Writing Assignment: write Persuasive Message with Visual
PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES q
LEARNING OUTCOMES
L01 Analyze a persuasive situation
L02 Discuss persuasive strategies
L03 Explain how to organize sales messages
L04 Discuss sales a nd fundraising strategy
LOS Describe strategy in rack cards and brochures
L06 Devise a writing style for sales and fundraising
AN INSIDE PERSPECTIVE *
Growing up in a si ngle-parent family on Sweetgrass Rrst Nation , Kendal Netmaker had few of the advantages many can count on when they navigate schooling and careers. Instead he found inspiration in the generosity of a f riend ("neechie" is the Cree word for f riend). That f riend 's family quite literall y helped change Netmaker's life by paying registrations and supplying a vehicle so that Netmaker could play the sports in which he so clearly excelled-and go on to win a sports scholarship, complete university. and found his award·winning company. Neechie Gear®. "Whatever hardships y ou go through. as long as you have a vision for y our goals." says Netmaker, "anything is possible."
Kendal Netmaker's life story is deeply embedded in t he success of Neechie, which g ives 5% of profits t o his non-profit NG Athletics Club or kids' sports groups so that the underprivileged can play sports and learn leadership . Natu rally shy, Netmaker had to learn to pitch his vision in student and other competitions. which al lowed him to take his dorm·room business to store-front visibi lity. With no business training. he was able to persuade role models to mentor him to develop his business plan. Now he f inds t hat "the more I tell my story. the more it's heard," the stronger his brand becomes, and the g reat er the customer loyalty.
Founder and CEO of the atllletic brand Neechle Gea;'>, Kendal Netmaker, was heralded as a 2016 change agent by Canadian Business and received an lnstagram shout out post from Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Source: Courtesy of Kendal Netmaker.
Now he gives mot ivational speeches around the country . He also founded Netmaker Academy, an online program to train young entrepreneurs, because he has " seen what impact entrepreneurs can have, and r m t rying to grow that th roughout Canada." He sha res his own learning about investing "in a personal brand for your company." He has " become t he f ace of [his] brand, and every time I get a chance, I'm wearing my stuff. I'm fielding sales everywhere I go."
*Based on Neechi Gear. " Our Story; accessed January 31, 2017, https:/ ;www.neechiegear.com/ pages/ our·story; • Neechi Gear Founder Captures National Business Award, .. CBC News, February 5, 2015, accessed http/ ;www.cbc.cajnews/ canadajsaskatoonjneechie-<Jear-founder-<:aptures·national·business-award·1.2q46546; Sarah Nieboda, "Change Agents 2016: Kendal Netmaker, Neechie Gear," Canadian Business, October 13, 2016, accessed http:/ ;www.canadianbusiness. comjinnovationjchange-agentjkendal·netmaker-neechie-<Jearj ; Francois Biber, · Justin Trudeau Gives Shout Out to Sask. Entrepreneurover lnstagram." CBC News, Apri 125, 2016. accessed http:; fwww .cbc.ca; news; c anada/ saskatoon; saskatoon· business-justin·trudeau-1.3551213; Claire Brownell, "How This Entrepreneur Overcame Racism, Poverty and Inexperience to Create a Brand That Gives Back; Financial Post, November 2, 2015, accessed http/ /business.financialpost.com/
Whether you're selling safety eq,uipment or pitching ideas, like Kendal Netma ker ( •• An Inside Perspective), effective persua- sion is based on accurate logic ( Chapter 1 ), effective emo- tional appeal, and credibility or tntst. Reasons have to be reasons the audience finds important; emotional appeal is based on values the a udience cares about, and credibility is in t11e eye of the beholder. ln other words, persuasive strategies and mes- sages cannot be separated from their cultural situations, ethical choices, and the genres or kinds of documents that shape and are shaped by those strategies.
In Classical Greece, Aristotle's Rhetoric promoted t11ese same elements in elaborating the art of rhetoric or persuasion:
• Pathos: appeal to values, needs, and beliefs shared audience
• Logos: appeal to sound reasoning or logic
• Ethos: a udience perception of speaker's/writer's good char- acter or credibility
In the 21st century, businesses depend more and more on persuasion and buy-in to get q,uality work done. You can
206 • PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AND EMAIL MESSAGES
command people to make widgets, but you can't command people to be creative. Even if you are ma king widgets, just going through the motions isn't enough. You want people to ma ke high-quality widgets, while reducing scrap and other costs. Internal commitment is needed to ma ke that happen.
External motivation doesn't last. Some people will buy a certain brand of pizza if they have a for 1" coupon. But if the coupon expires, or if another company offers the same deal, cus- tomers may leave. ln contrast, if customers like your pizza better, if they are motivated intemally to choose it, then you may keep your cttstomers even if another company comes in with a lower price. It was Kendal Netmaker's Neechie Gear®.s conunitment to donate 5% of profits to help tmderprivileged children play sports that drew Prime Minister Trudeau's attention and builds con- swner loyalty for a brand so closely identified with t11e founder. 1
Although all good communications involve some persua- s ion to motivate readers to read a nd respond, t11e foctts in this chapter is on the following persuasive messages:
• Orders and req,u ests • Collection letters
.. _ I I I I I
• 1 ," - " I -- ,-_ " " • , [ , j , _ " • • _l_ _.• I • .___:___ " 1o_ '-j • •
Emotional intelligence (EI) is what ena bles people to s ucceed in the workplace. Psychologist Daniel Goleman studied 181 jobs in 121 companies worldwide, separating technical skills from emo- tional competencies. The latter "competencies like ness, adaptability, and a talent fo r collaboration• were twice as important.
For high-level executive jobs, Gole man asks, "How persuasive are you? Can you get ' bu!j-in' for your ideas from the people around you? .. . Can you . .. communicate with people in terms they can unders tand and embrace?" Such •great leadership. . .. takes huge social intell igence, including a s trongly oped sense of empathy." When team work a nd social media a re
changing "the internal environment " of businesses, "fluency in people s kills is essential ."
Canadian researchers Steven Stein and Howard Book show El at work in survival s tories, sports , health, business, and law enfo rce- ment. According to their Emotional Quotient Inventory (developed by Dr. Reuven Bar .On) fi ndings, •emotional intelligence cuts across the gender gap; although women score better on social respo,. s ibility and empathy while men score better on stress tolerance.
And while they find that •core elements of emotiona l intel- ligence" are relevant to leadership, Yvonne Stys and Shelley Brown call for fu rther research on the legitimacy of El, its teach- ability, and its applicability to the Public Service of Canada.
• Based on Guy Dixon. · r ooay·s Leader Needs EQ As Much As IQ.- Reporr on Business. May 13. 2014. 812: ·About EQ website, accessed April 20. 2011, http:/ jwww.eq,edge.com/AboutThe Book.aspx; Steven J. Stein & Howard E. Book. EQ Edge: Emotional lnreiJigence and Your Success (Mississauga: John Wiley & Sons Canada. 2006}; Yvonne Stys & She lley L. Brown. "'A Review of the Emotional Intelligence Uterature and Implica tions for Corrections,- Research Brandl, Correctional Service of cana da. M arch 2 004. acce ssed April 2 0. 2011, http:/ ;www.csc-soc.gc.cajteXVrsrch/reports/r150/r150 _e.pdf: Anne Fi sher, "Success Secret: A High Emotionai iQ,- Fortune, October 26. 1 qqs. 2q3 - 2q4.
• Sales and fundraising le tters • Promotional materials (rack cards and brochures)
For proposals and reports reconunending action, see •• Chapters 10 a nd 11; for oral presentations, see •• Chapter 12; for employm ent communications , see •• Chapter 13.
All persuasive messages have several purposes.
Primary p urpos es :
• To motivate readers to read the message • To have readers act • To provide enough information so that readers know what
to do • To overcome any objections that might prevent or delay action
Seco ndary p urposes:
• To build a good image of the writer • To e nhance the reputation of the writer's organization • To cement a good relationship between the writer and readers • To reduce or eliminate f uture correspondence on the same
s ubject (or to make readers more likely to respond posi- tively next tin1e)
L01
ANALYZING A PERSUASIVE SITUATION Ch oose a persuasive strategy based on your answers to four q,u estions:
• What do you want people to do? • What obj ections, if a ny, will the a udience have?
• How strong is your case? • What kind of persuasion is best for the organization and th e
culture?
1. What Do You Want People to Do?
Iden tify the specific action you want and tl1e person who has the power to do it If your goal req,uires several steps, specify what you want your a udience to do nmv. For instance, your inunediate goal may be to have people come to a m eeting or let you m ak e a presentation, even tl1ough your long-term goal is a major sale or a chan ge in policy.
2. What Objections, If Any, Will the Aud ience Have?
If you are asking for som ething that req,uires little tin1e, mo ney, or ph ysical effort and for an action that's a rou tine part of the person's regular duties, the a udience is likely to have few obj ections. For examp le, when y ou order a product, the finn is happy to s upply it.
Often, however, you will encotmter some resistance. Peop le may be busy and may have other uses for their tim e and m oney. To be persuasive, you need to show your audience that your proposal meets their needs; you need to overcom e any obj ections.
People a re likely to be most aware of and willing to share obj ective concerns su ch as time and mone y. They will be less willing to tell you that their real objection is emotional. Readers have a ves t ed int e r est in some thing if they benefit directly from keeping things as they a re. For instance, people who a re in power have a vested interest in retaining the sys- tem that gives them their power.
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES 2 07
Isaiah Mustafa is the main character in the successful Ol d Spice viral video campaign. Source: Dave J HoganjGetty Images for Old Spice.
Both individuals and organizations have self-images. It's easier for readers to say y es when you ask for something that is consistent with that self-image. For example, Arantis p ersuaded men to buy its skin peel, Lift Off, by linking it to shaving: men who exfoliated with the product could reduce t11eir shaving time by
When Old Spice launched its YouTu be vira l video cam- paign featurin g former NFL footballer Isaiah Mustafa, or "The Man That You r Man Could Smell Like," the video struck a chord. Sales j umped 55% in three months (70% in the last four week s). The responses segment of the campaign was a three-day initiative collecting a n d answerin g fan responses on social media and attracting 35.7 million views- a n d imi- tators and parodies around the world.3 Humour added to the urge to share the c lip with others- a strategy that keeps Old Spice stories in the news and in case studies o f social media s u ccess.
Hwnour also cam e to the rescue when the lights went out at the 2012 Super Bowl. Getting in on t11e online conversation was the Oreo social media team, well-prepared its timely tweet reassuring people that, even in the dark, dllilking their favourite treat would still be possible!4 But Motrin discovered how risky h umour can be when its online ad clainting mothers looked "more official" wearing baby slings backfired. Mothers felt belittled and Jet the company know. 5
3 . How Strong Is Your Case? The strengt11 of your case is based on three aspec ts of persua - s ion: argument, credibility, and emotional appeal.
Argume nt refers to the reasons or logic you offer. Sometimes you may be able to prove con clusively t11at your solution is best. Som etimes your reasons may not be as strong, the benefits may n ot be as certain, and obstacles may be dif- ficult or impossible to overcome. For example, suppose you
208 PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AND EMAIL MESSAGES
wanted to persuade your organization to offer a tuition reinl- bursement plan for employees. You would have a strong argu- ment if you could show that tuition reinlbursement would improve the perfonn ance of marginal workers, or that reinl- bursement would be an attractive recruiting tool in a tight job ma rket. However, if dozens of fully q,ualified workers apply for every opening, your argument would be weaker. The pro- gram ntig ht be nice for workers, but it would be h ard proving it would he lp the company.
You can strengthen your a rgwnent and your credibility by accurately documenting sources in building your case. See .. Chapter 10.
Cr edibility is the audience's response to you as the source of the m essage. Credibility in the workplace has three sources: knowledge, linage, a nd relationsltips.6 Citing experts can ma ke your a rgument more credible. In some organizations, workers build credibility by getting assigned to high-profile teams. You build credibility by your track record. The more reliable you have been in the past, the more likely people are to trust you now. Building a relationship with if the relationship is based on an outside interest, such as sports or children- makes it easier for t11at person to see you as an individual a nd to trust you.
When you don 't yet have the credibility that comes f rom being an expert or being powerful, build credibility by the lan- guage and strategy you use:
• Be fa c tual. Don't exaggerate. Use concrete language and reliable statistics.
• Be s pe cific. If you say ·x is better," s how in detail how it is better. Show readers exactly where the savings or other benefits come from.
• Be r e liable. If you suspect that a project will tak e longer to complete, cost more money, or be Jess effective than you originally t11oug ht, tell your audience immediately. Negotiate a new schedule that you can meet.
Emotional a ppe al means making readers want to do what you ask. People don 't make business decisions-based on logic alone. Consumers, for instance, don't make purchasing decisions on logical grounds. TI1ey care about relationsltips with the products and services, accord- ing to marketer Marie Gennain. TI1e Four Ps of marketing- produ ct, place, price, a nd promotion- are s iJnple "lef t-brain" models, she says. Conscious memory e:\:plains only about 5% of the reasons people buy. And they have a habit of focusing attention on the competition, so that everyone ends up emulat- ing t11e competition or working too hard to be different. "It's better to be better t11an to be different," says Gennain.
Sh e is supported by the findings of Joe Calloway, author of Becoming a Category of One, who claims, "The place to dif- ferentiate is in that very personal sensory-emotional realm of what t11e customer feels." Consider Krispy Kreme's ability to sell fatty food because it frees us from t110se who would tell us whatnot to eat.7
The essence of the "WHERE AM lr' brand platform showcase& the unfamiliar side of Ontano. refying on mystery to entice contumm to diSCO'Jef a side ol Ontano
they've never seen. IT'SWOR!JNG.
