We are in unprecedented times, which we were not prepared to handle. Stress has many different reactions and does not affect everyone the same way. We (overall) too readily accept the "I'm good" response as true indicator of a person's well- being, when in reality, it is a quick check-the-block answer. Recently, the military has had an influx of senior leader deaths due to illness and self-harm. Out of the ones that committed harm to themselves, it calls to question the number of times they gave the "I'm good" response before deciding to act.
A leader's response to stress will teach Soldiers how to handle it. As a command sergeant major (CSM) / sergeant major (SGM), it is of importance to ensure the leaders are taking care of themselves as well as taking care of their Soldiers. Pressures, when homogenized with functional leadership and secure peer connections, often lead to malleable stress retorts, which supplement individual and unit accomplishment (Department of the Army, 2016, p. 49). While behavioral health is a good resource to assist a service member with stress, many overcome it quicker when their team rallies around them and show support instead of treating them like a stain on the organization. The CSM/SGM is the quarterback of the senior enlisted (SEL) team and it is his/her job to make sure the members of the team is sitting out of a play/taking a knee, when they need to do so. It is not against regulation for a CSM/SGM to see/help the human in the uniform, past the rank. Resilient organizations invest in their leaders.
Resilience is applied on and off duty. The Army took it serious enough to implement resilience training into all levels of military education, as well as developing a program for spouses. "A resilient and fit individual is better to leverage intellectual and emotional skills and behaviors that promote enhanced performance and optimize their long-term health" (Department of the Army, 2014, p.10). It is imperative for leaders to remember that grieving is a process and the process is not always pretty. As long as a service member is not violating established rules and regulations or going against good order and discipline, allow them to have the space to heal from a loss, especially if it was a spouse or a child. Part of building resilience is going through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.