LPP2
183
Parenting
The Middle-Childhood Years
CHAPTER 8
Middle childhood, the developmental period beginning at age 5 or 6 andcontinuing through age 12, is in some ways similar to the preschoolperiod, as parents continue to socialize children in the same domains. According to parents of 5th graders, the key socialization issues they deal with are self-care/independence, household rules, manners/politeness, prosocial behavior, and curtailing aggression (Power & Shanks, 1989). Sounds a lot like the toddler years!
Parents and Within-Family Interactions
Birth Order and Siblings Fathers’ Involvement and Influence Discipline and Problem Behavior Children’s Behavior Problems Marital Conflict Marital Dissolution and Its Aftermath
Parents and External Influences
Peers School Electronic Media
Chapter Preview: True or False?
• Later-born children are rebellious.
• Ten percent of middle-school children have a diagnosable disorder.
• Parents who spend more time helping their children with homework have children with better grades.
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Still, many parents find that child rearing gets easier during the middle-childhood period. Less time is needed for basic child care, such as feeding and cleaning. More importantly, with children’s increasing maturation, cognitive abilities, and abilities to self-regulate, this time period is characterized by an increase in the cooperative parent-child relationship.
However, this 6 or 7-year period is also characterized by considerable change in the child’s physical, cognitive, social, and emotional development. The number of potential influences on the child also expands dramatically with the advent of school attendance, the appeal of peers, and the enticing world outside of the home. These changes require multiple adjustments and alterations in child-rearing prac- tices. There might also be major changes in the family. One common family change during this age period is the birth of another child.
Parents and Within-Family Interactions
Birth Order and Siblings
The study of siblings and birth-order effects began in 1874 with Sir Francis Galton’s (1822–1911) finding that many of the eminent English scientists were firstborns. Since that time, a considerable amount of research attention has been devoted to looking at birth order, siblings, and twins—in part by behavioral geneti- cists to better investigate the nature-nurture controversy, a phrase used by Galton (see Illustration 8.1). As he recognized, “The interaction of nature and circum- stance [nurture] is very close, and it is impossible to separate them with precision” (1883/1911, p. 131).
The most commonly investigated birth-order question is whether it is related to intelligence. Some researchers, such as Robert Zajonc, were convinced that family dynamics associated with birth order could account for differences in intelligence, and there have been more than 1,000 studies examining the relations of birth order to intelligence and academic achievement (Sulloway, 1996). The topic continues to generate attention and controversy. But if there is a birth-order association with intelligence, it is meager at best (Rodgers, Cleveland, van den Oord, & Rowe, 2000).
An alternative theory designed to account for birth-order effects is the Resource Dilution Model, where the family is viewed as a conduit that dispenses resources to the children and in turn affects their academic achievement and cognitive develop- ment. Thus, the amount of resources available to a child depends on the family income, the number of children, and their spacing. Although this theory has fared better than Zajonc’s Confluence Theory (based on the idea that intelligence becomes diluted with more children in the family) in empirical tests, it has also been critiqued on various grounds, including the methodology used to test the theory (Steelman, Powell, Werum, & Carter, 2002).
A different family dynamic as a consequence of birth order can be found in Frank Sulloway’s book Born to Rebel (1996). Taking an evolutionary theoretical approach, Sulloway argued that because of competitive tendencies, later-borns are more likely than firstborns to be reformers or creative thinkers who reject the
184 PART II • PARENTING AND DEVELOPMENT
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status quo. To support his argument, Sulloway identified numerous revolutionary thinkers and activists throughout history, analyzing their birth order and family dynamics, including their parent-child relationships. A discussion of his thesis can be found in Box 8.1.
The bottom line is that the birth-order research has failed to come up with robust effects based simply on the order that a child was born into a family. There are far too many variables that influence family interactions and how children develop. The spacing between births, the gender of the children, the children’s genotype and temperament, the total number of children in the family, and demo- graphic factors like family income and education are each an important influence on family dynamics.
On the other hand, it is now well known that parents react differently to differ- ences in their children (child effects). One of those differences is birth order. Firstborn children are introduced into an environment that is different from that of second-born children. Parents have been observed to be more responsive, stim- ulating, and affectionate to their firstborns than to laterborn children (Belsky, Gilstrap, & Rovine, 1984). Several other observational studies have also found birth-order effects on parental behavior (e.g., Lewis & Kreitzberg, 1979).
Chapter 8 • Parenting: The Middle-Childhood Years 185
Illustration 8.1 Whether, and if so, how birth order influences behavior continues to be debated and investigated.
Source: © 2008 The New Yorker Collection from cartoonbank.com. All rights reserved.
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A more potent influence, though, on parenting of siblings is child temperament (Furman & Lanthier, 2002). Almost as soon as the second child is born, parents are known to remark about the differences between their children’s temperaments (Plomin & Daniels, 1987). These parental opinions may reflect a combination of objective differences and subjective perceptions. Indeed, there is the tendency of parents to think about siblings as different or contrasting (Schachter, 1985). Both parents (as well as siblings) seek to promote differences between siblings in order to help the children develop their own areas of accomplishment and self-esteem. In turn, parents act differently toward their children based on these real or perceived differences. Although child characteristics can be a strong influence on parental behavior in discipline, these effects do not have an equally uniform influence on all parenting behavior. In areas where a parent holds strong values, beliefs, or goals, child effects are less influential (Holden & Miller, 1999).
A common occurrence that follows the birth of a second child is conflict between siblings. Known as sibling rivalry, this conflict poses a common problem for parents. Although a sibling might enjoy teasing or picking on a brother or sister, particularly if the child who is teasing is the older one, most parents find the
186 PART II • PARENTING AND DEVELOPMENT
Is Birth Order Linked to Rebelliousness?
In Born to Rebel (1996), Frank Sulloway developed a unique explanation for why some children become revolutionary thinkers. He took the perspectives of role theory and evolutionary psychology in an effort to understand how the family structure can influence individuals’ thinking. His thesis was that birth order, in conjunction with certain other family dynamics, strongly influences the intellec- tual rebelliousness of the individual. The essence of his thesis is that firstborn children, as the eldest, identify with their parents and authority and thus enjoy their relative power and superiority over their siblings. Therefore, they seek to maintain the status quo. In contrast, later-born children are more likely to gen- erate or support revolutionary ideas. Prime exemplars include Nicolaus Copernicus (1473–1543), who was the youngest of four children and Charles Darwin (1809–1882), the fifth of six children. However, it is not just birth order. Sulloway identified more than 12 variables that appear to promote or inhibit the revolutionary tendency, including gender of the child and the spacing of (dura- tion of time between) siblings. Parents also can influence the dynamics by how much conflict they have with their children.
