Assingment
Conflict and Communication
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Week 5 -
Interpersonal Conflict @ Work
- Up-dates - Assignment Due Dates
Journal 1-5 Feb 19
Case study on Coquitlam School Board – Due Mon. Feb 26
3-2-1 Reading
Difficult Conversations Ch. 4
- Today – Case Study on small group conflict
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Today’s Class – Interpersonal/ Small Group Conflict
- Why conflict at work is so damaging
- Case Study – Nanaimo Victim Assistance
What would you do?
What’s constructive and destructive about this conflict?
- CMNS Spirals – why are they so important to understand and address
- Paradoxes and conundrums
- Why do we need to understand interpersonal and workplace conflict?
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Monday’s Class
- Discuss the questions from Moodle
Describe the three most important aspects (concepts, issues, factual information, etc.) of the reading;
Identify two aspects of the reading you don’t understand, and make a couple of notes why;
Pose a question to the text’s author.
What does this study tell us about managing conflict?
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Difficult Conversations Ch.4
- Provide an example of a conflict in which you identified a specific source of blame for the problem. With specific reference to the chapter:
Briefly describe what that blame looked like. What problems did blaming the other create?
Shift this understanding to one in which all parties contributed to the negative outcome and describe what this might look like. What benefits might have resulted from this perspective?
What “hard to spot” contributions might you be responsible for? What tool might best help you uncover these?
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What is interpersonal conflict?
When two or more interdependent people:
- Exchange “conflict” messages or behaviour, subtle or overt;
- Seek different goals that they perceive as being blocked;
- Experience emotional frustration, embarrassment or threats;
- Can be addressed by addressing perceptions, emotions, or environment
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The impact of interpersonal conflict
- Costs - emotional, economic, physical health, relationships, career, family well-being, productivity, long term goals
- Benefits - opportunity to reassess relationships, chance to achieve wants, needs, fears and hopes; improve quality of relationships in general; improvement and innovation in work
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The cost of conflict in organizations
- 30-42% of managers' time is spent reaching agreement with others when conflicts occur (Watson, C. and Hoffman, R., "Managers as Negotiators," Leadership Quarterly 7 (1) 1996).
- It is estimated that more than 65% of performance problems result from strained relationships between employees — not from deficits in individual employees' skill or motivation.
- It costs 1.5 times the position salary to replace the employee in it (Drake Beam Morin, 2000).
- It is estimated that sexual harassment claims alone are costing each Fortune 500 company $6.7 million per year, with costs for smaller companies being proportionately burdensome.
- Recent studies find that more than two-thirds of managers spend more than 10% of their time handling workplace conflict and 44% of managers spend more than 20% of their time in conflict-related issues.
- A number of surveys indicate that people in all occupations report the most uncomfortable, stress-producing parts of their jobs are the interpersonal conflicts that they experience on a daily basis between themselves and co-workers or supervisors.
http://www.workdyn.com/tools-ConflictStats.html
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Interactions and Illness
- Under stress, adrenal glands release cortisol, fight or flight hormone
- Good in the right setting; bad in response to chronic stress
- Cardiovascular damage, impaired immune function, diabetes, hypertension
- Stimulates amygdala, prefrontal area compromised (emotional vs. intellectual response)
- Resilience - ability to bounce back
- Change pattern of interpretation & response
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We also know that less than positive relationships in all stages cause other physical problems
-Any source of stress means the body is physically altered
-can’t fight off cold or rhinovirus - controlled for all known factors impacting cold - those in on-going, chronically stressful relationships 2,5 times more likely to get a cold - same range as not enough vitamin C or sleep
-people without close personal relationships are 4.2 times more likely to get a cold
-the worst stress - and most significant impact on health - was experienced by people who were subjected to harsh criticism and lack of control to do anything about it. (could be perceived) - shame has an on-going effect - relived - prejudice
- post traumatic stress disorder - lack of personal control and sense of being personally targeted - rape or physical abuse
Interactions and wellness
- Longer, more satisfying life
- Fewer chronic health problems
- Optimal Cognitive Efficiency
- Better leadership skills - passion
- Address justice issues - less crime
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Idea that peace begins at home - contagion -
Connectedness is the key - Shift from seeing others as “it” to “you” - real people, not social categories or labels -
Restorative justice approaches - community services, conflict on national scale - discrimination
“It” categorized as wickedness, hatred, shame, hypocrisy
Changes to Us - righteousness, intelligence, integrity, humanity and victory
Humanistic values - source of all war and peace
Mind creates categories based on emotional responses - fear and anxiety experienced in the amygdala
- thought through and rationalized (cognitive dissonance) to justify emotional response
- cultural stories, myth, belief backed up by physiological sensations
Explored more fully - curiosity, question assumption, re-assessment - mindfulness (observing and commenting - thinking about thinking) can change a belief
-need to be aware of what’s going on
-need to be forgiving but not accepting of how one thinks, how we cope - but there is a better way to live with each other
Need to think more about our thinking and feeling - more specifically, explore the source of fear, anxiety - test it and reinterpret it to find a better “truth”
-recognize how the brain functioning is contributing to social categories FOBs / ABCs
-recognize our need to be right and have an orderly, predictable world contributes to our belief
-test, evaluate, reassess on an on going basis -
This in itself changes your neural wiring - gives you hard-wired tools to live a better life by finding more constructive understandings of what’s going on around you and
Interacting with others in a more constructive way.
