mmf responds4

Benjamin Szumskyj

Meaning-Making Forum 4

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Meaning-Making Forum 4

[Posting early as I will be away all next week on my Honeymoon :)]

 

 

Rapport and Relational Alignment

In entering the fourth counselling session, Melissa has become more centered and has allowed healing to take place, in order to reveal her true inner being and thoughts (cf. Kollar, p.80-81). As such, she is maintaining her willing position (Kollar, p.86). In response to this, we keep things simple (Petersen 2015, p.50). Melissa is an “S” Type Behavior and according to the Professional/Leadership DISC Profile, her needs are stability and support.

 

Phase Four Distinctive Features

Purpose: In establishing a path of healing that will honor her passing friend’s memory, for Melissa to support the Murakami family alongside her husband and direct them towards God for completeness and healing as she has done (Nichols, p.37) and His people, the church, for ongoing support.

Goal: To establish the goal of reconnecting Melissa with the local church, one that will re-establish the authority of God, her husband, church and family in her life (cf. Kollar, p. 125). Hebrews 10:25 will be helpful here.

Chief Aim: For Melissa to maintain a balance between rest and routine (Clinton and Hawkins, p. 133). We will reiterate that solutions are co-created (Kollar, p. 76-77). We will again talk through the model of authority in her life and how that also shapes her understanding of sources of strength. Her integrating into a spiritual community will help with this.

Role: My role is to direct Melissa to the one alone who can not only heal here and have her overcome this season of life but sustain it; God. For her to love Him with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength and in doing so, love others, namely the Murakami family (cf. Matthew 22:37-40).

Guiding Assumptions: God has been Melissa’s Shepherd and has been by her side all the way. That He has been lying her down in green pastures, beside quiet water, restoring her soul, guiding her in the paths of righteousness and with her in this valley of the shadow of death (Psalm 23:1-5). That His grace is enough (2 Corinthians 12:9; cf. Kollar, p.63). She is not meant to be a lone Christian, but a communal Christian.

 

Supportive Feedback Break

 

Positive encouragement will take place, reminding Melissa that time is a powerful ally in the healing process (cf. Clinton and Hawkins, p.133). Melissa also needs to experience empathy from me, genuineness and especially warmth (Petersen, p.248).

 

Phase 4 Marker

At this phase, we want to ensure that we focus solely on what is good and right in Melissa’s life (Kollar, 2011, p. 84). While there is still healing, and direction needed, it is important for her to articulate how God has been working in her life during the counselling sessions. Melissa will be encouraged to write a memorial poem as a testament to God encountering her (cf. Genesis 35:7) and highlight that He sees her as a masterpiece. She will be given a copy of Ken Nichols Masterpiece: Seeing yourself as God’s work of art changes everything! and start reading it in her personal time.

 

Food for Thought

At this stage, having dealt with her own loss, with Bruce Murakami’s support, Melissa and her husband will prayerfully consider mentoring and having an open relationship with Brody (Kollar, p.85). She must realize that Brody had to grieve in his own way (Clinton & Hawkins, p. 127).

 

It would be good for Melissa to connection with a Women’s Group at the local church at some time in the future, most likely, after the counseling sessions.

 

 

 

 

References

Clinton, T., & Hawkins, R. The Quick-Reference Guide to Biblical Counseling. Grand Rapids,

MI: Baker Academic, 2009.

Harrison, John K. Crossroads: A Story of Forgiveness. Hallmark Hall of Fame Productions,

Inc., 2007. Retrieved from  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcpdg5VAGmA

Nichols, K. Masterpiece: Seeing yourself as God’s work of art changes everything!

Forest, VA: ALIVE Ministries, 2017.

Kollar, Charles.  Solution-Focused Pastoral Counseling: An Effective Short-Term Approach

for Getting People Back on Track.  Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2011.

Petersen, J. C. Why don’t we listen better? Communicating & connecting in relationships (2nd

ed.). Portland, OR: Petersen Publications, 2015.

Professional/Leadership DISC Profile.

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