Sulloway investigated the lives of more than 6,500 people and made a case that rebellious individuals or creative thinkers, such as Vladimir Lenin (a third-born) and Martin Luther King, Jr. (a second born), are more likely to be later-born than firstborn. However, as Sulloway acknowledged, not all revolutionary thinkers were later-borns (Galileo, Martin Luther, and Einstein are prominent exceptions). He accounts for those apparent anomalies by other variables. Sulloway’s thesis has been challenged (e.g., Townsend, 2000) but still, for our purposes, illustrates a provocative Role Theory approach to understanding development.
BOX 8.1
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interactions to be tiresome and noxious. And the conflict can be dangerous when it crosses over into sibling abuse (see Chapter 12).
There are several competing explanations as to why siblings engage in conflict. From an evolutionary perspective, siblings compete over scarce resources—parental attention, love, and material goods (e.g., Bjorklund & Pelligrini, 2002). By being stronger, smarter, or more talented than the sibling, the child should then receive more parental resources, accord- ing to this theory. In contrast, a social interac- tion perspective would pinpoint the cause of the conflict as young children living in close proximity but lacking the maturity or social skills to get along. A third explanation is that much of the conflict is generated by a child’s reaction to perceived differential parental treatment, something children regard as unjust and worthy of retaliation against the favored child (Brody, 1998; see Illustration 8.2).
Much of the research on sibling rivalry has focused on conflict between toddlers and preschoolers. One study that examined parent- ing and sibling conflict in middle childhood investigated parents’ beliefs and behaviors (Perozynski & Kramer, 1999). Parents were interviewed about what they thought were the most effective ways to intervene. Common intervention techniques included parental control strategies (tell them to stop, warn they would be punished), child-centered strategies (help the children use words to express their feelings), and passive nonintervention (ignore the conflict; let the children work it out). Both mothers and fathers believed that the parental control and child-centered strategies were most effective. However, when home audio recordings were analyzed, passive nonintervention techniques were used most commonly.
Sibling rivalry can be exacerbated when children detect differential treatment. Indeed, children carefully monitor their parents’ behavior to detect anything unfair or inequitable. If one child believes he or she is treated unfairly because a sibling is favored, then that affects the child’s adjustment (McHale, Updegraff, Jackson- Newson,Tucker, & Crouter, 2000). By middle childhood, children are well aware of differential treatment but often recognize the differences as justifiable, realizing a parent must take into account considerations such as age differences, personal attributes, and individual needs (Kowal, Krull, & Kramer, 2006). Children’s percep- tions of the fairness of the differential parental treatment makes a difference:
Chapter 8 • Parenting: The Middle-Childhood Years 187
Illustration 8.2 A proud 4-year-old girl holds her infant brother.
Source: Photograph by G. W. Holden.
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Children who view it as fair have higher self-esteem and lower levels of problems than do other children (Kowal, Kramer, Krull, & Crick, 2002).
Although sibling discord is unpleasant for parents and children, in most families, it wanes over time. Sibling conflicts are also recognized to be develop- mentally important in terms of educating children about such things as coopera- tion, negotiation, modeling, teaching, and empathy (Brody, Kim, Murry, & Brown, 2003). By the time both siblings reach middle childhood, their relationships typi- cally become more positive, egalitarian, supportive, and companionable (Brody, 1998). However, the quality of their relationship also depends on such variables as the siblings’ genders and age differences.
When sibling age differences are measured in minutes rather than years, it indicates the presence of twins. Two siblings born at about the same time occurs in approximately 3.2% of births in the United States (Martin, Hamilton, Sutton, Ventura, Menacker et al., 2006), though this rate is increasing due to the use of fertility drugs and in vitro fertilization. Raising twins presents additional chal- lenges not faced by parents of singletons. Although twins generally engage in less sibling conflict than do non-twin siblings, parents of twins do not have it easy. Imagine every child-rearing task times two! Not surprisingly, in a study of Australian mothers of twins, most of the women reported they were exhausted and had no time for themselves. About one third of the mothers revealed they were depressed (Segal, 1999).
As indicated by the research on parenting siblings, parents of twins modify their behavior to suit each child’s temperament, while trying to be fair (Lytton & Gallagher, 2002). Whether they like it or not, when there are twins in the family, fathers are more involved in the child care, compared with fathers of singletons (Segal, 1999).
Fathers’ Involvement and Influence
Do fathers have a unique role in a child’s development, or is their primary func- tion to support mothers? The Greek philosopher Aristotle once pondered those questions, and an increasingly large body of evidence is now available from researchers to provide answers. The state of knowledge about fathers has expanded dramatically from those early investigations that focused on the effects of a father’s absence (see Lamb, 2004). That early work addressed children’s welfare when fathers were away due to work, war, or divorce. The conclusion from that work was that the presence or absence of fathers did not have uniform effects on children.
Since the 1980s, a basic research question is what is the quantity and nature of fathers’ interactions with their children? Using daily diaries, surveys, and micro- analytic observations, researchers have found largely consistent results. Most fathers engage in far fewer caregiving tasks and spend much less time with children than do mothers. Based on results from a study where parents kept daily diaries of their activities, researchers learned that mothers spend twice as much time doing housework and child care as fathers do (Bianchi, Robinson, & Milkie, 2006). When parents were simply asked to report on how much time they spend in child care, mothers of school-age children reported an average of 3.84 hours of direct contact
188 PART II • PARENTING AND DEVELOPMENT
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with their children on a weekday and 7.25 hours on the weekend. Fathers reported 3.1 hours on a weekday and 5.72 hours on a weekend (Renk et al., 2003).
