Grief Debate

3

Grief Reflection

Question 1

One of the major grieving rituals in my community involves holding a rosario nine days after the death of a loved one; this typically involves flowers, prayers, candles and sharing of memories. Holding prayers is connected to our religion (Christianity). This ritual originated during the middle ages with the Romans.

Question 2

I have participated in a rosary; this event involved holding vigil, candles, prayers and being together with the grieving family. The family and friends gathered together to remember the dead individual. This event made me feel sad and despair.

Question 3

I have written an obituary before, for example, I helped my friend write an obituary of his deceased uncle. The process was easy; moreover, I often read obituaries when reading newspapers. A good obituary must start by announcing the death of an individual. Moreover, it must include full name, age, area of residence before death, and date of death. I have never spoken eulogy.

Question 4

I have participated in purchasing a casket for a dead individual. I went with my friend and his family members to purchase a casket for his uncle immediately after his death. I felt sad during the process of buying the casket as I viewed death as being cruel.

Question 5

I have personally experienced grief over the death of my uncle due to the COVID-19 pandemic. I felt that my grief lasted for more than a year. However, I was able to get over it by surrounding myself with resources for support and peace. Furthermore, I have experienced additional emotions in conjunction with feeling grief, for example, I experienced sadness and isolated myself from others due to being depressed after losing an uncle who often paid my school fees and supported my family.

Question 6

I have never experienced death firsthand; however, I have been in the visual presence of a dead body. The body was embalmed and it made me feel despair and shocked.

Question 7

I have experienced grief over the death of an individual I did not know personally. My friend lost his uncle in a car accident. My friend’s sad emotions motivated to grieve with him. Moreover, I took part in the grieving ritual of holding a vigil where I took gifts to the family. I was able to get over this grief after two weeks.

Question 8

The pandemic made to experience grief after losing an uncle to the epidemic. During this time, I felt sad, despair as well as shock to losing a loved one to the pandemic.

Question 9

I have visited a cemetery in Texas. I was visiting the grave of my uncle who passed away during the pandemic. I prayed and presented flowers on the grave. I felt sad and unhappy.

Question 10

I have visited a public mourning site in the United States. This was a permanent site established by the U.S government in remembrance of the dead soldiers. The existence of the site was inspired by the need to remember the soldiers who fought for U.S freedom. I was motivated to visit the site due to the need to feel part of the community. I felt sad and despair.

Question 11

I have participated in modern grieving ritual such as holding vigil for a dead individual. I participated in the ritual by taking gifts to the family of the deceased uncle as well as bringing flowers and lighting candles.

Question 12

I have never take part in s séance or other effort to talk to the dead.

Question 13

When growing up, death was discussed in my church and was portrayed as an extension of life. Death was often discussed in general. I experienced the discussion in a positive way as it signifies an extension of life.

Question 14

This reflection essay has made me think about ways of coping with grief or death of a loved one such as talking about it with others, and participating in rituals.

Reflection Exercise

Modern Grief and Grieving Rituals

This reflection forms part of the assignment for the unit on grief. Answer only those questions you feel comfortable answering. There are no right or wrong responses.

1. Describe grieving rituals in your family and/or community. Indicate which rituals are tied to formal religion or have a basis in a religion practiced by you, your family, and/or your community. For non-religious grieving rituals, describe their origin if possible. Indicate which grieving rituals require or usually involve the presence of the deceased body.

2. Which of the following grief events have you participated in: a funeral, a wake, a rosary, sitting shiva, scattering ashes, a memorial service, a burial, or another event not listed here? Describe the event, especially focusing on how the people in attendance acted/grieved. How did the grieving make you feel?

3. Have you ever written an obituary or some other memorialization of someone who has died? Was it easy or difficult to write? Do you ever read obituaries (such as in a printed newspaper)? What do you think makes for a good obituary? Have you ever given a spoken eulogy?

4. Have you participated in any of the following activities: buying a cemetery plot or crypt, buying a casket, arranging for/planning a grief event? Did these activities occur in the immediate aftermath of death, or as part of far-off planning? How did you feel?

5. Have you personally experienced grief over a death or other substantial loss? How long did you feel you were grieving? Did you “get over it”? Have you experienced additional emotions in conjunction with feeling grief? Which ones and why?

6. Have you observed death firsthand? What were the circumstances? How did you feel? Have you otherwise been in the visual presence of a dead body (other than at an open casket funeral or wake)? Was it embalmed? How did you feel?

7. Have you ever experienced grief over the death of someone you did not know personally? What motivated you to grieve? Did you participate in any grieving rituals? Did you “get over” this grief?

8. Have you experienced grief with regard to the pandemic? Was this because someone you knew died, or just generally due to the sheer number of deaths? How did this make you feel?

9. Have you ever visited a cemetery, aside from connection with a funeral? Where? Were you visiting the grave of someone you knew? What did you do when visiting the cemetery? Did you bring anything with you? How did you feel?

10. Have you visited or constructed any public mourning sites? Where? Where they formal (i.e., established by the government, an organization, etc.) or informal (grassroots, roadside, etc.)? Were they permanent or temporary sites? What motivated the existence of the sites? What motivated you to go to the sites? How did you feel?

11. Have you participated in any of the following “virtual”/modern grieving rituals, rituals that don’t involve the presence of the body: tattoos, car decals, t-shirts, social media memorializing, others? Describe your participation and who was being memorialized.

12. Have you ever participated in a séance or other effort to contact/talk to the dead? What happened? How did you feel? Have you ever seen a ghost? If so, describe.

13. When you were a child, was death discussed in your household, school, church? How was it portrayed? Was it discussed in relationship to a particular death (if so, who) or in general? Did you experience the discussion in a positive or negative way?

14. Is there anything else about grieving that this reflection essay has made you think about, that hasn’t been addressed by any of the above questions?