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MSL 665

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Belhaven University

Unit 6

Coaching Through Conflict

Unit 6 Introduction

Unit Six of the Coaching & Conflict Resolution

course takes an in-depth look at conflict and a

coach’s best approach to dealing with the different

types of conflict.

Unit 6 Topics

 Types of Conflict

 Conflict Styles

 Conflict-Handling

 Coaching: Nature of Design Thinking

Course Level Competencies

 Objective 1.1: Define and identify components of best

practices of coaching, mentoring, and conflict resolution.

 Objective 3.1: Analyze internal and external dynamics

of teams.

 Objective 3.2: Practice effective conflict resolution skills

through use of role play.

 Objective 5.1: Demonstrate professional conduct in oral

communication, written communication, presentation

skills, and punctuality.

 Objective 5.2: Identify attributes of God-centered conflict

resolution and coaching.

Unit 6 Objectives

MSL 665

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Belhaven University

Unit 6.1 Lecture

 Types of Conflict

 Conflict Styles

How do you approach conflict?

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

from https://www.slideshare.net/SMITARASTOGI3/conflict-management-63764350

Types of Conflict

 Work with your team to discuss examples of

each of these conflicts. Make suggestions for

how to effectively deal with each type.

 Intra-personal: struggles within a person.

 Inter-personal: conflict between two people.

 Intra-group: conflict within a group.

 Inter-group: two different groups in conflict with

one another.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Types of Conflict – Intra-personal

 Inner conflicts are often about questions of

integrity, values, and ethics — about doing the

right thing versus what you want to do.

 Inner conflict can be difficult to recognize.

 Sometimes this conflict is difficult to live with.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Types of Conflict – Intra-personal Examples

 You know you should go to a meeting where an important social issue will be discussed and a strategy developed. However, you are tired and would really prefer to stay home. Your conscience says “go” and your body says “stay.”

 You disagree with your boss about a decision that has just been made. Part of you thinks you should be strong and voice your opposition. Another part of you says to just sit tight.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Types of Conflict – Inter-personal Conflict

 This is conflict between two or more people.

 May be caused by a number of different factors:

 Personality clashes.

 Culture clashes.

 Differences in values.

 Breakdown in communication.

 Unmet expectations.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Types of Conflict – Intra-group Conflict

 Conflict within a group.

 For example, harassment between groups of

teammates. Veterans and rookies in the NFL.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Types of Conflict – Inter-group Conflict

 Group conflict may be independent of the people

occupying the roles.

 For example, conflict between marketing and

production is common.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Our Approach to Conflict Affects the Outcome

 The situation and the importance of the issue(s).

 Our skill sets for dealing with conflict (style,

communication both verbal/non-verbal).

 Our comfort zone from previous experiences.

 The politics/dynamics.

 Suggestions and/advice from others.

 Timing.

 Other factors?

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

What gets in your way when you approach

conflict?

What do you use to your advantage to find

success?

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Causes of Conflict

 Conflict can arise when any one or more of the

following causes occur.

 Put a check by the ones that you have

personally experienced.

 Work in teams to come up with some real world

examples of these causes.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Causes of Conflict, cont.  Resources: time, staff, money, etc.

 Goals: different visions for success, etc.

 Personality Differences: extraverts/introverts,

etc.

 Psychological Needs: respect, power,

belonging, etc.

 Values: honesty, fidelity, etc.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Causes of Conflict, cont.  Rules/regulations/policies: interpretations, etc.

 Customs/habits: tapping your pencil,

procrastination, etc.

 Egos/competition: only one winner, I want your

job, etc.

 Information: too little or too much.

 Physical or mental health issues:

 Others?

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Assumptions  Conflict is avoidable.

 Conflict is not avoidable. Not everyone is going to

like or agree with everyone else.

 Conflict produces inappropriate reactions by

the people involved.

 Sometimes reactions are inappropriate.

Sometimes they are very appropriate.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

 Conflict creates polarization within the

organization.

