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http://humanresources.about.com/od/workrelationships/a/boss_relations.htm

How to Get Along With Your Boss

By Susan M. Heathfield

At one point or another in your career, you will report to a manager, the person you fondly - or

not - call boss. The relationships that you create and manage, with both your immediate boss,

and other company employees, are critical for your work success and career progress.

And, face it, whether you like it or not, you're in charge of your relationship with your boss. No

one will ever share as much concern as you do that the quality of the relationship helps you

achieve your goals. At the same time, your boss has information that you need to succeed. He

can't do his job or accomplish his goals without your help.

So, your manager shares a critical interdependence with you. If you don't accomplish your work,

your manager will never shine for his or her overall responsibilities. You won't progress without

the information, perspective, experience, and support of your manager.

Despite knowing this, managers do come in every size and with all possible levels of skill and

effectiveness. Some managers are just plain bad bosses; others are unaware of what you need

from them. Managing up is challenging, but ultimately, worth your time.

How to Develop an Effective Relationship With Your Boss These steps will help you develop a positive, ongoing, supportive relationship with your boss - a

relationship that serves you well, your manager well, and, as a consequence, your organization

well.

 The first step in managing up is to develop a positive relationship with your boss.

Relationships are based on trust.

Do what you say you'll do. Keep timeline commitments. Never blind side your manager

with surprises that you could have predicted or prevented. Keep her informed about your

projects and interactions with the rest of the organization.

Tell the boss when you've made an error or one of your reporting staff has made a

mistake. Cover-ups don't contribute to an effective relationship. Lies or efforts to mislead

always result in further stress for you as you worry about getting "caught" or somehow

slipping up in the consistency of your story. Communicate daily or weekly to build the

relationship.

Get to know your manager as a person - she is one, after all. She shares the human

experience, just as you do, with all of its joys and sorrows.

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 Recognize that success at work is not all about you; put your boss's needs at the center

of your universe. Identify your boss's areas of weakness or greatest challenges and ask

what you can do to help. What are your boss's biggest worries; how can your contribution

mitigate these concerns?

Understand your boss's goals and priorities. Place emphasis in your work to match her

priorities. Think in terms of the overall success of your department and company, not just

about your more narrow world at work.

 Look for and focus on the "best" parts of your boss; just about every boss has both

good points and bad. When you're negative about your boss, the tendency is to focus on

his worst traits and failings. This is neither positive for your work happiness nor your

prospects for success in your organization.

Instead, compliment your boss on something he does well. Provide positive recognition

for contributions to your success. Make your boss feel valued. Isn't this what you want

from him for you?

 Your boss is unlikely to change; she can choose to change, but the person who shows up

to work every day has taken years and years of effort on her part to create. And, who your

boss is has worked for her in the past and reinforced her actions and beliefs.

Instead of trying to change your boss, focus instead, on trying to understand your

boss's work style. Identify what she values in an employee. Does she like frequent

communication, autonomous employees, requests in writing in advance of meeting, or

informal conversation as you pass in the hallway. Your boss's preferences are important

and the better you understand them, the better you will work with her.

 Learning how to read your boss's moods and reactions is also a helpful approach to

communicate more effectively with him. There are times when you don't want to

introduce new ideas; if he is preoccupied with making this month's numbers, your idea

for a six month improvement may not be timely.

Problems at home or a relative in failing health affect each of your workplace behaviors

and openness to an improvement discussion. Additionally, if your boss regularly reacts in

the same way to similar ideas, explore what he fundamentally likes or dislikes about your

proposals.

 Learn from your boss. Although some days it may not feel like it, your boss has much

to teach you. Appreciate that she was promoted because your organization found aspects

of her work, actions, and/or management style worthwhile.

Promotions are usually the result of effective work and successful contributions. So, ask

questions to learn and listen more than you speak to develop an effective relationship

with your boss.

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 Ask your boss for feedback. Let the boss play the role of coach and mentor.

Remember that your boss can't read your mind. Enable him to offer you recognition for

your excellent performance. Make sure he knows what you have accomplished. Create a

space in your conversation for him to praise and thank you.

 Value your boss's time. Try to schedule, at least, a weekly meeting during which you are

prepared with a list of what you need and your questions. This allows him to accomplish

work without regular interruption.

