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Expectations of parenting are highly prescribed and the media is an important channel for adults learning what this role entails. The pedagogical role of the media involves making judgements on what counts as valid and desirable parenting practices and suggest goals to be(come) the 'good parent' -- a construct which appears to take no account of social inequalities, cultural diversity and complex social contexts. Our study focuses on idealised parenting in media settings and highlights the preferences and subject positions parents are expected to take. This identity work involves parents understanding their practices as the problem and learning new practices as the potential solution, which they need to initiate. The role of parenting experts is to position parents as responsible adults with the ability to make desired changes happen. Parents who refuse to develop the preferred skills risk appearing to be uninformed and ignorant. Located in this discourse parenting is a question of adult learning.

adult learning, governmentality, media, parenting, subject positioning

Introduction

Parenting is prominently featured in the mass communication media, which is evident in media settings that specialise in children, families and parents, and the many books, newspapers, magazines, and televison shows where parenting is discussed. These media settings create important aspects of learning parenting by focusing on how 'good parenting' is portrayed and negotiated in the media. To put it differently; how is 'the good parent' represented? We explore this theme through data drawn from two media settings, a magazine and a television show, to highlight norms, obligations and expectations relating to parenting practice.

Parenting and the media

In a discussion of popular culture Rose (1999a) claims that the media saturate people's lives, '… it [the social and cultural context] inheres in each of us, maintained and reactivated constantly by the images that surround us -- in advertising, on television, in newspapers and magazines, in the baby book' (p. 213). The media distribute images and ideas of how to be a happy and well-functioning family. Advice on how to treat your child is a very common topic, sometimes given as tips in a magazine on how to get your child to sleep, other times as discussions in television shows that focus on how to deal with children's behaviour. In these media practices, parenting is categorised, evaluated and corrected. Regardless of the genre, theme or dilemma that is at stake, norms and preferences concerning how to be a skilful parent are displayed. But at the same time, the opposite is also revealed, namely bad parenting'. Media practices display good as well as bad images of parenting, and these images can be seen as fashioning norms that function as frames of reference for how to be(come) good. Accordingly, parenting activities could be interpreted in terms of adult competence, where media settings are potential learning spaces for acquiring preferred knowledge and skills.

Parenting and the media is not a new area of research, and studies have been made on the construction of gender (e.g. Benwell, 2002, 2004) as well as motherhood and fatherhood (Coates, 1997; Talbot, 1998; Lazar, 2000; Sunderland, 2000, 2004, 2006). In a study of UK and US magazines devoted to the topic of childcare, Sunderland (2006) argues that even though these magazines address parents in their titles, rather than mother or father, they still use stereotypical gendered representations in their articles and illustrations. Furthermore, Sunderland concludes that 'the representation and address of fathers in these 'parenting' magazines are lagging behind actual, changing social practices' (2006, p. 524). As such, childcare magazines can be seen as conservative in their views on parenting.

Another media practice is parenting advice given on websites. Dolev and Zeedyk (2006) studied parenting advice on 20 websites a few months after the terrorist attack in New York in 2001. These websites show how happenings in society are expected to be handled in parent-child relations. They state that even when it comes to dealing with exceptional events, the media are there to guide parents: first, parents need to obtain professional help to handle extraordinary happenings, second, they are supposed to act on experts' advice to succeed, third, parents are treated as a homogeneous group. In sum, parents are less knowledgeable than experts.

In research on parenting and television much attention is focused on programmes like Supernanny, which many parents see as a source of ideas on childrearing (Miller, 2007). Programmes like these may be seen as edutainment -- a combination of entertainment and education -- in the sense that parents are to find the programme interesting and fun at the same time as they learn about topics such as how to deal with children's health and development (see Sanders and Prinz, 2008). Lately, there has been an increasing interest in how adults learn from popular culture (Jarvis, 2005; Tisdell, 2008; Tisdell and Thompson, 2007; Wright and Sandlin, 2009). Research on adult education has focused on how popular culture is a resource for teaching in the classroom and as a vehicle of the development of critical media literacy (Tisdell and Thompson, 2007), while research on adult learning focuses on how popular culture works as a practice where ideas and representations are highlighted and made relevant in everyday lives of adults (cf. Jarvis, 2005; Wright and Sandlin, 2009)- Researchers have also addressed the relationship of entertainment and information combined with the positions given to experts concerning childrearing (cf. Connell-Carrick, 2006; Pramling, 2009). In spite of the interest in studies of parenting and family life in the media, there is a lack of detailed analysis on how parenting is represented (Sunderland, 2006).