29 MILLION Soctal Impressions 48 and Reactions
Partner with us in 2017 and leverage the brand.
•20l6U• Ptcl'l ttSuiiS
In stimulating the Ontario Tourism Marketing Partnership Corporation's strategy creates mystery around destinations in its "Where Am I?" campaign to entice Ontarians to guess the locations of images-and to find adventure and excitement in unfamiliar locations close to home. And the data show that !he strategy works! Source: ©Queen's Printer for Ontario. 2016. Reproduced with pennission.
Or consider McCain Foods' success after trying to per- s uade parents that their pizza product was as good as deliv- ery and better than Kraft's Delissio. Although first to market in Canada, McCain's lost ma rket share. Then the company targeted teens in a campaign that saw sales increase 25% in January 2005.8
A 2014 study presents evidence that early impressions on children by food marketing mascots and characters persist into adulthood. Biases created in children under 13 years of age by the emotional appeals of loveable characters survived well into adulthood in positive in1ages of the product and its nutrition value.9
Faced with millennia) mothers representing a 13% reduc- tion in pean ut butter purchasing in Canada, Kraft has been "humanizing" its peanut butter brand to reach an a u dience that resis ts the push of marketing messages. Instead, Kraft relied on moms responding to an "emotional story" in which the teddy bears and n ot the product were "centraL "10
a clever marketing strategy based on radio announcer Rob Calabrese's website, CBifTrurnpWins.com. CNN and Japanese television stations were among those that added to tl1e Jnstagram appeal of Cape Breton and its tmiq_ue blend of French, First Nations, and Gaelic cultures. 12
4 . What Kind of Persuasion Is Best for the Organization and the Culture?
A strategy that works in one organiza- tion may not work somewhere else. James Suchan and Ron Dulek point ou t that Digital Eq_uipment Corporation (DEC)'s corporate culture values no-holds-barred aggressiveness: "Even if opposition is expected, a subordinate should write a proposal in a forceful, direct manner. "13
However, in anotl1er organization with different cultural values, an employee who used a hard-sell strategy for a req_uest antagonized the boss. 14
In tourism and hospitality industries trying to satisfy expe- rienced and educated travellers eager to fmd new territory, Newfotmdland and Labrador Tourism ma k es the most of its tmiq,ue culture, u nspoiled land, and rich natural environment in inviting tourists with images that have been "inspiring boxes of crayons since 1497. Around here, even our colours a re more colourful.' Or, "Some pieces just won't fit inside the Guggenheim. One of the best places on earth to catch a glimpse of an iceberg.'11
Cape Breton saw its tourism numbers spike as a result of fears about a Trump election win in the United States-and
George Weston Ltd. chairman Galen Weston draws on his own cred· ibility and the logical and emotional appeals associated with Loblaws supporting canadian farmers by purchasing locally grown food. Source: The Canadian Press/ Chris Young.
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES 2 0 q
L02
USING YOUR ANALYSIS TO CHOOSE A PERSUASIVE STRATEGY If y our organization prefers a specific approach, use it. If your organization has n o preference, or if you do not know your readers' p referen ce, use the following guidelines to ch oose a strategy (see .. Chap ter 7 for routine req_uests).
Use the persuasive direct req,uest (goo d news) p a ttern (see Figure 9.1) in the fo llowing s ituations:
• You need responses only from people who will fmd it easy to do as you ask.
• Busy readers may not read all the messages they receive.
Use the indirect p ro blem-solving (bad news) p attern ( .. Figure 9.3) in the following situations :
• The a u dience ma y resist doing as y ou ask. • You expect logic to be more imp ortant than emotion in the
decision.
Use the indirect AIDA (or AlRA) p ersu asive pla n Figure 9.10) when you may have to overcome resistance (R).
The AIDA model focuses on attracting a tten tion (A), arousing interest (1) a nd desire (D) to elicit action (A). It is as relevant to p ersu asive as to sales messages (see » "How to Organize a Sales or Fundraising Letter" later in this chapter).
WRITING PERSUASIVE DIRECT REQUESTS When you q,uic k agreement, save the reader's time by p resen ting the req,uest directly (refer to Figure 9. 1 ). On e study fotmd th at executives were most likely to p ay attention to mes- sages that were p ersonalize d, evoked an emotional response, carne from a c redible sender, and were concise.15
The direct req,uest does not con tain reader benefits and does not need to overcome objections; it s intp ly asks for what is needed (see Figure 9.2).
Direct req_uests should be direct. Don't mak e the reader gu ess wha t you want.
Indirect request:
Direct request:
Is there a newer version of the 2017 Accounting Reference Manual?
If there is a newer version of the 20 17 Accounting Reference Manual, please send it to me.
In a direct req_uest, put the req,uest, the topic, or a q,uestion in the s u bject line (e.g., Req,uest for Updated Software).
In some direct req,uests, your combination of pur- poses ma y s uggest a different pattern of organization. For instan ce, in a n email askin g a n employ er to reimburse y ou for expenses a fte r a j ob interv iew, you would want to thank y our h osts for their hosp itality and cement the good imp res- sion yo u made at the interv iew. To do that, sp en d the first severa l paragraphs talking about the trip a n d the interv iew. Only in the last third of the letter would y ou p ut your req,uest for reimbursement.
WRITING PERSUASIVE PROBLEM-SOLVING MESSAGES Use an indirect a pp r oa ch and the p roblem-solving pattern of o rganization when you expect resistance from your reader but can sh ow th at doing what you want will solve a problem you and your reader share. The pattern in Figure 9.3 allows you to disarm opposition by s howing reasons in favo ur of your posi- tion before your readers can say no.
Figure 9.4 uses the problem-solving p attern of organiza- tion. Reade r benefits can be brief in this kind of message s ince the biggest benefit comes fro m solving the problem.
Figure 9.1 Pattern f or a Pe rsuasive Direct Req_uest
1. Consider asking Immediately for t he Information or service you want. Delay the request if it seems too abrupt or if you have several purposes in the message.
2 . Give readers all t he Information t hey will need t o act on your req_uest . Number your questions or set them off with bullets so readers can check that all have been answered.
In a claim (where a product is under guarantee or a shipment was defective, for instance), explain what happened . Be sure to include date of purchase , model or invoice number, and so on.
In more complicated direct requests , anticipate possible responses. Suppose you are asking for information about equ ipment meeting certa in specifications. Explain which criteria are most important so the reader can recommend an alternative if no s ingle product meets all your needs. You may also mention your price constraints and ask whether the item is in stock or must be special-ordered.
3. Ask for t he act ion you want. Do you want a cheque? A replacement? A catalogue? Answers to your questions? If you need an answer by a certain t ime, say so. If possible, show the reader why the time limit is necessary.
210 • PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AN D EMAIL MESSAGES
Figure 9.2 A Persuasive Direct Req_uest
Interoffice Memo C\...4:J' Keep each message t o one topic .
To: Michael Antonucci
From: David Anthony, Chair. BCS Suggestion Committee ,. Topic of req,uest In
subject line Date: May 15 , 2017
Suggestion #q7204
Please evaluate the attached suggestion by May 2q.
,. Put rectuest ------------j-- in 'I 1
,. Spellout sul>ctuestions Should BCS adopt it? Why or why not?
• Will it save the company money? If so. how much a year? • If the suggestion is adopted, how large an award should be given?
,. Make action easy
,. Ask for the You may put your answers and brief reasons for them at the bottom of this page -----it- acUon you want or send them to me by e-mail (anthony.37@bcs.com). Please get your response in by May 2q as the suggestion committee is meeting on May 30.
Thanks!
Catching Attention and Developing a Common Ground
,. Reason to act promptly
When you have a re luctant reade r, putting the req,uest in the subj ect line just g ets a q,uick no before y ou have had a cha nce to give all your a rgume nts. On e option is to use a dire cte d s ubj ect line that ma kes your purpose an d stance o n the issue clear. 16 In the following e xamples, the first is the most n eutral, while the remaining two increasingly reve al the writer's preference:
Subj ect: A Proposal to Change the Formula for Calculating Retirees· Benefits
In o rde r to persuade, you first need to ca tch attention by beginning with a startling fa ct or s tatistic, e ngaging q,uestion, thoug htful complintent, striking headline, or q,uotation. For e xample, instead of making a gene ral claim a bout the costs of poverty, you c ould me ntion that "every single day 30,000 c hil- dre n are dying as a result of e xtre me pove rty."
Subj ect: Why Cassano' s Should Close Its Westside Store
Subj ect: Arguments for Expand ing the Wolfville Plant
A common ground avoids the of some per- suasive situations and s uggests that both you and your a udie nce have a mutual interest in solving the problems you fa ce. The best common grounds are specific . Often a prob- lem readers will want to a good c ommon ground.
Figure 9.3 Indirect Persuasive Problem·Solving Message
1. Catch readers' Inte rest by mentioning a common ground. Show that your message will be interesting or beneficial. You may want to catch attention with a negative (which you will show can be solved).
2. Define the problem you share (which your req,uest will solve). Present the problem objectively: don' t assign blame or mention personalities. Be specific about the cost in money, t ime , and lost goodwill. Once you have convinced readers that something has to be done, you can convince them that your solution is the best one.
3. Explain the solution to the problem. If you know readers will favour another solution, start with that solution and show wh y it won't work before you present your solution. Present your solution wit hout using the words 1 or my. Don't let personalities enter the pictu re.
4 . Show that positives outweigh any negative e lements (such as cost, time, etc.).
5. Summarize any additional benefits of the solution. Present the main benefit- solving the problem- briefly, s ince you described the problem in detail. Mention any additional benefits.
6. Req,uest and motivate the action you want. Often your readers will authorize or approve something; other people will implement the action. Give readers a reason to act prompt ly , perhaps offering a new reader benefit (e.g. , "By buying now, we can avoid the next quarter's price hikes") .
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES • 2 11
Figure 9.4 A Problem-Solving Persuasive Message
,- Common ground -11-----
,- Problem - 1------ "' Specific __]------ example of
problem
,- Solution presented
imperson ally
,- Additional reader benefit
,- Ask for action
Memorandum
To: All Staff Members
From: Melissa J. Gutridge lfJ'4 Date: February 16, 2017
Subject: Why We Are Implementing a New Sign-Out System
Successfully main streaming our d ients into the community is very imponant and daily interaction with the public is necessary. Our clients enjoy the times they get to go to the mall or out to lunch instead of remaining here all day. Recently, however, clients have been taken out on activities without a staff member's knowing wtlere the client is or with whom.
We need to know where all clients are at all times because social workers, psychologists. and relatives constantly stop by unannounced. Last week Janet's father stopped by to pick her up for a doctor's appointment and she was not here. No one knew where she was. Naturally her father was very upset and wanted to know what kind of program we were running. Such situations are damaging to the good reputation of our staff and program.
Staning Monday, February 23, a sign-out board will be located by Betty's desk. Please write down where you and the d ient are going and when you expect to be back. When signing out, help clients sign themselVes out. We can turn this into a reaming experience for our clients. Then when a social worker stops by to see someone who isn't here. we can simply look at the sign-out board to tell where the client is and when he or she will return.
Please help keep up the superb reputation you have helped Community Uving earn as a quality centre for adults with disabilities. Sign out yourself and clients at all times.
"' Directed subject line indi- cates writer's position
x WEAK COMMON GROUND: Explaining the Solution to the Problem This program has had some difficulty finding enough individuals to volunteer their services for the children. As a result, we are sometimes unable to provide the one-on-one mentoring that is our goal.
V"' IMPROVED COMMON GROUND: On five Sundays in the last three months, we have had too few volunteers to provide one-on-one mentoring. Last Sunday, we had just two students to take eight children to the Museum of Science and Industry.
Defining the Problem
Include a problem description that is concise, concrete, a nd carefully targeted to your audience. In recommending a new wellness program, the following might arouse management interest
With job stress creating 60% of absen teeism , reducing productivity, and sucking the profits out of the business , a wellness program is an investment that returns $3 in cost benefits for every $1 spent.
21 2 PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AN D EMAIL MESSAGES
Avoiding judgmental language or personal references (I , me), present your solution in factual, reliable, impersonal tenns. For example, supply figures to support your claims about profits being sucked out of the business. According to the Conference Board of Canada, absenteeism costs in Canada are estimated at $16_6 billion annuallyY Vancouver Airport Authority experi- enced a drop in absenteeism a mong participants in its Workplace Wellness Program from 4.07% to 2.56%.18 When employee reten- tion is becoming an issue, survey results on employee satisfac- tion would add to the logical appeals.
If you know your readers will hear other points of view, or if your a udience's initial position is negative, you have to deal with their obj ections to persuade them. The stronger tl1e obj ec- tion is, the earlier in your message you s hould deal with it.
The best way to deal objection is to eliminate it For instance, one dealer k eeps freq,uently ordered items in stock to eliminate the objection, "I don't want to wait" Toyota added to its strategies to entice young people to buy cars by ta king the cars to the shoppers; it set up its showrooms in the walk- ways of a s hopping centre it owns and operates in Yokohama. 19
If an obj ection is false and is based on misinformation, give tl1e response to the obj ection without naming the obj ection (as in a "q,uestionlanswer" fo nnat in a brochure)_ For instance,
Even if its combination of cheap and chic is seductive, IKEA does not rest on its laurels. It invests in Canadian-specific photography for ads, well aware that Scandinavian interiors look very differ- ent from Canadian ones. Plain white paperbacks on European shelves don't resonate in Canada. Nor do the native light woods that help maximize space in Europe work in Canada, where larger homes and dark woods are in order.
