Final Reflection Paper

One of the best progress is that we are on the same page, we have a time line set up and we are working towards that goal. Instead of me pushing my wife I am working with her. She understands the importance that I have placed on her with me retiring in three and half years, and I understand the importance of her still being a stay at home mother to our daughter and finishing up school. We were both overlooking some key factors in this coaching method beucase we both had goals in our own head, with this method we have explored other ways, set an expected time line that we can both work with and agree. Coaching her has been great for both of us.

2. What is working? What is not working?

In the beginning I feel like even though I was coaching her, I was trying to influence what I wanted on her and that was the only thing that was important. You need to work I am getting out. That was my mind frame. Though this coaching process I was able to use my knowledge in the working field, my leadership style to hear her, listen to her and understand her perspective in this. Now as are moving forward she took my advice to start to jot things down that she wants out of a job, she has the luxury of time on her side so she can turn down offers if she wants. She explained to me that it is going to be hard to work considering our oldest has therapy twice a week and the hours she needs are most of the time given to senor employees. With this information I have coached her to stay aware of jobs on post here, beucase she would have the option of working from seven in the morning to three in the afternoon and this shift would be perfect for her.

3. COACH - provide your feedback, suggestions or ask what is the real challenge?

The real challenge that I have is over coming my own fear. Even though I am coaching my wife, my biggest challenge is not coaching her but over coming myself and I worry that she will not have or get a job and I am going to have to be stuck in any job that I can find when I retire. She always tells me she will have a job, she does a great job in school and she has updated her resume, she had taken steps that we talked about for networking and she just applied for a part time job online with Amazon today. She does what I suggest, and she seems to like m coaching her, I feel that we have come along way and have crossed many barriers that we both had because of communication with this issue.

4. What did we each do, consciously or not, that led to success or failure (think of the time line that you set, and make sure if you know the answer - LET THEM say it.)

For our time line it is a one to two-year time line. Our children will all be in school full-time next year. At this time for before our time line has been set to really start looking and applying for jobs. We have established that working on post is best for the family, as the hours can be managed with school for the kids, getting on and off the bus and therapy for our daughter. This has led to great success beucase she has now gone form not networking to networking. This is a very important step in getting a job on post beucase they are hard to come by if you do not know someone already in the GS system. We talked for a long time if she should apply for USAA, they are a great company that loves to hire Militray as well as have ad ay care for our youngest daughter. The Bennifts are better, but over all we both deiced our children go to school on post, the GS job can transfer and the hours she needs to work are there.

5. Did we act on everything of which we were aware (ignored clues, intuition)?

I feel a more open to coaching my wife, better now then when we had first started. I can say that I had good intension, but it was my intention. I ignored her intentions and feeling about her working. When we started acting on this and it became open commination instead of you should know and understand with out me having to say, and it became about her and less about me stressing over her working, the level of coaching became better, it became more open and in the end we were able to clearly set up goals, time lines as well as what is expected from a job she wants together as a team.

6. Are their risks involved? If so, how can we avoid them?

The biggest risk we have is her not getting a job. Again, there is a lot of emphases placed on this beucase of our situation, but in retrospect we have the time and we have the expectations that we have set up in this process. So, it is now about trusting the process, she is graduating here in the next two weeks with honors. She is doing everything I have coached her on, she is aware of the risks, and she knows getting a job will avoid the risks, she is on board and we are both doing what is best for our family.

7. What was our role in co-creating these results? (personal tendencies, behaviors, habits, etc.)

We had all kinds of roles, being a married couple, you will always have personal feeling involved. You will want to please your partner and not hurt their feeling by telling then something bad they are doing, or something that you want them to do that they are not doing (as they can feel like a failure) we hashed all this our when I choice her to coach. She is a very logical minded person she needs facts, she needs to see things and she needs to know why that is her biggest thing that I have come to see in coaching her is she has to know why, she needs to know why things happen. So, in this because she needs to know how are we going to plan for summers with the kids, is my entire pay check going toward day care for them? These are viable concern as we are still working on that we area also in agreement that our needs should be met and that even with maybe her paycheck going toward that in the summer, in the further this behavior may be driving her into a higher paying job.