Governmentality and discursive practices

Modern society and the subject can be discussed in terms of governmentality, which refers to indirect ways of structuring the field of possible action (Foucault, 1988, 1991). Thus, the state is not the only unit governing; subjects govern each other and themselves. Through acts of subjection, we regulate our conduct in accordance with certain expectations mediated through various channels, which shape the norms informing different social practices. As Rose (1998, 1999a, 1999b) claims, the governable subject is constructed in terms of the autonomy of the individual and the importance of making choices. This way of reasoning opens a space for advice and guidance from experts, for example, from human sciences such as psychology and from popular culture such as television shows and self-help material in books and magazines. As Rose puts it: 'Selves unable to operate the imperative of choice are to be restored through therapy to the status of a choosing individual' (1999a, p. 231). Subjects are supposed to be active, work hard and evaluate and compare themselves to others, including images in the media. In short, ideas on how to be a knowledgeable parent depend on expectations about parenting practice, which then shape patterns of preferred/non-preferred actions. This disciplining process is not to be seen as oppressive rather the subject is created and creates itself in relation to norms governing how to act. Governmentality is a way of understanding what rationalities of governance are applied in parenting and why certain positions seem to reoccur while others are excluded.

Several studies have been conducted on governmentality and families. For instance, Popkewitz (2003) states that contemporary parents are supposed to be responsible and autonomous, but also collaborative; 'the successful parent is a pedagogical one' (p. 53). Home is no longer a setting where parents have the goal of preparing their children for school, rather it is a learning space (Rose, 1999b; Popkewitz, 2003). Moqvist (2003) claims that the contemporary child is construed in terms of individuality, respect, equality and competence. Parenting is described as a problematic relationship, and the mode for solving this is talking. Skilled parents are thus portrayed as understanding, reflecting and communicating. Millei and Lee (2007) argue in a similar way that 'the smart parent' is produced as a lifelong learner, responsible and informed. Accordingly, a particular parental role is construed and transformed into good parenting values, and alternative images are ignored.

Furthermore, in studying the idea of schooling, McGowan (2005) discusses flexibility as a normalising strategy prominent in the transformation from a state-run institution into a community-run one. In this way, a legislated move can be identified where parents become actively responsible as community members in the process of schooling the child; they are the ones ensuring the governmental objective of education for all children. Moreover, Baez and Talburt (2008) analyse how the parent, child and school are construed in government documents. They argue that home is, in fact, established as a school, where parental and educational responsibilities are linked to each other. This implies that parents should provide children with appropriate educational activities to reinforce and make school activities more efficient.

In this study, parenting is understood as a discursive practice. According to Foucault '… discursive practices are characterised by the delimitation of a field of objects, the definition of a legitimate perspective for the agent of knowledge, and the fixing of norms for the elaboration of concepts and theories. Thus each discursive practice implies a play of prescriptions that designate exclusions and choices' (1977, p. 199). Everyday interaction creates regularities, displaying particular patterns of meaning, and the meaning of symbols becomes more or less 'fixed', producing normative regulations for thinking, acting and talking. These regularities work as guidelines, making 'the order of things' in specific contexts and settings visible. Furthermore, they become taken-for-granted frames of reference in the sense of social inclusion and exclusion, processes of classifying and justifying what is normal or deviant. Accordingly, the play of prescriptions can be discussed in terms of what is desirable and good versus what is non-preferable. Subjects are evaluated and distributed in terms of these norms and prescriptions.