Given the marked differences in paternal and maternal involvement with their children, several investigators have taken a Parental Traits approach to classifying different types of fathers. Russell and Radojevic (1992) identified five types:
• Uninterested and unavailable • Traditional • Assistant parent • Co-parent • Primary-care parent
The limitation with that classification scheme is that it fails to capture the mul- tidimensional nature of paternal involvement. Involvement consists of more than a measure of direct contact. It matters how often and in what ways the father inter- acts with the child, his availability, and his role in child-care decisions and respon- sibilities (Cabrera et al., 2000). Other roles fathers play include providing financial support and supporting the mother—something now investigated under the label of co-parenting.
Does paternal involvement make a difference for children? The evidence indicates it does. For example, in a study of 855 6-year-old children at risk for abuse or neglect, simply the presence of a father figure was associated with better cognitive performance and a feeling of self-competence in children (Dubowitz, Black, Cox, & Kerr, 2001). The more support experienced from a father or father figure, the more the children felt competent and the less they felt depressed. That finding replicated the results from many other studies that demonstrate the positive effects of father involvement. Involved and supportive fathers have children who are more successful and have fewer problems than the children of less-involved fathers (Lamb & Tamis-LeMonda, 2004).
How do fathers interact with their children, and what is the quality of that rela- tionship? A common finding is that fathers tend to play more with their children, while mothers are more likely to provide care. For example, in a multi-method study of parents with children ages 6 or 7, fathers played more with their children than did their mothers (Russell & Russell, 1989). Mothers spent more time reading to their children, helping them with schoolwork or crafts, and caregiving (dealing with bedtime, clothing, health needs, and daily school needs). No differences were found between parents in levels of responsiveness or negativity.
Is the paternal relationship important for child development? Very much so, it seems. Increasing evidence from around the world shows that if a child feels loved and supported by the father—regardless of the child’s relationship with the mother—that child will function better and have fewer problems. In contrast, it is often the case that feeling unloved or rejected by a father is associated with a number of child problems (Khaleque & Rohner, 2002).
From a young age, children begin to differentiate between their parents. Box 8.2 lists the categories of adjectives that children in elementary school used when nom- inating their fathers and mothers for a parenting award. Notice that for fathers, the most commonly used adjective was love.
Chapter 8 • Parenting: The Middle-Childhood Years 189
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Although mothers and father treat their sons and daughters similarly, as was dis- cussed in the last chapter, there is evidence that the gender of the child does inter- act with the gender of the parent. In particular, fathers spend more time and are more involved with their sons than their daughters, especially when the children are school-aged (Raley & Bianchi, 2006). Child effects can account for some of this dif- ference: Boys tend to seek out their fathers and to engage in activities their fathers enjoy. However, evidence of unmarried fathers’ partiality for their sons has been found in the Fragile Families study, where the fathers are more likely to have main- tained contact with their sons than their daughters one year after childbirth (Lundberg, McLanahan, & Rose, 2005, cited in Raley & Bianchi, 2006).
Paternal roles have changed dramatically over the past 50 years, as have notions of what makes an ideal father. Today, a good father is generally defined as someone who is involved with his children and an equal partner in the parenting tasks with his wife. This view reflects a major change over the past 50 years or so, when the tra- ditional father’s key roles consisted of being the financial provider and household disciplinarian. As will be discussed next, disciplining middle-school-aged children is a role not limited to fathers or mothers.
Discipline and Problem Behavior
Parents’ disciplinary practices undergo various modifications during the middle- school years. One illustration comes from the dramatic decrease in the percentage
190 PART II • PARENTING AND DEVELOPMENT
“Dad Loves Me”: How Children Describe Their Parents
Researchers conducted a content analysis of more than 3,000 essays by elementary-school children who nominated their mother or father for the Parent of the Year award. Here are the top six descriptors used to nominate their mothers and fathers:
Source: Milkie, Simon, & Powell, 1997.
BOX 8.2
Mothers Fathers
Nice to me Loves me
Cooks for me Takes me places
Helps with my homework Plays with me
The best Makes time for me
Buys me things Supports me by work
Cares for me when I’m sick Does sports with me
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of parents who continue to spank their children. Before middle childhood starts, as many as 90% of parents report that they sometimes spank their children. However, by the end of that period, only about 30% of parents are using the technique (Straus & Stewart, 1999). Other disciplinary practices have long lost their useful- ness by middle childhood. Distraction, for instance, is ineffective, given that children’s attention span and ability to sustain efforts are considerably longer. Time-outs are no longer effective for punishment, either. Instead, parents are more apt to use withdrawal of privileges, appealing to sense of humor, reminders of personal responsibility, and psychological-control techniques (Collins, Madsen, & Susman-Stillman, 2002).
In general, the nature of disciplinary practices shifts during this time from parental regulation to mutual co-regulation and then to self-regulation by the child. This shift represents a power transfer, as parents gradually allow the child more autonomy. That is not to say parents relinquish their supervisory control, but effec- tive parents must modify how they manage their children during this age period.
As this shift suggests, effective parenting at later ages is not simply a matter of how well parents punish. Rather, it is a consequence of a two-step process of internalization, as described by Joan Grusec and Jacqueline Goodnow (1994). First, the child must clearly understand the parents’ behavioral expectations and standards. Second, the child needs to accept those standards and behave accord- ingly. When behavior is deviant, the behavioral standards must be backed up with consequences.
Long before consequences are necessary, however, parents can do a lot to increase the likelihood of a child accepting their behavioral standards. First, they can be responsive to the child’s needs. Second, they should make sure that the children consider the standards—and the consequences—fair and legitimate. This sense of fairness can be much more readily accomplished if children have a positive relationship with their parents. One index of relationship quality is the presence of positive synchrony. Although it has mostly been studied in parent-infant interac- tions, it is also important when children are older (Harrist & Waugh, 2002). In a study of 122 low-income families, mothers and their 10-year-old sons were observed while discussing a topic of conflict. Positive synchrony was coded when the interactions were harmonious, reciprocal, responsive, interconnected, engaged, and when there was a shared affect (such as when both mother and son laughed). In families with higher levels of positive synchrony compared to other families, boys were less likely to get into trouble (Criss, Shaw, & Ingoldsby, 2003).
Having a good, quality relationship also helps parents with another aspect of effectively managing their children during the middle-childhood years: monitor- ing. Because children are becoming increasingly oriented toward activities outside the family, parents must monitor their children from a distance. Recall from Chapter 4 that monitoring refers to parental awareness of the child’s whereabouts and activities, as well as who is with the child and, more generally, how the child is developing. As children get older, this monitoring takes new forms: the day’s school performance and homework status, what the child is reading, who the child is talk- ing with on the phone or chatting with on the Internet, what the child purchases, and so on (Crouter & Head, 2002).
