For DR.CLOVER: Government Essay Final Paper - Civil Rights Act 1964
Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019
Paper Title:
No. of Pages: 0
Paper Style: APA Paper Type: N/A
Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? No
Feedback Areas: General, N/A
Paper Goals: This assignment touches base on the governmental impact of the Civil Rights Act
of 1964.
Proofing Summary:
Hello,
I’m Porter, your writing tutor for the Writing Center. I have reviewed your submission and have provided some
suggestions which may help you revise your assignment. Please feel free to contact us through a 24/7 live writing
session with any follow-up questions or for any clarification.
Below, you will find a revision plan along with margin comments within your paper. Note that I have not proofread the
draft for minor errors, but rather, focused on larger concerns such as idea development. For a complete look at grammar
and punctuation, please use Grammarly: https://writingcenter.ashford.edu/grammarly
You have done a nice job of researching the Act and how it is still relevant today!
For your revisions, I suggest focusing on:
1. Thesis: Remember, including a thesis statement is vital to strengthening your paper. A thesis statement should be
placed as the last one or two sentences of your introduction paragraph. It is meant to provide a clear guideline of what
your paper will cover and should include the main points of your essay.
https://writingcenter.ashford.edu/writing-a-thesis
2. Paragraph development: You may want to make your paragraphs more concise and focused since they seem to have
more background information than needed to support your thesis. Try looking for areas where you go off-topic or have
already explained your point.
3. Academic Voice: Pay special attention to your choice of words when writing for an academic purpose. Avoid using
clichés and language that is too conversational. Try to use language that is specific, precise, and more formal. This does
not mean using long words, just words that are more polished. For more information and guidance on how to do this,
please see this resource:
http://writingcenter.ashford.edu/academic-voice
4. Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling: Before submitting this assignment, I suggest that you proofread and edit your paper
more closely. I suggest reading it aloud to yourself to catch all the little errors, and then running your paper through
Grammarly. Grammarly is a free proofreading and editing tool available to all university students. Grammarly flags
mistakes and helps you make sure your writing is clear and mistake-free.
Good luck in the course!
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Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019
Be sure to edit the template to reflect your own information.
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Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019
Consider developing a clear thesis
statement to add to the end of your
introductory paragraph. The thesis
statement should clearly state the
purpose, argument or points that will
be made in the paper.
You may want to guide the audience
using effective wording to state the
purpose of this essay without
statements like “this paper” or “I will
discuss.” This also establishes
academic tone.
page 3 / 10
Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019
The only italics in your paper
should be for larger works'
titles or in direct quotations.
Some of the information in your
paper seems to have been
obtained from a source, yet you
have not cited a source. You must
provide an in-text citation any time
that you summarize, paraphrase,
or directly quote another person’s
words or ideas. For help on when
and how to do this, refer to this guide:
http://writingcenter.ashford.edu/citing-within-your-paper
It is unclear what your intended
meaning is in this sentence.
Make sure you address the
subject specifically so your
reader understands what you
are referencing.
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Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019
If you are skimming and you notice
paragraphs that are one to four lines, there is
a good chance those paragraphs could use
some topic development.
It is helpful to add a variety to your
paper. Where you have multiple
single-subject sentences, see if you
can combine them into compound
sentences. This will help with flow.
page 5 / 10
Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019
You may want to make your
paragraphs more concise and focused
since they seem to have more
background information than needed
to support your thesis. Try looking for
areas where you go off-topic or have
already explained your point.
page 6 / 10
Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019
You may want to consider omitting
words which seem extraneous or
thinking of different ways to say the
same idea.
Be sure you are capitalizing
proper nouns.
You may consider reviewing the rules
for semicolons. A semicolon is used to
separate two closely related
independent clauses, provided they
are not already joined by a
coordinating conjunction. They can
also be used in place of commas to
separate items in a list, when the
elements of that list contain commas.
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Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019
Before submitting this assignment, I
suggest that you proofread and edit
your paper more closely. I suggest
reading it aloud to yourself to catch all
the little errors, and then running your
paper through Grammarly. Grammarly
is a free proofreading and editing tool
available to all university students.
Grammarly flags mistakes and helps
you make sure your writing is clear
and mistake-free.
page 9 / 10
Proofed Paper: ntp655759 - Fri Jul 26 15:39:12 EDT 2019
Be sure your References use DOI
numbers/journal names instead of
proxy URLs.
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