Research Concept Matrix

https://doi.org/10.1177/1538192719849756

Journal of Hispanic Higher Education 2021, Vol. 20(2) 213 –231

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Article

The Guilt of Success: Looking at Latino First-Generation College Students’ Experience of Leaving Home

Rosean Moreno1

Abstract This study looked at the experiences of six participants and their feelings of guilt. The findings revealed that guilt was caused when the participants put their needs before the needs of their family and attended college. Institutions of higher education may not know or understand the importance family plays for these students and may not foster parent participation, therefore potentially increasing these feelings of guilt.

Resumen Este estudio examinó las experiencias de seis participantes y sus sentimientos de culpa. Los hallazgos revelaron que la culpa se causó cuando los participantes pusieron sus necesidades antes de las necesidades de su familia al concurrir a la universidad. Instituciones de educación superior podrán no saber o entender la importancia que la familia juega en estos estudiantes y podrán no promover la participación de los padres, por lo tanto, potencialmente incrementando esos sentimiento de culpa.

Keywords achievement, Latino/a, qualitative, resilience, retention, guilt, first generation, college

The Guilt of Success

When students go to college, they grow and become mature individuals, expand their knowledge academically and socially, and gain a better understanding of different careers,

1El Camino College, Torrance, CA, USA

Corresponding Author: Rosean Moreno, El Camino College, 18232 Index St., Porter Ranch, CA 91326, USA. Email: romorenos@gmail.com

849756 JHHXXX10.1177/1538192719849756Journal of Hispanic Higher EducationMoreno research-article2019

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including which one is right for them (Pascarella & Terenzini, 2005). Students choose to go to college because a college degree increases their income by almost 50% compared with someone who only has a high school diploma (Swail, Redd, & Perna, 2003).

First-generation college students in particular are a growing population in U.S. col- leges. Between 1980 and 2011, first-generation college students increased 73%, mak- ing this group an important population to watch and support (Tucker, 2014). Students who are first-generation college students are individuals who are attending or have attended college while their parents did not go further than a high school education (Pascarella, Pierson, Wolniak, & Terenzini, 2004). Ensuring the success of first-gener- ation college students is crucial because the demographics of this country are changing and colleges are starting to reflect those changes. Therefore, it is important that col- leges begin to better understand the background and needs of first-generation college students because more of them continue to enter college.

Introduction

According to the U.S. Census Bureau (2013), 81.8% of the population with a bache- lor’s degree are White and 7.5% are Latino/as. Fewer Latino/as pursue an advanced degree compared with their White counterparts. For example, one out of 13 White students with a bachelor’s degree earns a doctorate, compared with one out of 23 Latino/as (U.S. Census Bureau, 2013). Even with increased efforts made to retain these underrepresented populations, such as an increase in financial aid, extra tutoring, peer advising, and remedial courses, Latino/a students still obtain lower grade point averages (GPAs), have higher dropout rates, and are less likely to graduate than their White or Asian peers (Massey, 2003). This knowledge is useful in identifying the gap in educational opportunities and makes the case that more needs to be known on how to properly serve Latino/a students.

The challenge lies in understanding the reasons behind the lower rates of college enrollment and graduation for first-generation college students. For many first-gener- ation college students, the idea of leaving home to pursue an education, taking a high- paying job, and ultimately becoming more “successful” than the rest of their family and community can bring a sense of guilt for leaving home to live a “better” life while not being able to bring their loved ones with them. For most first-generation college students, it is a struggle to balance the demands of being a student with being an active member of their family and community. As a result, there is reason to believe that first- generation college students often have the feeling of needing to be two different peo- ple. Many first-generation college students state that they keep their academic life completely separate from their family life, therefore creating two different personas (Bryan & Simmons, 2009). As stated by Richard Rodriguez (1974) who was one of the first authors to write about his experience as a Latino first-generation college student, often a student’s academic pursuits are not welcomed by family members, which puts pressure on the student to keep this new world away from home life. This notion of having to keep their academic and family world separate was also discussed by Laura Rendon (1992) as she used Richard Rodriguez’s initial article to state the challenges

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she had as a Latina first-generation college student and how her mother regretted send- ing her to college due to not feeling like they could relate anymore. By attending col- lege, first-generation college students get to experience an opportunity their parents did not have. Many times they struggle with the lack of academic support from their family because their family does not know how to support them. Often first-generation college students worry that going to college will create a gap between them and their family or that they will no longer belong (Banks-Santilli, 2015). Those who are suc- cessful may begin to realize that they are gaining life-changing opportunities unavail- able to their communities and not understood by family. This study will look into whether this realization brings a sense of guilt for experiencing a better life.