Chapter 8 • Parenting: The Middle-Childhood Years 191
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Monitoring can be conducted in various ways. An authoritarian father can mon- itor his adolescent daughter by severely limiting her freedom. In contrast, a warm and nurturing father may engage in monitoring through having frequent open con- versations with his son. So monitoring can be conducted in very different ways— and with differing effectiveness. Like many parenting processes, monitoring is a relationship variable, as it reflects the qualities of both the parent and the child. To be effective monitors, parents must be involved, interested in the child’s welfare, and motivated to keep tabs on the child. But as Stattin and Kerr (2000) point out, effective monitoring also requires disclosure on the part of the child. A mother cannot be a good monitor if the child is secretive and refuses to reveal what he or she had been doing! Thankfully, in parent-child dyads where there is good communi- cation and a good relationship, children tend to disclose what is really going on.
There is evidence for a negative association between monitoring and child behavior problems. Parents who reported monitoring their preadolescent children more (as indexed by their knowledge of the child’s daily experiences) had sons with higher school grades and, in dual-earner families, fewer behavior problems (Crouter & Head, 2002). Besides positive synchrony and monitoring, other attrib- utes of effective parental discipline during the middle-childhood period include guidance, responsiveness, approval, use of positive reinforcement, and consistency (e.g., Pettit, Bates, & Dodge, 1997).
Children’s Behavior Problems
As children develop, it is necessary that they regulate themselves more. This is not an easy process for middle-school-aged children. Though they are seeking autonomy and competence, they continue to experience difficulty controlling their own behavior. From a neurological perspective, their frontal cortex, involved in self-regulation and inhibition, is not fully developed. Preadolescent children con- tinue to be motivated by self-centered goals, and they lack some of the social and communicative skills of well-adjusted adults.
Consequently, children in this age group exhibit various behaviors that their parents do not like, are concerned about, or consider problematic. Most commonly, children do not behave as they are asked (such as, “Go outside and play,” or “Go to sleep”); they do things parents do not want done (create messes); and they have conflicts with others (perhaps teasing or fighting with siblings and peers). Dealing with these common problems is intrinsic to everyday child rearing.
The nature and extent of a child’s problem behaviors creates a revealing barom- eter for how well a child is functioning. Even when children are unable to identify and verbalize the cause of their problem, their behavior belies the fact they are experiencing it. When multiple severe problems co-occur, they form disorders. Autism, characterized by social interaction and communication problems and repetitive, stereotyped behavior (see Chapter 6) is an example of a disorder. Autism and some other disorders, such as ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), have any early onset (appearing in the first 5 years of life). Other dis- orders, including depression and anxiety, generally emerge during adolescence
192 PART II • PARENTING AND DEVELOPMENT
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(Zahn-Waxler, Shirtcliff, & Marceau, 2008). The early-onset disorders have a male preponderance; the later ones show a female preponderance.
The most widely used instrument for documenting children’s problems is the Child Behavior Checklist (CBCL), a paper-and-pencil survey of parents, developed by Thomas Achenbach (1991). There are several different versions of the instrument (one for parents of toddlers, one for teachers, and one for youth), but the one most commonly used is designed for parents of children ages 4 to 18 years. That survey contains 115 problem behaviors that children could exhibit. Some of the problems are health-related, such as headaches, asthma, or allergies. Many of them are social (e.g., “physically attacks people”, “gets teased a lot”, “demands a lot of attention”). Also included are problems with emotions (e.g., “cries a lot,” “shy or timid”), sleep (e.g., “nightmares”), and habits (e.g., “thumb-sucking”). Each problem is responded to on a 3-point scale: “not true,” “somewhat or sometimes true,” or “very true or often true.” The particular problems that children exhibit depend on a variety of fac- tors, including the child’s age, temperament, and gender; who is reporting on the problem (parent, child, or teacher); and the actual source of the problem.
Children’s behavior problems are often categorized into two groups or broad- band factors. Problem behaviors that are directed outward, toward other people, are called externalizing. During middle childhood, common externalizing prob- lems include disobedience, anger, fighting, frustration, and screaming. Other problem behaviors are directed inward and labeled internalizing. Common inter- nalizing problems include fear, nervousness, sadness, inhibition, and withdrawal. Table 8.1 lists 18 common internalizing and externalizing problems.
When the number or frequency of behavior problems reaches a certain level, the child is classified as having problems at the clinical level. In one study, the preva- lence of serious psychiatric disorders in children between the ages of 9 and 13, over a 3-year period, was 37% (Costello, Mustillo, Erkanli, Keeler, & Angold, 2003). Such a child should receive professional assessment and treatment in order to address the underlying issues. In the United States, 10% of children have a diagnosable disor- der (U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, 2008).
Although most studies into children’s behavior problems have been conducted in North America, the CBCL has been translated into many languages, and there are now many published investigations of children’s behavior problems around the world. Box 8.3 describes some of that research.
One childhood disorder that comprises multiple problems on the CBCL is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. ADHD is professionally diagnosed when a child’s behavior meets certain criteria listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (American Psychiatric Association, 2000), a manual relied on by clinical psychologists and psychiatrists in most countries around the world. Somewhere between 5% and 7% of children suffer from ADHD, which is charac- terized by high activity levels and an inability to concentrate for long periods of time. Naturally, the disorder makes it difficult to perform well in school. More information about ADHD can be found in Box 8.4.
The specific cause (or etiology) of a child’s behavior problems depends on a variety of factors. A large number of research studies have determined that problems
Chapter 8 • Parenting: The Middle-Childhood Years 193
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194 PART II • PARENTING AND DEVELOPMENT
Anxious
• Fears • Nightmares
Social Withdrawal
• Feels persecuted • Likes to be alone
Depressed
• Lonely • Sad
Hyperactive
• Cannot concentrate • Impulsive
Uncommunicative
• Will not talk • Stares blankly
Aggressive
• Cruel to others • Lies, cheats
Obsessive-Compulsive
• Obsessions • Excessive talk
Delinquent
• Destroys others’ things • Steals at home
Somatic Complaints • Overtired • Stomach problems
Source: Achenbach, 1991.