Discursive practices produce certain positions for subjects to assume, and being part of a discursive practice means speaking as a particular kind of subject. As adults, we participate in several activities and settings every day, like being partner, employee, friend, sister and parent. The identity position one takes and/or is positioned into may be of a relatively stable character, but it may also vary within the activity (Aronsson, 1998; Antaki and Widdicombe, 1998; Goffman, 1981). To make sense of images of parenting in the media and the discursive work that they do, we will use the concept of subject positioning as an analytical tool. This concept describes how people relate to other people, activities and discourses (Bamberg, 1997; Davies and Harré, 1990; Edley and Wetherell, 1997), and it underlines identity as an activity. Being positioned or entering into a subject position means gaining access to conceptual repertoires and ways of seeing and understanding the activities, where the participants are offered resources to deal with what happens (Lagenhove and Harré, 1999). People are not fixed to one position, rather they engage in many activities and relations, and thus enter different subject positions. How to act, or where and when to act, is not something the subject solely does by him/herself, rather '… there are patterns that he finds in his culture and which are proposed, suggested and imposed on him by culture, his society and his social group' (Foucault, 1988, p. 11). The subject's position and the meaning of this position are negotiated by using patterns and meanings from other activities. For instance, what it means to be a father, dentist, game player or student is related to similar patterns across activities and practices. In terms of governmentality, it could be claimed that how to act in these subject positions is proposed, suggested and imposed, as well as adjusted, negotiated and challenged by the subject. In other words, how to act in social life is guided by notions of normalities that circulate in the society (Rose, 1999a), as well as regulations and rules negotiated in the situation at hand (Goffman, 1974).

In this study the research focuses on the disciplining and governmentality of family life as potentially influenced by media practices and expectations. We present a detailed analysis of interactional data, drawing on two media settings, which highlight the fashioning of norms and discipline techniques aimed at parents in the media.

Research strategy and data

We draw on empirical material from two media settings, an American magazine and a Swedish television show. Instead of a comparative approach, we use them as complementary media practices in order to understand connectedness and relationships rather than particularities and discontinuities (see Sparrman and Aarsand, 2009). The first setting is the magazine L.A. Parent (City Edition). This was investigated over the course of one year (July 2008-June 2009), 12 issues in all. L.A. Parent, a monthly magazine that is available in libraries and stores, was chosen because it has a huge audience and is free, appeals to all English speaking/reading parents living in the Los Angeles area regardless of social class, gender, generation or ethnicity, is a magazine that calls itself 'parent', and, finally, was recommended to us as newcomers to the Los Angeles area by friends, colleagues, teachers and librarians. Approximately 50 per cent of its content is advertisements relating to childcare and parenting, products and services like schools, museums, exhibitions, medical care and a calendar of the month. The rest consists of articles, columns and notes that deal with aspects of being parents. The magazines are also available at http://losangeles.parenthood.com/.

The second setting is the Swedish television show A Case for Louise ('Ett fall for Louise') that was broadcast by the national television company during the autumn of 2009 and had 531 000 viewers.[1] This show was chosen because of its focus on what is labelled as problematic parenting and is produced in another national setting that is also familiar to us. The basis of the show is that families with problems meet a prominent family therapist to help resolve their difficulties. Each show consists of a case where a child presents something s/he experiences as problematic in his/her family. The parents watch parts of the interview together with the psychologist who then presents the analysis to the family. In the next step, the expert gives the parents advice and recommendations on how to deal with the problems and become better parents. The show ends with a snapshot of everyday life some time afterwards where signs of change are identified, for instance, how parents spend more time with the family. The expert and the host of the show point out that they take the child's perspective. More information about the show is available at http://svt.se/.

In this study, we explore the media settings in terms of 'communicational landscapes', focusing on identifying patterns, constructions and functions of language (cf. Kress 2003). The analysis of parental representations concentrated on three aspects in the media material:

* activity (which activities are put forward, what is supposed to be done?),

* logic of reasoning (which naming styles, concepts, actors and objects are used?), and

* subject positioning (what positions are made relevant and how?).

