Chapter 4 Discussion
CHAPTER 4 Notes Families
I. IS CONFLICT BETWEEN TEENAGERS AND PARENTS INEVITABLE?
A. Contrary to stereotypes, adolescents and parents usually get along very well, share similar values, and see eye-to-eye on a range of important issues. Unfortunately, parents who
believe in the stereotype that adolescents are difficult are more likely to have more
negative relationships with their adolescent—known as a self-fulfilling prophecy.
B. The Generation Gap: Fact and Fiction: Although most people believe there is a gap between the generations (holding of different values between adolescents and adults), this
is not the case. When there are sharp differences in opinion, they tend to revolve around
matters of personal taste rather than fundamental values and attitudes.
C. What Do Adolescents and Parents Usually Fight About? Studies find that the most common types of disagreements between parents and adolescents include things like
teenagers’ curfews, leisure-time activities, clothing, and the cleanliness of their rooms.
Additionally, conflict between teenagers and parents typically involves the different ways
that they define the same issues. For example, making sure that an adolescent’s bedroom
is tidy is often seen by parents as an area over which they have “jurisdiction.” Teenagers,
however, tend to see their rooms as their own private space, and decisions about neatness
are matters of personal choice. In other words, teenagers and their parents often clash
more over the definition of the issue (e.g., whether something is a matter of safety rather
than a matter of personal choice) than over the specific details. Researchers in many
countries have found similar results on this issue.
D. Rebels With a Cause: Contrary to stereotype, adolescents rarely rebel against their parents just for the sake of rebelling. Adolescents are usually willing to accept their
parents’ rules when they agree that the issue is a moral one (such as cheating on a test) or
a safety-related one (such as drinking and driving), but they are less inclined to accept
their parents’ authority when they view the issue as personal. Adolescents who believe
that their parents are overcontrolling are more likely to become oppositional. As
adolescents age, they become more willing to lie to their parents.
II. FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS AT ADOLESCENCE
A. A Time of Reorganization and Change: Family systems’ theorists suggest that families must adapt to the changing needs and capabilities of each of their members. Families
move through phases and stages in their development that make up a family life cycle.
Adolescence presents a challenge to most families. Because of biological, cognitive, and
social changes in the adolescent, the entire system—especially parents—must adjust with
resultant changes in family functions and needs.
B. The Adolescent’s Parents at Midlife: For many adults, midlife is a time of heightened introspection and personal reevaluation. It can be a difficult time for adults whether they
have children or not. Some experts even describe this time as a “midlife crisis.”
C. Midlife Meets Adolescence: Because many parents are at this stage in the life cycle when their children are teenagers, the so-called midlife crisis of adulthood may coincide with
the “identity crisis” of adolescence. This overlap of crises is likely to affect family
relationships. At midlife, parents must contrast their adolescent hopes with their current
status.
D. The Mental Health of Parents: One study found that nearly two-thirds of mothers and fathers described adolescence as the most difficult stage of parenting. In general, parents
who have some strong interests outside the family or who are very happily married cope
better with the changes of adolescence than do other parents. Single mothers may be
especially vulnerable to negative consequences while parenting adolescents. The belief
that mental health declines when adolescents leave home (the “empty nest” stage) is a
myth, especially among mothers. Parents’ mental health is worse when their teenage
children are living at home than it is once they have moved out. When children leave
home, it is fathers, not mothers, who typically feel the greatest sense of loss.
E. Changes in Family Needs and Functions: One of the most important changes undergone by the family during adolescence is financial. All parents are burdened with maintaining
their adolescents’ clothing and peer-related expenses, and many also face the economic
burden of saving for college. Additionally, parents may also find themselves financially
responsible for their own aging parents. The financial demands placed on parents in the
“sandwich generation” (i.e., sandwiched between their adolescent children and their
aging parents) require considerable adjustment. Families must also adjust and cope with
the increasing importance of the adolescent’s peer group. Friction in the family also may
arise from parents perceiving the adolescent as being more able to shoulder a greater part
of family obligations.
