Can you answer this question ?
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Part 1: Identifying the Dispute
Michael Whitener
1. Briefly summarize your dispute as you perceive it, placing events in chronological order. Include what you have done to resolve the dispute.
I have a dispute with my closest friend Erick. We got entangled in a confrontation last year on the eve of 25th December. I had been chatting with Erick's girlfriend before that day though he had never discovered. Despite our frequent conversations, I had no bad intentions, and I saw no wrong in maintaining our conversation. Erick went through her girlfriend's chats and found our conversation on that fateful day. Though his girlfriend had saved me with a different name, Erick discovered me because of my posted picture.
That was the beginning of our dispute. Erick called me and threatened to deal with me mercilessly for having an affair with her girlfriend. I disowned the accusations, but he still insisted that we were dating. From that moment, I avoided chatting and blocked her girlfriend to avoid more contention. I also tried to reach out personally to Erick to explain my case, but he refused until he recently accepted, and we met. I accepted that chatting with her girlfriend without his knowledge was a mistake, and I would not repeat it. However, Erick is still unwilling to forgive me and end the feud, claiming that he needs more time.
2. Have you been striving earnestly to resolve this dispute or giving only partial efforts to reconcile?
Given my closeness with Erick, I have strived to solve our dispute. I have severally tried to prove that I am sorry by sharing not all the conversations I had with his girlfriend, but that has been fruitful (Walter, 2018). During our meeting, I acknowledged that it was wrong talking to his girlfriend without his knowledge and that, since then, I had blocked her and cut our communication. In most of my conversations with Erick, I remain absolutely humble to him as I seek to solve the dispute. I believe my innocence will be proven though it will take more effort.
3. What questions, doubts, or fears do you have because of this dispute?
One of my fears due to the current dispute between Erick and me is that Erick may damage my reputation by sharing the incident with my friends. The act would cause some people to isolate me even without allowing me to explain myself. I am doubtful whether I will solve the conflict soon. Every time I talk to Erick, he seems so disappointed with me and strongly believes that I had a love affair with his girlfriend. I am also unsure whether his girlfriend is trying to reconcile with him. The question I have is whether I should involve a mediator in solving my conflicts or leave everything to fate.
4. Have you been looking at this dispute as something that happened by chance, as something done to you by someone else, or as something that God allowed in your life for a specific purpose
I look at the dispute as something that God allowed for a purpose. It was not the first time I was talking to my friends’ girlfriend without their knowledge, but it was the first time to be caught up. I think God wants me to avoid interacting with people who can create problems in my life. Also, God allowed it to happen so that I would learn about true and false friends. My pleadings of innocence and my behavior would prompt Erick to forgive me as his friend. However, his unwillingness to let it go has shown that we never trusted each other, and currently, I am just seeking to solve the dispute and not renew our friendship.
5. Using what you currently know about conflict resolution, which response to the conflict have you been using to resolve the dispute?
Based on my understanding of conflict resolution, I think I have been accepting my mistakes that resulted into the dispute. Acceptance is a conflict resolution approach where one or all conflicting parties agree to causing the conflict (Bogue, 2021). It is a method used to prevent de-escalation of the dispute between the disagreeing parties. By embracing acceptance, I managed to prevent more confrontation with Erick despite our existing conflict (Bogue, 2021). I am ready to take the blame as long as I can until we find a solution.
References
Bogue, R. (2021, June 17). Conflict: The importance of acceptance. Thor Projects. Retrieved February 8, 2022, from https://thorprojects.com/blog/archive/2019/12/06/conflict-the-importance-of-acceptance/
Walter, N. (2018, May 3). Summary of "conflict resolution: Theory, research, practice". Beyond Intractability. Retrieved February 8, 2022, from https://www.beyondintractability.org/bksum/schellenberg-conflict