Table 8.1 Common Types of Child Behavior Problems During Middle Childhood
Child Behavior Problems Around the World
How similar are the behavior problems of children from different countries? Researchers have translated the Child Behavior Checklist, the Teacher Report Form, and the Youth Self-Report into more than 80 languages and used it in more than 67 societies (Achenbach, 2008). The results, based on more than 115,000 assessments of school-aged children, were surprising. The types of problems experienced by American children and youth, as captured by the eight- syndrome model, are strikingly similar to patterns across many countries includ- ing Iran, Ethiopia, the People’s Republic of China, and Lebanon. Differences were found, however, in the total number of problems. For example, according to 31,000 teacher reports in 21 countries/societies, children in Puerto Rico, Thailand, and Jamaica had almost 3 times as many problems as children in Japan, Finland, and China did.
Not surprisingly, the classification of a child’s problems is related to his or her environment. Clinical psychologist John Weisz and his colleagues (Weisz, Sigman, Weiss, & Mosk, 1993) compared rates of behavior problems in 11 to 15-year-old children who lived in Kenya, in Thailand, and in the United States. The Embu Kenyan children and the U.S. children had the highest total problem
BOX 8.3
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Chapter 8 • Parenting: The Middle-Childhood Years 195
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Families
Mark, age 14, has more energy than do most boys his age. But then, he is always been very active. At age 3, he was a human tornado, dashing around and disrupting everything in his path. At home, he darted from one activity to the next, leaving a trail of toys behind him. At meals, he upset dishes and chattered nonstop. He was reckless and impulsive, running into the street with oncoming cars no matter how many times his mother explained the danger or scolded him. On the playground, he seemed no wilder than the other kids. But his tendency to overreact—like socking playmates simply for bumping into him—had already gotten him into trouble several times.
About 1 in 20 children in the United States have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and it is about twice as common in boys as girls (American Psychiatric Association, 2000). It is not a problem unique to the United States; based on 30 studies from non-U.S. samples, the prevalence is even higher in some countries (Faraone, Sergeant, Gillberg, & Biederman, 2003). The disorder is typically characterized by impulsivity, hyperactivity, and inattention, but there are multiple subtypes of the disorder (such as ADHD/Inattentive, ADHD/Combined Inattention and Impulsivity).
The most common cause of this externalizing problem appears to be a con- genital problem (caused by problems in pregnancy or delivery) or a genetic predisposition to act in ways that are stressful, demanding, and intrusive to other family members. These kids evoke negative reactions from other family members and serve as a disruptive influence on the family. Parents of children with ADHD are more likely to engage in inconsistent, harsh, and reactive disci- pline (Johnston & Mash, 2001). ADHD sometimes co-occurs with other prob- lems, such as conduct disorder (CD), a serious problem of persistent and repeated violations of social rules and the rights of others. To date, most of the research has been on boys during the elementary years, but ADHD has been diagnosed in preschoolers, adolescents, and adults, as well. The diagnosis is con- troversial, because it can be easily misdiagnosed, exposing children to unneeded medication, which is the most common treatment. Ironically, stimulants such as Ritalin, Concerta, Dexedrine, and Adderall are effective treatment for many children with true ADHD. How long does ADHD last? For some children, symp- toms disappear by ages 8 to 10. However, for other children, symptoms con- tinue into adulthood (Shaw, Lacourse, & Nagin, 2005).
BOX 8.4
scores, though their patterns of problems differed. Embu children, who are raised with a strict emphasis on compliance and obedience, had more internal- izing or over-controlled problems (e.g., fears, feeling guilty, bodily complaints). The U.S. children had externalizing or under-controlled problems (e.g., arguing, disobedience at home, and cruelty to others). Those data support the view that the environment children are raised in plays a key role in not only their number of behavior problems but also what forms these problems take.
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can originate with the child, the parent, the parent-child relationship, or the larger environmental context. Bronfenbrenner’s Bioecological Systems Theory is a useful way of organizing the different causes of problems.
The source of a problem may be a child’s genotype, as is apparently often the case with ADHD, but other problems appear to be caused by poor parenting. And problems can occur due to faulty parent-child interactions, not just child maltreat- ment (to be discussed in Chapter 12). In particular, a meta-analytic review of par- enting and children’s externalizing problems found that parents who provided more acceptance, approval, warmth, guidance, and synchrony—and who displayed an absence of coercive control—had children with fewer externalizing behavior problems (Rothbaum & Weisz, 1994). These associations were stronger during the grade-school years than in the preschool period. However, warmth and acceptance is not always associated with healthy child development. One study found that mothers who were high in affection but also high in psychological control had children with more internalizing and externalizing problems (Aunola & Nurmi, 2005). By using psychological control in the middle-childhood years, the mothers appear to be giving guilt-inducing communications in an effort to manipulate the children and increase dependence.
There is increasing evidence that problems in the microsystem (such as marital conflict, parental stress, single parenthood, and low socioeconomic status) are asso- ciated with more childhood problems (Pettit et al., 1997). Mesosystem instability such as with poverty, community violence, or living in a war zone also can be con- tributing factors. See Table 8.2 for a list of the many variables that have been linked to child behavior problems. These variables can be grouped into four categories of variables: Child Characteristics, Parenting or Parent-Child relationships, Family Variables, and Environment and Social Context.
A good illustration of some of the variables associated with children’s outcomes can be found in the research on children’s reactions to marital conflict.
Marital Conflict
One of the best documented sources of a child’s behavior problems, especially in the middle-childhood years, is marital conflict in that child’s home. Recall from Chapter 5 that the transition to parenthood, for most parents, is joyful but difficult. Given the many adjustments that must be made—the time demands, sleep depri- vation, and added pressures—it is no wonder that couples are stressed. For many couples, the additional stress means more marital conflict as they argue over such topics as lack of time spent together, too much time devoted to work, how money is spent, frequency of sex, time spent with relatives, and child rearing. Not surpris- ingly, couples who do not have good communication patterns tend to have a greater decrease in marital satisfaction than other couples.
The effects of marital conflict are not limited to a decreased satisfaction with the marriage. There is a sizable body of literature indicating that children are negatively affected by exposure to the marital conflict. It is upsetting to witness intense nega- tive emotions; it is particularly distressing if they are coming from your parents.