It is intuitive to believe that this need to bridge two unique worlds and personas influences first-generation students’ college enrollment and retention, as well as their educational attainment. However, how it might do so must be further explored if edu- cators and policy makers are to find ways to support this growing population. Typically, the scholarship on this population does little to ameliorate the situation, framing their experiences through a deficit framework and emphasizing failures in the face of chal- lenges. Studies that explore the source of guilt and the pursuit of success are rare. The goal of this study is to make explicit the strength, support, and success through per- sonal narratives of first-generation college students who experienced guilt.

Purpose

The purpose of this qualitative study is to understand the experiences of Latino/a first- generation graduate students who may experience feelings of guilt in pursuit of the achievement of an undergraduate education. This study will answer the following questions: What role does guilt play in the higher education journey of Latino/a first- generation college students? What tools and strategies do they use to manage the role it plays? In what ways does guilt negatively influence their higher education journey and how do they achieve academic success?

Conceptual Framework/Literature Review

The conceptual framework for this study draws from Geraldine Piorkowski’s (1983) linkage of survivor guilt in relation to first-generation college students. The idea that first-generation college students struggle with feeling like they are the only ones who have succeeded while others from their community did not helped to frame this study as it was clear that more research on this concept was needed. However, to understand Piorkoski’s concept, it is best to get an understanding of what is survivor guilt.

Survivor Guilt

Niederland (1961) first used the term survivor guilt to describe the experiences of Holocaust survivors. A psychoanalyst who studied individuals who survived the Holocaust and immigrated to the United States, William Niederland advocated for focusing on the

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stories of survivors, as no one at the time understood that surviving a traumatic event like the Holocaust brought forth mental instability that could possibly hinder one’s daily life. The individuals Niederland studied shared stories of hardship and loss; because of their experiences, they felt alone, depressed, denial, misunderstood, unable to relate to others, and different than the person they were before the disaster.

Niederland (1961) described survivor guilt as the guilt felt after surviving a disaster when others did not. As a result of the guilt, survivors try to punish themselves either consciously or subconsciously for having survived. This guilt is described as a great burden and a heavy load that is carried by the survivor. When the individual is wrapped up in the chaos of the events and has no time to settle, they do not have time to reflect on the disaster. These feelings of guilt tend to emerge when the chaos and traumatic event are over and the survivor is in a state of calmness and ease. According to Niederland, the guilt emerges in one of two ways, either through the depression or inner pain felt by the survivor or when the survivor begins to feel as if they are hated or being attacked by others. Examples of this can be seen in Niederland’s article where survivors of the Holocaust were finally settling in their homes in the United States and began to reflect on their experiences, which, in turn, gave rise to depression and remorse.

The concept of survivor guilt was first applied to higher education by Geraldine Piorkowski who used the term to refer to first-generation college students. At the time, Piorkowski was the director of counseling and testing services at a university in Chicago. She used her knowledge and experience working with students to develop and use the concept of survivor guilt in relation to first-generation college students. This notion of survivor guilt is linked to the idea that first-generation college students struggle with the concept of going to college and being successful while not being able to bring their family with them to this new life they are experiencing. First-generation college students described experiencing criticism from their family, as they were con- stantly asked, “So you think you are better?” These questions caused difficulty for first-generation college students when trying to speak to family about their academic life (Piorkowski, 1983).

Piorkowski (1983) argued that survivor guilt was most prevalent in low-income, urban first-generation college students. According to Piorkowski, these students feel the guilt when they begin to reflect on being in college even as others from their com- munity who are equally or more deserving of a college education are not. These first- generation college students begin to believe that their success is a direct result of others’ failure. The college students ask themselves why they should succeed when others do not or what else they could have done to help others, causing grief. The guilt felt by these students can be linked to depression, difficulties concentrating, and study skills problems, which, in turn, affect academic success.

