Descriptive es

Comments: -

· Work on combining two independent clauses. Avoid comma splices. Instead, use semi-colons and adverbial conjunctions or BOYFANS.

· Great supporting information. Providing an example or two of Indian cuisine with more specific description would strengthen this category.

· There is one extra paragraph, but given the length of the introduction, it is not terrible. I think perhaps adding a clear thesis with an essay map after either the first or second paragraph (not both) would strengthen this area.

· Title present. Try to find one that provokes interest

· You had a very interesting anecdote to bring the reader in! I made a note on the paper that you needed to state the thesis with three subtopics