Tim Hortons is learning about the cross-cultural challenge of its persuasive appeals in connecti ng with new markets. When it ran a TV spot during the Vancouver 2010 Olympics opening ceremonies featuring an African immigrant being welcomed to Canada with a Tim Hortons coffee and winter clothes, it was criti- cized for exploiting the immigrant experience. Communications professor Robert Seiler felt the spot risked misrepresenting "our
treatment of immigrants" and the obstacles they face in becom- ing part of Canadian society .
Others worry that the "cost-cutting" ways of Tim Hortons· cur- rent owners, 3G Capital, are "cutting the heart out of a Canadian icon· and destroying a Tim Hortons corporate culture built on "friendships and kinships • and consumer loyalty, nourished by "The True Stories· ads focused on Canadian values.
Tim Hortons' Canadian identity resonates for its exoticism in Taiwan, but not in the United States, where it needs to rebui ld the brand for an American market.
If videos can help reach across cultural differences, captions and subtitles in the viewers' native language can add to search engine optimization and access new audiences in areas of high YouTube viewing (Indian, Russia, Germany, and France, for example).
• Based on Marina Strauss. 'How does IKEA Seduce Us?· Report on Business. June 2010. 56-61: Simon Houpt. · rim Hortons: At the Intersection of Commerce and Culture." The Globe and Mad. March 5. 2010 , BS; Marina Strauss, "Inside the Messy Transformation of Tim Hortons, • Report on Business. March 2017, 26- 35: Christopher Sansom. "'Can Captions Connect Your Business Globally?" Communicarion WO!Id, February 21. 2017. accessed http;/ f cw.iabc.com/2017 /02/21/can captions-connect your business-globally/.
health economi st Robert Evans of the U niversity of British Co lumbia debunk s the myth that aging boomers are going to cause a health car e crisis-a m yth repeated by the media as well as polic y maker s and p undits. Instead of responding directly to the objection, Professor Ev ans focuses attention on the inflati onary effec ts of incr eased drug costs and heal th care provider salaries, on t11e increasing good health of boom- ers and the r educed time "between decline and death; and on more aggressi ve medical intervent i ons for all groups. 20
Showing That Positives Outweigh Negatives
If real objec tions r em ain, try one or mor e of the following strategies to counter obj ecti ons.
1. Specify how much time and/or money is r eq,uired-it may not be as much as readers f ear :
Distributing flyers to each house or apartment in your neighbourhood will probably take two afternoons.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>- ' I I I I
Published in the United Kingdom as Flipnos is, the book Split· Second Persuasion disarms readers with case studies of the art and science of persuasion. Alt hough some have more talent than others, author Kevi n Dutton argues, •it's largely t rial and error." From babies to adverti sers and airline stewards to health care workers, con men, police, sales people, and professional negot ia- t ors , the best f ollow the SPICE formula:
• Simplicity • Perceived self-interest • Incongruity (often disarmi ng humour)
• Confidence • Empat hy
Knowing this f ormula can help protect against its seductive power, although Dutton warns about • the brain's hard-wired pref- erence to be part of a group" as a survival mechanism.
Similarly, fear alone does not cause behaviour change when people have a tendency t o think others "cause or are victimized by serious calamit ies." In the case of a dist racted driving campaign targeting young dri vers, f ear of death was less motivating than fear of • living life with limitations." Public education works better when it balances "fear-based messages· with • a coping mecha- nism." For instance, when Cineplex aired a texting-and-driving lie service announcement that engaged the audience in a game using the TimePiay app, 6q% took a pledge not to t ext and drive.
Professor Dante Pirouz of the Richard lvey School of Business studies the brain's response to adverti si ng encouraging people to do risky things. She found that cigarett e ads stimulate crav- ings not only among smokers, but also among non-smokers, and adults are as susceptible as children. Her findings are relevant to alcohol industry defences, such as self-regulat ory Advertisi ng Standards canada's argument that ads for alcohol persuade pe<r pie to change brands and not t o take up risky behaviours.
•Based on Kevin Dutton, Split ..second Persuasion: The Ancient Art and New Science of Changjng Minds {Doubleday Canada. 2010}: Simon Houpt. '"A Master of Persuasion Reveals his Secrets," The Globe and Mail, December 3, 2010, aq; SUsan Krashinsky, "One More Reason for those Constant Cravings," The Globe and Mail. April 8, 2011, B6; Jordan Timm. · The Art of 'Aipnosis': Changing People's Minds on tile sty," Canadian Business, Winter 2010/2011. q2. q3; Paul Gallant. "' Secrets of Selling Death: Ma11<eters Reveal the Tactics they Use to Get People to do the Right Thing.w NaH()()a/ Post, November 30. 2016, 3: Susan Krashinsky, · Interactive Element of New Texting-and-Driving Campaign Makes an Impact," Repon on Business, October 28. 2016. 62.
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES 2 13
2. Put the time and/or money in the context of the benefits they bring:
The additional $152,500 will (1 ) allow the Open Shelter to rema in open 24 rather than 1 6 hours a day , (2) pay for three social workers to help people find work and homes, and (3) keep the ne ighbou rhood bank open, so people don 't have to cash cheques in bars and so they can save up the $800 they need to rent an apartment.
3. Sh ow that money spent now will save money in the l ong run:
By buying a $100 safety product, you can avoid $500 in Occupational Health and Safety fines.
4. Show that doing as you ask will benefit some gr o up o r cause readers support, even though the acti on may no t help readers directly. This is the strategy used in fundrais- ing letters, discussed in detail in •• "H ow to Organize a Sal es or Fundraising Letter " later in thi s chapter. For examp le:
By being a Big Brother or a Big Sister, you will g ive a c hild the adult attention he or she needs to become a well- adjusted, producti ve adult.
5. Show r eaders that the sacrifice i s necessary to achieve a more important goal to which they ar e committed:
These changes will mean more work for all of us. But we've got to cut ou r costs 25% to keep the plant open and to keep our jobs.
Concerned with both def ending the integrity of the PR profes- sion and ensuring climate change debates are based on credible evidence. James Hoggan, president of Vancouver-based James Hoggan and Associates . launched his DeSmogBiog.com. Its mis- sion is to "clear the PR pollution that i s clouding the science on cl imat e change." Hoggan i s targeting ·a well-funded and highly organized public relations campaign• that is • poisoning" the debate. A Canadian survey Hoggan commissioned showed that 72% of 1 .000+ respondents underst and that PR professionals help companies report their environmental performance. while 81% think they misrepresent performance.
Similarly, sci entists with the Professional Institut e of the Public Service of Canada (PIPSC) responded to government
6. Sh ow that t11e ad vantages as a gr oup o utnun1ber or out - weigh the disadvantages as a group:
No locati on is perfect. But the Burnaby location gives us the most advantages and the fewest disadvantages.
7. Turn a disadvantage into an oppor tunity:
With the hiring freeze, every department will need more lead time to complete its own work. By h iring another per- son, the planning department could provide that lead time.
The draft in Figure 9.5 mak es the mi stak e of attacking read- ers in a n egative message. Mak ing the m emo l ess accusatory would help, but the message doesn't need to be negative at all. I nstead, the writer can tak e the infom1ation in paragr aph 3 and use it as the attention-getter and common gr ound for a pr obl em-sol ving persuasive message. Figure 9.6 shows a pos- sible revi sion, changing the language and tone.
Sense impressions-what the r eader sees, hears, smells, tastes, feels-evoke a strong emotional response. Psychol ogical d escription (see Figure 9. 7) means creating a scenario rich with sense impressions so readers can picture themselves using y our product or service and enjoying its benefits. You can also use psy chological description to identify tl1e problem y our product will solve. Psy chological description works best early in themes- sage to catch readers' attention.
H aagen-Dazs has used psy chological description so effec - ti vely that it has grown fr om i ts Bron.x beginnings to include franchises ar ound the world (see Figure 9.8).
communications policies constraining their access to med ia by launching PublicSci ence.ca in October 2010 t o open up "the world of science for the public good ." After the 2015 fed- eral election campaign, the Trudeau government committed to • value science and treat scientist s with respect," appoint- ing a new minister and " unmuzzling• f ederal scientist s. In December 2016, PIPSC announced a new clause in its collec- tive agreement protecting scientists' right to speak and help- ing build public trust. Despit e such advances, PIPSC President Debi Daviau warns that gaps in processes and communica- tions department s may sti II hinder access. Federal Science Minist er Kirsty Duncan conceded that such culture change takes time .
•Based on Bob Holmes. "'How Canada's Green Credentials Fell Apart: New ScienUsr. October 22. 2013. accessed http:/ jwww.newscientist.com/ articlejmg2132858S.qQQ.how-canadas green-credentials·fell apart.htmi#.U4z6bm3qxEM; Chris Freimond. ·Global Warming Reaches the Boardroom,· Communication World, November· -December 2007. 22- 24: Professional Institute of the Public Service of Canada. homepage, accessed April 21. 2011, http:j ;www.publicscience.ca;portalfpagejportaljscience: Shannon Proudfoot. ·unmuzzled Government Scientists are Ready to Talk." Macleans, January 6, 2017. accessed http:/ ;www.macleans.cajsociety/unmuzzled government-scientists-ready to-discuss a decade-of workf; Elizabeth McSheffrey, "Trudeau Government Proceeds with Plan to Free Canada's Scientists," National Observer, December 1 q. 2016. accessed http:/ jwww.nationalobserver. com/2016/12/1 q/newsftrudeau government-proceeds plan-free-canadas-scientists.
21 4 PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AN D EMAIL MESSAGES
Figure 9.5 Ineffective Persuasive Memo
X Negative
X Accusatory tone
X Attacks reader
X Insults and attacks reader
X Lacks YA
X Problem presented as reader's fault, nota common
problem that both share
X Attacks and insults reader
To:
From:
Todd Neumann
Heather Johnson
Date: May 24, 2017
Jmer-offlce Memoratldum
The Instrument Technicians Lab again seems to believe that if a result is printed out. it is the correct answer. ILdoesa:.ueem to roaner that the chromatogram is terribly noisy. the calibration standards are over a month old, or the area of the internal standards is abou half what it should be. I'm aware that the conditions in the lab have conttibuted to the d iscouraged atmosphere, but I don't feel it's an excuse for the shape of the lab and the eq_uipment. The G.C. columns are in bad shape just from abuse. I've lost count of the
X Accusatory tone makes this writer look unprofessional
X Makes reader feel incompetent
X Lacks you- attitude (Y A)
number of 10 ml syringes the Lacks YA not properl y rinsed. _
During the last six months, I have either reminded the technician of such things or written reminders in the log book. Isn't it time for our responsible lab technicians to have fresh standards made up? Granted. we've had many false starts, but I am still uncomfortable that the technicians will be ready when the time comes.
I don't feel that I should have to go over the chromatograms. printouts, and G.C. book every time we submit samples for analysis. However. just two weeks ago I sent out results without doing this and immediately received a call that the results were impossib le-and they were because unacceptable KF was used. the result of an old calibration standard.
One other item bothers me. I don' t know how to get the technicians interested in the way the Autolab integrates each peak when they don't seem to look at anything other than the answer.
I think it's time they either take hold and run the lab themselves or they be treated as if they were children. I also would like to see them read the Autolab I lnsttuction Manual and take the tape courses on the gas chromatograph and the Autolab I.
X Lacks YA
X Whole 'f lacks YA
The morale of the lab m ust be raised and a step in that direction is to give them the X Attacks responsibility and expect them to accept it. These people are being called technicians but --r-- reader they are actually classed as chemi sts and should be assum ing more in itative and responsibility.
Summarizing Benefits and Building Emotional Appea l
you wan t a fast response so you can go ahead with your own plans.
Stories and psy chological description are effective ways of building emotional appeal and underlining ben efits. Emotion al appeal works best when people want to be persuaded.
Even when you need to provide statistics or n umbers to convince careful readers that your an ecdote is a representa - tive example, telling a story first mak es your message more persu asive. Stories a lone are more effective than a combi- nation of stories a nd statistics, and the com bination is more effective than s tatistics alone. Research su ggests that stories a re more persuasive because people remember them.21
Req,uesti ng and Motivati ng Action Th e longer people delay, the less likely they are to carry through with the action they had d ecided to take. In addition,
Request action b y a specific date. Try to give people at least a week or two- they have other things to do besides respond to yo ur requests. Set deadlines in the middle of the mo nth , if possible. If you say, "Please return t11is by March 1," people will think , "I don't need to do t11is till March.· Ask for the response by February 28 instead. If you can use a response even after the d eadline, say so. Otherwise, people who can't ma ke the d ea dline may n ot respond.
To s how why you need a q_uick response, use t11e following guidelines:
• Sh ow tha t the time limit is real. Perhaps y ou need infor- mation to use it in a report with an early d ue date.
• Show that a cting n ow will save time or mon ey. If busi- ness is s low and your industry isn't doing well, t11en your company needs to act now (e.g., to economize, to better serve
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES 2 15
Figure 9.6 Effecti ve Persuasive Memo
.,- Common ground
.,- Problem writer and
reader share
.,- Writer shows understand-
Ing of reader's problems
.,- List empha- sizes what
reader needs to do
.,- Treats reader as an
eq_ual who can help solve the
problem
tnrer-offlce Memoraodum
To: Todd Neumann
From: Heather Johnson
Date: May 24 , 2017
Subject: Cutting Req_uests for Reworr ---- --- --- - - --- ----1
Two weeks ago a customer caned to tell me that the results we'd sent out were impossible. I checked, and the results were wrong because we' d used an old calibration standard .
Redoing wor1< for outside customers and for in-house projects doubles our workload. Yet because people don't trust our results, we're getting an increasing number of req_uests for rework.