Individuals also begin to feel frustration, isolation, and criticism coming from fam- ily members directly related to their success. Those students who decide to change their diction to reflect “proper” English are often ridiculed by family members who believe the individual is trying to be better than them. According to Piorkowski (1983), these students restrict themselves from talking about academics or positives in their life with others in their family. The students find it difficult to pursue academic work,

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which they experience as breaking away from family and the family norms, without facing internal struggles. Students may feel as if college changes who they are and they cannot go back to the person they used to be before entering college. First- generation college students experience anxiety over leaving their family. They also risk ridicule and feeling like they do not belong or they may experience a sense of being attacked, constantly criticized, and hated.

Survivor guilt may rise from years of oppression of certain communities, such as communities that are low-income or of color, and making those who break away from that oppression feel guilty for moving away from the norm. Understanding this notion of survivor guilt and how it relates to first-generation college students will help col- lege faculty/staff, parents, and the actual students embrace the challenges these indi- viduals face at school and at home. These students may be struggling with these issues of guilt, and it is important that we as professionals understand the guilt to help these students succeed.

Method

A narrative design is appropriate for this study because it allows the author to tell per- sonal stories of successful students from historically marginalized groups that have not had a voice. According to Cortazzi and Jin (2006), narrative designs are intended to focus research not only on the participants’ experiences but also on the meanings they give to those experiences. This design allows the researcher to give voice to the par- ticipants and tell their stories in ways that are often not told or not possible in other forms of both quantitative and qualitative designs. This method is also indicated when the researcher is looking to find results useful in a college setting (Plano Clark & Creswell, 2010) such as using the findings to help college staff and faculty understand the lived experiences of first-generation college students. Narrative inquiry is also a way for researcher and participant to collaborate to tell a story of lived experience (Clandinin & Connelly, 2000).

For this study, participants were asked to share stories of guilt and how they man- aged to overcome that challenge. Through multiple interviews with each participant, information was gathered to help tell their story. According to Seidman (2006), inter- views allow for a better understanding of the lived experiences of individuals as well as how those individuals understand those experiences.

This study used the narrative notion of counterstories to best tell each individu- al’s story. Counterstories are a way of challenging the dominant culture and open- ing new experiences and perspectives, and develop a richer body of knowledge (Delgado, 1989).

Sample

The population of this study was Latino/a first-generation college graduates who had expressed feelings of guilt related to being the first or only member of their family to attend an institution of higher education. Many first-generation college students are of

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color and from low-income communities (Saenz, Hurtado, Barrera, Wolf, & Yeung, 2007). According to the Higher Education Research Institute at University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA; Saenz et al., 2007), Latino/as are currently and historically the largest population of first-generation college students. As Latino/as make up a large pro- portion of first-generation college students, this study will focus on recruiting from this population.

Participants must have attended and graduated from a U.S. high school. As there is little information about how the rest of the world prepares first-generation college students for higher education, this study will solely focus on those individuals who have attended U.S. high schools. Graduate students or those who have completed graduate school were chosen to participate as a way of showing persistence and telling the stories of success of these participants. The individuals were recruited from all over the United States. They all self-identified as Latino/a.

There were a total of six participants in this study. According to Creswell (2007), nar- rative studies can have as few as one participant. Narrative designs require multiple inter- views, and the data collected are extensive and richly detailed (Creswell, 2007); therefore, this study was limited to no more than six participants. As guilt can affect any first-gener- ation student, no particular school, city, or discipline was chosen to be the focus of the study. With very little information available on the effects of guilt on first-generation students, there is no empirical evidence to suggest a specific population to choose from.

Participants

There were a total of six participants: three females and three males between the age of 27 and 42 years. A brief biography of each is given below:

Ariana is a 27-year-old female from Rhode Island. She is of Afro-Colombian and Italian descent who speaks both English and Spanish. She is majoring in anthropol- ogy and is currently pursuing her doctorate degree. Ariana attended a college in Vermont for undergrad, and for graduate school, she attended colleges in Massachusetts and Illinois. Christina is a 32-year-old female from Texas. She is of Mexican descent and speaks both English and Spanish. She is majoring in counseling and is pursuing her doctor- ate degree. Christina attended a college in Texas for undergrad, and for graduate school, she attended colleges in Colorado and Idaho. Jacinto is a 42-year-old male from Southern California. He is of Mexican descent and speaks both English and Spanish. He is majoring in education and is pursuing his doctorate degree. Jacinto attended a community college in Southern California and Cal State in Southern California for undergrad, and for graduate school, he attended colleges in Southern California. Jacinto stayed home/local throughout his educational journey. Pedro is a 34-year-old male from Southern California. He is of Salvadorian descent and speaks both English and Spanish. He is majoring in education and is pursuing his doctorate degree. Pedro attended a community college in Southern California

