FOR DEANNA

Hi Christopher,

You have a really great start to your essay and it is clear that you thoroughly understand the prompt and the topic. Your introduction paragraph is strong, however, it can be even stronger if you consider implementing a few words about epistemic oppression so your reader knows it will be discussed throughout the paper. In the second paragraph, you do an excellent job of defining epistemic oppression as it is clear, concise but thorough. Nice job there. Your transition to the Patricia Williams example was smooth, so I suggest that you keep that but maybe just polish the overall paragraph a bit.

You dedicate several paragraphs at the beginning of the paper to address and define epistemic oppression. I suggest you add some information about the three orders of it so that you provide a more thorough analysis and this will help you in the remainder of the paper regarding Baldwin and his work. At least, I found it helpful for me when I was writing mine! Some of the quotes you used, for example "they countrymen do not know Harlem" can be used within the different orders to provide more explanation. In the paragraph where you address white innocence, I suggest you include the quote in "My Dungeon Shook" that starts with "this innocent country" because it is linked with the "innocent countrymen." It also connects to how the country overall has contributed heavily to the racism that exists today. Again, these are just some thoughts that I believe will improve your paper. In the second to last paragraph, you do a nice job of connecting white innocence to epistemic oppression, maybe just elaborate a bit more! Overall, your draft was really well written and you did an excellent job! Nice work! I hope my suggestions can help you strengthen your paper and arguments. Good luck with the final draft!