Part of the p<oblem is that we've had so many false starts. Customers and especially in-house engineers say they'll need a run but then don' t have the materials for a nother day or even a week. Paul Liu has told me that these schedule glitches are inevitable. We'll just have to prepare fresh calibration standards every time a run is scheduled-and again when the run is ready.
You've told me that the eq_uip<nent in the lab is unreliable. The Capital Expenditures Req_uest includes a line item for G.C. columns and a new gas chromatograph. We'll be able to be more persuasive at the Board meeting if we can show that we're taking good care of the eq_uipment. Please remind your staff to
Rinse the 10rn1 syringes every day .
Check the glass insert in the B column every week.
Check the filter on the Autolab I every week.
Do wor1<ers find t he Autolab I instruction manual and the tape courses o n the gas chromatograph and the Autolab I helpful? If not, perhaps we should ask the manufacturer to redo them and. in the meantime, to offer a short course for our workers. How do you think the technical expertise of our staff can be increased?
.,- Straight- forward problem- solving approach Is the mark of a professional manager
.,- Positive sub- ject line
By getting our results right the first time. we can eliminate the rework and give both "" Links desired customers and in-house clients better to ben-
efit and picture of the problem being solved
customers) in ord er to be compe titive. If business is booming and everyone is making a profit, then your company needs to act now to get its fair s hare of t11e available profits.
third-q_uarter numbers yet?") will work. When you n eed action from co-workers, superiors, or people outside the organization, you need to be botl1 more forceful and more polite.
• Sh ow the co s t of de laying action . Will labour o r mate- ria l co sts be highe r in the future? Will de la y mean more money spent on rep a iring something that will still need to b e replaced?
CHECKING TONE IN PERSUASIVE MESSAGES The best phrasing d epends on your relationship to the reader. When you ask for a ction from people who report directly to you, orde rs ("Ge t me the Ervin file") and q,uestions ("Do we have the
216 PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AND EMAIL MESSAGES
Avoiding messages t11at sotmd parental or prea chy is often a matter o f tone. Saying "Please" is essential, especia lly to people on your level or outside the organization. To ne will a lso be better when you give reasons for your req_u est or reasons to a ct p ro mptly.
x Parental: Everyone is expected to comply with these regulations. I'm sure you can see that they are common-sense rules needed for our business.
.,- Better: Even on casual days, visitors expect us to be professional. So leave the gym clothes at home!
Figur e 9.7 Using Psychological Descripti on t o Develop Reader Benefits
.r You-attitude psychological
description
.r Visual details
.r Emphasis on reader's choice-not
every reader will want the same thing
Wbcn you dinoc in the Union Colonial Roorn. it's t3SY to imag.ioe )'Ourst lfa gw.'s.t i.nafi•M" mansion. Light from the gleaming eh:mde liersrdltcts from a band-<'an·td mitror hanging O\'tr the dark. polished buffet. Hert you can dii'K' ioquict
elcgallC.'C amid fumisbing:s ac:b.piCd from 18th -<"cmury Georgian hc.-nes.
Perhaps you'd like a dinner of stuffed rainbow uout. Or tbc pork fricassee. The menu fc31ures a variety of complete meals that arc changed daily. as well as the regular a 1:1. cnru.• sen•icc. your eboice. you' ll enjoy an C\'Cn ing or d in ing a t \'Cry reasooablc pri«s.
TIK' Union Colonial Room is loc:ucd on tbt norlb· east comer of the first noor. Dinners arc sen·cd Monday through Friday ftonl 5:30 to 7:30P.M. Please call 333..(1690 for reser,·ations. and enjoy the flavour of the Colonies too ig:bt.
The Cafeteria
In tbe lllini Union Cafctcris. fOU stan out with an emp1y uay and s:ilvcrw--:tre. romc:s the food. several )':ltds of it. all )'Ours for tbc c-hoosing. By lhc time )'Ou' ve finished. your t mpl)' Ita)' has become a delicious nltal.
ln tbc moming. lhe i..n ... iting aroma ofbl'tal:fas.t fiiJjtlhe air. fca..:;t your C)'<':$ and lhen your oo tbt atra)' of eggs. bw:on. puncakt'$. toa..:;t.
rolls.. juitt$. and coff« .. . all -.•aiting co wake )'OU up with good tNt. H:we a hearty breal:fN ot make it quick :uki t:t..:;ty. The 'A':lml. fresbl)' baked tOIJ$ and coff« cake$ pr.KticaiJ)' beg 10 s•oothtrOO i..n butter and with a cup of hOt ooffet.
By II A.M. the brcatfas.t menu ha$ made way fot lu1X'h. Hctt COOK' the hot RC1lbcn sandwictloe$ a1k1 the totilY grilled
Soup$ and salads make thcit appeat:mce. A v31iCt)' of art di\'SSI.!d up 10entict )'OU. and several n\ain
disbe$ kad tilt IUiiCbeoo p:tr.kl'. An)' nurnbet of coolpit':«' llltaiS CaJI takt shape :l.'l )"OU IOO ... ·e aloo.g.
Wba1? BacJ:: for din•K't? Wdl. oo -.•oodet! seu oot a -.•ide sel«lion of Cllltt'('S a1k1 side di:s.hc$. Vtal pa.nn igiana si:nlc:s fot )'Our aueiUion but the toa..:;c bed right llUt 10 it is LOUg.b COOlpetit iOO. T OOlOf'I'OW the fritd chictCll might be up fot selection. Oloose the din.noer combi.n.atioo th:u besc fits )"OUt appetite.
The 1K'wiy temodeUed Cafetctia is oo lhe g.tound floor and i$ open fot breakfast frotn 7 to II A.M. Mooday through Sarutday and 8to II A.M. oo Su.oda)'. Lu1x-h is served from II A.M. 10 1: 15 P.M. Monda)' tbtough S:u:urd:l)• and II A.M. tO 2
oo Sulki3)'. Dilll).':t is sen'(.'d from 4:45 to 7P.M. through Friday.
A meal in a rest.aul".liJI is UfX'-I)S.ive. A nK"al :u home i$ a c-hore. But a meal at the Cafctctia combinc:s good food and rea..:;onable pricc:s to mate dini..ng a plt':a..:;ure.
.r You-attitude psychological description
.r Details appeal to sight, taste, smell
.r Emphasis on reader's choice-not every reader will want the same thing
Technology Tips Migrating to Social Media*
Although television has long been the number one medium for advertising, Web and mobile devices are expected to over- take televi si on (and print) by 2017. In 2016, newspapers accounted for 13% of ad spending, whi le digital accounted for 42%; TV viewership among 25-54-year-olds dropped 5%, adding to pressures for TV i nnovations connected to viewer data and t argeted ads. With Facebook and Google holding 34% of digital ad revenue, t he challenge i s to get them to share data.
Toronto's Saje Natural Wellness recorded 1012% revenue growth (2010-2015) based on strong customer service, building on • dil igent recruitment ," e-leaming, and "empathetic selling.• The result is • superfans• who "congregate on social media to rave about products they love and ask q,uestions of staff," while a dedicated team responds promptly.
Rhett Mclaughlin and Link Neal share !heir community-tluilding keys to successful viral videos:
Take time to build your audience through Facebook and Twitter.
Find the t ribal leaders or influencers. Interact with your fans. Embrace the medium.
Be subtle about the plug. Be flexible.
Mobile devices were generating $11 q bill ion in spending by 2015 (up from $1.2 billion in 200q)_ Google's Shopper app adds to Facebook Deals and Amazon's Price Check, Scandit, Shopsavvy, and other apps to locate outlets and malls, to order, and even to pay using cell phones.
Challenges remain in this "brave new world" in the fonn of Brave, an Internet browser that not onl y blocks ads, but also offers security settings and proposes users fund favoured sites through micropayments.
•Based on Brandon Katz, "Digital Ad Spending Will Surpass TV Spending for the First Time in U.S. History.H Forbes.com. September 14, 2016, accessed https:j jwww.forbes.comjsitesfbrandonkatz/2016/0CI/14/dig ital..ad spending will surpass-tv spending for·the first·time in-u-s history/ #2afc054f4207; Susan Krashinsky, "'Follow the Ad Money: Digital Shift Growing," Report on Business, December q. 2016, B2; Sarah Barmak, "Create Amazing Customer Experiences," canadian Business, October 2016, 44-46: Russell Working. "'6 Ways to Make Your Video Campaign a accessed February 8, 2011. http:/ jwww.ragan.com/MainjArticlesj42686.aspx?format52; Simon Houpt. ·There Coukl Be a Deal Right Where You Ale The Globe and Mail. February 1. 2011. aq; Jeff Beer. · r he Future is canadian Business, March 14, 2011. 40: Alexandra Sagan. ·Parent Company of Tim Hortons, Burger King Plans Pay in-Advance Report on Business Weekend, January 21. 2017, 82: Susan Klashinsky. •PlJblishers Bracing for the Brave New World of Internet Advertising," Reporr on Business, April 15, 2016. B7: Sarah Perez. ·Brave, the Browser with Built· in Ad Blocking. Tries Again on Android," Techcrunch.com. October 31. 2016, accessed https:/ jtedlcrunch.com/2016/10/31/brave·the browser·with built·in-ad-blocking tries-again.on-android/.
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES 217
Figure 9.8 Haagen-Dazs Knows the Power of Psycholog ical Description
Scoop it. Spoon it. Share it.
Source: HAAGEN-OAZs4' is a registered trademark used under licence in Canada by Nestle Canada Inc.
Writing to superio rs is trickier. You may want to tone down your req,uest by using subj unctive verbs and explicit disclaim- ers that s how you aren't taking a yes for granted.
x Arrogant: Based on this evidence, I expect you to give me a new computer.
..-- Better: If department funds permit, I would like a new computer.
It can be particularly tricky to control tone in email a nd text messages, which tend to sound Jess friendly than paper doctunents or conversations. For in1portant req,uests, compose your message offline a nd revise it carefully before you send it
The subj ect line of a persuasive email message should make it clear tl1at you are asking for something. To be s ure that tlle reader will read the message, be specific:
Subj ect: Move Meeting to Tuesday?
Subj ect: Provide Story for Newsletter?
Subj ect: Want You for United Way Campaign
Major req,uests that req,uire changes in values, culture, or lifestyles should not be made in email or text messages.
COLLECTION LETIERS Collection letters are among tlle most common persuasive messages. Altlloug h many businesses fin d tllat phoning ratller than writing results in faster payment, you will need to write letters when leaving messages doesn't work (see Figure 7.1).
218 • PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AN D EMAIL MESSAGES
Colle ction le tte rs ask customers to pay (as they have already agreed to do) for tlle goods and services tlley have already received. Good credit departments send a series of let- ters a week apart.
EariiJ le t ter s are gentle, asstuning tllat tlle reader intends to pay but has forgotten or has met witll temporary reverses. Early letters can be obvious form letters or even just a sec- on d copy of tlle bill witll tlle words "Second Notice" or "Past Due" stamped on it. For example, a student who had not yet been reinlbursed by a company for a visit to tlle company's office put tlle second req,uest in tl1e P.S. of a Jetter refusing a j ob offer:
P.S. Th e cheq_ue to cover my expenses when I visited your office in March hasn' t come yet. Cou ld you check to see whether you ca n find a record of it? The amount was $ 4 qo (airfare $2qo, h otel room $185, taxi $15).
If one or two early letters don't result in payment, call tlle customer to ask if your company has created a problem. It's possible tl1at tlle invoice arrived before tlle product and was filed and forgotten. If any of tllese situations apply, you will build goodwill by solving tlle problem ratller tl1an arrogantly asking for payment.22
Middle l e t ter s are more assertive in ask in g for pay ment. Figure 9.9 gives an example of a middle Jetter. This form Jet- ter is merged witll database information abou t th e custom- er's name, tlle amount due, a n d tlle magazine the c ustomer is receiving. Oilier middle letters o ffer to n egotiate a sch ed- ule for repayment if tlle r eader is not able to pay tlle whole bill inun ediately, may remind tlle reader of tlle inlportance of a good credit rating, educate tlle reader abou t c redit, and explain why th e creditor must have prompt payment.
Late l ette rs tllreaten legal action if tlle bill is not paid. At tllis point, you must assume that only serious conseq,u ences will change tlle behaviour. Short of legal action, y ou may threaten turning tlle account over to a collection agency. Still, e11:pressions of reluctance are in order-combined witll a promise to act if tlle customer does not pay tlle amount du e witllin a specified time lintit (say, 10 days).
Many small businesses find that establishing personal rela- tionships witll customers is tlle best way to speed payment. The most serious collection letters typically req,uire legal review before being sent
SALES AND FUNDRAISING LETIERS Douglas & Mcintyre Publislting Group, Chrysler Canada, and FedEx a re o nly a few of tlle companies tllat use letters to per- suade customers to buy their products, visit tl1eir showrooms, or use tlleir services. Retllink Breast Cancer, Canadian Cancer Society, McGill University, and George Brown College are
Figure 9.9 A Middle Collection Letter ;:]
(I ' . . . 1 . . ' . . 2 • . ' . . 3 • . . I • • • 4 • • • I • • ' 5 . . . ' . . . G
"' Form letter:
- I- Dear (Customer Name): Insert CUS·
tomer's name before printing,
mailing It is now several weeks since we sent you our first invoice and we have not yet received you r payment. ---::__ "' Statement that payment is
past due t-"' Appeals to
reader's sense offair play
...... While it always takes some magazines a little longer than others to begin service, you should be receiving copies shortly- if they have not already arrived.
