ENG 121 Respond dis2

missykitty12
myrevisionchecklist.docx

Revision Checklist

Your name: Melissa Maclean

Date:

Jan 11, 2018

· Outline your essay as it currently stands.

Introduction:

State your attention grabber:

State your thesis:

Body paragraph 1:

State your topic sentence:

Summarize your evidence/examples:

Body paragraph 2:

State your topic sentence:

Summarize your evidence/examples:

Body paragraph 3:

State your topic sentence:

Summarize your evidence/examples:

Body paragraph 4:

State your topic sentence:

Summarize your evidence/examples:

Body paragraph 5:

State your topic sentence:

Summarize your evidence/examples:

Conclusion

Transition word:

How purpose is reemphasized:

· Locate two gaps in the outline where you need to make connections more clear. See “Is the Paper Coherent?” in Chapter 9, Section 2 of your textbook.

1. I need to add more dialogue with my children.

2. Eliminate some transitional words that I have used in between my sentences.

· How can I make my essay more organized? List two ideas.

1. By adding more description in my events will help the outline of the timeline.

2. Adding more dialogue will make the essay more relatable to the reader.

· Where can I add more content? List two ideas. Describe what you might add.

1. More detail regarding the balance of having a career while being a parent.

2. More description of my events.

· List 3 to 5 instructions for improvement provided by your instructor on your week one practice essay

that would also be helpful as you revise your week three draft.

1.

2.

3.

4.

· List 1 to 3 specific suggestions for improvement provided by your peers from your week three draft that you wish to address.

1.

2.

3.

I have always taken advantage of opportunities to learn at home, at work or at school with the

expectation that one day; I will enroll in a university to acquire more knowledge in the field of

my career.

Notably, in the modern world, several graduates are joining the workforce; subsequently, making

the working environment more competitive than ever before.

. In this case, I decided to go back to school too I improve my credentials and be able to compete

with the other fresh graduates.

Although I have gained experience in my career, it is inadequate to guarantee job security due to

the competitive state of the job market.

Availability of online degree programs, which have considerably eased learning while working

was also a significant source of motivation when deciding to go back to school.

Lastly, like many parents, I decided to go back to school to set an example and act as a

role model to my children.

, I feel that going back to school is an excellent way to prove to my children that education is

essential; therefore, motivate them to follow my educational path.

My going back to school has not been a smooth one.

Despite the challenges, my resolve to achieve a university degree is still firm, and I feel

that the decision to go ba ck to school was the right and I look forward to my graduation.

I am aware that these benefits will not occur automatically, and I will need to continue

improving my skills and acquire more knowledge regarding my field of career.

Running head: GOING BACK TO SCHOOL 1 I plan to undertake master and doctorate degrees in the line of my job after completing

mine undergraduate degree in supply chain management.

See if you can expand the idea of setting an example for your children.

What do your children to say to you as you work hard to achieve your degree?

what do you say to them?

Add some conversation to your decision to attend college, either internal or

external.

more details regarding the balance of having a car eer while being a parent could help outline the

timeline.

more description of key events would add to the intensity

remove some of the unnecessary transitional words between sentences.

The modern world has several adults who are pursuing education for various reasons that include

getting a sense of accomplishment, job security, and career advancement.

I decided to go back to sc hool for self-fulfillment, advance my career and have better pay,

act as a role model to my children and set their education standards, and increase my chances of

getting a better and well-paying job as well as rise to the management levels.

Since my childhood, I have had a dream of achieving the highest possible level of e ducation

because of my immense passion for learning.