Stewart (2012) opines that family is having people close to you that protect you from strangers with ill will. The irony is, the people closest to you, can also hurt you the worst. This is especially true in Fireproof. Kirk Cameron’s character laments that he receives respect from everyone else BUT his wife. He even goes so far as to accuse her of “sucking the life out him.” Throughout the first half of the movie, we see the effects of criticism and anger between husband and wife. Stewart (2012) states the long history between family members means that everything said in the present is colored by what has happened in the past. Cameron’s character tells his father that simply walking in the door causes his wife to become upset with him. What he fails to realize is that every time he comes home, there is an argument that takes place with his wife. It makes sense with that in mind that his wife would be essentially “ready for battle” as soon as he got home, based on previous experiences.
Another interesting theme in the movie is the use of what Stewart (2012) calls “metacommunication.” In other words, metacommunication is the unspoken meaning behind words. Something that seems innocuous is said; however, based upon the other person’s knowledge and closeness to the speaker, that person can derive an entirely different message from the spoke words. For example, while Cameron’s character asked if his wife could take his uniform shirt to the cleaners. On the surface it seems like a reasonable request; however, his wife takes exception to his request, in her words “you had two days off…it seems like you could have got it done yourself.” His wife took his words to mean that he was treating her as his personal assistant when he was more than capable of taking his shirt to the cleaners over the previous forty-eight hours. It’s incredible the amount of assumed information that can be gleaned from one simple statement! When metacommunication is held to the light of relationships, it makes quite a bit of sense. Stewart (2012) states that we all want the ones we love to be our intimate ally who has your back and tells you that you’re doing everything right; however, sometimes our intimate ally implies that you’re doing everything wrong. I could continue on for hours about different communication issues found in the movie, as it is invariably a treasure trove of examples. I think an important take away from the movie is that unless communication between spouses is a collaborative shared event (Stewart, 2012), issues will definitely arise.
Stewart, John. Bridges Not Walls A Book About Interpersonal Communication. McGraw- Hill, 2012.