Art HW! Read before bid!
I’ll give you feedback based on the details you included above, but please take my
feedback generally. Always be sure that your final draft meets your assignment
requirements, even if they aren’t included above. If my feedback fits in with your overall
assignment goal, feel free to apply it to your final draft as you see fit. Now that we’re on
the same page, let’s get started.
So I would recommend working on your thesis statement.
Let’s talk about how to develop a strong thesis. Here are the basics. Keep in mind that this
isn’t the only way to tackle a thesis statement, but it’s a simple technique that can apply to many
types of arguments and essays.
Thesis Statement
Great! What is a thesis statement, and what function does it serve? A thesis
statement will give the reader a brief overview of the main argument/claim you are
making in your essay. The thesis statement often includes the points of support for that
argument. The thesis serves as a guide for what the essay will be about, which is why it
is introduced early in the essay (ideally in the introductory paragraph). This helps your
reader understand what's going on—your essay’s main point.
There are a couple of things you should keep in mind when writing a thesis.
*It is a claim rather than a fact. Your argument should take a strong stance on a topic,
and it should be debatable-- in other words, not everyone will agree with your position. If
you’re presenting a fact rather than an argument, it’s not really up for debate, right?
*It should be specific. Including both (your main argument) + (your points of support)
should help with this requirement.
*It should directly address your prompt in an efficient manner. In other words, try to
make sure that all the points in your prompt are answered, and that you answer with only
as many words as necessary to get your point across.
You might find these links helpful if you'd like to know more about the thesis
statement:
From the Purdue OWL:
https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/the_writing_process/thesis_statement_tips.html
Thesis Information from the Roane State Community College OWL:
https://www.roanestate.edu/owl/Thesis-Statements.html
Thesis information from University of Iowa (subject is history, but information is applicable
to many subjects):
https://clas.uiowa.edu/history/teaching-and-writing-center/guides/argumentation
So basically, your thesis statement needs to present your main argument—the main
argument that addresses your prompt. Here is your prompt question.
Prompt: The thesis statement answers question: Based on your formal analysis and your research,
what do you think is the meaning or significance of the artwork?
So your thesis should offer an argument that answers the question above. Now let’s
take a look at your current thesis statement. I’ll give you some feedback on how you might
develop it. So this part of your writing seems to address the prompt about the meaning or
significance of the painting.
Your current thesis statement: However, based on way it is depicted, it could be for showing the fashion of the rich in the society, It could also be showing the depiction of women in the society during the
era. Notably, artists work on their projects for various reasons; it could be for hire or pseudonymous work.
FEEDBACK: The main issue it that you don’t seem to present your argument. You
present possible arguments, but this is different from presenting your actual argument.
The main purpose of this essay is to present your main argument about what you believe
the meaning or overall significance of the painting is, and then to analyze the painting and
the historical context to support that argument.
So my main tip for you is to develop your thesis statement, that way the reader
knows what your main argument is. What do you believe about the significance of the
painting? What do you believe the meaning of the work is? You seem to possibly be
forming an argument here.
Possible argument? As such, it portrays how the society related with clothing and the use of
color contrasts; it exhibits fashion.
Do you believe that the artist is trying to convey a message about fashion? If this
is the focus of your argument, then you would have to develop it fully for your thesis. For
example, what do you believe the artist is saying about fashion? Is there a specific
message? This would form an argument. Again, this is just a potential argument—you
may or may not have actually wanted to form an argument about this topic, but the main
goal is to make sure that you have an actual argument stated in your thesis, whatever it
is; otherwise, you won’t really have an argument to support. Your main argument gives
focus to your essay; it is what you are trying to prove. So think about this as your develop
your thesis statement.
Take a look at the elements of the painting/the historical context, and then form
your original argument. Then clearly state that argument in your thesis. Here is an
example of how you might do that.
Tip: State the basics in your thesis
In order to establish the basics, it’s a good strategy do state the basic information
concerning the painting you chose. This would be the artist and the title. Here’s an
example.
Example thesis starter: In _______________________, Artist X ….
So the blank is for the title, and then Artist X would be the artist’s name. Then to
make sure you address the prompt, just use the same keywords (or similar words with the
same meaning) from the prompt. Here’s the prompt, with some keywords highlighted. I
will connect it to the thesis starter above.
Prompt: The thesis statement answers question: Based on your formal analysis and your research,
what do you think is the meaning or significance of the artwork?
Example thesis starter: In _______________________, Artist X’s message is that
_________________________________ …
The blue blank would state your argument about what you feel the meaning or
significance of the work is. You can play around with the order/words until you feel it
captures your argument.
Example thesis starter: In Artist X’s painting _______________________, the meaning
is _________________________ ….
Example thesis starter: In Artist X’s painting _______________________, the overall
significance is _________________________ ….
Then a good strategy would be to include your points of supports—what elements
of the painting allowed you to arrive at your argument? Here is an example of how to do
that.
Example thesis starter: In Artist X’s painting _______________________, the meaning
is _________________________ as demonstrated by _______________________,
_________________, and ____________________,
Example thesis starter: In Artist X’s painting _______________________, the overall
significance is _________________________, which can be seen through his choice
to _____________________________ and _____________________.
So in the purple blanks, you might include some of the elements of the painting that helped
you arrive at your argument. Okay so these are just basic examples of how to set-up a thesis
statement. The main goal is to answer your prompt and to give the reader a clear and specific
idea of your main argument—what you are aiming to prove in your essay. What can you come up
with?
Also, make sure it’s an original argument—that you are presenting your own
argument about the piece. What do you believe the artist is trying to show the viewer?
What is his message? How do you know this? What elements contribute to the
message/significance?
Then when you get to the body paragraphs, the goal is to prove your argument while
also following the order stated in your assignment prompt—your instructor gave a specific
order to follow, so be sure to do that. There are very specific goals, so be sure you fulfill
them as well. It’s really a matter of just looking at your prompt and making sure you’ve
fulfilled each goal.
Lastly, here are some general art resources you might find helpful.
Take a look at the thesis statement as an example: https://www.hamilton.edu/documents/formal%20analysis%20Art%20History.pdf
From the University of North Carolina’s Writing Center:
https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/art-history/
From Southwestern University:
https://www.southwestern.edu/live/files/4166-guide-for-writing-in-art-historypdf From the Paul J. Getty Museum: http://www.getty.edu/education/teachers/building_lessons/formal_analysis.html
Well, that’s about all the time I have left for this session. By thinking about the
topics we discussed, I’m sure your writing will be even stronger. I hope you found my
feedback helpful!