problem essay
The previous attachment gives an example of a thesis-driven essay/presentation. It is a good essay for review because it has both strong and weak points. We will go over them. Please note, however, that this would not be a passing grade for a presentation, so we’ll focus on what not to do.
The concepts explained here are the same ones we learned in English I. If you had another instructor, please read this and make sure you have been taught the same concepts. If anything is unclear, don’t hesitate to see me.
I. DRAFTING THE ESSAY
Most of us get “stuck” at the beginning, so the key is not to begin at the beginning. That is, do not worry about the Introduction. It is the first paragraph on your paper/presentation, but it is actually the last paragraph written.
The following may be done on “scrap” paper:
a. So, when given an assignment, we actually come up with a tentative thesis statement.
For example, if I select the three things I’d do if I won the lottery, I may come up with the following thesis statement:
If I won the lottery, I’d buy a mansion in Rhode Island, take my mother on a cruise, and give a large sum to charity.
This is a clear statement that tells my reader exactly what my speech is going to be about. Remember, although we are not concerned with the introduction yet, we do know that the thesis statement will be the LAST sentence of the introduction. So save it!
b. Now that I have my thesis, I should extract a topic sentence for each of the reasons.
The first thing I’d do with my money is buy a mansion in Rhode Island.
Next, I’d take my mother on a Caribbean cruise.
Since I would not want to be too selfish, I would give the rest of my money to my
favorite charity.
Each topic sentence will eventually introduce the supporting paragraphs in the body of my speech—one for each reason I give in the thesis.
II. BODY OF THE SPEECH
After my brainstorming session on scrap, I am now ready for the hard work—writing the body of the speech. Here are some basics:
a. each paragraph begins with the clear topic sentence.
b. each paragraph contains enough supporting sentences to fully explain the reason in the first sentence. There should be a minimum of 8 sentences. The average is anywhere from 8-15!
c. Avoid listing. That is, do not give a list of examples. Concentrate, rather, on one or two and explain those fully.
For instance, when I describe my house in Rhode Island, I may want to discuss the bedroom, each bathroom, the kitchen, the backyard, the family room. That is too long. I will opt to dedicate, for example, 5 sentences describing my bedroom and 5 describing my living room. Remember, specific details are important.
III. CONCLUSION
The conclusion is the easiest part. I begin with a reworded thesis and summarize the main points of my essay. It’s okay for the conclusion to be a little shorter than the body paragraphs.
IV. INTRODUCTION
Please remember that the introduction includes what “not” to do.
a. do not begin with thesis.
b. do not give away your topic until that last sentence.
c. do not preview your speech.
DO: provide general information leading to thesis statement.
For instance, since my paper is about what I would do if I won the lottery, I NEVER begin my speech with “If I won the lottery, I’d…”
I may:
a. include information on the different types of lotteries, how much tickets cost, etc.
b. mention what other winners have done when they win the lottery.