-Doing this type of thinking actually quiets down the amygdala -
Not a reductionist approach - still look at the myriad of ways the brain works - but this is something to consider in the mix
Columbine - shame, disconnection
The Value of Case Studies
Case studies help us develop the following skills:
- identifying and recognizing problems
- understanding and interpreting data
- understanding and recognizing assumptions and inferences, as opposed to concrete facts
- thinking analytically and critically
- understanding and assessing interpersonal relationships
- exercising and making judgments
- communicating ideas and opinions
- making and defending decisions.
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Nanaimo Victim Assistance
- Imagine yourself as a staff member in this organization.
How would you react as this conflict unfolded?
What is it about this particular conflict that makes it seem difficult to face, let alone solve?
What do you suggest to address the problem?
Have a student read part 1
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Components of conflict
- The behavioral component – actions or absence of action that creates ill feelings;
- The cognitive component - a disagreement between the parties that illustrates the differences between the interests and objectives of the conflicting parties;
- The affective component relates to the negative emotional states of the conflicting parties.
Similar to the three conversations from DC
- The What Happened? - Is it about what is true or what is important? Move away from truth assumptions frees us to explore perceptions and asking questions about how the parties made sense of the situation; move away from blame and intention
- Feeling – all about feelings; ignore them and you get the plot but miss the point
- Identity conversations – what does this say about me? What self doubts does this harbor? Keeping your balance – anxiety here.
What does DC suggest is the most important part?
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Outcomes?
- What are the possible outcomes in managing this conflict?
Can you identify any benefits to this conflict?
Can you identify any negative outcomes to this conflict?
Positives
Benefits – better outcomes, stronger practices, stronger start for new employees
Saving face, saving job, apology, acknowledgement of problem, or value, agreement validation, cooperation, authority, time to recover
Less work, sense that organization staff are good at their job, pride in work, understanding of how others cope
Negatives
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Types of conflict
- Constructive or Productive Conflict
Focus on substantive, solvable problems
Explores range of outcomes through various processes
Fosters techniques for identifying solutions
Oriented toward resolutions that work for all parties
Characterized by flexibility, belief that positive outcomes and/or understanding can be achieved
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Types of conflict
- Destructive or Nonproductive Conflict
Expression of aggression in which the sole end is to defeat or hurt the other party
May use aggression, force, coercion
Conflict escalation, issues avoided,
Oriented to win/ lose;
Attitudes and behaviours characterized by inflexibility
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Managing constructive conflict
- What factors suggest this conflict could develop in a constructive way?
- What factors suggest this conflict could develop in a destructive way?
- What might turn this conflict into a destructive one?
- What might be the outcome of a vote to resolve the problem?
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Communication Spirals
- A child disobeys the parent, the parent acts more punitively and harshly, and the child becomes even more unruly;
- An employee may be quiet and not forthcoming to the supervisor, the supervisor puts pressure on them to talk, and they become more silent;
- A parent and adult child embark on a road trip. As the trip draws to a close, both notice how close they feel to one another and how easy their communication has become.