We have read twelve magazine issues closely, concentrating on the front page, editor's note, articles/themes (usually one or two for each issue), and recurrent sections where the columnists answer questions from the readers. A content log was made for each issue. The next step was to read the magazines again, this time from the logs with in-depth analysis of particular sections. When it comes to the six television shows, each was watched several times and the dialogues were transcribed. The transcriptions were then read several times, interpreted and analysed according to the above-mentioned three aspects. The transcriptions were translated into English. According to the discursive interest, competing as well as contradictory representations of parenting were noted with a view to finding nuances and variances. However, a pattern of parenting described in terms of involvement and improvement were identified. The following examples were chosen to illustrate this pattern.

Becoming a better parent

In our data, parenting is described as a multifaceted activity where parents are expected to look after their children's health, wellbeing, mental and physical development, school activities, extracurricular activities and vacations. Parents are supposed to have a general overview and control over dangers and needs in their children's lives, and are responsible for helping them succeed. In other words, being a good parent is being involved in the everyday life of your children (see Lareau, 2003). We argue that good parenting is accomplished through ongoing identity work, that is, displayed self-improvement and self-regulation, where the media stimulates and sustains this through correcting practices. According to L.A. Parent, parental involvement is an activity, a task in motion in the sense that demands on parenting change, for instance, as children mature. To enable the parents to evaluate whether they manage to sustain the preferred subject position, the magazine provides articles, tests' and checklists where they can compare their performance to see how successful they are in their own parental practice. In our first example, we will investigate how this is produced through one of these checklists.

Example 1: Improvement

Heading: 'Your parenting to-do list. There are no quick fixes, but you can be a better parent'#

Place and time: L.A. Parent, March 2009, pp 16-17

1. Treat your kids with love and respect.

· 2. Say "no" and mean it.

· 3. Teach your kids to respect others.

· 4. Watch what you say and do.

· 5. Make sure your home is a safe and wonderful place.

· 6. Try, try, try to decrease the yelling.

· 7. Be as consistent, predictable and stable as you can.

· 8. Don't be a helicopter parent.

· 9. Teach your kids to tolerate frustration, control their anger and verbalise their feelings effectively.

· 10. Take care of yourself.

* The headline is accompanied by a picture of a black man holding a black boy in his arms playfully upside down, and beside them a white woman cooking together with a white girl.

This example starts with a heading telling the reader that parenting is constant work and a challenging activity for everybody. Moreover, the reader is informed that there are no simple answers or ways of doing this, there are 'no quick fixes' (headline); however, reading this 'parenting to-do list' will help. When parenting is conceptualised, described and discussed along these lines, it implies that adults are expected to make 'better parenting' a relevant issue in their everyday lives. Parenting is construed as a process where the main task is improvement of the adult's behaviour. No matter how good you are, there is always more that can be done, 'you can be a better parent' (headline). Parenting is hard work and the goal is to practise, reflect, evaluate and adjust one's own parenting. We can see how the advice makes a clear distinction between what could be called parental obligations and parental recommendations.

Parental obligations are: to 'teach' kids to control themselves, tolerate frustration, control their anger and verbalise their feelings' and to teach children ' to respect others' (advice 3 and 9). Taking the responsibility for children developing social competence is a vital part of being the good parent, which is underlined by the word 'teach'. This verb is used as part of a command that is neither negotiable nor questionable. As a concept, 'teach' connects to actors and activities in formal education, thus the importance of the present 'curriculum' is underlined. Hence, the child becomes the learning subject, expected to adjust to the claims being displayed, and the parent becomes the teacher, responsible for finding ways for children to develop the proper skills. Nonetheless, some advice in the list is formulated as recommendations, something to work on, construed in terms of almost unattainable yet important goals. This is done by signalling effort and ambition, 'try, try, try to decrease the yelling' (advice 6) and 'be as consistent, predictable and stable as you can' (advice 7). Yelling is presented as a common problem in families that must be curtailed even though it will not fully end. A parallel can be seen in the seventh piece of advice, where 'consistency', 'predictability' and 'stability' are important skills in parenting that are seen as hard to fulfil. Note, when parents work as hard as they can to reach the ideal, lack of success is not a problem.