 Tie your work, your requests, and your project direction to your boss's and the

company's overarching goals. When making proposals to your boss, try to see the larger

picture. There are many reasons why your suggestion may not be adopted: resources,

time, goals, and vision. Maintain strict confidentiality.

 In your relationship with your boss you will sometimes disagree and occasionally

experience an emotional reaction. Don't hold grudges. Don't make threats about

leaving. Disagreement is fine; discord is not. Get over it. You need to come to terms with

the fact that your boss has more authority and power than you do. You are unlikely to

always get your way.

Use these tips to build a powerfully effective relationship with your boss.

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https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/article/20141012174620-22475569-when-how-to-disagree-with-the-boss?trk=tod-home-art-list-small_2

When & How to Disagree With the Boss

Oct 12 2014

Paul Glover; Co-Founder at DICE-T

One of the frequent questions I’m asked by the managers/leaders I coach is “How do I

effectively disagree with my boss?” Knowing how to disagree with your boss, and not commit

career suicide, is an essential skill set and falls under the category of learning to “manage up.”

While most managers/leaders are able to manage down – at least a majority of the time- being

able to effectively “manage up” is a much more difficult for the obvious reason: the boss not

only has significant control over the day to day operation and can make a subordinate’s work life

miserable but they also exercise considerable influence over a subordinate’s future with the

company. Therefore, -duh- making the boss an enemy is never a good career move.

However, with that said, it is a manager’s/leader’s obligation, to both their boss and the

organization, to have a well thought out opinion about situations/issues/problems, that is

supported by facts and gut instinct, and then to timely and effectively express that opinion to

their boss – even if it is not the opinion held by the boss. Failing to do this is a disservice to the

boss, whose opinion might be changed if they heard a well thought out and appropriately

expressed different point of view, and a failure to properly represent the organization that gives

them a paycheck. So, my counsel is: once your opinion has been formulated you should not

change that opinion or be reluctant to express it just because the boss disagrees or may not like it.

However, how you deliver your opinion is paramount to having your opinion heard without

having potentially toxic fallout. So, before you inadvertently commit career suicide, consider

these Rules for disagreeing with the Boss and surviving the experience:

1. Never disrespect your Boss! Regardless of how vehemently you disagree with your Boss, always treat him/her with the respect due them as a person and as the person

holding the position of authority and responsibility. Conversely, you are entitled to that

same degree of respect from your Boss.

2. Never disagree with your Boss in public! Unless you want to get fired. Or your judgment is so impaired you should get fired!

3. Express your disagreement directly to your Boss! When you disagree with the Boss, immediately take that disagreement directly to the Boss. Don’t express your disagreement

with your Boss to your team or co-workers. This behavior serves no legitimate purpose

because: 1. Only the Boss can change his/her opinion, 2. The person you are complaining

to may tell the Boss you are complaining about them, and 3. Your complaining will erode

the team’s morale.

4. Choose the right time to disagree with the Boss! We all react with varying degrees of defensiveness when facing disagreement. And the higher the stress level at the time of the

disagreement, the less likely the reasons for the disagreement will be properly heard.

Disagreeing with your Boss in the middle of a presentation or client meeting serves no

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purpose since the Boss will seldom react in a positive manner. Disagree only when there

is an opportunity for you to talk to the Boss about the basis for the disagreement.

5. Don’t make the disagreement personal! Make the disagreement about the Boss and you vs. the problem and not the Boss vs. you. Be professional, objective, constructive and -

above all - respectful as you express the reason for disagreeing. And offer alternative

solutions along with the disagreement.

6. Be sure the Boss can handle your disagreement! Some Bosses don’t want any opposition or disagreement, regardless of how poorly they are managing a situation. If

the seriousness of the situation warrants it, go to your Boss’s Boss to raise the issue that

provides the basis for your disagreement. Remember, you ultimately owe your allegiance

to the organization and not your Boss. Nobody above your Boss? Or nobody above your

Boss who will listen? See Rule # 7 below.

7. It may be time to leave! If you follow these Rules and are not heard, it may be time to quit working for your Boss.

Any other advice for disagreeing with your Boss and living to tell about it?