Org leader hw 3
The Fundamentals of Emotional Intelligence
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Learning Objectives
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- Define Emotional Intelligence (EQ) competencies
- Describe the EQ Leadership Competencies
- Personal Competence
- Self (Emotional) Awareness
- Self (Emotional) Management
- Social Competence
- Social (Emotional) Awareness
- Relationship Management
- Team Leadership
- Understand how to develop EQ
- Reflect on individual EQ strengths and weaknesses
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What is Emotional Intelligence?
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Anyone can get angry—that is easy… but to [get angry with] the right person, to the right extent, at the right time, for the right reason, and in the right way is no longer something easy that anyone can do.
Aristotle
Greek philosopher and tutor to Alexander the Great
Emotional Intelligence: How leaders handle themselves and their relationships; the ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions.
Emotionally mature and competent leaders are aware of their own strengths and weaknesses. They spend their energy on self-improvement, while immature leaders usually waste their energy denying that there is anything wrong or analyzing the shortcomings of others. Mature, less defensive leaders benefit from feedback in ways that immature people cannot.
FM 6-22: Army Leadership
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Emotional intelligence is a greater determinant of leader success than purely cognitive skills or technical ability.
- James P. Lewis, Project Leadership
Two thirds of us are typically controlled by our emotions and are not yet skilled at spotting them and using them to our benefit…too often, we lack the skills to manage our emotions in the heat of the challenging problems we face.
- Bradberry & Greaves, Emotional Intelligence 2.0
No matter what leaders set out to do – whether it’s creating strategy or mobilizing teams to action – their success depends on how they do it. Even if they get everything else right, if leaders fail in this primal task of driving emotions in the right direction, nothing they do will work as well as it could or should.
- Goleman, Boyatzis & McKee, Primal Leadership: Realizing the Power of EI
As a PM, I hold a pragmatic view of emotional intelligence, thinking of it as “knowing and managing our own emotions and those of others for improved performance.” I am interested in the application of emotional intelligence to life in general, as well as specifically to the field of project management. In a project setting, the understanding and use of emotions helps us to have more enjoyable, predictable, and successful projects.
- Anthony Mersino, Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers
Why is EQ Important?
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- People with average IQs outperform those with high IQs 70% of the time. Research and studies pointed to emotional intelligence as a significant variable for this performance (Bradberry & Greaves).
- EI based competencies play an increasingly important role at higher levels of organizations where differences in technical skills are of negligible importance (Goleman, et al).
- EI contributes 80-90% of the competencies that distinguish outstanding from average leaders. Cognitive competencies, such as technical expertise, surface as threshold abilities – the skills people need simply to do an average job (Goleman, et al).
- The good news – EQ competencies are not genetically based, but can be learned, so that any individual can potentially improve his or her leadership skills!
EI/EQ versus IQ
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EQ Leadership Competencies
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- Personal Competency – your ability to stay aware of your emotions and manage your behavior and tendencies
- Self (Emotional) Awareness
- Self (Emotional) Management
- Social Competency – your ability to understand other people’s moods, behaviors and motives in order to improve the quality of your relationships
- Social (Emotional) Awareness
- Relationship Management
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EQ Leadership Competencies
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EQ Scores and Meanings
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Self (Emotional) Awareness
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Your ability to accurately perceive your own emotions in the moment and understand you tendencies across situations.
- Being in-tune with your inner emotions and understanding how your feelings affect job performance.
- Accurate self-assessment: Knowing your strengths and limitations.
- Self-confidence: Having an accurate assessment of your abilities and playing to your strengths.
- 83% of people high is self-awareness are top performers and just 2% of bottom performers are high in self-awareness.
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Self (Emotional) Awareness Strategies
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- Observe the ripple effect of your emotions
- Lean into your discomfort
- Know who or what pushes your buttons
- Keep a journal about your emotions
- Stop and ask yourself why you do the things you do
- Check yourself
- Seek feedback
- Get to know yourself under stress
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Self (Emotional) Management
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Your ability to use your awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and direct your behavior positively
- Self-control: Managing your disturbing emotions, even channeling them in useful ways.
- Transparency: Living your values – being open and candid with others about your feelings, beliefs, and actions.
- Adaptability: Juggling multiple demands without losing focus or energy – “rolling with the punches.”
- Achievement: Continually seeking ways to improve – constantly learning and teaching.
- Initiative: Taking control and cutting through red tape when seeing an opportunity.
- Optimism: Seeing the glass “half-full” rather than “half-empty.”
