Zen Buddhism final 1

Kōan CASE #23

Diver Clara Leaves the Board POINTER Tied down by fear we achieve nothing. Tied down by bravery we achieve something. Tied down by nothing we achieve everything. Though one cannot simply “feel nothing”. Nothing is something. All athletes of an athlete-mind are cowards. All athletes of an athlete-mind are brave. However, athletes of no mind achieve the impossible. As a test, I cite this; look! CASE When Clara arrived at practice, she knew what challenges awaited her and approached her coach Dave seeking guidance. Coach Dave, teaching his fearful diver Clara1, said “Do not overthink” To which Clara responded with examining his words thoroughly2. Thus, the Coach said “Relax” To which Clara responded with a pounding heart. Thus, the Coach said and repeated, “Get out of your head, crawl out of your expectation, let go of anticipation.” To which Clara responded with a dive3. VERSE

A cowardice diver faces a challenge Trying for bravery She feels only more fear of failure

The knowledgeable coach sends the diver’s mind beyond Knowing not bravery nor fear She feels only the perfect rip4 of the water

COMMENTARY ON VERSE

A cowardice diver faces a challenge Trying for bravery She feels only more fear of failure

The amateur diver Clara comes across a scary trial in her sport. In the face of fear, she searches for bravery in her coach’s advice. Instead, this search yields only more fear of messing up. To find bravery and fear is to not find success.

1 How silly! Cowardice in a sport such as this. 2 In which one says not to look, one looks. 3 Being her first time, no doubt it was a most perfect belly flop. 4 A ‘rip’ is the entry of a splash-less dive

The knowledgeable coach sends the diver’s mind beyond No longer conflicted Knowing not bravery nor fear She feels only the perfect rip4 of the water

The understanding coach offers advice and takes the diver out of her overwhelming thoughts. This leads the diver to leave behind an internal battle. To not feel the bravery nor fear tugging one in opposite directions is to best the conflict at hand. To best the conflict at hand is to feel nothing but entry into the water. CAPPING PHRASE When Clara arrived at practice, she knew what challenges awaited her and approached her coach Dave seeking guidance. The athlete arrives ready to learn. She seeks a way through and approaches her coach for the entryway. A pity to not know how to proceed! Coach Dave, teaching his fearful diver Clara, said “Do not overthink” To which Clara responded with examining his words thoroughly. Thought climbs into the entryway and blocks it, looming. Her coach offers a way through, but the entryway is filled. What difference is there between one’s head and a way through? Thus, the Coach said “Relax” To which Clara responded with a pounding heart. Next, the body stands in the entryway, preventing passage. The coach gives her a clear route, but the gate is blocked. How can such a large physical barrier be moved? Thus, the Coach said and repeated, “Get out of your head, crawl out of your expectation, let go of anticipation.” To which Clara responded with a dive. At last! The diver understands the truth. To be of a mind and body of bravery or fear is to be tied to expectations. To be of no mind nor body at all is to leave the diving board. Seeing this, the diver jumps. Success is found! SELF REFLECTION

Writing a Kōan was an enjoyable and educational experience. However, there were many challenges I faced in completing this project. The first challenge I met with this assignment was choosing what to write about. There have been many moments in which I’ve learned valuable life lessons. However, I cannot quantify many of these experiences easily in a single interaction. For example, I learned the importance of pushing myself from my gymnastics coaches and the

value of finding joy in academics, but these were not single, profound moments of understanding. Instead, these examples of learning occurred over years of following and mimicking my coaches and parents before I realized the value of these practices for myself. I also had to rack my brain for a life lesson that I had learned more recently because the ones I remembered from my childhood were hazy and not as detailed in my memory as more recent experiences. I overcame these challenges by looking at my time as a diver because I have found many of my instantaneous moments of profound understanding occur in my experiences as an athlete, and I started diving recently (in the last four years).

Secondly, I found it incredibly difficult to convey the enlightening experience. Although I understand what it is like to leave behind mental and physical inhibitors, essentially going “out of body,” when faced with a terrifying challenge, it was quite tricky to capture this experience’s full depth in writing. In order to convey the frustrating, emotional struggle I felt while facing the challenging dive, I focused on the two main tangible aspects, mind (overthinking) and body (the pounding heart). This made my struggle understandable to an audience that is likely unfamiliar with the situation I describe. To display the “out of body” experience, I included ideas of detachment from mind and body in the coach’s last piece of advice. In response, I dive, thus showing this spontaneous understanding without actually describing what it was like internally. Thus conveying that I am no longer attached to physical and mental expectations of the challenge. Instead, I show myself accomplishing the dive, with no strings to cognitive or physical feelings attached. Although this allowed me to capture the “out of body” experience, I still found myself unable to convey the more profound meaning in words; this is understandable through experience alone.

The final challenging aspect of this project was writing the capping phrase. I struggled with this portion of the assignment because I had to write as if I was an outside reader of the Kōan and emulate the language and reactionary aspects of the Zen capping phrase style. Writing from a different perspective challenged me to include a new and different interpretation of my Kōan. To accomplish this, I emulated examples given to me by Prof. Hayes, shortened the interpretations I had already written, and thought outside of the box to add catchy interjections.

After writing my Kōan, I showed my mom (who has not studied nor practiced Zen Buddhism) the pointer, notes, and case I had written and asked her what she thought it meant. My mother interpreted this story as representative of a “leap of faith” in which one relies on confidence in themselves and their coach/teacher to face the unknown. I found this incredibly interesting because, with little knowledge of Zen Buddhism, she has described the master- disciple relationship that we studied. As we discussed in this class, the disciple’s pathway to enlightenment often involves the master “pulling the rug” out from under the disciple. The master continually builds up the disciple, making them feel as though they understand the Kōans and are close to enlightenment, before breaking them down, by making them feel as though they know very little and are far from awakening. To get through this process, the disciple must have a certain trust and confidence in themselves and their master, no matter how many times they fail. I find this interpretation of my Kōan fascinating because when I chose this diving example, I was thinking more about emptiness as the primary Zen element, rather than this coach-athlete relationship. Seeing this now clearly highlighted in my own awakening experience, I now understand why the master-disciple line of trust is so ingrained in Zen.

This project has also demonstrated the gap between experience and text in Kōans and other religious texts that seek to capture moments of enlightenment. As I mentioned before, conveying the moment where my profound understanding clicked was a struggle, and even what

I did manage to get across was shallow, not managing to describe the depth of the experience. It is because of this split that Zen claims to be a tradition beyond the written word. Understanding must occur experientially, not indirectly through text. However, reading and studying Kōans can help people on their path towards enlightenment by giving them an idea of what an awakening experience might look like for them. Although before I knew that written pieces could not fully convey profound individual experiences, writing my own Kōan showed me that this gulf, between experience and text, is much wider than I had thought. Thus, Zen is both a written and transcendent tradition.