For our part, we prepaid the publishers for your account when we forwarded your order. That means you have our guarantee of full service. - f-! "' Reason pay-ment is needed If you could send you r payment of (amount due] back to us now,
...- 1- we would appreciate it. "' Second appeal to reader Thank you! And enjoy your subscription to (Name of Magazine)!
"' Amount, name of maga- zine inserted before printing, mailing
Cord ially ,
Tina Myers Service Bureau Representative
• [ji[ij]I.Ji![ •
exampl es of organizati ons that use l etters-as w ell as propos- al s V• Chapter 11) and grant applications-to persuade people to donate time or money to their causes.
Sales and fundraising letters are a special category of per- suasive messages known as direct mail because they ask for an order , an inq,uiry, or a contribution directly from r ead- ers. ln 2002, direct mail accounted for $1.51 billion or 13.8% of y early Canadian advertising. By 2009, Canada Post's aver age
Di stinguishing between those that are greening their companies and those that are greenwashing (or merely marketing a sem- blance of environment ally-friendly action) can be challenging for consumers.
When ISL Engineering of Edmont on launched its sustainability program. it gave 25 • green-minded" staff 10% of each day to develop projects such as recycling. energy reduction, car-sharing, and waste diversion to the city's compost. According to CEO Rodney Peacock, when you align "with your employees' values, you get happy people who do great wor1<."
Taking on big-brand det ergents, Method co-founders Adam Lowry and Eric Ryan rely on "an army of advocates" or "People
-.....:
[>I
of 334 pieces to 14.9 million addresses was down 13%.23 After y ears of profits until2011, Canada Post reported a $193 million operating loss in 20 13; a Confer ence Board of Canada study pr edicts $1 billion annual shortfalls within ten years. Yet online shopping has added to par cel revenue (7.2% revenue inc rease in 2013), and charities and otl1ers remain significant direct mail senders; in the first two q,uarters of 20 16, Canada Post r eported $45 million before-tax profit.:!-1
Against Dirty " to spread the word, resulting in 4 ,000 Twitter fol- lowers in 2010, while Tide boasted fewer than 200. By 2017. Tide was attracting 184K followers compared to Method's 32. 7K. Instead of depicting cleaning as " drudgery; the company exudes energy and promotes products with phrases such as "floor love." It s mix of style and environmentalism appeals to those who are invested in doing the right thing.
Responding to US efforts to boycott the oil sands, then Environment Minister Pet er Kent"s "ethical oil" marketing strat- egy promoted Canadian democracy's superiority to resource-rich but democracy-poor alternatives. "It is a regulated product .. The proceeds are used to better society; Kent claimed.
•Based on Jennifer Myers. · rhe Greening of The Globe and Mail. May 22. 2010. 815: Simon Houpt. a'Taking on Big Soaps: There's Method in this Marketing Madness," The Globe and Mail, January 8. 2010. 81 6: Steven Chase, ·Peter Kent's Plan to Clean up the Oil Sands' Dirty Reputation," The Globe and Mail. January 7. 2011, AS q_
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES 21 q
A 2016 study of the relative ef fectiveness of digital a nd physical ma r ke ting reported some s urprising findings: digital messages "require 21% mor e cognitive effort to process and retain than phys ical messages." While there is 75% r ecall (and 20% "hig her m otivation response") fo r physical messages, dig- ita l ones achieve only 44% recall. This fin ding is indicative of the r eappearance of paper cata logues (at Canadian Tire) a nd brick-and-mortar stores (at Amazon).25
Good direct mail has three components: a good pr oduct, service, o r cause; a good mailing Jist; a nd a good appeal
• A good p roduc t appeals to a specific segment of p eople, can be mailed, a n d p rovides a n adequate profit margin. A good s e r vice or cause fills a n identifiable need.
• A good mailing list has accur ate addresses and is a good match to the product. In-house lists of customers o r mem- b ers can be s upplemented p rospects from city direc- to ries, lists r ented from specialist companies, o r exchange lists M th similar o r ganizations.
• A good a ppe al offers a believable descrip tion of be nefits, links tlte benefits of the product o r service to a need or desire tl1at motivates readers, makes iliem want to read the Jetter, and motivates tltern to act. The appeal is n1ade up of ilie words in ilie Jetter, tlte pictures in the brochure or rack card, and all the parts of ilie package, from outer envelope to r eply card.
All three e lements a r e c m cial. This sectio n focus es on the elem ents of a good appeal: how to cr eate a message tllat \vill
Research s hows that food labels impact consumer choices and that Canadians a re s howing less trust in the food system and more concern about food fra ud. A 2016 Canadian Centre for Food Integrity 2,500-participant study fou nd that 50% are unsure if the Canadian fo od system is ·going in the right direction; while 20% a re convinced • it's on the wrong track."
Trust has been e roded by disease o utbreaks, animal cruelty, the indust rialization of food production, distance between produc- e rs a nd consumers . competing scientific claims (even involving Canada's Food Guide), concerns about nutrition and e nvironment, allergies, misleading labels . mislabelled product, a nd unreliable Internet sources. The Canadian Food Inspection Agency receives 40 complaints a year about "food mis representation :
Subject to Health Canada standards, food labels make health a nd nutrition claims and list calories and ingredients relative to
mo tivate r eader s to act, asswn ing that you already have a good pr oduct to sell o r a wortlty cause to raise funds fo r and tltat you a lr eady have a good Jist of people who might be inter- ested in tllat product, cause, or o r ganization.
Su ccessf ul sales and fundr aising messages depend on thr ee steps:
• Understanding your pr oduct, service, o r o r ganizatio n .
• Knowing your targe t audien ce (i.e., people likely to be interested in your p roduct, service, o r cause).
• Choosing a central selling point (i.e., a benefit tllat could mo tivate your r eade rs and tltat acts as an um brella under which a ll the other benefits f it).
Writing an effective enlai! message rather tllan a Jetter has been estinlated to cut costs to about o ne-fifth of a print mailing.26
Industry Msdom s u ggests tltat a cold list - a list of peo- ple Mth no pr ior connection to your group- \vill have a 2% r esponse rate. Good tinting, a good Jist, and a good appeal can do uble o r even trip le tllat per centage.
For people who open some of their maU, the tlrree most important factors in deciding whe tlte r to o pen a specific enve- lope are tinting, personalization, and an attractive appearance.27
Inbox overload and f ears of phishing scams add to direct ma il appeal. But companies t hat want people to continue open- ing direct maU have to be car ef ul tllat what they send is not jtmk. People today r eceive so n1any marketing messages that they are intpatient when the messages seem irrelevant.
serving s ize. However, research s hows that many consumers find them overly vague (e.g., ·natural" claims ) or technical and dif· fi cult and confu s ing to interpret. Vanderlee and colleagues found that 54.2% were able to identify the number of calories in a tested beverage, 35.8% underestimated, and 10% overestimated.
While many read organic labels as a q,uality s ignal. one study s howed that o rganic labels o n high brand equity products are less effective than on products with low brand equity. A 2013 study by Turner and associates fo und that women associate "low fat • with "healthy," although they a re not synonymous.
Amendments to Food and Drug Regulations in 2016 aim to make the Nutrition Facts table and list of ingredients "easier for Canadians to use and understand." Regulating serving s ize and allowing health claims about fru its and vegetables s imilarly aims to fa cilitate comparisons for healthy choices.
•Based on Treena Hein. ·canadian Centre for Food Integrity Launches.H Food in C:anada, August Cl, 2016, accessed http:/ jwww.foodincanada.comjfood in-canadajcanadian.centre--food-integrity-launches 134661/; The Canadian Centre for Food Integrity. · 2016 Canadian Public Trust Research: With Insights from Moms, Millennia Is and Foodies.H accessed http:/ fwww.farm foodcare.org/canadajwpocontenVuploads/2016/05/2016 Public-Trust-Research-Report. pdf: Aleksandra Sagan. •Most canadians Concemed about Food Fraud," The Globe and Mail. February 22, 2017, A 7: Sylvain Charlebois, · Industry Input or Not. Canada's Food Guide Should be Modernized with Consumers in Mind.H Report on Business, December 6, 2016, 84; L Vandertee. S. Goodman, W.S. Yang. and D. Hammond, "Consumer Understanding of Calorie Amounts and Serving Size: Implications for Nutritional Labeling.- canadian Journal of Public Health 103. no. 5 (2012): 327 -31; Fabrice Larceneux, Aorence Benoit Moureau. and Valerie Renaudin. ·Why Might Organic Labels Fail to Influence Consumer Choices? Marginal Labelling and Brand Equity Effects.H Journal of Consumer Policy 35, no. 1 (2012): 85- 102: Katie Turner, Shelagh Ferguson, Julia Craig. Alice Jeffries, and Sarah Beaton, "Gendered Identity Negotiations through Food Consumption.- Young Consumers 14, no. 3 (2013): 280 88; Government of Canada, "Government of Canada Finalizes Changes to the Nutrition Facts Table and list of Ingredients on Packaged Foods.H news release, December 14, 2016. accessed http:/ jnews.gc.cajwebjarticle en.do?nid=116qJ7q.
220 PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AND EMAIL MESSAGES
L03
HOW TO ORGANIZE A SALES OR FUNDRAISING LETIER Use the AIDA persuasive plan to organize sales or fundraising letters (see Figure 9.10).
Note that sales or f undraising letters omit dates (a cam- paign may last months), an inside address, and even a saluta- tion, although some open with Dear Reader, for instance. This strategy allows for maximum flexibility as organizations tar- get their ma iling lis ts.
Opener (Attention)
The opener of your letter gives you 30 to 60 seconds to moti- vate readers to read the rest of the letter. A good opener will make readers want to read tl1e letter and provides a reason- able transition to the body of the letter (see Figure 9.11).
A very successful s ubscription letter for Psychology Today started out as follows:
Do you still close the bathroom door when there' s no one in the house?
The q,uestion is both intriguing in itself and a good transi- tion into tl1e content of Psychology Today: practical psychol- ogy applied to the q_uirks and q,uestions we come across in everyday life.
It's essential that the opener not only get the reader's atten- tion, but also be something that can be linked logically to the body of the letter. A sales letter started as follows:
Can you use $50 th is week?
Certainly tl1at gets attention. But the letter offered readers only the chance to save $50 on a product. Readers may feel disappointed or even cheated when they learn that instead of getting $50, they have to spend money to save $50.
It's ha rd to write a brilliant opener the minute you sit down. To brainstorm possible openers, use tl1e four basic modes: startling statements, q,uotations, q,uestions, and narration.
Figure 9.10 AIDA Pers uasive Plan
1. Startling Statements
Dear Membersh ip Candidat e:
I'm writ ing to offer you a job.
It's not a permanent job, understand . You will be working for only as much t ime as you find it rewarding and fun.
It's not even a paying job. On the contrary , it will cost you money.
This fundraising letter from Earthwatch invites readers to participate in its expeditions, subscribe to its j ournal, and donate to its progran1S. Eartl1watch's volunteers help scien- tists and scholars dig for ruins, count bighorns, and monitor changes in water; they can work as long as they like; and they pay their own (tax-deductible) expenses.
2. Quotations
" I never tell my partner that my ankle is sore or my back hurts. You can't give in to pain and still perform. "
- Jill Murphy, Soloist
Quotations sell season tickets to the Royal Winnipeg Ballet by focusing on the people who work to create the season. The letters encourage readers to see the artists as individuals, to appreciate their ha rd work, and to share their excitement about each perfonn ance.
3. Questions
Dear Writer:
What is the best way to sta rt writing?
This letter selling s ubscriptions to Writer's Digest goes on to discuss Hemingway's strategy for getting started on his novels and sh ort stories. Writer's Digest offers practical advice to writers who want to be published so the recipient keeps reading.
1. Gain Attent ion: open with a provocative head line, sta rtling statements or facts, audience benefit , compliment , quotation , question, summary of problem; action, stories, or point of agreement.
2. Create Interest : support your argument in concrete and specific terms (e.g., facts , figures, examples, experts), underlining benefits and appealing to fairness.
3. Build Desire while reducing Resistance: imagine and anticipate scenarios, underline credibility, and cite testimonials and test results.
4 . Motivate Action: reinforce benefits, ask for a specific response, and give deadlines linked to incentives.
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES • 22 1
Figure 9.11 A Form Letter Whose Attention-Gett er Mimics an Inside Address
.r Attentiot>- getter visually sut>stitutes for--
inside address, salutation
.r Reader t>en- efit saved for
a P.S. People's - 1----- eyes go to P.S., which they may
read llefore returning to rest
of letter
c OMPUTER SUPPORT c OMPANY :o> -.. ... -.c...,. .. tll>ta 1t0l 6U-• Ilooo CO.Ml1-
.. "' .... . . • Rve FREE Libraries• •Worth Up to $615! • .. .... ...
i .r 'Johnson Box" highlighting the ----1-L offer used for emphasis, visual variety
No Other Business Graphics Software Can Match the Versatility & Aexibility of Oiagraph!
t"' Date omitted so letter can be sell! out unchanged
Let us prove to you that Oiagraph is a breakthrough in business graphics software.
Use Oiagraph to turn your ideas, concepts. plans, and data into organization charts, signs. flow charts, diagrams. forms, and maps. Oiagraph comes with a money·back guarantee. Use it for 30 days and we're certain that you will have discovered so many uses for Oiagraph that you won't wan t to part with it.
And now you have two choices: Diagraph/500 for only sqq or Oiagroph/ 2000 for $3qs_
Oiagroph/ SOO files are fully compatible with Oiagraph/ 2000 so you can upgrade to Oiagraph/2000 at any time. What's more. the cost of Oiagroph/ SOO is credited toward your purchase of Oiagraph/2000.