196 PART II • PARENTING AND DEVELOPMENT
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Exposure to marital conflict can directly lead to problems in multiple ways (Wilson & Gottman, 2002; Zimet & Jacob, 2002). One mechanism is that children might model some of the negative behavior they observe, assuming that aggressive behav- ior is a legitimate way to deal with problems. Second, marital conflict threatens children’s sense of emotional security. This idea refers to a theory developed by Patrick Davies and Mark Cummings (1994). According to their theory, when children are exposed to marital conflict—either directly (such as by overhearing the fights) or indirectly (such as seeing the aftermath of the acrimonious relation- ship)—they begin to feel insecure about their own well-being. This occurs because they jump to the conclusion that the marital arguments must mean their parents are going to get divorced.
Children can also be affected by marital arguments when the conflict spills over into the parent-child relationship. Following an argument with a spouse, parents are more likely to be irritable with their children and engage in harsh or authori- tarian parenting. Or parents may become withdrawn and unavailable. Either way, the children are negatively affected (Zimet & Jacob, 2002). In a study that included middle-childhood children, Buehler and Gerard (2002) found that marital conflict was linked to child maladjustment through harsh parenting and decreased
Chapter 8 • Parenting: The Middle-Childhood Years 197
Source: Based on Campbell, 2002.
Table 8.2 Variables Associated With Children’s Behavior Problems
Child Characteristics Family Variables
Biological/risk vulnerability
Temperamental difficultness
Emotion-regulation problems
Cognitive delays
Deficits in social skills
Single-parent
Marital discord
Parental psychological disorder
Stress
Substance abuse
Parenting or Parent-Child Relationship Environmental and Social Context
Insensitive/unresponsive
Unavailable
Lack of warmth
Insecure attachment
Limited social/cognitive stimulation
Harsh, inflexible control
Reliance on physical punishment
Lax control strategies
Inappropriate expectations
Low education level
Unemployment
Poor quality of child care
Poverty
Neighborhood disadvantage
Natural disasters
Social unrest and war
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involvement. There were also direct links between marital conflict and child prob- lems, suggesting that direct exposure to the conflict was its own source of problems, apart from any changes in parenting quality.
A key variable that influences how children are affected by marital conflict is the way the child thinks about the conflict. A cognitive-contextual model that captures this internal process was developed by John Grych and Frank Fincham (1990). According to the model, children initially evaluate their parents’ quarrels by the perceived negativity, level of threat, and relevance to themselves. Based on that assessment, children then make causal attributions (e.g., “My parents are arguing over my behavior; I caused it”). Children then respond to the conflict based on these assessments. Marital conflict can be distinguished in four dimensions: frequency, intensity, content, and resolution, as is depicted in Illustration 8.3.
The Grych and Fincham model helped to guide Patricia Kerig’s (1998) investi- gation of how middle-childhood children reacted to marital conflict. She wondered whether children’s appraisals of marital conflict mediated or moderated their adjustment. If the perceptions mediated the conflict, then how the children per- ceived their parents’ fights would directly influence the link between exposure to the conflict and the children’s adjustment, as is illustrated below:
Exposure to Conflict ! Child’s Appraisal ! Child’s Adjustment
However, if children’s perceptions were moderators of the relations, then those appraisals could influence the degree or direction of the relations between two vari- ables, but they would not be causally related to the two variables. The figure below reflects a moderational model of marital conflict and child adjustment:
198 PART II • PARENTING AND DEVELOPMENT
Child’s Appraisal
Exposure to Conflict Child’s Adjustment
Kerig based her research on the reports of 174 children ages 7 to 11, and she determined that a moderational model more accurately accounted for the data. Furthermore, she concluded that marital conflict does indeed effect children’s behavioral adjustments. Although a child’s appraisal of marital conflict can intensify or reduce the effects of that conflict on the child’s adjustment, the straightforward relation between the conflict and the maladjustment still exists. This finding indi- cates that children’s appraisals influence the severity of their own reaction but cannot protect children from the negative effects of interpersonal conflict in the home.
There are, however, some variables that can help to protect children—for instance, whether the conflict was resolved. Also, was the conflict free of yelling, intense anger, verbal or physical aggression, threats, withdrawal, and child-blaming?
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Chapter 8 • Parenting: The Middle-Childhood Years 199
Context
Distal - Past experience with conflict
Emotional climate Temperament Gender
Proximal -Expectations Mood
Intensity Content Duration Resolution
Marital Conflict
Primary Processing
Affect
Secondary Processing
Coping Behavior
Illustration 8.3 A cognitive-contextual framework for understanding children’s responses to marital conflicts.
Source: Grych & Fincham, 1990.
If so, then it likely will have fewer negative consequences for the child. A “safer” marital conflict is characterized by mutual respect, positive communication, and resolution (or at least progress toward resolution). When parents can amicably agree to disagree, children show few ill effects (Cummings, Goeke-Morey, & Graham, 2002).
Marital Dissolution and Its Aftermath
Sometimes marital conflicts cannot be resolved, and the consequence is a dis- solution of the union. Each year there are about 1 million divorce decrees in the United States and about half of those involve children (Greene, Anderson, Hetherington, Forgatch, & DeGarmo, 2003). It is estimated that 40% of all children in the United States will experience a parental divorce. Most (90%) children will stay with their biological mother. However, about half of divorced individuals remarry within 4 years (Greene et al., 2003). Consequently, the children will then become members of a stepfamily (also known as blended or reconstituted families).
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200 PART II • PARENTING AND DEVELOPMENT
As those statistics make clear, divorce and its aftermath is a long-term process that involves many changes and adjustments. Among the types of changes that may occur:
• Place of residence • Daily routine • Schools and peers • Family financial situation • Increased negative emotions • Quality of parenting • Relationship with custodial and noncustodial parents
For example, the child-rearing practices of the custodial mothers as well as non- custodial fathers have been found to change. When mothers experience a financial decline, as is common their parenting behavior is negatively affected (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 2002). Mothers are less likely to discipline and monitor their children effectively. Nonresidential fathers’ child-rearing behavior has also been found to change. They are less likely to communicate openly with their children, as well as show affection or praise (Amato, 2000).