F. Special Concerns of Immigrant Families: Although American families are likely to have an individualistic orientation, immigrant families seem to place an especially high value
on familism (when the needs of one’s family take precedence over the needs of the
individual). When family members expect an adolescent to spend a lot of time translating
bills or insurance forms, the parents’ authority over him or her may be undermined.
When an adolescent adopts values and expectations of a new country but his or her
parents do not, a difficult situation called generational dissonance results.
G. Transformations in Family Relations: The changes that adolescents undergo, the changes their parents undergo, and changes the entire family undergoes make this a challenging
time. Adolescents become less likely to accept parents’ authority and start to seek a
relationship where they are on a more equal footing with their parents.
H. Changes in the Balance of Power: Early adolescence marks the beginning of the shift toward the adolescent’s desire for more egalitarian roles in the family. As a result, it is
from ages 12–16 that we observe the most disruption in the family. By ages 16–20,
however, adolescents act and are treated as adults more often, and their relationships with
their parents improve. What parents and other adults may consider a serious discussion
can be interpreted by adolescents as a show of anger.
I. The Role of Puberty: The adolescent’s biological and cognitive maturation also play a role in the family transformation. Although puberty has been associated with diminished
closeness and physical affection, this type of distancing diminishes during late
adolescence. Patterns of closeness in the family at adolescence may vary across ethnic
groups and may also differ as a function of the family’s degree of acculturation. For
example, in Asian households, conflict usually increases later in adolescence because
Asian teenagers are less likely to push for independence at an early age. Additionally, in
Mexican American families, higher rates of parent–adolescent cohesion during mid-
adolescence are found among more highly acculturated families.
J. Sex Differences in Family Relationships: In general, sons and daughters report similar degrees of closeness to their parents, amounts of conflict, types of rules, and patterns of
activity. However, teenagers relate very differently to mothers and fathers. When
examining the role of gender in the parent–adolescent relationship, the gender of the
parent with whom the adolescent interacts seems to be the most influential factor in the
relationship. Across many ethnic groups and cultures, adolescents tend to be closer to
their mothers, to spend more time alone with their mothers, and to feel more comfortable
talking to their mothers about problems and other emotional matters (which probably
contributes to why mothers tend to be more involved than fathers in their adolescents’
lives). However, adolescents also fight more often with their mothers than with their
fathers and perceive mothers as more controlling. Although adolescents spend about
twice as much time with their mothers as with their fathers, time spent with fathers—
perhaps because it is a relative rarity—is more predictive of adolescents’ social
competence and feelings of self-worth.
III. FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS AND ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT
A. Relationships differ from family to family. Some parents are stricter than others, and some show more affection than others. Are some styles of parenting more likely to be
associated with healthy development? When considering the impact of various patterns of
family relationships on the development of the adolescent, it is important to remember
that the socialization of the adolescent is a two-way street. In other words, it is a product
of how the parents influence the adolescent and how the adolescent influences the
parents. For example, harsh (punitive and/or physical) discipline leads to increases in an
adolescent’s problem behavior, which, in turn, leads to more punitive and detached
parenting. In addition, various types of parenting can affect adolescents differently. For
example, hostile and aloof parenting can lead to more antisocial behavior in adolescents
who are temperamentally more impulsive; in contrast, the same parenting behaviors can
lead to anxiety and depression in adolescents who are temperamentally more introverted.
B. Parenting Styles and Their Effects: Two aspects of parents’ behavior toward adolescents are critical: parental responsiveness (degree to which the parent responds to the child’s
needs in an accepting, supportive manner) and parental demandingness (the extent to
which the parent expects and demands mature, responsible behavior from the child).