See the enclosed data sheet for additional information or call us today to see how the power of Diagraph can enhance everything you write!
Sincerely.
.r Johnson Box visually substi- tutes for date
GM:ec
,IJbJ Gail McCannon -.....____ Director, Customer Services -.....____
.r Signature block lined up -----------1 - with Johnson Box
Encl.
P.S. As an added incentive. if you purchase Diagraph/2000 before November 30, you can select frve Oiagraph libraries. worth up to $615, absolutely free. Call for more details.
4_ Narration, Stories, Anecdotes It pierced the eighth ring. The seventh. The sixth. It punc- tured the innermost and last. Then just as suddenly as it had appeared, the dagger of light was gone. The young woman glanced at her watch again. Exactly twelve min- utes had elapsed_
Dear Reader:
She hoisted herself up noiselessly so as not to disturb the rattlesnakes snoozing there in the sun.
To her left, the high desert of New Mexico. Indian country. To her right, the rock carvings she had photographed the day before. Stick people. Primitive animals.
Up ahead, three sandstone slabs stood stacked against the face of the cliff. In their shadow, another carving. A spiral consisting of rings. Curious, the young woman drew closer. Instinctively, she glanced at her watch. It was almost noon. Then just at that moment, a most unusual thing happened. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, an eerie dagger of light appeared to stab at the topmost ring of the spiraL It next began to plunge downwards-shimmering, laser-like.
222 PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AND EMAIL MESSAGES
Coincidence? Accident? Fluke? No. What she may have stumbled across that midsummer morning three years ago is an ancient solar calendar. __ _
The opener of this Science84 s ubscription letter both builds suspense so that readers read the subscription letter and sug- gests t11at the magazine will be as interesting as the letter and as easy to read.
Body (Interest) The body of the letter provides t11e logical and emotional links that move readers from t11eir first flicker of interest to the
desired action. A good interest-building section underlines bene- fits, overcomes their objections, and involves them emotionally.
• Stories about people who have used the product or who need the organization's he lp
All this takes space. One of the industry truisms is, "111e more you tell, the more you sell." Tests show tl1at longer letters bring in more new customers or new donors than do s horter letters.
• Word pictures of readers using the product and enjoying its benefits
Body (Desire) Can short letters work? Yes, when you are writing to old
customers or when the mailing is s upported by other media (see Figure 9.12). One study showed that a one-page Jetter was just as effective as a two-page Jetter in persuading recent pur- chasers of a product to buy a service contract 28 Email direct mail is a lso short---9enerally j ust one screen. The shortest Jet- ter on record may be the two-word postcard that a fishing Jake resort sent its customers: "They're biting!"
Content for the body of the Jetter can include the following:
Build desire while reducing resistance by adding detail that answers readers' q_uestions. What concerns might they have about products or services? What reassurances do tl1ey need? Promote your credibility by citing evidence and a uthorities to support your clain1s. Preparing your readers for the call to action in the close, this section can usefully cite from these sources:
• Survey results • Information readers will find useful even if they do not buy or give • Testimonials from satisfied constuners
• Test results • Stories about how the product was developed or what the organization has done • Expert/celebrity endorsements
Figur e 9.12 A Fundraising Letter
Dear friend, Your gifts to the Multiple Sclerosis Society of Canada are helping
. improve life for the 100,000 Canadians who live with MS. Thanks to your "' AttenUot>- __ support, we have been a ble to advanoe research in myelin rej)air, immune
getter - system rebooting, physical activity and wellness, and improved drug therapies. In the last several years alone, you've seen us lead an unprecedented
global effort to solve the mystery of progressive MS, with virtually dozens of . .]lew research projects m the pipeline. You·ve teamed of an important new
"' Logic and that offers hope from stem cell transplantation. And you've followed our emouonallmks - efforts to bring new wellness solutions to people living with MS.
in body It is, truly, a new era in MS research. Hope for new treatments and
solutions for people living with MS Is high. And yet, Canada has the highest rate of MS in the wortd. MS is
"Canada's disease" and we need to end it. That's where you come ln. Please help us accelerate research - and continue to deliver new ..,. Positive
.r Reason to 1-- _ treatments and a cure to thousands of Canadians - by makin& a gift to picture act MS Society today.
Source: MS Society of Canada.
Sincerely,
President and Chief Executive Oflicer Multiple Sclerosis Society of Canada
.r Reader ----tr efits highlighted
In Informal P.S.
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES 223
Close (Action)
The a ction close in the letter must do four things: 1. Te U t h e re ade r what to do. Respond. A,·oid if ( "IJ you
would like to try ... ") and tchy 1wt ("Why not send in a cheq,ue?"). 11tey lack positive emphasis and encourage your reader to say no.
2. Make the a c tion s ound easy . Fill in the informaHo n on the reply card, s ign the card (for credit sales), put the ca rd and c heque (if payment is to a ccompany Ute order) in Ute e nvelope (i f postage-paid, stress it), and mail the envelope. OuUine o nline options.
3. Offe r a reas on for acting promptly . Readers who wait to act are less lil<ely to buy or contribute. Reasons for act- ing promptly are easy to identify when a product is seasonal or there is a genuine limit on the offer-rune limit, price rise scheduled, or limited supply. Sometimes you can offer a p re- mium or a discount if the reader acts quickly. Oth erwise, remind readers that the sooner they get the product, the soone r they can benefit from it; the sooner tltey contribute funds, the sooner their dollars can go to work to solve the pr-oblem.
4. End on a pos itive n ote. Include a positive message a bout the reader enjoying the product (sales letter) or of the read· er"s moneiJ wo rking to solve the problem (fundraising letter). The last sentence should never be a selfish req,uest for money. The a ction close can also remind rea ders of the central sell-
ing point, stress the guarantee, and mention when customers will get the product.
Using a P.S.
Studies o f e1Je moveme nt s how that people o ften look to see who a lette r is from before they re ad the letter. Ray .Jut kins cites a study s howing that 79% of the peop le who open direct mail read the P.S. first 29 There fore , direct mail often uses a deliberate P.S. after the signature block (see Figure 9.1 1 a nd Figure 9. 12). It may restate the cen tral selling point, preferably in different words so that it wo n't sound repetitive.
Here are two examples of the many kinds of effective P.S.s. • Reason to act promp tly:
P.S . Once I fin ish the limite d harvest, that's rtl I do not s tore any Springs weet Onio ns for la te orders. I will ship all o rders on a fi rs t-come , fi rst-served basis a nd when they are gone they a re g one. Drop your order in the mail today ... or give me a call toll free at 1-800.531-7 4 70 1
• Restateme nt of central s e lling point:
P.S. It is not easy to be a hungry child in the Third Wor1d. If your parents' crops fail or if your parents cannot find work. there (are) ... no free government-provided cafeteria lunches.
Millions of hungry schoolchildren will be depending on CARE Canada this fall. Your gift today will ensure that we will be there-that CARE Canada won' t let them down.
224 • PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AND EMAIL MESSAGES
L04
STRATEGY IN SALES LETIERS The basic strategy in sales letters is satisfying a n eed Your le t- ter must remind people o f I he need your p roduct meets, prove the product will satisfy that need, show wh y your product is be tter than s imila r p roducts, a nd m a ke readers w ant to have the produc t Use psychological description Figure 9.7) to sh ow readers ho w the product will help the m. Testimo nia ls from othe r buyers can he lp persuade that the product wo rks; de tails about how the product is ma de can carry the message of quality.
ilolany sales lette rs make tlte offer early in the letter-e, ·en on the envelope. The exact price, however, is not mentioned nntil the last quarter o f the letter, after the cop y makes the reader tva nt the p roduct ( Figure 9. 11 ). The only tion occurs whe n you are selling something that has a repu- tation for be ing expe nsive (e.g ., a luxury car, Encycwpacdia Britannica). 11trul you ma y wa nt to deal with the price issue early in the letler.
You can m ak e the price mo re palatable with the following techniques:
1. Link the price t o the bene fit the product p rovid es. "Your piece of history is just $39.95."
2. Show h o w much t h e p roduct co sts each d a y , each w eek , o r eac h mo n th. "You can have all this for less than the cost of a cup of coffee a day:
3. Allow cu stomers to charge sales o r pa y in instalme n ts. Yo ur bookkeeping costs will rise, a nd some sales may be wt coUectible, but the tota l numbe r of sales will inc rease.
Always o ffe r a guarantee, usually right after the price. The best guarantees are s hort, con vincing, and positive.
x Negative: If the magazine fails to meet your expectations , you can cancel at any time and receive a refund
.r Better:
on any unmailed copies.
You wrll be satisfied or we will refund your money. I guarantee that.
STRATEGY IN FUNDRAISING APPEALS In a fundraising le tte r, the basic emotional strategy is v icari- ous p articip a tion. By donaoog money, readers participate vicariously in work the y are not a ble to do personally . 11tis strategy affects the pronouns you use. Throughout the letter, use toe to talk abou t your group . However, at the end, talk about what you the reade r will be doing. End positively, with a picture of the reader's dollars helping to solve the problem.
Coasr Gap/cal Savings and Richmond Cares, Richmond Gives proudly presenc !heir Leadership Richmond-Youch Now, designed to harness rhe leadership pocenUal found In chelr commun;cy by training young adulcs whO are high schOOl graduaces and under the age of 26 ro serve as board members for local non-prof/! organizaclons. These unceers are among the 65'6 of canadian ceenagers who volunceer (the hlghesc partlclpaUon of any group). Source: Courtesy of R•chmond Cares. R1chmond Gives.
Providing extensive infonnation in a fundraising letter a chieves these results:
• Helps to persuade readers
• Gives supporters evidence to use in conversations with others
• Gives readers who are not yet supporters e\·idence to see the group as worthwhile
In your c lose, in addition to asking for money, suggest other ways readers can help: doing volunteer work; scheduling a meet- ing on the subject; writing letters to Parliament, the provincial legislature, or the leaders of other cmmtries; and so on. By sug- gesting other ways to participate, you not only involve readers, but also avoid one or the traps of fundraising letters: sotmding as though you are selfish, interested in readers only for their money.
Deciding How Much to Ask For
Most le11ers lo new donors sugge&t a range of amow1ts, from $25 or $50 (for employed people) up to perhaps double what you really expecllo gel from a single donor. A second strat- egy is to ask for a small, set amount that nearly everyone can afford (e.g., $10 or $15). Annual letters to past donors often use the amount of the last donation as the lowest suggested gift, with other gifts 2596, 5<m, or even 100% higher.
One of ll1e several reasons people give for not contributing is llut a gifl of $25 or $100 seems too small to matter. lt's not. Small gifts are important both in themseh·es and to establish
a habit of giving. In addition, some of the people who can give only $25 or even $5 today will someday have more money.30
Always send a thank-you leller to people who respond to your letter, whatever the size or their gifts. By telling about the group's recent work, a thank-uou letter c an help reinforce donors' commitment to your cause.
Logical Proof in Fundraising Letters
The body of a fundraising leuer must prove the following:
1. The problem deserves the reader's attention.
2. The problem can be solved or at least alleviated.
3. Your organization is helping to soh·e it.
4. Private funds are needed.
5. Your organization will use the funds wisely. (See •• Figure 9.12.)
1. The ProbiPm the R ader's Attention lf your problem is life threate ning, give some statistics. For example, tell how many people are killed in Canada every year by drunk drivers or distracted driving. Also tell about one individual who is affec ted.
2. The Problem Can B olv d or Alleviated People will not give money if they see the problem as hope- less. Sometin1es you can reason by analogy. Cures have been found for other deadly diseases, so it's reasonable to hope that research can fmd a cure for cancer and AlOS. Sometimes you can show that short-term or partial solutions exist. For exam- ple, a UNlCEF letter showed that four sin1ple changes could save the lives of millions of children: oral rehydration, inunu- nization, promoting breastfeeding, and giving mothers card- board growth charts so they will know if their children are malnourished. Those solutions keep d1ildren alive while we work on long-term solutions to poverty.
3. Your Organization Is Helpmg to Solve or Alleviate th o m Talking about specific successes helps readers believe that you can accomplish your goals.
4. Private Funds Are N..,edf"d lf your group docs get some lax or fotmdation money, s how why more money is needed. If I he organization helps people who might be expected lo pay for I he service, s how why tl•ey cannot pay, or why they cannot pay enough to cover the full cost. lf some of lhe funds have been raised by the people who will benefit, make t11at clear.
5. Your Organization Will Use the Funds Wisely Prove that the money goes to lhe cause, notjU&-t to the cost of fundraising.
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES • 225
On the Job Youth Giving for a Good Cause*
While good deeds by Canadian business (a nd their impact on the bottom line) are well known, the volunteer contri butions by Canadian youth (15 to 1q years ) are perhaps less well celebrated.
66% of youth (15-1q years ) volunteer a n average a nnual 110 hours. 20% of youth volunteer to meet educational or other req,uirements. Access to the job market is a s ignificant driver for youth. 25% of volunteers over age 15 commit time to social ser- vices; 2 4% to sports and recreation.
26% of under 35-year-olds search for volunteer opportunities on the Internet. Younger volunteers claim enhanced skills. In addition to contribut ing to community well-being, volunteers
are reported to stre ngthe n s kills and employability; enhance their own well-being, health, a nd sense of belonging; and re duce risk factors. Although high school mandatory volunteering hours are a fa ctor, q1% youth a lso report info rmal volunteering in the previous year.
