English TASKS #2

HAMLET What ho! Horatio!

[Enter HORATIO]

HORATIO Here, sweet lord, at your service.

HAMLET Horatio, thou art e'en as just a man As e'er my conversation coped withal.

HORATIO O, my dear lord,—

HAMLET

Nay, do not think I flatter; For what advancement may I hope from thee That no revenue hast but thy good spirits, To feed and clothe thee? Why should the poor be flatter'd? No, let the candied tongue lick absurd pomp, And crook the pregnant hinges of the knee Where thrift may follow fawning. Dost thou hear? Since my dear soul was mistress of her choice And could of men distinguish, her election Hath seal'd thee for herself; for thou hast been As one, in suffering all, that suffers nothing, A man that fortune's buffets and rewards Hast ta'en with equal thanks: and blest are those Whose blood and judgment are so well commingled, That they are not a pipe for fortune's finger To sound what stop she please. Give me that man That is not passion's slave, and I will wear him In my heart's core, ay, in my heart of heart, As I do thee.—Something too much of this.—There is a play to-night before the king; One scene of it comes near the circumstance Which I have told thee of my father's death: I prithee, when thou seest that act afoot, Even with the very comment of thy soul Observe mine uncle: if his occulted guilt Do not itself unkennel in one speech, It is a damned ghost that we have seen, And my imaginations are as foul As Vulcan's stithy. Give him heedful note; For I mine eyes will rivet to his face, And after we will both our judgments join In censure of his seeming.

HORATIO Well, my lord:  If he steal aught the whilst this play is playing, And 'scape detecting, I will pay the theft.

HAMLET They are coming to the play; I must be idle: Get you a place.

Dialogue: Hamlet and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

GUILDENSTERN The queen, your mother, in most great affliction of spirit, hath sent me to you.

HAMLET  You are welcome.

GUILDENSTERN   Nay, good my lord, this courtesy is not of the right breed. If it shall please you to make me a wholesome answer, I will do your mother's commandment: if not, your pardon and my return shall be the end of my business.

HAMLET  Sir, I cannot.

GUILDENSTERN   What, my lord?

HAMLET  Make you a wholesome answer; my wit's diseased: but, sir, such answer as I can make,you shall command; or, rather, as you say, my mother: therefore no more, but to the matter: my mother, you say,—

ROSENCRANTZ    Then thus she says; your behavior hath struck her into amazement and admiration.

HAMLET  O wonderful son, that can so astonish a mother! But is there no sequel at the heels of this mother's admiration? Impart.

ROSENCRANTZ    She desires to speak with you in her closet, ere you go to bed.

HAMLET  We shall obey, were she ten times our mother. Have you any further trade with us?

ROSENCRANTZ    My lord, you once did love me.

HAMLET  So I do still, by these pickers and stealers.

ROSENCRANTZ    Good my lord, what is your cause of distemper? you do, surely, bar the door upon your own liberty, if you deny your griefs to your friend.

HAMLET  Sir, I lack advancement.

ROSENCRANTZ    How can that be, when you have the voice of the king himself for your succession in Denmark?

HAMLET  Ay, but sir, 'While the grass grows,'—the proverb is something musty.

        [Re-enter Players with recorders]

O, the recorders! let me see one. To withdraw with you:—why do you go about to recover the wind of me, as if you would drive me into a toil?

GUILDENSTERN   O, my lord, if my duty be too bold, my love is too unmannerly.

HAMLET  I do not well understand that. Will you play upon this pipe?

GUILDENSTERN   My lord, I cannot.

HAMLET  I pray you.

GUILDENSTERN   Believe me, I cannot.

HAMLET  I do beseech you.

GUILDENSTERN   I know no touch of it, my lord.

HAMLET  'Tis as easy as lying: govern these ventages with your lingers and thumb, give it breath with your mouth, and it will discourse most eloquent music. Look you, these are the stops.

GUILDENSTERN   But these cannot I command to any utterance of harmony; I have not the skill.

HAMLET  Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me! You would play upon me; you would seem to know my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass: and there is much music,excellent voice,in this little organ; yet cannot you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you cannot play upon me.

Dialogue: Hamlet and Polonius

LORD POLONIUS  My lord, the queen would speak with you, and presently.

HAMLET  Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in shape of a camel?

LORD POLONIUS  By the mass, and 'tis like a camel, indeed.

HAMLET  Methinks it is like a weasel.

LORD POLONIUS  It is backed like a weasel.

HAMLET  Or like a whale?

LORD POLONIUS  Very like a whale.

HAMLET  Then I will come to my mother by and by. They fool me to the top of my bent. I will come by and by.

LORD POLONIUS  I will say so.

HAMLET  By and by is easily said.