Def’n when the actions of each person in a relationship increasingly magnify those of the other
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Communication Spirals – Def’n
- When the actions of each person in a relationship increasingly magnify those of the other;
- Behaviours tends to feed on themselves; reinforcing the status quo;
Misunderstanding and dissatisfaction creates more misunderstanding and dissatisfaction
- Can be positive or negative
Def’n
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Characteristics of Communication Spirals
- Relational synergy builds upon itself in a continuously accelerating manner
- Each person’s actions contribute to the overall dynamic, whether it is talking, retreating, engaging, reinvesting or disinvesting in the relationship it directly impacts the other and vise-versa
- Symmetrical – parties keep doing the same thing
E.g. yelling at each other
- Complementary – one party does more of the same, the other party does more of the opposite
E.g. one yells; one retreats in silence
Def’n
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Characteristics of Communication Spirals
- Generative Spirals – promotes positive feelings about the relationship and more closeness; +’s build on themselves
E.g. Road trip, reinforcing good behaviour
- Degenerative Spirals – induce negative feelings about relationships and more distance
E.g. Silent treatment and neediness; physical withdrawl
- Spirals can be changed, their pace quickened or slowed, and the direction reversed by the participants’ actions
- As a result, relationships expand, wither, or repeat patterns
Can you think of examples from your life?
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Characteristics of Communication Spirals
What might this look like at Nanaimo Victim Assistance?
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Shifting the degenerative spiral
- Do the opposite of what you’ve been doing, or what feels natural
- Use a third party
- Reaffirm relational goals
- Meta-communication
- Spend time together
- Change the external situation
How might this look at Nanaimo Victim Assistance
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Paradoxes and conundrums
We want contradictory things in relationships; freedom and closeness, openness and privacy; connection and control;
Both insider and outsider views of relationships are fraught with errors;
Work too hard at relationships and they “suffocate”; not hard enough and they “wither”
Expectations that close relationships will make us happy can create much unhappiness
The greatest pleasure and pain comes from those to whom we are the closest
From “Communication Spirals, paradoxes and conundrums” by William W. Wilmot from Relational Communication, 4th Edition.
- Dialectics (Baxter) – can’t escape them; ability to negotiate them determines the success of the relationship
- We make errors – fundamental attribution error – tend to be easy on ourselves in explanations and tough on others (external and internal attributions)
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Paradoxes and conundrums
We see our “self” as concrete and yet relationships are no less “real “ than the self is – created through interactions with each other
The greatest individual growth, and the greatest derailment of individual growth, comes from the hurt and disappointment of relationships that go wrong
Improving relationships can be internal (personal change) or external (communication)
General conclusions about gender, culture and relationships may not apply to your relationship
Learning about the relationship occurs before, during and after the relationship is established.
From “Communication Spirals, paradoxes and conundrums” by William W. Wilmot from Relational Communication, 4th Edition.
- Dialectics (Baxter) – can’t escape them; ability to negotiate them determines the success of the relationship
- We make errors – fundamental attribution error – tend to be easy on ourselves in explanations and tough on others (external and internal attributions)
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Back to Nanaimo Victim Assistance…
- What would you recommend this group do to promote a constructive outcome to their conflict?
How do we keep it constructive?
What outcomes might you suggest they strive toward?
What potentially destructive actions should they avoid?
How do we shift the spiral from degenerative to generative?
What paradoxes in work relationships do we want to be aware of?
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Back to Nanaimo Victim Assistance…
- What would you recommend this group do to promote a constructive outcome to their conflict?
How do we keep it constructive?
What outcomes might you suggest they strive toward?
What potentially destructive actions should they avoid?
How do we shift the spiral from degenerative to generative?
What paradoxes in work relationships do we want to be aware of?
Read Part II
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Sociopsychological Approaches
- Stress, frustration, and anxiety
- Loss of sleep
- Strained relationships
- Presenteeism
- Employee turnover
- Loss of productivity
- Increased client complaints
- Absenteeism
- Sabotage
- Injury and accidents
- Disability claims
- Sick leave
Look at Sage for more on this….
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Addressing self interest and cognitive dissonance
Cognitive Reappraisal
- An emotional regulation strategy that involves changing how we react to an emotional response by reinterpreting the meaning of the emotional response.
- This process involves two parts:
a) recognition of one’s negative response, and
b) reinterpretation of the situation to either reduce the severity of the negative response, or exchange the negative attitude for a more positive attitude.
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Cognitive Dissonance in the Workplace
- Eg. From “Mistakes were made..”