C. Four Types of Parenting: Social scientists distinguish among four general types of parenting styles: authoritative parenting, which is warm, firm, and fair; authoritarian
parenting, which is more punitive, restrictive, and controlling; indulgent parenting, which
is more accepting, benign, and passive; and indifferent parenting, which is withdrawn,
disengaged, or absent. Authoritative parents seek to raise a child who is self-reliant and
has a strong sense of initiative. Authoritarian parents place a high value on obedience and
conformity, with the underlying belief that the child should accept without question the
rules and standards established by the parents. They also tend to favor more absolute and
forceful disciplinary measures. Indulgent parents place relatively few demands on the
child’s behavior and seem to be especially concerned with raising a happy child.
Indifferent parents are neither responsive nor demanding and try to minimize the time
and energy they must devote to interacting with their child.
D. The Power of Authoritative Parenting: The research findings on the link between what parents do and how adolescents turn out have been amazingly consistent. Authoritative
parenting has been shown to benefit adolescents from a variety of ethnic backgrounds,
social classes, and family structures (within and outside the United States). Generally
speaking, adolescents who grow up in households in which parents are authoritative—
high in both responsiveness and demandingness—are more responsible, self-assured,
creative, intellectually curious, socially skilled, and academically successful than their
peers who are raised in authoritarian, indulgent, or indifferent homes. Furthermore,
authoritative parenting encourages intellectual growth, the development of autonomy,
and the formation of healthy peer relationships and identifications between young people
and their parents. In contrast, adolescents raised in authoritarian homes are more
dependent, more passive, less socially adept, less self-assured, and less intellectually
curious. Adolescents raised in indulgent homes are less mature, less responsible, and
more conforming to their peers. Adolescents raised in indifferent homes are often
impulsive and more likely to be involved in delinquent behavior and in experimentation
with sex, drugs, and alcohol. The evidence supporting the advantages of authoritative
parenting is strong.
E. Ethnic Differences in Parenting Practices: Ethnic differences do exist in parenting styles. It is important to distinguish between the prevalence of parenting styles in different
populations and the effect of parenting styles in different populations. Authoritative
parenting is less common among Black, Asian, and Hispanic families than it is among
White families. Some ethnic minority families that appear to use authoritarian parenting
actually use “strict-affectionate” parenting, according to some studies. Authoritarian
parenting may be less harmful in ethnic minority families that live in dangerous
communities. Adolescents in all ethnic groups benefit from responsive, demanding
parenting.
F. The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting: Based on many decades of parenting and child development research, Steinberg identified 10 things that parents should keep in
mind: (1) what you do matters; (2) you cannot be too loving; (3) be involved in your
child’s life; (4) adapt your parenting to fit your child; (5) establish rules and set limits; (6)
help foster your child’s independence; (7) be consistent; (8) avoid harsh discipline; (9)
explain your rules and decisions; and (10) treat your child with respect.
G. How Authoritative Parenting Works: First, authoritative parents provide an appropriate balance between restrictiveness and autonomy, giving the adolescent opportunities to
develop self-reliance while providing the standards, limits, and guidelines that teenagers
still need. Second, because authoritative parents are more likely to engage their children
in verbal give-and-take, they are likely to promote the sort of intellectual development
that provides an important foundation for the development of psychosocial maturity.
Third, because authoritative parenting is based on a warm parent–adolescent relationship,
adolescents are more likely to identify with, admire, and form strong attachments to their
parents, which make them more open to their parents’ influence. It is important to keep in
mind that the child’s own behavior, personality, and temperament may play a role in
shaping parents’ behavior. Children who are responsible, self-directed, curious, and self-
assured elicit parental behavior that is warm and flexible. In contrast, children who are
irritable, aggressive, dependent, or less psychosocially mature may provoke parents’
behavior that is excessively harsh, passive, or distant.
H. Autonomy and Attachment in the Adolescent’s Family: Studies of parent–adolescent interaction show that the healthiest families are those that permit the adolescent to
develop a sense of autonomy while staying emotionally attached to the family.
Adolescents who are permitted to assert their own opinions within a family context that is
secure and loving develop higher self-esteem and more mature coping abilities.