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and UC in Southern California for undergrad, and for graduate school, he attended colleges in Southern California. Veronica is a 27-year-old female from Southern California. She is of Mexican descent and speaks both English and Spanish. She is majoring in social sciences and is pursuing her doctorate degree. Veronica attended a Cal State for undergrad, and for graduate school, she attended a college in New England. She has two younger brothers and two younger sisters. Xavier is a 32-year-old male from Southern California. He is of Mexican and Persian descent and speaks both English and Spanish. He is majoring in education and is pursuing his doctorate degree. Xavier attended a community college in Southern California and a Cal State in Southern California for undergrad, and for graduate school, he attended colleges in Southern California.

Data Collection Methods

Two instruments were used to collect data: a questionnaire and multiple interview protocols. These instruments, as well as the specific procedures to gather the data, will be described in this section.

Questionnaire. The questionnaire had 12 questions and was designed to gather general demographic information that was crucial to understanding the participant, such as gender, age, and where they attended college. As these categories were standardized across each participant, a questionnaire was the most efficient way to gather data.

Interview protocols. Interviews were the second form of data collection. The protocol questions were developed using the research questions, conceptual framework, and literature on first-generation students and guilt.

Two interviews were conducted to gather the participants’ stories about guilt they faced throughout their educational journey. The first interview (Appendix A) asked questions about the participant’s background and education, as well as experiences with guilt. The second interview (Appendix B) allowed an opportunity to reflect on data gathered from the first interview and feelings or thoughts that may have come up after the last interview. This interview revisited the same topics as the first interview for clarification and elaboration on their initial responses. As narrative inquiry looks deeply into the participants’ stories, it is common for two to three interviews to take place per participant.

The literature played a large role in the development of questions. Based on what is known about first-generation college students, the questions were formulated.

Research Questions

The primary question that drove this study was, “What role does guilt play in the higher education journey of Latino/a first-generation college students?” Additional questions included the following:

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Research Question 1: What tools and strategies do they use to manage the role it plays? Research Question 2: In what ways does guilt negatively influence their higher education journey? Research Question 3: How do they achieve academic success?

Procedures

Interviews were conducted in person for the four participants in Southern California, and for two who were located in Illinois and Idaho, interviews were conducted using Skype. The in-person interviews were conducted in homes, places of work, and an empty backroom of a restaurant. Each participant was interviewed twice. Each inter- view took roughly 1 to 1.5 hr and was conducted 2 weeks apart from each other.

The data collected from these interviews were transcribed by a professional tran- scription service. Guided by the conceptual framework in the first cycle of coding (Saldana, 2009), each transcript was then coded using the theoretical codes: academ- ics, college, community, elite, family, guilt, key phrases, motivation, pride, and racism. In the second cycle of coding, each of the theoretical codes was scrutinized to identify categories reflecting nuances within the theoretical codes.

Data Analysis

As stated by Clandinin and Connelly (2000), there is no one way to analyze narrative data and there are no one particular steps to be taken because it is a continuous process of reviewing and revising. However, what is recommended is to spend hours reading and rereading all data to create a summary of the participant’s story, and then begin to narratively code by identifying important people, places, events, traditions, or feelings (Clandinin & Connelly, 2000).

In this study, the hours of reading were guided by a variation of Life Position Analysis (Martin, 2013), a procedure used in the analysis of life narratives which examines where a person is in their life, how that affects them, and how they move forward. This analysis has five steps, which were followed for this study. The first step is to look for important people, traditions, or events that are key in the study. The second is to look at the position and perspectives held by the participants at the time of different events or important times in their lives. The third is to put together themes or commonalities that are begging to become apparent. The fourth is looking at how a person perceived or handled a spe- cific situation. The fifth step is to summarize that individual’s story. Knowing that there is no one particular method or step to analyzing narrative study, the author constantly revisited the original data and tested and revised themes accordingly.