 Communities can become polarized over things

like whether they need a new high school or

whether the present school is adequate.

 We should avoid conflict.

 Trying to stop all conflict is a waste of time and

energy.

 Conflict can have either constructive or

destructive effects.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

De-escalation of Conflict

 A conflict will de-escalate when:

 People focus on the problem, not the person.

 Emotions are expressed directly.

 Any threats are reduced or eliminated.

 There is a history of cooperation.

 Needs are discussed openly.

 People use conflict resolution skills.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Escalation of Conflict  A conflict will usually escalate when:

 Others get involved.

 Someone feels threatened.

 Important needs are not acknowledged

and/or met.

 There is no interest in maintaining a

relationship.

 There is a history of unproductive conflict.

 People do not have or do not use conflict

resolution techniques.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Conflict Styles

 There are five basic “reactions” or styles to deal

with conflict.

 In 1974, The Thomas Kilmann Instrument® was

developed by Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph

H. Kilmann (1977) to make the differences in

conflict styles more understandable and useful.

 The TKI uses two axes (influenced by the

Robert R. Mouton and Jane Blake axes):

"assertiveness" and "cooperativeness.”

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Conflict Styles, cont.

 It is a self-report conflict style inventory using 30

pairs of forced choice answers.

 We are a combination of all the types. There are no

right or wrong types.

 Learning about your conflict ‘style’ will help you

better understand yourself and others.

For those of you that panicked in Lecture 4, this is an

assessment.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Thomas-Kilmann Instrument

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Axis What it Impacts

Assertiveness The degree to which you satisfy your own concerns, needs and

desires.

Cooperativeness The degree to which you satisfy another person's concerns, needs

and desires.

Conflict Styles

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

High

Assertiveness

Low

Competing Collaborating

Compromising

Avoiding Accommodating

Cooperativeness

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

https://washingtonmonthly.com/2015/02/15/how-president-obama-handles-conflict/

Competing: “My Way or the Highway”

 Characterized by:

 Asserting your position without considering

other viewpoints.

 High assertiveness, low cooperativeness.

 Should be used:

 Sparingly.

 On vital issues when collaborating is not

feasible.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Competing, cont.

 Solutions are imposed.

 Power struggles.

 Issues are decided through arbitration or by a

manager.

 Very competitive process.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

 Ending 6.1 and getting into 6.2

 Conflict-Handling

 Coaching: Nature of Design Thinking

MSL 665

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Belhaven University

Unit 6.2 Lecture

 Conflict-Handling

 Coaching: Nature of Design Thinking

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

https://www.slideshare.net/SMITARASTOGI3/conflict-management-63764350 Slide 21

Avoiding: “Leave Well Enough Alone”

 Characterized by:

 Stalling or ignoring an issue.

 Low assertiveness, low cooperativeness.

 Should be used:

 Conflict is emotional.

 Little can be gained.

 Issue should be postponed.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Avoiding

 Withdrawal.

 Ignoring or hiding issues that would contribute to

the conflict.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Compromising: “Let’s Make a Deal”  Characterized by:

 Finding a middle ground by achieving some goals and

conceding on others.

 Moderate assertiveness, moderate cooperativeness.

 Should be used:

 Not on vital issues.

 When competing and collaborating are not practical.

 In a turn-taking fashion.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Compromising

 Give something to get something.

 Some accommodation and adjustments are

used to get acceptable outcomes.

 Outcomes may be acceptable but they are not

the best.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Accommodating: “Kill Them with Kindness”  Characterized by:

 Focusing on the goals and concerns of others.

 Low assertiveness, with cooperativeness.

 Should be used:

 Yield to a better position.

 You are overruled.

 It is important to others.

 Clean up hard feelings.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Accommodating

 Soften harshness, emotions, or main issues to

maintain peace and harmony.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Collaborating: “Two Heads are Better than

One”

 Characterized by:

 Desire to fully satisfy both sides of an issue.

 High assertiveness, high cooperativeness.

 Should be used:

 Under conditions that enable collaboration.