Parenting is shaped by making an effort, constantly practising to be better and developing the preferred competence. The image of parenting that is provided can be described in terms of caring, 'treat your kids with love and respect', and 'make sure your home is a safe and wonderful place' (advice 1 and 5) as well as being responsible, establishing everyday rules with prevailing possibilities and restrictions, 'say no and mean it' (advice 2). These items of advice address parents in terms of making them role models, emphasising that adults are responsible for their actions and have influence on their children's lives, watch what you say and do', 'take care of yourself (advice 4 and 10). However, one piece of advice differs from the others -- 'don't be a helicopter parent' (advice 8). This implies overparenting -- having children under constant surveillance, where the children tend to be given no responsibilities. The fact that helicopter parenting is not explained to the readers shows how much the notion is taken for granted. This has to be seen in light of the US debate on parents who oversee their children's everyday lives in every way, which the media presents as very negative. It is the only piece of advice that is formulated in the negative.

While parents are depicted as knowledgeable in relation to their children, they are simultaneously positioned as novices in relation to those with expertise. Thus, parents are portrayed as learning subjects, expected to be attentive and receptive to expert advice. Note that although the advice is framed as guidelines for parenting, only four (advice 1, 3, 8 and 9) of the ten items deal explicitly with such activities. The other six could easily work as examples of how to behave like a decent human being. The distinctions between parenting and other identities are blurred, yet they function as a resource for making adults put effort into improvement.

Crossing the border: the problem of involvement

According to our data, good parenting is about involvement, and, as we have seen, improvement is an important aspect of this; being involved has become 'a regime of truth' (Foucault, 1982). However, just as the involved parent is the frame of reference, the too-involved parent is identified as a problematic subject position. To further explore the construction of the good parent we take a closer look at the boundaries of involvement.

Example 2: Too involved

Heading: 'Are we driving our kids crazy? Even well-intentioned parents can stress out their children'#

Place: L.A. Parent, July 2008, pp 20-22

1. Despite our best intentions -- or maybe even because of them -- some of us parents are

· 2. making our kids crazy. Clinically? No. But sometimes, even when we're trying to do

· 3. good, our efforts can have serious negative effects. Part of the problem could be stress

· 4. from their academic, social, athletic and overscheduled lives. Kids' complex social webs,

· 5. school workload, extracurricular activities and family demands can be daunting. As

· 6. Parents, we contribute to this. /… /Parents who get too involved with their kids' social

· 7. lives -- for instance, micro-managing play dates -- are one source of trouble. 'When

· 8. parents are too involved in their kids' lives, the kids in turn lash out to authority figures at

· 9. school because they are angry and don't have a way to express their need for more

· 10. space' /… /Identifying ourselves as a possible source of our children's stress can be,

· 11. frankly, a little scary. But it's up to parents to think like detectives and look for some of

· 12. the clues (and there always are) that can signal that something is up.

* The headline is accompanied by a picture of a boy holding his hands over his ears, looking straight into the camera with an angry and tired look on his face.

In this example, the too involved parent has negative consequences for the child as indicated in line 3- It can cause trouble, for instance at school, and can lead to such problems for children as stress, bullying or violence against themselves and others. Hence, parents are encouraged to pay attention and be sensitive to changes in their children's behaviour. If children 'lash out to authority figures at school' (lines 8-9), then there is reason to step back as an involved parent. The argument is that children 'don't have a way to express their need for more space' (lines 9-10). Good parents are expected to improve their parental skills and satisfy their children's needs, but one always has to be aware of the danger of trying too hard. At the same time, this construction of the good parent is related to a construction of the child as a social neophyte with no agency and only capable of reacting to the parents' way of acting.