• Based on Volunteer Canada. · oata on Giving. Volunteering and Participating in accessed March 3, 2 017, https:jjvolunteer.cajgvp; Maire Sinha, "Volunteering in Canada. 2004-2013." Stat istics Canada, June 18, 201 5, accesse<l http:/ jwww.statcan.gc.cajpub/Sq 652 X/Sq 652 x2015003 eng.pdf: Martin Turcotte. · volunteering and Charitable Giving in Statistics Canada, January 30. 2015. accessed March 3. 2017. http:/ jwww. statcan.gc.cajpub/Sq 652 X/Sq 652·x2015001 eng. pdf: Simon Tessier, Ngli\Jen Minh·Nguyet, Kathleen Gagnon, and 1e Centre de Benevolat de Laval. "Youth Volunteerism: Research Imagine canada 2006, accessed March 3. 2017. http:/ ;www.imaginecanada.cajsites/default/files;www;en/ library/kdc<:dc/laval_youthstud!J_report.pdf.
Emotional Appeal in Fundraising Letters
Emotional appeal is needed to make people pull out their cheq_uebooks. A mild appeal is unlikely to sway someon e who is not a lready conunitted, bu t readers will feel manipulated by appeals they fmd too strong and reject them. If you don't know your audience well, use the strongest emotional appeal you fee l comfortable with.
Emotional appeal is created by specifics. It is hard to care about, or even to imagin e, a million people; it is easier to care about one specific person. Details a n d q,uotes h elp readers see that person as real a n d yield greater responses.
LOS
STRATEGY IN RACK CARDS AND BROCHURES Rack cards (see Figure 9. 13) and brochures can serve sev- eral purposes: they can build general s upport for an organi- zation or candidate, give specific information (e.g., "How to Cope Chemotherapy"), or even have a reply coupon that readers can return to buy a book, register for a conference, or donate to a cause.
Popular in the hospitality an d tourism sectors, the rack card is a cost-effective, colourful, and portable way of getting your message o ut The strategy for a rack card is based on clean design and clear messages that ma k e a udience action easy. The front of the rack card grabs attention an d commu- nicates key messages; a back panel can add details about the organization, such as produc ts and services, discounts a nd other benefi ts, and a locator map.
226 PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AND EMAIL MES SAGES
To create a broch ure, consider the following:
• Determine your purpose(s) and your a udience(s). • Think about where and how your brochure will be distributed. • Consider visual constraints and clutter that your brochure
needs to overcome: other brochures, a holder that will block the bottom portion of the cover, and so forth.
• Plan photos and other visual elements.
To keep a brochure size manageable, you might focus on just one of the programs or products you offer. For exam- ple, the Heifer Project brochure (see Figure 9.14) focuses on the Kids 2 Kids program and doesn 't men tion any of its other programs. Choose a central selling point or theme. See •• Chapter 4 o n d esigning brochures.
Figure 9 .13 Rack Card Displays Introduce Area Amenit ies
Source: Chris Howes/Wild Places Photography/Alamy.
Figur e 9.14 Inside Panels of a Brochure
..,. Inside Panels
..,. Quotation
..,. Startling statement
X Most para- graphs should
be ? lines or less
..,. Details explain, 'Why
goats?'
L06
"Foster Mother to the Human Race"
ln a world In which hunger seems to d efy large- stale solutions, the answer may well lie with a much smaller one. the goat.
f o r most of the world 's people, goat's mllk Is the only mil k they have ever known. However, in many countries even goat's milk is in shor t sup ply. When children- at the most nutritionally vulnerable point In their Jives - are deprived of mllk. the consequences are d isastrous. An absence o f milk io their diet makes children easy targets for malnutrition and disease.
Goats offer an ideal solution to this grave s it uation. Goat's milk is as hJghly nutrltJo us as that o f any daJry animal. In fact, if child ren d rink o nly one liter of goat's milk per day, they will be consuming an o f the p rotein requir ed for the first six years of life. and more t han half o f what they need t o become teenagers and grow Lnto aduJt. hood . Even more impressive Is the fact that this same single IJter prov1des all the calcium required at almost every stage o f life.
Just as Important. goats require an extremely low investment and are very easy t o keep. They will eat almost any kind of forage. need very little. space. and are comfor table In a wide range of cUmates. They can also go lo nger without wa ter than most other far m animals and reproduce q uickly, allowing families to build their herds while producing ex1ra milk to sell for income. Moreover, goat manure makes excellent fertUlzer.
WRITING STYLE Direct mail is one kind of business writing where elegance and beauty of language matter. Direct mail intitates the word choice a n d rhytlun of conversation; its language shimmers with intages, echoes sound, and vibrates witl1 energy.
Humour is used sparingly because sales letters and bro- chures a re focused on a direct subscribing to a magazine or contributing to a cause. Hun10ur can actually distract t11e a udience from t11at purpose. Still, some use hwnour in their direct mail, perhaps because hun10ur is part of what they are known for. One of the most successful ntailings by The Nation magazine featured a caricature of President George W. Bush wearing a crown, along the words, "Don't you j ust love this guy? If your answer is yes, don't open this envelope . ..aJ
1 . Make Your Writing Interesting
If the style is long-winded and boring, readers stop read- ing. Eliminating wordiness is crucial. You have already seen
f'inaJiy, goats and children appear to have a natural afflnlty fo r one another. Even young children are able to raise aJld take care o f their family's goats. Such respo nsibility helps children gain the that comes f rom p laying a sign ificant ro le in t heir family's economic Life .
At a cos t o f onJy $120 for a goat and the training In Its care- o r $10 fo r a share of a goat - Helfer P·roject•s Klds-2.Klds CAmpaign mak es it possible for us to send this to,Jr·footed economi <.: miracle to needy ch ild ren and their families all over the world . We invite you to take a glimpse into just some of the places where this mlracJ e is taking place.
..,. Banners unify panels
..,. Whatmoney - buys
\(IDS•l·ICID\ ..,- ---
ln NepaL
___ __.._ ..,. Logo ban- ner separates stories
Ten years ago, when she got the id ea t hat would change her life, Gyandh arl Basel couJd not even write her own name. Forced as a young gtrl t o migrate from her native h ill count ry to Nepal's southern plains,
Gyandhari helped her f3mily eke o ut a bare living as subsistence farm ers. She was typical of many women in her situation. lmpoverlshed and soon married with four childr en of h er own.
Gyandharl and several of her fr iends made the decJsion to band toget her to d o w hat had previously been considered impossible. In a lan d
ways to tighten your writing in Chapter 3. Direct mail goes further, breaking some of the rules of gramntar for specific effects. Note h ow sentence fragments are used in parallel structure to move readers along:
So tiny , it fits virtually unnoticed in your pocket. So m eticulously hand-assembled by unhurried craftsmen in Switzerland, that production may never exceed demand. So e veryday useful, that you will wonder how you ever got along without it.
(Letter asking for inquiries about a mobile phone.)
2. Use Sound Patterns to Emphasize Words Wh en you repeat soun ds, you create patterns that catch the reader's attention, please the ear, a n d emphasize the words. Allit e ration occurs when several syllables begin with the same soun d (see the S cie nce84 opener un der "Narration, Stories, An ecdotes" in this chapter). Rhgme is th e repeti- tion of th e fin al vowel sounds and, if the words end with consonants, the fina l consonan t sounds. Rhythm is the
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES 227
repetition of a pattern of accented an d un accented sylla- bl es. Rhyme, rhythm, and the rule o f thr ee explain some of the lastin g power o f The Three Bears an d Three Blind .Mice! T he r ule of three exp lains that w h en y ou have a series of thr ee i tems that ar e logically pa rallel, the last r ecei ves the most emp hasis:
Nightcalls, pratfalls, and jungle shrieks ... a scattering of wings , a chattering of monkeys, and big , yellow eyes in my headlights!
(Headline, sales letter for an all-terrain vehicle.)
3. Use Psychological Description
In a sales Jetter, yo u can use psy chological description ( •• Figure 9. 7) to create a scenario so r eader s can pi cture them- sel ves using your p roduct or service and enj oying its benefits. You can also use psy chologi cal descrip tio n to describe the p roblem your p roduct will sol ve.
4 . Make Your Letter Sound Like a Letter, Not an Ad
Maintain the image of one person writing to another person- that is the fo undation of all letters. Use an informal style short wor ds and sentences, and even slang.
Canada is home to the second largest charitable and non-profit sector in the world; the Netherlands is first. Canada is also the sixth most giving country in the world (Myanmar is in top spot), according to the World Giving Index, which caut ions that its cri- teria (i.e., helping strangers, donating to charity, and volunteer- ing) are subject to cultural differences of understanding. Being happy-not wealthy-correlates strongly with giving.
The Canadian charitable sector represents the following: • 8 .1% of the Canadian GOP • A sector larger than the automotive or manufacturing industries
You can also cr eate a p er sona- the character who alleg- edly writes the letter- to ma k e the Jetter interestin g an d keep the audien ce r eading. Use the rhy thms of speech, vivid images, and conversational words to cr eate the effect that the author is a "character." The following opening cr eates a per sona w ho f its the product:
Dear Friend:
There's no use trying. I've tried and tried to tell peo- ple about my fish. But I wasn't rigged out to be a let- ter writer, and I can't do it. I can close-haul a sail with the best of them. I k now how to pick out the best fish of the catch, I know just which f ish will make the tasti- est mouthfuls, but I'll never learn the knack of writing a Jetter that w ill tell people why my k ind of fish- fresh- caught prime..grades, right off the fishing boats with the deep-sea tang still in it- is lots better than the ord inary store kind.
(Sales letter, Frank Davis Fish Company) This Jetter, with its "Aw, shuck s, I can' t sell" p ersona, with
language d esigned to mak e you see an unassuming fisher- man ("rigged out; "close-haul"), was written by a prof essional advertiser .32
Figures 9.15, 9. 16, and 9. 17 provide ch ecklists for writing per suasi ve direct req,u ests, indirect problem-solving per sua- si ve messages, and AIDA persuasive plans, respectively.
2 million employees (11.1% of the • economically active") $106 billion in revenues and 170,000 non-profit and chari- table organizations 54% of organizations run exclusively by volunteer staff 4 7% Canadians (over 13 million) volunteering 2 billion hours 45.1% of income comes from sales of goods and services
• Adapted from Charities Aid Foundation. CAF Wortd Giving Index 2016, October 2016. accessed https:j jwww.cafonline.org/about usjpublicationsj2016- publications;caf-world-giving-index·2016; Imagine Canada, "'Key Facts about Canada's accessed March 3, 2017, from http:/ jwww.imaginecanada. cajresources-ancf.tooisjresearctl ancf.facts/key-facts.about-canada%E2%80%qqs-charities; Imagine Canada. '"Sector accessed http:/ ;www. imaginecanada.ca/resources-andotools/sector-souroe-resources-charitable-sector: Imagine Canada. '"Sector Impact," aocessed http:/ ;sectorsource.caj research-and-impact/sector-impact.
228 PART 3 LETTERS, MEMOS, AND EMAIL MESSAGES
Figure 9.15 Checklist for Persuasive Direct Req_uests
0 If the message is a memo, does the subject line indicate the req_uest? Is the subject line specific enough to differentiate this message from others on the same subject?
0 Does the first paragraph summarize the req_uest or the spec1fic topic of the message?
0 Does the message g1ve all of the relevant information? Enough detail?
0 Does the message answer q_uestlons or overcome objections that readers may have without introducing unnecessary negatives?
0 Does the last paragraph tell readers exactly what to do? Does it give a deadline if one exists and a reason for acting prompUy?
And, for all messagea, not juat direct requests:
0 Does the message use you-attitude and positive emphasis?
0 Is the style easy to read and friendly?
0 Is the visual design of the message inviting?
o Is the format correct? 0 Does the message use standard
grammar? Is it free from typos?
Figure 9.16 Checklist for Indirect Problem- Solving Persuasive Me ssages
0 If the message is a memo or email, does the subject line indicate the writer's purpose or offer a reader benefit? Does the subject line avoid making the req_uest?
o Does the first sentence mterest readers? o Is the problem presented as a joint problem both writer
and reader have an interest in solving. rather than as something the reader is being asked to do for the writer?
o Does the message give all of the relevant information? Is there enough detail?
0 Does the message overcome objections readers may have?
o Does the message avoid phrases that sound dictatorial, condescending , or arrogant?
0 Does the last paragraph tell readers exactly what to do? Does it give a deadline and a reason for acting promptly?
Figure 9.17 Checkli st for AIDA Persua sive Plan
o Does the opener catch the reader' s attention and prepare for the body?
o Does the body provide a chain of reasons and logic? 0 Does the body provide emotional links? Word pictures?
o Does the message give all of the relevant information? Is there enough detail?
o Does the message overcome reader objections and increase desire?
o Does the last paragraph tell readers exactly what to do? Does it make it easy to act promptly? Does it include positive emphasis?
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES • 22q
SUMMARY OF KEY POINTS
• Analyze a persuasive situation by answeting these four q_uestions: • Vlhat do you want people to do? • Vlhat objections, if any, will the audience have? • Bow strong is your case? • Vlhat kind of persuasion is best for the organization and culture?
• Use the persuasive strategy your organization prefers. • Use the persuasive direct pattern when the audience will fmd it easy to
do as you ask. Also use the direct req_uest pattem for busy readers who may not read all the messages they receive.
• Use the indirect problem-solving pattern when the audience may resist doing what you ask and you expect logic to be more important than emotion in the decision.
• To organize sales messages, use the indirect AIDA persuasive plan. The AIDA pattern focuses on attracting attention (A), and arousing interest (I) and desire (D) to elicit action (A). It is as relevant to persuasive as to sales messages.
• The basic strategy in sales appeals is satisfying a need. Remind people of the need your product meets, prove that the product will satisfy that need, show why your product is better than similar products, and make readers want to have the product.
