your companions don’t have significant

back-stories or side-quests, as they do in the Fallout games, you

do have the option of marrying your companions, who can later

continue to fight by your side or tend the household. This option

is extended to you by wearing an “Amulet of Mara” and having

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people recognize it and proposition you. Despite whom you

eventually marry, most interactions with your spouse will be the

same. For the most part, Skyrim attempts to give the player a

fair and mostly authentic playing experience whether you are

playing as male or female, despite your sexuality. There appear

to be both heterosexual and homosexual options for marriage

and a variety of capable choices. Since there isn’t a significant

back-story associated with potential spouses, I didn’t feel a

strong sense of being shafted by not being able to choose

someone I came to grow closer to through their story. However,

it should be noted that marriage serves more of an economical

than intimate purpose in Skyrim: while your spouse will open a

store and generate revenue, you never get the option to share

the marriage bed.

Inauthenticity was mostly a problem when it came to the

race you played, as one of the main storylines involves fighting

for or against a xenophobic Nordic cause, though one could

make the case that fighting against this cause could resonate

with one playing as a different race (this was the case for me).

However, the presence of this plot device, along with popular

representations of the game, brought up interesting dilemmas

related to being able to choose your own character. In

particular, I often wondered whether my experience was

authentic when I confronted popular imagery and representations

around my game, which didn’t include my in-game experience.

Popular Representation of Your Character…“as if a Man”

While each of these games isn’t built upon a static

character linked to the narrative (like the male hero, “Link,” in

Legend of Zelda) or a named character that personifies the

franchise (like “Sheppard,” who can be male or female, in Mass

Effect), there appears to be external pressure to personify the

character as if it defined the game. Each of the titles tried their

best to hide any association with a static character: Fallout 3 and

New Vegas’ covers both had fully armored individuals who could

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be claimed to be male or female (though I will later argue that as

an entry point, the male would be assumed). Skyrim’s cover

only contained the symbol of the dragonborn (or “Dovahkiin”),

which the main character is referred to throughout the game,

despite the race (i.e., fantasy race associated with Skyrim) or

gender chosen. However, a careful examination of the back

covers of all three games erodes the fantasy: each of the titles

features a male player in action (even though each game’s

default play style is first person, meaning that they didn’t have to

show gender at all to demonstrate game play). Further, the

popular representation of Skyrim’s dragonborn is a very

pronounced Nord male character, as if reinforcing the default

option of playing as a Nord. This version of the Dovahkin is

present in all forms of media used to promote the game, including

popular game magazines, fan websites, and a promotional

memorabilia. Since you are often spoken to and treated as if

you are a Nord throughout the game anyway, it serves to erode

the authenticity of your experience if you played as another race.

And, while gender doesn’t seem to matter either way in game

play, the use of the male Nord in marketing and imagery erodes

the authenticity of choosing to play as female. More importantly,

it limits the entry point into the game for many players that

wouldn’t otherwise see themselves enjoying this kind of storyline,

even though the ability to customize your experience would

actually make it enjoyable to a wider audience.

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Figure 1: Fallout 3 images. Left: Front and back cover of the Fallout 3 game. Photo Credit: Bethesda Softworks. Right: close-up of your main character, as a male, reinforcing associations with A Boy and His Dog. Photo Credit: Bethesda

Softworks, http://fallout.bethsoft.com/

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Figure 2: Left: Front and back cover of Fallout New Vegas. Right: Close-up of a back cover photo of your character, as a man, in action. Just as with Fallout 3, the use of a fully-armored and gender ambiguous character on the front cover allows one to maintain the illusion of playing as the gender of your choice, while the use of action pictures of your character as a male on the back cover can assist in eroding that illusion. Photo Credit: Bethesda Softworks.

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Figure 3: Front and Back cover of the Skyrim game. Note that the front cover doesn’t reinforce a static character. Photo Credit: Bethesda Softworks.

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Figure 4: Popular representation of the Dragonborn (“Dovahkiin”). Left: image associated with the game, which was promoted in Game Informer, a popular gaming magazine. Photo Credit: Game Informer. Center: The cover of a game magazine promoted in Europe. Photo Credit: Bethesda Blog, http://www.bethblog.com/. Right: Human-scale promotional statue of the dragonborn: dozens were shipped as collectables and featured in many game retail stores. Photo Credit: Bethesda Blog, http://www.bethblog.com/.

The Evolution of Choosing Your Gender

In recent years, it appears that developers and game

companies are becoming progressively more sensitive to

gamers’ desires to develop their own unique characters, with

gender and race being increasingly offered as characteristics that

can be individualized. For example, two other major RPG titles

have allowed you the ability to choose whether you want to play

as male or female: Mass Effect 1, 2 and 3 and Fable 2 and 3.