Adolescents whose autonomy is squelched are at risk for developing feelings of
depression and low self-esteem, whereas those who do not feel connected are more likely
than their peers to develop behavior problems.
I. Adolescents’ Relationships with Siblings: Children and adolescents learn much about social relationships from sibling interactions and, in general, adolescents’ relations with
siblings are different from those with parents or with friends. Adolescents rate their
sibling relationships similarly to those with their parents in companionship and
importance, but more like friendships with respect to power, assistance, and their
satisfaction with the relationship. Over the course of adolescence, adolescents’
relationships with siblings—especially with younger siblings—become more equal but
more distant, less influential, and less emotionally intense. Additionally, patterns of
change in sibling relationships differ between same-sex and opposite-sex dyads. Siblings’
relationships, however, improve as adolescents move into adulthood. Despite these
changes over time, there is considerable stability in sibling relationships, with those who
are relatively close during childhood remaining close during adolescence. Siblings can
learn a great deal from each other, both positive and negative. Positive sibling
relationships contribute to adolescents’ academic competence, sociability, health,
autonomy, and self-worth. Research also shows that siblings can influence each other’s
drug use and antisocial behavior.
J. A Network of Relationships: The quality of the parent–adolescent relationship affects the quality of relations between brothers and sisters. Also, the quality of adolescents’
relationships with their friends affects how they interact with their own siblings.
IV. GENETIC INFLUENCES ON ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT
A. Researchers interested in studying the issue of genetic and environmental influences examine this issue in three main ways: (1) studying adolescents who are twins, to see
whether identical twins are more similar than fraternal twins; (2) studying adolescents
who have been adopted, to see whether adopted adolescents are more like their biological
parents than like their adoptive parents; and (3) studying adolescents and their siblings in
stepfamilies, to see whether similarity between siblings varies with their biological
relatedness. Thanks to molecular genetics, scientists can identify different versions of a
specific gene that are associated with certain traits. Genetic mutations called alleles may
guide development in different directions. For instance, the alleles we inherit from our
parents may make us more likely or less likely to develop depression when exposed to
stress.
B. Genetic and Environmental Influences on Adolescent Development: Behavior genetics distinguishes between two types of environmental influences: shared environmental
influences (factors in the environment that siblings have in common) and nonshared
environmental influences (factors in the environment that are not similar and make
siblings different from one another). Research suggests that aggression, various
emotional and behavioral problems (e.g., depression, suicide), intelligence, competence,
self-conceptions, and self-image are all influenced by genetic factors. It is important to
understand that genes may shape biological tendencies, but whether these tendencies are
actualized often depends on the environment (e.g., genetic influences on antisocial
behavior are stronger among adolescents who have delinquent peers). Some adolescents
have inherited a genetic profile that makes them more sensitive to their environment—for
better or for worse.
C. Differential Susceptibility to the Environment: A vulnerability called a diathesis makes some people more likely to develop depression or other problems than others in the same
circumstances. Many but not all diatheses are genetic. The diathesis itself does not
guarantee the presence of depression. Instead, there must also be environmental triggers.
Most experts now understand depression as an example of the diathesis-stress model.
This means that there must be a predisposition and an environmental trigger for
depression to happen. Not all people who inherit a predisposition to a mental disorder
become mentally ill, just as not all children of alcoholics become alcoholics. According
to differential susceptibility theory, the same genetic factors that make some people more
susceptible to stress and other toxic environmental influences also make them more easily
influenced by positive contexts.
D. Why Are Siblings Often So Different? Research suggests that adolescents are quite dissimilar from their brothers and sisters, despite the strong genetic and environmental
influences they share. Siblings often differ from each other because they experience the
family (e.g., interactions with mom or dad) and their environment (e.g., school, friends,
neighborhood) differently. Sometimes younger siblings grow up in very different
economic circumstances than older ones. In addition, parents often treat siblings
differently. In fact, having parents treat siblings differently, so long as each sibling is
treated well, makes siblings feel more unique and thus lessens sibling rivalry. When
siblings feel they are too alike, they sometimes deliberately try to be different from one
another. In addition to having different experiences inside the family, siblings may have
very different experiences at school and with friends.
