rev. paper 1

I found this paper very interesting because it was directly related to the topic we have learned in class. I think the writer did a great job explaining the historical background along with the financial aspect. It helped me to have a better understanding of the Athenian’s society. There was some interesting fact that stand out to me in the “Cross border Trading and Athenian Banking” section. It says that Athenian had a trading route with Asia which is surprising because the long distance.

I think the overall paper is well structured and had some really interesting ideas. However, it will be better to include some more opinion or argument just to have some understanding of writer’s point of view. Additionally, although it was very interesting ending with a question, however, some implication and comparison to the modern society might be quite interesting also.

Your definition of banking is a bit broad - as stated it would  also include mutual fund management.  You should also note that the risk and the profit goes to the bank/banker, not the depositor.  I was esp. interested in the 2nd paragraph, p. 3.  But you need to cite it so I can know where that is coming from.  As for what else could be improved:  watch for syntax, word choice - "scared" and "sacred" are very different.   Remember to fully cite your content.