Jasim, You've included a thesis that takes a stance on this issue, included highly credible sources, and included supporting details in the body to develop the thesis. Please focus on the following areas in your revision: Adhere to MLA format in integrating sources, citing sources in the text, and formatting the works cited page. I cannot find an in-text citation for Grove, so please make sure you add it to the text of the essay. Thesis: revise the thesis to preview the idea of parents' use of security measures to filter out sexual content. Revise the language as well. Organization: add a lead-in to the introduction, and include transitions at the start of body paragraphs. Section headings are not sufficient to take care of this element. Add a separate conclusion. Support: add supporting detail related to your proposed solutions. The current level of detail is substantially less than that included for the problem. Other areas of concern (including language and paper formatting) are highlighted in the comments. Overall, there are several promising aspects of this essay, Keep going!-AST