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Sociocultural Theories
Symbolic Interaction - Mind, self and society
- How we define ourselves and our world through interactions with others
- Symbolic Internationalism
- Identity management - how we wish others to see us
- Face management - how we maintain our positive self image in the face of a threat or conflict
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Symbolic Interaction Theory asserts that human individuals develop their personalities through interaction with others, by exchanging meaningful symbols with each other for the purpose of defining themselves.
- George Mead/ Irving Goffman - parts of a social act or drama where the meaning we make for ourselves comes from these three parts constantly interacting.
Eg. How to act at Earls.
Mind - process of achieving what we want - pleasure, commonality, novelty. Continually interacting between the self and others. Where symbols come from
Self - Who we see ourselves in the eyes of others (I & Me)? Dress up or not?
Society - Broader priorities/ values part of culture (ind. vs. group orientation) captured in language, symbols and behaviour. Our collective behaviours. How we understand what’s going on…Not a rugby match, not McDonalds but also what we eat, how we are served, power dynamics, setting. That we gather together, in a certain way with a certain set of assumption that are perpetuated by symbols and social objects.
Implications for conflict
How does SI explain where many conflicts come from?
-defining what conflict is; what it looks like
-how we define those we are in conflict with
-defining how we deal with conflict - rituals and symbols – misunderstanding and assumptions
-need to define ourselves in contrast to the “other” how we define us and them
Eg. Politics, ideological differences, competition for resources, human rights, ethnicity, sexuality and gender issues
Face Management - preventative/restorative/power distance/ ind vs. collective
Identity management at work
- Eg.
Include reference to symbolic interaction theory and symbols
-status, individuality, group memebership and affiliation
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Sociocultural Theories… cont’d
- Deborah Tannen’s Argument Culture
Agonism - A war-like stance; leads to the assumption that strong opposites and extreme positions lead to the truth.
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Another example of how mind, self and society work together
That is what is doubly destructive about the argument culture: it makes it more difficult to solve the problems facing our society, and it is corrosive to the human spirit. By creating an atmosphere of animosity, it makes individuals more likely to turn on each other, so that everyone feels more vulnerable and more isolated. And that is why the argument culture is destructive to the common good.
Agonism - a war like stance - Underlies the assumption that opposites lead to the truth - extreme positions on something. The best way to settle disputes is litigation that pits one party against the other, with a winner-take-all result; the best way to frame an article is an attack; and the best way to show you are really thinking is to criticize.
The author’s example is Holocaust denyers and how the media often feel they have to cover both sides. But are there really two sides to this? Is it more probable that promoting a side that is extreme and offensive and has no basis in reality is simply encouraging a level of conflict that isn’t in any way constructive in it’s outcome?
Critical/Cultural Theory
Communication is one source of power, oppression , domination and resistance
- Concerned with the “consumption” of culture, products and ideas and the meaning taken from it;
- Intersection of class, race and gender
- Representation - how things appear to be in the “real world”; not a mirror but a construction of culture, meaning and knowledge.
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Culture expressses social relations of class power (gender, income, race)
Culture naturalizes the social order as inevitable
Culture obscures the underlying relations of exploitation
Ideological - creates maps of meanings; constructed ways we understand the world taken as universal truths (private school as meritocracy)
Critical/Cultural Theory…cont’d
- “Race” & Ethnicity- belief in “lines of descent” or “types of people” (Social Darwinism)
- Culture - a concept based on shared norms, values, beliefs, cultural practices but often used to talk about the “other”;
What does “white” mean to you?
-write a few of these meanings down and we’ll compare.
-does the ethnicity of a person play a part in how the idea of “white” is understood by them?
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Social Darwinism
- biological or physical characteristics that are linked to intelligence or capabilities used to consciously or unconsciously rank groups
or races in a heirarchy of social or material priority colonialism, First Nations).
- Accomplished through symbols
- results in different access to education, labour, housing, media,
- Ethnicity
- defined by specific historical, social, political contexts
- encourages a sense of us and them through how we speak about each other;
- Often use to contrast what we are not (Serbian- Croation/ Black White)
- - also creates a sense of belonging (book, kinship; homeland but more often used to describe the “other” who we are not.
Critical/Cultural Theory…cont’d
- “Race” & Ethnicity- belief in “lines of descent” or “types of people” (Social Darwinism)
- Culture - a concept based on shared norms, values, beliefs, cultural practices but often used to talk about the “other”;
What does “white” mean to you?
-write a few of these meanings down and we’ll compare.
-does the ethnicity of a person play a part in how the idea of “white” is understood by them?