Major Findings

The findings of this study indicate that guilt does significantly influence the lives of these first-generation college student participants. Each began to feel guilt as early as

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the transition from high school to college, and most stated that the guilt continued and has never gone away. They continue to experience guilt in their lives, years after com- pleting their undergraduate degrees. For both genders, the guilt of leaving home or financial guilt was also most active when they were physically further from home. Guilt is also most apparent when knowing others, especially loved one, are suffering (Baumeister, Stillwell, & Heatherton, 1994).

The strongest guilt can be felt when individuals break away from their loved ones. This was all very relevant in this study. As Veronica remarked,

Well with my siblings, the whole idea of leaving because that was every time I left or most of the time and I just felt that I was missing out on them kind of growing up a little bit and being part of their lives on a sort of everyday basis. I mean they were guilt tripping me really hard, you know, they would write me notes while I was in college. Or you know, I love you so much, why are you going to college, like really cute things but they made me feel pretty sad. So I felt guilty in that sense.

The findings depicted that most guilt was felt between the participants and their families and was most challenging when their families were going through difficult times at home. This may also have come with the sense of helplessness and feeling that more could be done to help the family if they were closer.

Tools and Strategies to Manage Guilt

The tools and strategies that these students used to overcome their guilt or make it easier were finding ways to stay connected to their family. Although their family was a large part of why they felt guilty, their families helped them to work through their guilt. Therefore, being able to remain connected to family by phone, Skype, or visits made the feelings of guilt easier to manage.

Although unaware of what was occurring in their academic life, the participants’ families were their biggest supporters. Pedro explains this in his experience:

I have always had that and I think especially with my mom. Just to be able to tell her I have this exam coming up. I have this coming up. My dad has a third-grade education and my mom sixth grade education and I think while they couldn’t relate or give me advice on how to be able to study for something, they were always supportive. Always understanding. I would tell my mom like I have to be at the library until this time working on this stuff and “echale ganas [give it your all]” that was all I needed from them.

When the participants went home, it was often a time to tune out school and take all the time to spend with their loved ones. The literature described how parents often tried to support their children, however did not understand what they were doing (Stephens, Hamedani, & Destin, 2014), and the fact that first-generation college stu- dents are highly motivated by their families (Irlbeck, Adams, Akers Ci Burris, & Jones, 2014), which were concepts also seen in this study. Each of the participants stated their parents supported them as much as they could; however, they did not

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support them academically or financially because they did not know how or could not provide the funds. Saenz et al. (2007) described how finances played a significant role in the lives and experiences of first-generation college students, and for this study, financial difficulty often arose and made college much more difficult. One individual talked about being accepted to her dream school for college; however, that excitement was short-lived when her parents told her they could not afford that school. This was a significant challenge for this participant, who began to cry in the interview as she recalled this memory.

However, through the challenges faced by these students, all participants stated that a big part of why they continue to do what they do is for their family. Their family was a significant reason why these individuals stayed motivated, and therefore, find- ing ways to stay connected to family was a way these individuals achieved academic success.

The Negative Influence of Guilt

On how guilt negatively affects first-generation college students, with these six par- ticipants, it encouraged the question of whether they should remain in school when they knew their family needed them at home. This idea of leaving school was espe- cially hard when they missed their family, felt a need to support their family, or felt their family physically needed them home to care for the ill or younger siblings. Most of the students stated they considered leaving their institution to go back home or to transfer to an institution closer to home. Ariana actually transferred to another univer- sity to be closer to her family. According to Orbe (2004), being a first-generation col- lege student was a big part of the individual’s identity and it was true in terms of these participants. The fact that they were the first in their family to go to college was some- thing that became a big part of who they were and how they experienced college. Christina described how hard it was when she realized that her college experience was going to be more challenging than her peers as she had to work and she was constantly going home on the weekends to see her family.