V. THE ADOLESCENT’S FAMILY IN A CHANGING SOCIETY
A. The family has undergone a series of profound changes during the past half century, and questions as to whether these changes have harmed adolescents have been the center of
much debate. Four important topics that impact adolescents in American families are
divorce, single-parent households, remarriage, and poverty.
B. Divorce: In the United States, the divorce rate peaked in 1980 and has fallen since. However, more couples are cohabitating now, and when those couples split up, it is not
considered divorce. Divorce has become far less common among college graduates.
C. Single Parenthood: Today, 60 percent of children are born outside of marriage. However, many adolescents who are classified as living in a single-parent household live with a
parent’s partner in addition to the parent. Black adolescents are far more likely to be born
to a single parent and to experience a parent’s divorce, but they are far less likely to
experience their parents’ remarriage.
D. Remarriage: Most youngsters whose parents separate live in a stepfamily at some time. The majority of youth whose parents remarry will experience a second divorce.
E. Poverty: About 20 percent of all U.S. adolescents live in abject poverty, and another 20 percent grow up in low-income homes. Because non-White children are more likely to be
raised in single-parent homes, they are more likely to be poor. However, because the
conditions under which divorce, single parenthood, and remarriage take place vary so
much, it is hard to generalize about their effects.
F. Adolescents and Divorce: Although adolescents from divorced homes tend to have more developmental difficulties than adolescents from nondivorced homes, the explanation for
this difference is far more complicated than the conventional wisdom that “Two parents
are better than one” or “All children need a mother and a father.”
G. The Effect of Divorce Is Small in Magnitude: Divorce diminishes youngsters’ well-being, but the impact of divorce is small.
H. Quality Matters: The quality of relationships a young person has with important adults matters more than the number of parents present in the home. Adolescents in two-parent
households do not always have warm, close relationships with their parents.
I. Adaptation to Divorce: The process of going through a divorce, not the resulting family structure, matters most for adolescents’ mental health. Within about 2 years, most young
people of divorced parents have adjusted to the change and behave similarly to teens
whose biological parents stayed married.
J. Conflict and Stress: Research has linked the negative consequences of divorce to exposure of children to marital conflict, disorganized or disrupted parenting, and
increased stress (often due to loss of income). These factors harm youngsters regardless
of whether both parents are present or whether the parents stay together or split up. The
most important pathway through which divorce may adversely affect adolescent
adjustment is via its direct and indirect impact on the quality of parenting to which the
child is exposed.
K. Genetic Influences: One reason that adolescents from divorced homes have more problems than their peers may be that they have inherited from their parents some of the
same traits that influenced their parents’ decision to get divorced in the first place.
L. Individual Differences in the Effects of Divorce: Research on divorce indicates that the period of greatest difficulty is the time immediately following the event. Immediate
problems are relatively more common among boys, younger children, children with
difficult temperaments, children who do not have supportive relationships with adults
outside the family, and youth whose parents divorce during the transition into
adolescence (as opposed to before or after this transition). As early adolescence may be a
particularly vulnerable and sensitive period, parental divorce at this time may have a
stronger impact. Contact with extended family members has been found to be an
important buffer for Black children growing up in single-parent homes.
M. The Specific Impact of Marital Conflict: Overt, hostile, physically violent, or frightening marital conflict has been linked to a wide range of adolescent problems including
aggression, delinquency, and other types of behavioral problems. Self-blame, insecurity,
anxiety, and depression also may result from exposure to marital conflict. Importantly,
marital conflict that disrupts the quality of the parent–child relationship seems to cause
the most problems for the adolescent. Parents also differ in how much they disclose about
their divorce to their adolescents. Adolescents fare worse when they are drawn into their
divorced parents’ conflict. Specifically, when mothers complain about their ex-husbands
or discuss financial concerns, adolescents report more psychological distress (e.g.,
anxiety, depression, tension, psychosomatic complaints).
