Final Reflection Paper

I am trying to achieve helping my wife get back into the work field when she has been a stay at home mom for over nine years. She works hard and she wants to go back to work but its hard to get into her field of choice even with a degree. I am working to guide her and try to help her network with people that I may know in my jobs. There have not been any great changes to the options. We have had some hurdles with her working as coach I had gotten wrapping up in her working and brining in income that I had forgotten she needs to work around our daughters’ therapy.

2. Why is this important? Does what is on your mind now, impact the importance?

This is a very important factor that I had forgotten about. I am not sure why I would ever forget about this, without our daughters therapy she can not progress, it is imperative that she maintains her therapy. I am a little worried she will not be able to get the hours that she needs, or we will not find someone that is willing to transport the kids so that our daughter can go to therapy. We talked about the concerns of both and right now until she is offered a job, we have decided to not stress over it. The importance of this really is stress, we were both stressing about her getting the hours, she was stressing more about how to work, manage the kids, therapy and the home. As we put these stresses on the back burner it takes the weight off the coaching and relationship because we can only plan so much under not knowing where she would work of the hours that she would need to work.

3. What worked and what did not work? What was the real challenge for you?

The method is working very well, we both agree on a lot of the same issues, and when we do not agree sometimes, we need to take a break and come back to it. Doing this has worked very well, so that we can both collect our thoughts, figure out how and what to say so that there is understanding and companion from both parties. There are many challenges in this, beucase of the all the factors that are involved. A big challenge for us are our daughter’s therapy’s, the kids, her working hours she needs as well as being able to be there if I am not. I am active duty and I do tend to go away often. This may hinder her time in the office and may become a factor. We talked about a nanny and we will be going with that option as it will help our family manage our time better with therapy and work load.

4. If you were to start over, what would you do differently? How could I have helped or guided you?

I would listen more; she has been pointing out that therapy trumps her working. I understand that because we are building up our daughter to overcome the obstacles that she must face every day, without these she may not grow into the Adult that we know she can become. My wife has been applying a few different jobs, even went on a website that offers work from home positions and applied to several them. She is trying to make it work. I feel like guided could have helped, I had started to focus on money and was so wrapped up in my wife working and how much money we could save that I had forgotten a priority that she has and that its important to not only her but all of us.

5. COACH - reflect on the questions and your perspectives focusing on the shared vision of success, is there buy-in? Required changes, be specific, clarify the action and commitment needed from the coachee, and lastly offer appreciation for continuing the process.

As a coach, my wife and I have the same long-term vision. I am retiring in three years; she is going back to work. This gives us a three-year cushion for her to get into a career that she can be stable in. this will give me time when I transition out to take a bit of time and figure out what I want to do. Considering my only work experance is military it is going to be a change for me to transfer over into the civilian sector.

This is our buy in, retirement. We are both invested in this not only for us as a couple but also for our children. They are all young and they will still be growing up and with us for years to come. We must have all these factors worked out with short term and long-term goals. This is something we have both said needs tweaking every now and then, this is life and we are dealing with five of them. The schools where we retire need to be good, job opportunities for my wife and I need to be good, the housing market and so on. The good thing here is that we both know and understand these issues it is something that is open communication and we are on the same page.

This process has been great for both of us. I think there were a lot of things that were left unsaid between us, with her still in college and moving etc. She has always put our kids first before herself and my carrier before herself. She is trying to find herself and see who she is other then mom and wife. She has been going to Obstacle Course races over the weekends that she enjoys, and I think this is building her confidante up about being away from the kids. She is seeing she can do other things without us and enjoy them. We have become closer and more communitive going though this process and I hope that it continues on this path.