The concern on how to support family is also a challenge. The participants often stated they felt helpless at times because they were physically away from home and could not provide their family the attention and support they could if they were home. These students had family members who were incarcerated, another whose father suf- fered a heart attack and could no longer work, another whose father who was close to being paralyzed due to a work injury, another who left a mother to care for her four younger siblings, and another whose parents were about to lose their home to foreclo- sure. This all brought upon guilt for going to school while their families struggled at home. Along with this guilt came feelings of selfishness. The five participants who physically left home for school stated at some point they felt as if they were selfish for going to school while their families were dealing with problems at home. Pedro remembered overhearing a side comment his aunt made in Spanish, which he trans- lated as, “look at him, his father suffers a heart attack and he goes off and leaves.” Xavier felt responsible for their parents’ debt and almost losing their home. After her father’s work accident, Ariana stated she constantly debated whether to turn down her

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graduate school acceptance for the best program in the country for Anthropology because it was so far away from home. She said she had to make the selfish decision to accept and attend that program knowing she was leaving her father.

Another negative aspect for the participants was being seen as different from their family or no longer belonging in their community. When looking at the notion achieve- ment guilt which is described as guilt for having more education than their parents or the rest of their family (Covarrubias & Fryberg, 2015), this was also something that was present among the participants. Jacinto stated he felt guilty for needing to “dumb down” his conversation with his parents. He also felt guilty for living in two different worlds, unable to merge the two worlds together (London, 1989). Xavier also said his cousin teased him and his sister for claiming that they thought they were better because they went to college. Christina stated,

I talked to my parents pretty regularly and I went home a lot so I felt pretty connected to them. There was a lot about my life that they didn’t understand but that is how it always was. That wasn’t different. I think that was always because they didn’t understand my education from the beginning, but the fact that they didn’t understand college. Now, what was new, was that wasn’t the case for everyone else, that was new and shocking to me. But my relationship with my family. I don’t think it has changed much.

First-generation college students who go off to college and break away from the norm of not going to college feel guilt for leaving or that they are abandoning their culture (Banks-Santilli, 2015). This was present and caused anxiety in the participants as many stated they did not want to feel different than their community. Pedro and Jacinto did not want their friends to know they were in a doctorate program due to the feeling of not being able to relate anymore.

The participant felt they should not be successful because of their family back- grounds and the neighborhoods they came from. They also stated to have anxiety for being different and a fear of no longer belonging to their community. The participants also stated they felt attacked and ridiculed for going to college and thinking they were better. Although no one stated they felt depressed, the participants stated they were sad, concerned, and often cried for the situation they were in, for feeling guilty.

Academic Success

Participants achieved academic success by staying motivated. A significant motiva- tion for each of them to stay in school was to give back to their community. Each had their own way of giving back to their community; they valued their community and knew the need was great for them to educate others. Similarly, Easley, Bianco, and Leech (2012) found that first-generation students feel that the best way to bring honor and show how much they care is by supporting their families and giving back to their communities. Family was another motivation and wanting to make their parents proud. Jacinto stated his mom loved graduations and he felt she was living through her children when she attended their graduations. Therefore, he wants to get his doc- torate for his mom.

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Another key characteristic of academic success was the notion of being selfish. In the Latino/a community, the idea of family and being together is taught and val- ued. Being independent and doing what was best for them can be seen as selfish; this is often unheard of in the Latino/a community. As Christina stated, “I battle that guilt of feeling selfish,” which is putting her needs over the needs of her family. Although more research needs to be done on this topic, Stephens et al. (2014) found that the colleges value students who are independent, so maybe there is something about students who are more independent than others tend to do better and are more successful.

Conclusion

The educational journey of the first-generation Latino/a college students in this study was profoundly influenced by guilt. Guilt came in different forms for different rea- sons, including physically leaving home, financial shortfalls, educational opportunity, and feeling different from others in their communities. The tools and strategies that were used to overcome, lessen, or control the guilt were finding ways to connect to family, whether it was by phone, Skype, or planning visits. The negative aspects of guilt are that it can create self-doubt about whether the individual deserves to be there or should be there when their family and community are not with them. The feelings of guilt can make the college-going process much more difficult because individuals may not be able to fully concentrate on their academics due to the concerns of family or feelings of needing to be home. However, academic success for these six individu- als came from staying motivated by aspiring to support their family and community and to make them proud.