What does it actually mean to be too involved? First, the parent coordinates the child's life and this is problematic if the child is inundated with academic, social and athletic activities (line 4). Furthermore, this phenomenon is described in terms of 'school workload, extracurricular activities and family demands' (line 5). Second, parents can take over their child's life as in example 1. Helicopter parenting, as mentioned, is often described as having the children under constant surveillance, where parents intrude on their child's social life by 'micro-managing play dates' (line 7), in an excessive way.

Although parents are seen as the problem in the 'too much involved drama', it is underlined that their behaviour is unintended, 'even well-intentioned parents can stress out their child' (headline), and 'even when we're trying to do good' (lines 2-3). Parents are depicted as having the best intentions even when it goes wrong. Parents are thus portrayed as people who have to work on their parental competence to recognise when they cross the border of involvement. This is not an easy task. The phrase 'identifying ourselves as a possible source of our children's stress can be, frankly, a little scary' (lines 10-11) puts all parents in a similar position, where they have to acknowledge that they may be the source of their children's problem, and this can be hard for many parents to accept. Moreover, parenting is a difficult and challenging activity. This works as a resource in the production of the story of the too involved parent, which becomes an experience people can identify with and share without feeling guilt or shame. The option given to them is to adjust to the advice that is offered, pay attention to their behaviour and work on improvement, in other words develop suitable skills. Hence, parents are expected to regulate their own parenting and avoid the risk of crossing the border.

Correcting parenting

The good parent is a construction that occurs across media and geographical borders. In the next section, we will examine how the role is portrayed in the Swedish television programme. Compared to L.A. Parent, the show has a slightly different focus, as it highlights problems in parent-child relations. The parents are positioned as unsuccessful from the very beginning. The programme is founded on the idea that the parents are not able to handle the problems themselves; they need support from an expert. Other than the dramaturgy, the expert is relevant in two ways. First, they are crucial for identifying and labelling the problem and, second, they instruct the parents on how to remedy it. In the following section, we will especially focus on how the good parent is fashioned in these correcting practices.

Positioned as adult subjects

Good parents have to demonstrate adulthood and responsibility. In the next example, we will meet an expert psychologist together with the parents Maria and Kent. They are appearing on the show because their son, Sam, has problems stemming from the fact that his parents often fight. Before we enter the excerpt, the viewers have watched an interview with Sam. The psychologist turns to the camera and explains how Sam feels and acts. The expert lets us know that Sam's strategy is to withdraw when the parents are arguing, for instance, looking out the window if the fight starts at the dinner table, or retreating to his room when they shout at each other. According to the expert, this is a problem because Sam may use similar strategies to handle personal problems in the future. Moreover, the expert tells the parents that if they do not deal with their fighting immediately, they will soon be confronting a divorce. However, the main issue is, 'you have to stop fighting in front of your kids'. This is communicated to the parents as a neutral fact and unquestionable truth that has to be dealt with. The expert turns to the parents, signalling that it is time for a dialogue. Maria begins:

Example 3: You are an adult

Place and time: A Case for Louise, Episode 5, 2009 Participants: Maria, Kent, Expert

1 Maria: I'm that kind of person that when I get angry I get really angry, then it

doesn't

· 2 matter if we're at a restaurant or if we're at home /Expert: Uhum/ or wherever

· 3 we are. Now we're mostly at home and I suppose that's why we argue in front of

· 4 our kids too since I can't hold back and wait until the kids have fallen asleep

· 5 or go somewhere else to fight and ehm

· 6 Expert: You're an adult, at least according to your birth certificate /Maria: Mm/you have

· 7 passed the age when you have the right to act on your impulses that you have

· 8 no intention of controlling /Maria: Mm/ and you're a mother.

