Case Study Nike

Draft Written Report by YiFei Wang

Submission dat e : 08- May- 2018 08:50AM (UT C- 04 00) Submission ID: 9607 684 33 File name : 33168.2017 35_67 927 07 6_1055827 17 1_Draf t_Written_Repo rt.do cx Word count : 1521 Charact e r count : 8293

Awk.

Alan who? Provide this person's first and last name. What is the official title for this individual? VP of Marketing? Director of Public Relations? Etc.

Is Adidas or Nike the leading company? Who is ahead of whom?

Awk.

Run-on

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None of the competition

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"Such boosted the conoany's sales dramatically" is awkward. These products boosted the company's sales dramatically.

Do these subcontractors design or manufacture Nike's products?

Awk.

"The money on the table in China is a lot" is very awkward. "China is a large market for growth..." would be better

Run-on

This entire paragraph is poorly written and extremely confusing.

what is a "...helpless worker team..."

This draft is poorly written. Your report has lengthy sentences that don't state much information. Focus on more direct and factual language.

QM

QM

QM

QM

QM

FINAL GRADE

1/1 Draft Written Report GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

PAGE 1

Awk. Awkward: T he expressio n o r co nstructio n is cumberso me o r dif f icult to read. Co nsider rewriting.

Text Comment. Alan who ? Pro vide this perso n's f irst and last name. What is the o f f icial title f o r this individual? VP o f Marketing? Directo r o f Public Relatio ns? Etc.

Text Comment. Is Adidas o r Nike the leading co mpany? Who is ahead o f who m?

Awk. Awkward: T he expressio n o r co nstructio n is cumberso me o r dif f icult to read. Co nsider rewriting.

Run-on Run- o n sentence: T he sentence co ntains two o r mo re independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a perio d o r semico lo n.

Run-on Run- o n sentence: T he sentence co ntains two o r mo re independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a perio d o r semico lo n.

PAGE 2

Run-on Run- o n sentence:

QM

QM

QM

QM

T he sentence co ntains two o r mo re independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a perio d o r semico lo n.

Text Comment. No ne o f the co mpetitio n

Run-on Run- o n sentence: T he sentence co ntains two o r mo re independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a perio d o r semico lo n.

Run-on Run- o n sentence: T he sentence co ntains two o r mo re independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a perio d o r semico lo n.

Text Comment. "Such bo o sted the co no any's sales dramatically" is awkward. T hese pro ducts bo o sted the co mpany's sales dramatically.

Text Comment. Do these subco ntracto rs design o r manuf acture Nike's pro ducts?

PAGE 3

Awk. Awkward: T he expressio n o r co nstructio n is cumberso me o r dif f icult to read. Co nsider rewriting.

Text Comment. "T he mo ney o n the table in China is a lo t" is very awkward. "China is a large market f o r gro wth..." wo uld be better

Run-on Run- o n sentence: T he sentence co ntains two o r mo re independent clauses. Separate the clauses with a perio d o r semico lo n.

PAGE 4

Text Comment. T his entire paragraph is po o rly written and extremely co nf using.

Text Comment. what is a "...helpless wo rker team..."

PAGE 5

Text Comment. T his draf t is po o rly written. Yo ur repo rt has lengthy sentences that do n't state much inf o rmatio n. Fo cus o n mo re direct and f actual language.

PAGE 6