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Self (Emotional) Management Strategies
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- Create an emotion versus reason list
- Sleep on it
- Talk to a skilled self-manager
- Smile and laugh more
- Set aside time in your day for problem solving
- Take control of your self-talk
- Visualize yourself succeeding
- Speak to someone who is not emotionally invested in your problem
- Put a mental recharge into your schedule
- Accept that change is around the corner
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Social (Emotional) Awareness
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Your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what is really going on with them
- Empathy: Sensing a wide range of emotional signals in an individual or group and responding to these signals.
- Organizational Awareness: Reading the political climate of the organization to detect critical social networks and to read key power relationships.
- Adaptability: Juggling multiple demands without losing focus or energy – “rolling with the punches.”
- Service: Monitoring customer satisfaction to ensure that customers are getting what they need.
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Social (Emotional) Awareness Strategies
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- Greet people by name
- Watch body language
- Develop a back-pocket question
- Plan ahead for social gatherings
- Live in the moment
- Practice the art of listening
- Step into their shoes
- Seek the whole picture
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Relationship Management
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Your ability to use your awareness of your own emotions and those of others to manage interactions successfully (this skill taps into your abilities of the first three EQ skills)
- Inspiration: “Walking the talk” and offering a sense of common purpose beyond the day-to-day tasks.
- Influence: Being persuasive and engaging by finding the right appeal for a listener and building support for initiatives.
- Developing Others: Showing a genuine interest in those you are helping, understanding their goals, strengths, and weaknesses - coaching.
- Change Catalyst: Recognizing when change is needed. Challenging the status quo and acting as a champion for a new order.
- Conflict Management: Drawing out different perspectives while preventing such differences from becoming interpersonal and divisive.
- Teamwork and Collaboration: Drawing others into active, enthusiastic commitment to a collective effort – developing and cementing relationships.
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Relationship Management Strategies
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- Be open and be curious
- Avoid giving mixed signals
- Take feedback well
- Build trust
- Only get mad on purpose
- Don’t avoid the inevitable
- Acknowledge the other person’s feelings
- When you care show it
- Explain your decisions, don’t just make them
- Make your feedback direct and constructive
- Offer a “fix-it” statement during a broken conversation
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Team Leadership
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“Team Leadership is about getting the right people on your team, successfully communicating with and motivating them, and then clearing conflicts and other roadblocks so that they perform and achieve the project objectives.” - Anthony Mersino
Team Leadership Competencies:
- Communications
- Conflict Management
- Inspirational Leadership
Ref: Mersino, Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers
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Team Leadership - Communications
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Communicating with Emotional Intelligence:
- Understand your objective.
- Choose an appropriate time, place, and mode.
- Approach others with empathy.
- Listen and respond to the emotions or others. and not only to the content of what they say.
- Share your own emotions when appropriate. being as open and honest as possible.
- Check for understanding and reactions.
Ref: Mersino, Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers
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Team Leadership – Conflict Management
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- Conflict is inevitable.
- Conflict may be healthy.
- Conflict management is a leader’s job.
- Recognize that there is a conflict.
- Traditional approaches – which are appropriate?
- Compromising, Accommodating, Forcing, Avoiding, Collaborating
Ref: Mersino, Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers
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Team Leadership – Conflict Management
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Applying EI to Conflict Resolution:
- Understand the emotions.
- Identify the underlying need or want:
- Want to be recognized
- Want to be important
- Want to be productive
- Want to be promoted
- Want to feel part of the community
- Need to make more money
- Need to express themselves
- Need to be liked or loved
3) Work together to address the issue or conflict that is caused by the underlying want or need.
Ref: Mersino, Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers
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Team Leadership – Inspirational Leadership
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The ability to inspire others by casting a vision for the individual and the team.
- Vision casting is the process of stating a future, positive picture of the goals or objectives of the team, assisting the team to understand why they are important, and helping the team to connect with those goals and objectives.
- Mission
- Vision
- Values
Ref: Mersino, Emotional Intelligence for Project Managers
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Interesting Findings
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- EQ tends to increase with age.
- The biggest EQ gap between Baby Boomers (48-66 years old) and Generation Y (23-35 years old) is in their self-management skills.
- Women and men have the same average self-awareness score, while men score higher in self-management and women score higher in social awareness and relationship management.
- CEOs and other senior executives, on average, have the lowest EQ scores in the workplace. Middle managers have the highest EQ scores.
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Small Group Discussion
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1) Pick a group:
- Self Awareness
- Self Management
- Social Awareness
- Relationship Management
2) Consider Improvement Strategies.
3) Think of specific examples of how you will use some of the Strategies in your organization.
4) Report out to the large group.
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