Discussion

We as Latino/as are taught that no matter what, the family always comes first and we can never put our needs first. This study looked at Latino/a students who pursued their dreams of going to college and felt guilty for meeting their needs over those of their family. These feelings of guilt for what some described as “selfish” are something we as researchers need to explore more as it may be a reason why Latino/a students are not pursing higher education. There needs to be more knowledge to inform the Latino/a community about the importance of a college education and that it is OK to be “self- ish” and go to college.

Implications

An implication is that families are not very involved in the academic aspect of their college student’s life. This can be due to family/parents being unfamiliar with college and therefore choosing to not participate in the academic aspect. Colleges themselves may not be familiar with this notion of guilt among first-generation college students, which, in turn, leads to a lack of adequate support for these individuals. Colleges and universities may not be aware of the importance of families for these students, and

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therefore, they do not encourage parent participation, which then increases guilt among students.

Recommendations for the Future

Through this study, it is evident that more needs to be done to better support Latino/a first-generation college students, as well as find ways to better educate and involve their families in their educational journey. The section below provides recommenda- tions for both practice and research to improve ways of supporting these individuals.

Practice. For institutions of higher education, there needs to be more in place that requires colleges to allow more opportunities for parents to get involved, as well as educating and diversifying their employees. For parents of first-generation college students, it is important that they have the opportunity to participate in their child’s college life and see what their child is doing outside the home. There should be days where parents are invited to spend a day with their child to attend classes and eat at a dining hall, to truly get a feel for what their child experiences as a college student. Faculty can invite their students’ parents to class and allow them to personally experi- ence what their child goes through as they go to college. Faculty can also do a better job of using narrative to better support their students’ learning, especially if that fac- ulty is also a first-generation college student or struggled through college. To get a better understanding of who their students are, they can ask them to share their narra- tive and what their world is like both in and out of school. The faculty can also share their story in hopes of better supporting their students.

Institutions of higher education need to be more welcoming to first-generation col- lege students and their parents, and it is important that they do so by implementing the employee trainings on how to work with all students of all backgrounds, as well as diversifying its workforce. First-generation college students feel more comfortable with people who have similar backgrounds, and therefore, there needs to be more staff and faculty who can identify with the students (Orbe, 2004).

Recommendation for research. What is known is that first-generation college students are not entering and graduating at the same rate as traditional college students. There is also evidence to show that first-generation college students face challenges unlike the traditional college student, and the idea of guilt is often felt by many first-genera- tion college students. However, there needs to be more research on guilt in first-gen- eration college students, as well as focusing on other college populations, such as low-income students, other students of color, and White students. There are a few articles that talk about the guilt of going to college; however, there are very few arti- cles that actually discuss the impact of guilt in depth. It is important to understand how guilt plays a role in the lives of all students, to help educators and scholars better understand what the students are going through and to address it in research, policy, and practice. Also, as mentioned before, more needs to be looked at in terms of Latino/a first-generation college students and the idea of being selfish and independent and whether that can determine the success of students.

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Appendix A

Interview Protocol 1

My research questions (for a reference)

•• What role does guilt play in the higher education journey of first-generation college students? || What tools and strategies do they use to manage the role it plays? || In what ways does survivor guilt negatively influence their higher education

journey? || How do they achieve academic success?

Meeting 1

1. Please tell me about your family a. What was it like growing in your family?

•• Were there any specific traditions or customs that stand out? b. Were there typical roles for each member? c. Was money ever a concern in your family? If so, how? d. What were the expectations regarding education? (performance, going to

college)

2. Let’s turn to your community now. a. Describe the demographics of your neighborhood (Were they a certain

ethnic background?) b. What did young people do for fun/work in your neighborhood? c. What did your peers plan to do after high school/beyond school age? d. How frequently did people go to college in your neighborhood? Why/why

not? e. Did you know of people who went to college? Who were they?

3. Please tell me about your K-12 experience a. Your earliest memories b. What was that experience like? c. How involved were your parents in your K-12 experience? d. When did you decide you wanted to go to college? e. Where did you get your information about college? f. Can you identify any early motivations that led you to go to college? What

were they? g. Where did you find the most support? h. How did your family feel about your desire to go to college?