 On important issues.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Collaborating

 Issues are uncovered, conversation

encouraged, and conflict is resolved.

 Only the collaborating style achieves real

conflict resolution.

 Problem-solving (collaborating) identifies and

works through the causes of conflict.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Mental Preparation for Conflict

 Most important part of preparation is attitude.

 Conflict resolution skills can help us deal with

our fears.

 More than one way to satisfy concerns.

 Good preparation means success.

 Know the issues involved.

 Plan your strategy.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Mental Preparation for Conflict  Do your homework.

 Look at the situation through the other person’s

eyes.

 Brainstorm some options with your colleagues.

 Know your hot buttons (stressors).

 What makes you feel angry, defensive,

fearful, or guilty?

Ok, you ready to coach a coworker through

conflict or behavioral change?

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Use this information to begin coaching.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

https://davisassociates.co.uk/invest-in-executive-coaching/

The Nature of Design Thinking

Design thinking, a concept born of the world of

architects and artists, provides some important

principles for co-creating plans with coaching clients.

Like architects, coaches support clients in creating a

clear vision of what they want to build and help make

plans to create strong foundations and frameworks on

which to build. In the design process, the coach as

“architect” takes a solution-focused approach,

incorporating both analysis and imagination.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Designing the Coaching Program

The startup of a coaching program sets the tone for

the entire coaching relationship both by establishing

trust and rapport and by creating an inspiring and

engaging vision and goals on which a client will work

for weeks and months to come. The design of the

relationship—including the principles of empathy,

positivity, creative collaboration, and a learning and

growth mindset through experimentation—is ideally

conveyed to the client at the outset.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Startup Coaching Session

An initial coaching session is typically focused on

gaining a good understanding of the client’s

history, strengths, and goals as well as to start

building a vision and plan.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

Startup Coaching Session, cont.

It is important to explain that the objectives for the

first coaching session include discussing

assessment results (if an assessment was part of

the startup phase); learning more about the

client’s priorities, strengths, goals, motivators,

challenges, and resources; and supporting the

client in developing a plan (including a vision,

three-month behavioral goals, and several first

week goals).

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

In a Coaching Session, you will want to

revisit our past lectures. It’s important to

cover:

 Designing Visions

 The Importance of Motivation

 Make sure Goals are following the SMART

formula:  Specific, Measurable, Action-based, Realistic, Time-bound

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

The Client Is in the Driver’s Seat

 Be sure clients understand that they may turn away

from any challenge or goal. It is always their

choice. If they seem intrigued by a behavioral goal

but intimidated by the challenge, encourage them

to make a counterproposal that is more

comfortable.

 The job of the coach is to find the balance between

challenging clients to do more than they think they

can do while encouraging a scaling back of goals

that are out of reach.

Coaching & Conflict Resolution

 Complete reading assignments.

 Complete writing assignments.

 Answer discussion questions.

 Complete unit quiz.

 Complete your Zoom session.

What’s next?

Kilmann, R. H., & Thomas, K. W. (1977). Developing a forced-choice

measure of conflict-handling behavior: The MODE instrument.

Educational and Psychological Measurement 37(2), 309–325.

Moore, M., Jackson, E., Moran-Tschannen, B. (2016). Coaching psychology

manual (2nd ed.). New York: Wolters-Kluwer.

William, M. (2015). Survivor skills for supervisors. Penn State University,

Office of Human Resources.

References

Image References

Carr, B. (2018 May 28). Handling conflict in the workplace. Retrieved from

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Re1GqWGon8

Davis, N. (2017 July 20). Executive coaching to unlock your potential.

Retrieved from https://davisassociates.co.uk/invest-in-executive-

coaching/

Dual Concern Model. (2013). Retrieved from

https://washingtonmonthly.com/2015/02/15/how-president-obama-

handles-conflict/

Rastogi, S. (2016 July 6). Conflict-handling intensions (Slide 21). Retrieved

from https://www.slideshare.net/SMITARASTOGI3/conflict-

management-63764350