Just how well a child weathers these and other changes depends on many vari- ables, including the child’s age and gender, the amount of stress and level of acri- mony between the divorcing parents, the degree of consistency and continuity in the child’s life, and whether both parents are accessible, involved with the child, and cooperative with each other (Hetherington & Stanley-Hagan, 2002; see Illustration 8.4). Some 20% to 25% of children who experience parental divorce react with high levels of behavior problems, in comparison to 10% of children in nondivorcing families (Greene et al., 2003).
Although divorce and its aftermath is a difficult experience for the individuals involved, the research evidence indicates that many problems will dissipate, partic- ularly if the mother’s remarriage is a positive one or if the child is resilient— defined as being capable of adapting positively in the face of adversity (Waller, 2001). However, some children who appear to be less resilient can continue to show lingering problems many years postdivorce. An important task for parents is to monitor their children’s adjustment and seek professional help when the children exhibit severe, numerous, or persistent problems.
Parents and External Influences
As children grow, an increasing amount of time is spent with people other than their parents. Time spent with these other individuals—and the activities engaged in—represent an inevitable influence on development. During the middle-childhood years, three influences on socialization take on an increasing significance: peers, schools, and electronic media.
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Chapter 8 • Parenting: The Middle-Childhood Years 201
Peers
A child’s interest in peers begins in infancy. As early as 6 months of age, a baby will smile at, vocalize for, gesture to, or even reach out to touch other infants. At 18 months, toddlers are highly attentive to peers. By the time they are preschoolers, children engage peers in complex social play (Rubin, Bukowski, & Parker, 1998; see Illustration 8.5).
As children move into the middle-childhood years, the quality of peer interac- tions becomes increasingly sophisticated and significant to the children. Friendships are developed, and peer groups are established. Both individual and group relationships are important influences on children’s development in ways that parents cannot be. For example, although parents may tell their children they are the best at everything they do, it is through social comparisons with their peers that children learn about their true strengths and weaknesses. Peers provide
Illustration 8.4 Some of the many changes associated with divorce.
Source: © 2008 The New Yorker Collection from cartoonbank.com. All rights reserved.
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202 PART II • PARENTING AND DEVELOPMENT
pressure to conform and critical feedback either directly (by teasing or telling the child) or indirectly (by association or lack thereof ). Relationships with peers are qualitatively different from relationships with parents due to the power equality shared by peers. (Remember saying, “You are not the boss of me!” and how good it felt?) Peer relationships are therefore classified as horizontal, versus the vertical relationship with one’s more powerful parents. This experience with horizontal relations provides a unique staging area for later development. By dealing with equal- status peers, children learn to exercise influence in a different way. In turn, these interactions influence children’s social and emotional well-being, self-concept, and self-esteem (Harter, 2006).
Parents are not idle bystanders in peer-relation processes. Rather, they play mul- tiple roles in children’s peer relationships and development of social competence. In early childhood, this means adopting certain social roles on the child’s behalf, such as being a social broker (to find friends), a gatekeeper (to exclude undesirable peers), a police officer (to intervene during conflicts), and a social coach (to improve the child’s quality of interaction). Each role played by the parent helps the child become more competent in interacting with peers (Ladd & Pettit, 2002).
Illustration 8.5 The peer group becomes increasingly important to children during the middle-childhood years. Nevertheless parents continue to play a role in managing and monitoring contacts with peers.
Source: © 2009 Jupiterimages Corporation.
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During middle childhood, it is the monitoring of peer relations that gains promi- nence. Mothers also work with their children to respond to problematic peer inter- actions characterized by arguing, teasing, or bullying. Parents can have an indirect influence on their children’s peer relationships, too. For example, there is some evi- dence that if there is a history a a secure parent-child attachment relationship, children are more apt to have competent social relations with peers (Thompson, 2006).
School
With the exception of the more than 1 million children who are homeschooled in the United States (National Center for Education Statistics, 2003), a child in mid- dle childhood spends most of his structured time in school. Schools provide a new setting for children to achieve a number of important developmental milestones, including academic success, responsive and warm relationships with teachers, and positive peer relationships (Wentzel & Looney, 2007).
Parents directly and indirectly influence a child’s cognitive and school achieve- ments through their general parental beliefs and behavior (such as a strong work ethic), as well as a number of specific behaviors (such as teaching strategies) (Wigfield, Eccles, Schiefele, Roeser, & Davis-Kean, 2006). Parents select the school district to live in or the particular school to attend. They arrange opportunities for a child to develop skills, provide lessons and activities outside of school, purchase education-related tools, and expose a child to conversation and topics (Gauvain & Perez, 2005). Once the child is enrolled in school, parents talk with teachers, volun- teer in classrooms, join parent-teacher associations, help with homework, as well as attend performances and athletic events.
By being involved, as well as setting high expectations, modeling, encouraging, and instructing, parents help to promote school success with their children. The most direct way that parents are involved with their children’s schooling is through homework (Hoover-Dempsey et al., 2001). However, the total amount of time spent in helping homework assistance does not correlate with achievement. In fact, a cross-culture study found the opposite was true. In China, Japan, and the United States, the more time mothers spent helping their elementary school-aged child with homework, the lower the child’s grade was (Chen & Stevenson, 1989). The explanation was that the children who were doing less well in school received the most amount of time from parents in completing their assignments; thus, a child effect was driving parental behavior.
An alternative explanation was not investigated: The mothers who spent the most time were not effectively instructing their children. If parents are adept at tutoring, then children may perform better at school, as was found in a longitudinal study. Mothers who were observed to engage in the scaffolding of children’s math problems as a tutoring strategy had children who performed better academically in the 4th grade (Mattanah, Pratt, Cowan & Cowan, 2005). However, one mistake parents sometimes inadvertently make is to praise children. According the research by Carol Dweck, parents can hamper their children’s academic success by labeling them as smart (Mueller & Dweck, 1998; see Box 8.5).
Chapter 8 • Parenting: The Middle-Childhood Years 203
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A good education is widely valued by parents as a prerequisite for successful and satisfying employment (Dunn et al., 2003). Consequently, parents engage in a vari- ety of activities to promote this goal. For example, parents begin reading to their children in infancy and then engage in other literacy-based practices such as shared reading (e.g., Deckner, Adamson, & Bakeman, 2006). Once parents have enrolled their children in school, they work to ensure their success. What had previously been labeled “parental school involvement” has evolved into a multidimensional construct of a complex array of parental actions, including monitoring the child, helping with homework, creating positive peer networks, and being involved with the school. For example, in a study of parental involvement during a student’s tran- sition to high school and completion of freshman year, Falbo, Lein, and Amador (2001) found that parents’ actions did matter. Those parents who monitored their teen’s academic and social life, helped with school work, created a positive peer net- work, and participated directly in the school had children who fared better.