•• Who supported this idea? Who did not? Why? Now looking specifically at high school

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i. Did you notice others in your grade not interested in college? Who were they and why do you think that is?

j. Did you feel that you were taking different classes or more honors or advanced placement (AP) classes than the rest of your class?

k. When you saw that those who were not taking AP classes and honors did not go to college, did it make you feel anything?

l. Do you feel your high school prepared you for college?

4. Looking back, do you feel your family’s socioeconomic status played a role in your K-12 education or preparing for college? a. In your opinion, do you feel you experienced any racism in your K-12

experience. If so, please explain?

5. How would you describe your overall journey through college? a. How did you choose your college? a. Tell me what you expected college to be like? b. And—how did the reality match up to your expectations? c. Were you involved on campus. If so, how? d. Did you work while in college? What did you do? e. How often did your family visit you or accompany you to a college event?

•• When they did visit you, how did it make you feel? f. How did your college experience affect your interactions and relationships

with your family?

6. Was going “home” any different for you after entering college? a. Did family members look or talk to you any different after you entered

college? i. Did they see you as “better?” b. Did your perspective or feelings of “home” change after entering college? c. Did you talk to your family about your education?

7. When do you remember first experiencing guilt over pursuing your educa- tional goals? a. How did it make you feel? b. Did you ever talk to anyone about it? c. At any point, do you feel it may have hindered you or maybe considered

leaving school due to those feelings? d. How did you overcome those feelings? e. Did the feelings ever affect your academics? f. How were you able to overcome the guilt in terms of affecting your

academics? g. Did those feelings emerge again when considering graduate school? h. Are those feelings still present? i. What tools or strategies do you use to manage those feelings?

228 Journal of Hispanic Higher Education 20(2)

8. What made you pursue more education after college? a. Tell me what you expected graduate school to be like? b. And—how did the reality match up to your expectations? c. Were you involved on campus. If so, how? d. Did you work while in graduate school? What did you do? e. How often does/did your family visit you or accompany you to a graduate

school event? f. How did/does your graduate experience affect your interactions and rela-

tionships with your family?

8. What do you think has been your biggest motivation as you went through and completed college and graduate school?

9. What has been your proudest moment in your educational journey?

Appendix B

Interview Protocol 2

1. We discussed a lot about your educational journey in our last session, did any new ideas or thoughts come up after our last meeting?

2. How has your educational journey affected your relationships with your fam- ily? Friends? Community?

3. Going back to the notion of guilt, how often was it felt and why do you feel you felt guilty? a. Was there a time that you felt the most guilt (your decision to go to col-

lege, leaving for the first time, coming back home)? b. Was the feelings of guilt always present or would come and go? c. Did you ever talk to anyone about the guilt? d. Did it ever make you feel alone, depressed, or prevent you from doing

work? e. How did you handle your guilt and what would you recommended for oth-

ers who may also be feeling guilty?

4. Going back to education, what is your opinion on why there are low amounts of individuals of color going to college?

5. Looking back at it now, how do you feel your ethnicity might have played a role in your educational experience? a. Not given certain classes b. Little time with the counselors c. Not taken serious by college recruiters

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6. In your opinion, do you feel you experienced any racism in college. If so, please explain? a. By other students? b. Staff and faculty? c. The institution?

7. Looking at your experiences as a student, do you feel things would have been different if you were a White student pursing higher education? a. What do you feel would have been different?

8. Do you feel certain groups experience racism in education? a. If so, do you feel that racism is out in the open or more hidden? b. How does it affect students of color in terms of education? c. How do you feel it affected others who did not go to college?

9. Do you feel more or less connected to your ethnic culture after attending col- lege? Why?

10. Has your time in college changed your perspective on the cultural norms of your upbringing? (nutrition, education, family dynamic)

Wrap-Up

1. Do you recommend college to others in your community? 2. Are there any additional comments you would like to share about your college

experience in relation to your family and culture?

Declaration of Conflicting Interests

The author(s) declared no potential conflicts of interest with respect to the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Funding

The author(s) received no financial support for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

ORCID iD

Rosean Moreno https://orcid.org/0000-0002-5632-4245

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Author Biography

Rosean Moreno is also a first generation college student who felt it was important to reaserch this population. Rosean graduated from the University of California, San Diego with a BA in Human Development and from California State University, Fullerton with a MS in Educational Administration and California State University, Long Beach with a Docotrate in Education. She is currently teaching Human Development at a community college.