• In a fundraising appeal, the basic strategy is vicarious participation. By donating money, readers participate vicariously in work they are not able to do personally.
• The body of a fundraising req_uest must prove that (1) the problem deserves the reader's attention, (2) the problem can be solved or alleviated, (3) your organization is helping to solve it, (4) private funds are needed, and (5) your organization will use the funds wisely.
• Rack cards are cost-effective, colourful, and portable ways of getting your message out. Strategy is based on clean design and clear messages that make audience action easy. The front grabs attention with key messages; a back panel can add details about the organization, its products and services, discounts and other benefits, and a locator map.
• Brochure strategy depends on your purpose(s) and audience(s). Think about where and how your brochure will be disttibuted. Consider visual constraints and clutter your brochure needs to overcome. Plan photos and other visual elements around a central selling point.
• Good writing for sales and fundraising is interesting, specific, and conversational, uses sound pattems to emphasize words, and uses psychological desctiption.
230 • PART 3 LETIERS, MEMOS, AND EMAIL MESSAGES
EXERCISES AND PROBLEMS
GETTING STARTED
9.1 WRITING PSYCHOLOGICAL DESCRIPTION
Choose one of the following five topics and write two or three paragraphs of psychological description that could be used in a brochure, news release, or direct mail letter. In choosing your words, consider what will appeal to your audience (some audi- ences are suggested in the first three cases). 1. Having a personal trainer
Au diences: Professional athletes
Busy ma nagers
Someone trying to lose weight
Someone making a major lifestyle change after a heart attack
2. Buying a cell phone
Audiences: People who do a lot of big-city driving
People who do a lot of driving in rural areas
People who do a lot of flying
3. Buying a laptop computer
Audiences: University and community college students
Financial planners who visit clients at home
Sales representatives who travel constantly
People who make Power Point presentations
4. Attending a fantasy sports camp (you pick the sport), playing with and against retired players who provide coaching and advice.
5. Attending a health spa where clients get low-fat and low-calorie meals, massages, beauty treatments, and guidance in nutrition and exercise.
Hints:
• For this assignment, you can combine benefits or progranlS as if a single source offered them a ll.
• Add specific details about particular sports, activities, and so on, as material for your description.
• Be sure to move beyon d reader benefits to v ivid details and sense in1pressions.
• Put your benefits in you-attitude.
9.2 EVALUATING SUBJECT LINES
Evaluate the fo llowing subject lines. Is one subject line in each group clearly best? Or does the "best" line depend on company culture, whether the message is a paper memo or an email message, or on some other factor? As your professor directs, peer grade answers.
1. Subj ect: Request
Subj ect: Why I Need a New Com puter
Subj ect: Increasing My Producti vity
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES • 2 31
2. Subject: Who Wants Extra Hours?
Subject: Holiday Work Schedule
Subject: Working Extra Hou rs during the Holiday Season
3. Subject: Student Mentors
Subject: Can You Be an Email Mentor?
Subject: Volunteers Needed
4. Subject: More Wine and Cheese
Subject: Today 's Reception for Japanese Visitors
Subject: Reminder
5. Subject: Reducing Absen teeism
Subject: Open ing a Day Care Centre for Sick Children of Em plo yees
Subject: Why We Need Expanded Da y Care Facilities
9. 3 EVALUATING OPENER DRAFTS
The following are the results of a session brainstonning openers for a letter raising funds for a conmmnity college that has suf- fered budget cuts. Suggest ways to improve each opener. Which seems the most promising? Why? 1. Do you realize that there are students who are getting a poorer education than you got from the same program you
attended?
2. We are in danger of losing our accreditation.
3. Engineering students using dial calipers of only 10% the accuracy n eeded ... cancelled library subscriptions ... bigger classes ... closed courses ... obsolete eq,uipment. ... Budget cuts have made it harder for XYZ students to get a good education.
EVALUATION AND ETHICS ASSIGNMENTS
9.4 EVALUATING SALES AND FUNDRAISING LETTERS
Collect the saJes and fundraising letters that come to you, your co-workers, neighbours, or family. Use the following q_uestions to evaJuate each package: • What mode does the opener use? ls it related to the rest of the letter? How good is the opener?
• What central selling point or common ground does the letter use?
• What kinds of proof does the letter use? Is the logic valid? What q_uestions or objections are not answered?
• How does the letter create emotionaJ appeaJ?
• Is the style effective? Where is sound used to emphasize points?
• Does the close tell readers what to do, ma k e action easy, give a reason for acting promptly, and end with a positive picture?
• Does the letter use a P.S.? How good is it?
• Is the letter visually a ttractive? Why or why not?
• What other items besides the letter are in the package?
As Your Professor Directs :
a. Share y our analysis of one or more letters with a small group of your classmates.
b. Analyze one letter in a presentation to the class. Make slides or photocopies of the le tter to use as a visual aid in your presentation.
232 • PART 3 LETTERS, MEM OS, AND EMAIL MESSAGES
c. Analyze one letter in a memo to your professor. Provide a copy or photocopy of the letter along your memo.
d. With several other students, write an analyzing one part of the letter (e.g., openers) or one kind of letter (e.g., political letters, organizations fig hting hunger, e tc.). Use at least four letters for your analysis if you look at only one part; use at least two letters if you analyze one kind of letter. Provide copies as an appendix to your report.
9.5 THE ETHICS OF "UP TO"*
As companies struggle to be noticed in direct ma il and on the Interne t, many are temp ted to exaggerate. A phrase that is easy to misuse is up to. This phrase suggests the offer approaches the upper limit, but it does not really promise anything. Consumers learn to distrust such unethical appeals-and the companies that make them.
The email offers contain "up to" promises. Rewrite each offer so that it is both ethical and appealing. As your professor directs, discuss and grade answers in pairs.
1. Save up to $22,000 on latest SUV models! Visit dealer for details.
2. You're pre-approved for up to 10,000 bonu s miles! We have reserved up to 10,000 bonus miles. You get 1,000 miles each time you rent a car from selected merchants. You get 200 bonus miles for phone services from selected provid· ers. See reverse for credit card disclosures regarding rates and fees.
3. Get up to $100 cash back on your telephone service. Eligible customers will receive a $25 coupon for each q_ualifying service: long Distance, Privacy Features , DSL Connection, and Wireless Deluxe.
•Thi s exercise is based on Herschel! Gordon Lewis, to No Good; Oirecr, January 2004.
9.6 ANSWERING AN ETHICS QUESTION
You a re a senior staffer in a charitable organization. Today, you get this message f rom your boss:
Subject: Using " Handwritten" Messages
I' d like your feedback on the suggestion from our direct mail consultant to use a mailing with handwritten notes. I under- stand the argument that this will increase response. But the idea of hiring people who don't have any relation to us to write notes-and implying that the notes are by loyal donors- seems unethical. And frankly , I worry about the image we would create if our real donors learned that we had done this.
What do you think?
As Your Professor Directs:
a. Answer the q,uestion, using a charitable organization that you know something about.
b. Answer the q,uestion, assunting that it comes f rom a federal candidate.
c. Answer the q,uestion, assunting that the strategy has been reconm1ended for a sales rather than for a fundraising letter.
d. Write an email message to your professor j ustifying your answer.
COMMUNICATING AT WORK
9.7 WRITING COLLECTION LETTERS
You have a small desktop publishing firm. Unfortunately, not a ll your clients pay promptly. As your professor directs, write letters for one or more of the situations. 1. A $450 bill for designing and printing a brochure for Juggles Inc., a company that provides clowns and jugglers for parties,
is now five weeks overdue. You have phoned Each tin1e the person answering the phone promised to send you a cheq_ue, but n othing has happened.
2. A $2,000 bill for creating a series of handouts for a veterinarian to distribute to clients. This one is really embarrassing: some how you lost track of the invoice, so you n ever followed up on the original (and only) bill. The bill is now 72 days overdue.
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES • 233
3. A $3,750 bill for designing and printing a series of 10 brochures for Creative Interiors, a local interior decorating shop, is three weeks past due. When you billed Creative Interiors, you got a note saying that the design was not acceptable and that you would not be paid tmtil you redesigned it (at no extra charge) to the owner's satisfaction. The owner had approved the preliminary design for the brochures; she did not expla in in the note what was wrong the final product. She is never free when you a re; indeed, when you call to try to schedule an appointment, you are told the owner will call you back- but she never does. At this point, the delay is not your fault; you want to be paid.
4. A $100 bill for designing (but not actually creating) a brochure for a cleaning company th at, according to its owner, plarmed to expand into your city. You got the order and instructions by ma il and talked to the person on th e phone but never met him. You tried to call once since then (as m uch to try to talk hin1 into having the brochures printed as to collect the $100); the number was no longer in service. You suspect th e owner may no longer be in business, but you would like to get your money.
9.8 PERSUADING PEOPLE TO USE BETTER PASSWORDS
Your computer s ystem requires employees to change their password every three months. But many people ch oose passwords that are easy to guess. According to Deloitte & Touche's fraud unit, the 10 most co nun only used passwords are ( 1) the employ- ee's name or child's name, (2) "secret; (3) stress-related words ("deadline," "work"), (4) sports teams or terms, (5) "payday," (6) "bonkers," (7) the current season ("auttmm," "spring"), (8) the employee's ethnic group, (9) repeated characters(" AAAAA "), (10) obscenities and sexual terms ("Hackers' Delight," Business Week, Febmary 10, 1997, p. 4).
As director of management information systems (MIS), you want employees to choose passwords that hackers can't guess on the basis of an employee's background. The best passwords contain numbers as well as letters, use more characters (at least five; preferably eight), and aren't real words.
Write an email message to a ll employees, urging them to choose better passwords.
9.9 PERSUADING GUESTS TO ALLOW EXTRA TIME FOR CHECKOUT
Your hotel has been the headq_uarters for a convention, and on Sunday morning you are expecting 5,000 people to ch eck out before noon. You are staffing the checkout d esk to capacity, but if everyone waits till 11:30 a.m. to check out, things will be a disaster.
You want to en courage people to allow e.xtra time. And they don't have to stand in line at all: by 4:00a.m., you will put a statement of curren t charges under each guest's door. If that statement is correct and the guest is leaving the bill on th e credit card used at check-in, the guest can just leave the key in the room and leave. You will mail a copy of the final bill together with any morning charges by the end of the week.
Write a one-page message that can be pu t on pillows when the rooms are made up Friday and Saturday night.
9.10 REQUESTING MORE FUNDS FOR THE WRITING CENTRE
Your univers ity is facing maj or budget cuts. A popula r idea is to reduce or elinlinate funding for the Writing Centre. As the Centre's director, you are horrified by these ideas.
The Writing Centre offers free tutoring in writing to any student or faculty mem ber on campus. Your emphasis is not on fixing an individual paper, but on helping writers develop strategies they can use n ot o nly in this paper, but in everything they write.
The services you offer help students do better in classes. Your help is particularly inlportant when budget cuts are leading to larger classes, so that faculty spend less time with each stud ent Furth ermore, your operation is really q_uite efficient. You have only one paid regular faculty member on your staff; the rest are graduate teaching assistants (who are paid much less than faculty receive) or undergraduate peer tutors. Finally, the dollars involved aren't that great. Cutting the Centre's budget in half would mean you would have to tum away most students. Yet the dollars are small in comparison with th e budgets of large d epartm ents.
As Your Professor Direct s:
a. Write a memo to a ll faculty urging them to support full funding for the Writing Centre.
b. Write a news release for the campus newspaper about the problem.
c. Identify the person or group on your can1pus with the power to make budget decisions, and write to that group urging that it support a Writing Centre on your campus. Use information about the centre and the fiscal situation that fits your university.
234 • PART 3 LETIERS, MEMOS, AND EMAIL MESSAGES
Hints:
• Visit the Writing Centre on campus to get information about its hours and policies. Sign up for an appointment. What happens in a session? What parts a re especially helpful?
• Be sure to prove and limit your claims. Even if the Centre is fully funded, some students will be turned away. Even if its funding is increased, not everyone will write well.
• Be sure to use you-attitude and to make sure that the writing in your message is a good advertisement for your own writing skills.
9.11 CREATING A BROCHURE OR RACK CARD
In pairs or groups, create a brochure or rack card for a campus group or a non-profit organization. Turn in two copies of your brochure and a memo to your professor or post to the class blog. Explain your choices for strategy, content, wording, layout, visuals (if any), and colour (if any). Consider the following: • Would this brochure or rack card be part of a series?
• What are the purposes?
• Who are the audiences?
• Where will the brochure or rack card be physically available?
• Why did you choose your central selling point?
• Why did you choose to be more or less formal, more or less complete?
MINI CASE STUDY
9.12 THE CASE OF NEECHIE GEAR I NC.: WRIT I NG A SALES OR FUNDRAISING LETTER
You have found inspiration in the story of Kendal Netrnaker and his success with N eechie from which he gives 5% of his profits to his non-profit NG Athletics Club or to other children's sports groups ( •• An Inside Perspective). You admire the busi- ness model that keeps giving, even including an online training program for young entrepreneurs (i.e., Netmaker Academy). You aspire to be a successful entrepreneur and want to share your vision with the world based on your own additional research on Neechie Gear® and its associated programs.
As Your Professor Direct s:
a. Write a sales letter to promote Neechie Gear® and its products.
b. Write a 2.5-page letter to raise money from new donors for Netrnaker's NG Athletics Club. Assume that your letter would have a reply card and postage-paid envelope. You do NOT have to write these, but DO refer to them in your letter.
CHAPTER q PERSUASIVE AND SALES MESSAGES • 235