Electronic Media
Seemingly at earlier and earlier ages, children are drawn to electronic media (including television, DVDs, videos, electronic games, as well as computer and Internet use). In a survey of over 1,000 parents, it was found that by 3 months of age, 40% of infants were regularly watching TV, DVDs, or videos (Zimmerman, Christakis, & Meltzoff, 2007). At 24 months, 90% of the children were regular view- ers, and they averaged 1.5 hours per day. By the middle-childhood years, children are watching TV for more than 3 hours per day and spending another 3 hours in media use. Three quarters of all children have TV sets in their bedrooms. In many American homes, the TV is on “most of the time.” In a majority of homes, it is on during meals (Rideout, Roberts, & Foehr, 2005; Vandewater, Park, Huang, & Wartella, 2005).
204 PART II • PARENTING AND DEVELOPMENT204 PART II • PARENTING AND DEVELOPMENT
Warning: Do Not Tell Children They Are Smart!
Well, at least that is the implication of research by Carol Dweck of Stanford University. For many years, she has studied children’s motivations and achieve- ments. Conventional wisdom is that parents should praise children for good per- formance by telling them they are smart. However, in a series of studies, she and her colleague (Mueller & Dweck, 1998) discovered that with 5th graders, this is a bad idea for at least two reasons. By attributing good performance to intelli- gence, children are likely to have the goal of getting high grades rather than the goal of learning or being challenged. Second, when children get a low grade, they then might decide that they actually are not smart after all. What is a parent to do? Praise the effort that went into earning the good grade. If children learn the important lesson that hard work is needed for success, they will then be prone to work harder in the future to achieve their goals.
BOX 8.5
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Electronic media provide children with many benefits, such as information, education, entertainment, and relaxation. Television shows can promote creativity and imaginative play. For parents, it means a free babysitter. However, a majority of parents are concerned about the effects of electronic media on their children, including exposure to inappropriate content, the dangers of advertising, and expo- sure to strangers on the Internet (Lenhart, Rainie, & Lewis, 2001). Frequent depic- tions of violence and sex on television and in movies and electronic games may affect children’s sense of what is normal and acceptable. Depictions of violence are glamorized, and the effects of the violence are not displayed. With frequent depic- tions of violence, children become desensitized to it (Funk, Baldacci, Pasold, & Baumgardner, 2004). Television advertising has repeatedly been shown to promote materialism and family conflict (e.g., when parents deny a purchase request) (Buijzen & Valkenburg, 2003). Food advertisements are thought to be particularly pernicious to children as they encourage overeating. Relatively new threats come through access to the Internet: pornography, sexual solicitations, and even cyber- bullying—characterized by online threats, rumors, or offensive language (Mitchell, Finkelhor, & Wolak, 2003). Last, electronic media use is a passive activity that can rob children of healthier alternatives such as reading, playing outdoors, developing talents, and spending time interacting with family or peers.
Parents play a significant role in a child’s exposure to electronic media—at least in the home. They decide how early in life the child will begin to watch or use media, the types of media and their locations in the home, and how much time per day the child is exposed to the media. Parents can also watch (co-view) or play the media along with the child, turning a potentially solitary activity into an opportunity for fun interaction. If children are allowed to have televisions or computers in their rooms, then the ability of parents to limit and control media use is greatly reduced.
Parents can certainly set rules for the use of electronics, but only about half of all parents set limitations on TV viewing, and only about 20% of them bother to enforce the rules, according to children (Rideout et al., 2005). About half of all parents use TV ratings to inform their decisions about what their children can view, but only about 15% of parents make use of V-chip technology that allows blocking of shows with violent content. Parents can also mediate TV content by co-viewing and discussing it.
One example of the wide range in parental limit setting was found in a study of mothers and their 3rd to 6th graders. Almost one third (29%) of the mothers had only a few rules about TV viewing. A second group of mothers (27%) had a hand- ful of rules restricting its use. A third group, consisting of 25% of the mothers, had many rules regarding time use, the content, and required their children to ask per- mission prior to viewing shows. The remaining mothers (19%) gave their children considerable leeway in their use of media, so long as the children had finished their homework and chores (St. Peters, Fitch, Huston, Wright, & Eakins, 1991).
What do pediatricians say about television? The American Academy of Pediatrics (2007) recommends that middle-school children watch no more than 2 hours of quality programming per day—and that televisions be kept out of bedrooms.
Chapter 8 • Parenting: The Middle-Childhood Years 205
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Chapter Summary
In some ways, parenting a child during the middle-childhood period represents a period of calm after the preschool years but before adolescence hits. However, many changes are going on in most families. One such change, if it has not already hap- pened, is the arrival of a second or third child. Birth order and sibling interaction is discussed. The degree to which fathers are involved with the children varies widely, though involvement is associated with better childhood behavior. During this age period, disciplinary practices are modified, in line with the child’s increas- ing autonomy. A number of child behavior problems can emerge during this time period. One of the sources of those problems is marital conflict. How a child per- ceives the marital conflict affects the child’s response to it. When the conflict leads to marital dissolution, a variety of changes follow. These changes commonly include modifications in parenting, living situation, and finances. Children in turn respond to these stressful transitions by exhibiting behavior problems.
Middle childhood is also a time when influences outside the family become increasingly attractive and influential. In particular, peers, school, and the electronic media are primary centers of attention for children during this age period. Parents are not passive bystanders to these external influences. Rather, the ways in which parents manage their children’s peer relations, are involved in their children’s school and homework, and supervise media exposure are linked to children’s development.
Thought Questions
• What is your theory of how birth order affects personality and behavior? • What are some of the ways parents can effectively address children’s behavior
problems? What are ineffective ways? • Consider the roles of peers during middle childhood. In what domains are
they most influential? What role do parents play in peer influence during this time?
• What do you see as the benefits and hazards of the electronic media?
206 PART II • PARENTING AND DEVELOPMENT
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