Interestingly enough, the shift for most major titles seems to have

occurred around 2007-2008. The original Fable game, released

in 2004, would only allow you to play as male, though this

changed for Fable 2, which allowed one to play as a male or

female character, and was released in 2008. Mass Effect 1 was

released in late 2007, and featured the ability to play as the male

or female captain Sheppard; the later titles of Mass Effect 2 and 3

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were released in 2010 and 2012 respectively, and had expanded

options for sexuality in relation to the gender chosen. Similarly,

Fallout 3 was released in 2008, Fallout NV in 2010, and Skyrim in

late-2011.

I chose to limit this narrative to the Fallout series and

Skyrim because, unlike Mass Effect, they allow you to fully

customize your character down to the name, in addition to race

and gender. Mass Effect primarily enforced playing as “Captain

Sheppard,” a male default character who could be customized to

be female. While in the first game, this seemed tacked on, later

titles allowed for enhanced experiences playing with the gender

of your choice. Furthermore, Mass Effect mirrors similar

progressions in playing as the gender or sexuality of your choice

by increasing the amount of characters you could be intimate

with: in the original Mass Effect, there were only three characters

which you could be intimate with, which included a male NPC if

you were playing as a woman, a female NPC if you were playing

as a man, and a female alien NPC which either could be intimate

with, reinforcing the heterosexual male experience. Later titles,

particularly Mass Effect 3, created more variation. Fable 2, on

the other hand, attempted early on to create a female experience

that was equal to that of a man, allowing female characters to get

as large and bulky as male characters as they grew stronger.

While there was a lot of controversy around allowing females to

play with what would come to look like a masculine-defined

female body, I felt more personally disconnected from the types

of sexual interactions allowed in the game: the men with whom

you could marry often came across as rather effeminate in their

demeanor and interaction, which wasn’t appealing to me as a

heterosexual woman. In other words, in an attempt to create

equality, the developers (perhaps mistakenly) allowed you to play

essentially as the female version of a man, complete with an

eventually masculine-looking body, and feminine-acting male

lovers. However, the use of more inclusive gender and sexuality

options in recent years, particularly in 2011 and 2012 is

encouraging, though the marketing around these games can be a

barrier to entry points for gamers and non-gamers alike.

89

Entry Points to the Narrative Game World

The industry and popular media continue to assume that

women are not playing games as much as men are, and it is

implied that there are barriers to this participation that include the

ways characters are portrayed, or the kinds of content in games -

in this sense, entry points are crucial. If we are starting to see

more games that allow players to craft a dialogue that relates to

them and the way they want to experience gender and race in

relation to that particular game world and quest line, I find it also

crucial for individuals to know what those games are about.

Entry points are the points at which potential players become

familiar with the game: but if the marketing and the memorabilia

are not consistent with the game possibilities, then there is a

potential population being missed.

Recently, I was explaining the experiences I had in

Skyrim to other gamers and non-gamers alike: what was striking

was that there were just as many hardcore male and female

gamers as non-gamers that were initially uninterested in playing

Skyrim. Its use of the male Nord, while appealing to some

gamers, was completely alienating to others, particularly many

black and Latino male gamers, in addition to female gamers.

One lifelong Latino male gamer confided in me that he loved

Bethesda titles, but couldn’t get into that “bow and arrow and

dragon-related mythological playing,” which, to me, speaks to a

larger cultural disconnect. However, many of us were Bethesda

supporters, having played Fallout 3 and New Vegas, which

ultimately led us to experiment with the game, and others

eventually followed once they became aware of the array of

options. Nevertheless, the entry point was limiting in the sense

that a potential population would have been missed, especially

for non-gamers, who I often speak with related to my own

research.

90

The Unique Experience of Female Gamers

As females occupying the gaming spaces, we are often

thrilled to have new choices in interaction so much so that we

may miss the other nuance of our experiences within the context

of playing as a woman. Part of what drew me to video games was

my rejection of static notions of female experience and

expression: I liked power and violence in how it allowed me to

define myself outside of traditional female roles. One of my

earliest movie icons was Ripley from Aliens, who was, in many

ways, the 80s personification of Rosie the Riveter. Growing up

with feminist parents probably furthered my association with

Ripley who was as capable as a man, but was also in touch with

her femininity as a mother figure and a love interest. She could

be strong and powerful, sexy and brave, dependent and

dependable: she could save all of the men and children and still

be the sexual interest of a respected, strong and capable man.

However, we didn’t get to play as Ripley – we got to play

as a man as we imagined being her. Our games didn’t pass the

Bechdel test 15

; in fact, they didn’t come close. As women’s

presence in gaming spaces is increasing, video game companies

are beginning to allow for a variety of gendered experiences, at

least as long as they relate to a narrative that often starts around

a man. However, the move toward increased sexual expression

and equal capability despite gender, suggests that the gendered

nature of the narrative is breaking down. The last barrier, it

appears, is increasing the access to that narrative and that

expression: the longer that games continued to be marketed as

boy’s spaces, the less likely those that don’t see themselves

inhabiting those spaces will take part in that narrative. While I

love the Skyrim male Nord, I also love my female wood elf, who

bravely fought against a xenophobic cause, saved Skyrim from

dragons and dark elves, and married a male mage who cooks her

a home cooked meal once a day. I want her story on the cover

of Game Informer too.