Graphical user interface, text, application Description automatically generated
Text Description automatically generated with low confidence
Graphical user interface, text, application Description automatically generated
Graphical user interface, text, application Description automatically generated
Graphical user interface, text, application Description automatically generated
Text, application Description automatically generated
Graphical user interface, text, application, email Description automatically generated
Graphical user interface, text, application Description automatically generated
Graphical user interface, text, application Description automatically generated
Graphical user interface, text, application, email Description automatically generated
Graphical user interface, text, application Description automatically generated
Graphical user interface, text, application Description automatically generated
Graphical user interface, text, application, email Description automatically generated
Graphical user interface, text, application Description automatically generated
Graphical user interface, text, application Description automatically generated
Graphical user interface, text, application, email Description automatically generated
Table Description automatically generated
Comments
There are some great points in this essay, it is well researched and your writing is quite sophisticated, well done
To improve, please read each of my comments carefully. Mainly, you need to a) link your ideas in paragraphs and in between sentences, with linking words to show how they link and b) make sure that your overall structure is clear.
This will significantly help the cohesion of your argument.
You may find some of the information in the BCT ppts useful as well, it's all there!!
Good luck with your revised version!