Active Listening
EXERCISE 4.6: LISTEN TO YOURSELF AS A PROBLEM SOLVER
In this exercise, you are asked to “listen to yourself” in retrospect as you worked through some important problem situation or spotted and developed some unused opportunity. Retell the story to yourself in summary form.
Example. Here is Acantha’s story in summary form. “What I have to say is retrospective. I don’t believe I was thinking this clearly back then. I got drunk during a football game and don’t recall clearly what happened afterwards. I woke up in a guy’s room. I knew I had been violated. I had no intention of having sex. At this point I became very aware of what I was doing. My intention that day was to relax and have fun. My assumption was that no one I was with had any ulterior motives. In one way I was not thinking straight. I should never have drunk too much, but at the time I did not say that to myself. I never made a decision to throw caution to the wind, but I did by letting others help me get drunk. My decision making abilities were lost. As soon as I woke up I began gathering my resources. I went for a long walk and thought things through. I decided not to confront anyone except myself. Although I hoped that I would not be pregnant, I began thinking how I would handle a pregnancy. Finally, I thought I needed to talk all of this through with a friend or, perhaps better, an objective counselor.”
1. Debrief Acantha’s story by answering the following questions.
What was the issue?
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What were her key experiences, that is, what happened to her?
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What points of view of hers were involved?
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What decisions did she make?
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What emotions did she experience and express?
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What did she do to cope with the problem or develop the opportunity?
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2. Now provide a case from your own life that describes how you managed a problem situation.
3. Debrief by answering the above questions.