This example illustrates how Maria starts by producing an account of why the family is facing this situation, claiming that this is the person she is, 'I'm that kind of person that when I get angry I get really angry' (line 1). More specifically, if she becomes upset for some reason, no matter where they are or who they are together with, she will let it happen, 'since I can't hold back and wait' (line 4). According to her, this is how she is by nature, thereby positioning herself as innocent and not to blame. The expert confronts Maria by saying, 'you're an adult, at least according to your birth certificate' (line 6). Drawing upon age, using the words 'adult' in a disciplining manner, the expert positions the parent as somebody who in spite of her biological age has not yet matured. This description makes the parent's way of acting look infantile and irresponsible. The expert follows this line of reasoning when she states in an authoritarian way, 'you have passed the age when you have the right to act on your impulses that you have no intention of controlling' (lines 6-8). Being an adult is described as being in control, which is what distinguishes adults from children. Moreover, Maria is not only an adult, she is also a parent, something the expert states by emphasising 'and you are a mother' (line 8). The subject position of parent is actualised as something that makes it even more important to act as an adult, or to put it another way, acting irresponsibly is acting childishly. Regardless of Maria and Kent's relationship to each other, they are positioned as adults and, first and foremost, they are Sam's parents. By connecting parenthood to adulthood the parents are highlighted as always being the responsible part in relation to their children. In this case, Maria and Kent have to adjust to the obligation to stop arguing in front of their child. It can be argued that when parent-child relations are displayed as problematic, the parents are seen as the source of these problems.

The subject position of parent is demonstrated in all the television show's episodes. Usually, parenting is depicted in situations that resemble counselling where behaviour is criticised, but there are also examples where some actions are described as satisfying. For example, we meet Cornelia (13 years of age) in Episode 4, who talks about feeling invisible in her family after her little brother was diagnosed with cancer. Although the disease has been under control for a while, Cornelia tells the viewers that she is unable to gain her mother's attention, and she feels lonely. She adds that she talks to her stepfather about her feelings. The psychologist describes the stepfather as 'very very very well functioning' and that he acts calmly and with patience in relation to the children'. This emphasises what being a good parent is all about; staying calm and being patient, even if, life is storming around the family. The present fashioning of parenting implies a clear distinction between parent and child, and these borders are not to be crossed or blurred, something that is crucial to being a parent.

Positioned as changeable subjects

As a correcting practice for parenting, they are told that if they do not change their actions will seriously undermine their children later in life: 'if you continue to do X, Y will happen'. The psychologist as expert provides the answers and offers the proper tools to improve parenting skills. Change is necessary and making this change is what the psychologist describes as being a responsible adult. In example 4, we will look closer at the psychologist's comments for Cornelia's parents.

Example 4: Mum has a plan

Place and time: A Case for Louise, Episode 4, 2009 Participants: Broadcaster and Expert

1 Expert: The mother must be the one taking the initiative, it's the mother who is the adult,

· 2 she is the parent now understanding and realising and thereby sharing her

· 3 higher consciousness and telling her daughter 'now we're going to change

· 4 things, mum has a plan, the adults have a plan', and that immediately gives

· 5 hope, the children will adjust at once, if the mother reaches out and touches her

· 6 hand, Cornelia will adjust at once.

In this example the identity categories 'adult' (line 1), mother' (lines 1 and 4) and 'mum' (line 3) are used as resources for influencing the parent. To be a mother and a mum is to be an adult. The mother is displayed as the competent one in contrast to children, as a mother she is 'now understanding and realising and thereby sharing her higher consciousness' (lines 2-3). In terms of being a parent, she has these resources to help her make the necessary changes. She is responsible for initiating changes and improving her parenting, 'the mother must be the one taking the initiative' (line 1). It does not matter what happens in life, as a parent you are responsible for solving problems and adjusting to the new situation to make sure that your children are doing well. In contrast to the adult, being a child means that one has no responsibility for solving family problems. Parents display agency, while children react according to the adult's action. Hence, children are not seen as agents, rather they are described as followers; 'the children will adjust at once' (line 5). The expert confronts Cornelia's mother with demands for immediate changes, and she is expected to work on her parenting. Parents have to learn how to make priorities in life, here the specific suggestion is to change schedules and spend more time together with their children. Change is necessary and if parents change the problem disappears.