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Social Darwinism
- biological or physical characteristics that are linked to intelligence or capabilities used to consciously or unconsciously rank groups
or races in a heirarchy of social or material priority colonialism, First Nations).
- Accomplished through symbols
- results in different access to education, labour, housing, media,
- Ethnicity
- defined by specific historical, social, political contexts
- encourages a sense of us and them through how we speak about each other;
- Often use to contrast what we are not (Serbian- Croation/ Black White)
- - also creates a sense of belonging (book, kinship; homeland but more often used to describe the “other” who we are not.
Critical/Cultural Theory…cont’d
- “Race” & Ethnicity- belief in “lines of descent” or “types of people” (Social Darwinism)
- Culture - a concept based on shared norms, values, beliefs, cultural practices but often used to talk about the “other”;
What does “white” mean to you?
-write a few of these meanings down and we’ll compare.
-does the ethnicity of a person play a part in how the idea of “white” is understood by them?
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Social Darwinism
- biological or physical characteristics that are linked to intelligence or capabilities used to consciously or unconsciously rank groups
or races in a heirarchy of social or material priority colonialism, First Nations).
- Accomplished through symbols
- results in different access to education, labour, housing, media,
- Ethnicity
- defined by specific historical, social, political contexts
- encourages a sense of us and them through how we speak about each other;
- Often use to contrast what we are not (Serbian- Croation/ Black White)
- - also creates a sense of belonging (book, kinship; homeland but more often used to describe the “other” who we are not.
Critical/Cultural Theory…cont’d
National Identity - a political concept referring to administrative apparatus deemed to have sovereignty over specific space or territory; also involves symbols and discourse (flags, idioms)
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- What does this say about the relationship between Isreal and Palestine?
- What might the more general message about the relationships between nation states?
- Example of map (symbol) as a source of conflict as it defines national identity. Not popular with Jewish people;
Illustrating the loss of Palestinian homeland; messages are highly symbolic
Us - them/ equity/ power/ alerting people to something taken for granted; suggesting aggression;
Summary - Critical/ Cultural Theory captures how symbols such as ethnicity and race are made real by how they are used to define
groups and the “taken for granted” priviledge they either enjoy or are denied.
Legal/ Political/ Diplomatic Approaches to Conflict
Reconciliation Commissions
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“How can we negotiate when they have killed our children, raped our women and devastated our villages?
Reconciliation Commissions - human rights/ legal/ psychological trauma/ sociological/ cultural
- restoring broken relationships and learning to lie non-violently with radical differences
- Long term, address structural injustices, recognition of and empowerment of minorities
- binds groups together; truth-telling and healing amongst former adversaries; addresses atrocities and trauma
- Psychological damage - addressed through public justice - dealing with the past publicily and collectively vs. vengence vs. forgive and forget
- -Reconciliation Canada events http://reconciliationcanada.ca/events/
- Sept 16-22
- Purpose
- http://reconciliationcanada.ca/welcome/vision-purpose-values/
Socio-psychological Studies on Interpersonal Conflict
- Discuss the questions from Moodle
Describe the three most important aspects (concepts, issues, factual information, etc.) of the reading;
Identify two aspects of the reading you don’t understand, and make a couple of notes why
Pose a question to the text’s author.
What does this study tell us about managing conflict?
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What does this type of research offer conflict management?
- Patterns in behaviours and outcome that may predict conflict or help resolve it;
- Levels of awareness and skills in managing conflict;
- Categories for future study;
- Gaps in research; what to study in the future;
- How kids deal with conflict; who needs what kind of help? At what ages and stages? How can we help?
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What does this type of research offer conflict management? (cont’d)
- What is the role of context vs. personality traits?
- Are there traits that are useful in identifying how people deal with conflict? Or are there skills that can be taught?
- If we can predict people’s response to conflict, should we? (job skills, picking a spouse)
- How does growing up in a particular context impact our conflict management competence (ie Gen Y and locus of control)
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What does this type of research offer conflict management? (cont’d)
- Do patterns and impacts of exposure to conflict suggest we support people in greatest need of conflict skills? (nasty fighters; nasty siblings)
- Does understanding our family patterns and practices help facilitate conflict management? (Bowen Family Systems)
- What are the health impacts of conflict and the stress it creates? What are the implications for treating health issues for the medical profession?
- What does this suggest our funding priorities should be for medical/ social services?
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