Conclusion: identity work and lifelong learning

Good parenting involves continually correcting and improving one's parental practice through self-disciplining activities. The work has to be performed by the parent her/ himself and the responsibility for succeeding is always the parent's. Two subject positions turn out to be important in the production of good parenting: the parent as an adult subject and the parent as a changeable subject.

The media settings can be described in terms of learning practices. When it comes to the family, the children are not the only ones involved in learning processes, the parents are in the same position. They are all confronted with expectations, norms and rules on how to behave and evaluate actions, and how to correct their behaviour for the better. Following the logic of learning, in national and international policies, lifelong learning is still an important topic when it comes to contemporary and future societal challenges. The notion of lifelong learning emphasises two dimensions; people are learners from the cradle to the grave and learning is an activity that takes place inside and outside institutions. Learning activities take place in education, but also at work, during leisure time and in family life. Furthermore, each person is responsible for taking the opportunity for accepting the duty to learn (cf. Edwards, 1997; Biesta, 2004, 2006; Nicoll and Fejes, 2008). Learning is an activity people cannot ignore, rather, the importance of identifying and meeting the obligations of being flexible and willing to change are underlined (Assarsson and Sipos Zackrisson, 2005). Lifelong learning can be seen as a discourse, positioning people as responsible lifelong and lifewide learners in all walks of life. Accordingly, parents become the lifelong learners and through the media the direction for improving their parenting is outlined.

We suggest that parenting can be discussed and conceptualised as a practice of lifelong learning (Usher and Edwards, 2007) and the media take on the form of a 'curriculum' for parenting, where the viewers take part in the conceptualisation, positioning, performance and evaluation. This can be described as governmental-ity at work, illustrating how disciplining activities are managed and negotiated, and also making visible the cultural obligations parents are confronted with. When this performance is conceptualised in terms of learning, the images based on the experts' advice function as guidelines on how to become the good parent. The lifelong, autonomous, flexible, collaborative and problem-solving learner is constantly involved in self-improvement by actively participating in various learning contexts. According to the neoliberal idea, the concept of pedagogicalisation is actualised (Rose, 1999b; Hultqvist et al, 2002; Popkewitz, 2003, 2008). Pedagogy is found to have become a governing technique that is generalised and applied in other settings than formal education. The practice of correctional treatment, seemingly inspired by formal learning contexts, can be recognised in several arenas (see Fejes, 2006). This close-up analysis of parenting from a governmentality point of view points to pedagogicalisation as a two-fold phenomenon. On the one hand, parents are positioned as competent, appearing like skilful teachers in relation to their children; on the other hand, they are depicted as unskilled learners in need of remediation. Interestingly, these aspects should not be interpreted as contradictory, instead they function as two sides of the same coin, fashioning the importance of learning as identity work; there is always more to be done.

In the discursive practice of parenting, one disciplining technique for governing parents' behaviour appears to be to refrain from giving any other option than being involved in children's lives and to work on improvement. Everything else is considered inappropriate and is an issue for correction (cf. Rose, 1999a; Foucault, 1991, 1997). In the present study, the same image of good parenting is produced across geography, culture and media settings, and it remains unchallenged. In a time where expectations of parents are more prescribed than ever, a single representation of good parenting across ethnicity, gender, generation and social class seems problematic. Since informal arenas promote a rather hegemonic image of how to be a good parent, we would emphasise that formal adult education reveals, questions and even challenges such dominant norms. Or, at least, considers what media representations reach adults and perhaps have influence in their everyday life. At the intersection of the discursive practice of parenting and the discursive practice of lifelong learning, claims for change and improvement become the unquestionable 'master story' displayed as the only option for empowerment and the ability to manage everyday life. It is desired, seen as a good thing in itself, and definitely worthwhile because of the connections made to the children and their future (see Usher & Edwards, 2007). Who can say no or oppose working on becoming a better parent?

Note

1 Personal communication with the Swedish television on audience measurement, 2010.

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By LISELOTT ASSARSSON, Norwegian University of Science and Technology and PAL AARSAND, Uppsala University

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