N. The Longer-Term Effects of Divorce: Preadolescents whose parents divorce often show adjustment difficulties later, even after 2 or 3 years. Some research shows that children of
divorce have adjustment problems well into their 30s. Parental remarriage does not
improve these effects.
O. Sleeper Effects: Although most adolescents ultimately adapt to parental divorce, new research indicates that certain adjustment or behavior problems may appear or reappear in
adolescence (referred to as “sleeper effects”). These late manifestations of divorce might
be due to poor parental monitoring in divorced households, or it may have to do with how
a divorce shaped an adolescent’s concept of relationships and romantic commitment.
P. Custody, Contact, and Conflict Following Divorce: Healthy adjustment following the parents’ divorce is influenced more by the nature of the relationship between the divorced
parents than by adolescents’ place of residence. Although contact with the noncustodial
parent (usually the father) declines rapidly after the parent moves out, research is
inconclusive regarding the consequences of this decrease in contact. While there is some
disagreement in the field, in general, adolescents (both sons and daughters) who have
regular postdivorce contact with their fathers have fewer problems (although some
research suggests that healthy, well-adjusted adolescents may encourage more father
involvement). Research has consistently indicated, however, that financial support from
fathers is associated with less problem behavior and higher academic achievement.
Ultimately, it is the level of conflict between the divorced parents that determines the
consequences for the adolescent.
Q. Remarriage: Because adolescents’ mental health suffers somewhat each time their family situation changes, young people growing up in stepfamilies may be at even greater risk
than their peers in single-parent, divorced homes. In general, girls show more difficulty in
adjusting to remarriage than boys do, and older children have more difficulty than
younger children. Research has aimed at a better characterization of the special problems
that arise in the course of family organization. Establishing a new equilibrium within the
family after remarriage can be fraught with problems and pitfalls, especially if the
adolescent is vulnerable from previous events.
R. Difficulties Adjusting to Parental Remarriage: Adolescents and new stepparents often find the transition to a new family very difficult. One factor that seems to make a
difference in adolescents’ adjustment to remarriage is the quality of the relationship they
maintain with the noncustodial biological parent. Additionally, studies find that
adolescents who feel close to both their father and stepfather have better outcomes than
those who are close to one but not the other.
S. Economic Stress and Poverty: Studies of family income loss and adolescent adjustment suggest many parallels with research on divorce and remarriage.
T. The Effects of Financial Strain: Adolescents whose families have suffered severe economic losses, or who live in chronic poverty, are at heightened risk of psychological
difficulties and problem behavior. Research on economic strain and its impact on the
adolescent indicates that the main effects of financial stress are transmitted to the
adolescent through the negative impact they have on parents’ mental health and marital
relations. Parents under financial strain or persistent poverty are harsher, more
inconsistent, less vigilant, more enmeshed in conflict, and less involved as parents,
which, in turn, lead to emotional, behavioral, and adjustment problems for their children.
U. The Impact of Chronic Poverty: Poor children are more likely to be exposed to violence, feel alienated from school, and have higher overall stress levels, all of which can
contribute to mental health problems. Research indicates that families in poor
neighborhoods who have adequate sources of social support and/or strong ties to religious
institutions fare better than families who do not have access to these resources.
V. Homeless Adolescents: On any given night, 1.3 million adolescents are living on the street. Teenagers are more likely to be homeless than any other group. The population of
runaway youth is 75 percent female and as much as 40 percent LGBTQ. Many homeless
shelters do not accept unaccompanied teenagers. Many homeless teenagers resort to
selling drugs or trading sex for food.
W. Special Family Forms: Many adolescents are reared by adoptive parents, lesbian and gay parents, and foster parents.
X. Adolescents and Adoption: On average, research has revealed that adopted adolescents may experience relatively higher rates of delinquency, substance use, psychological
difficulties, and poorer school performance. However, the magnitude of this difference is
actually quite small when factors such as family resources and feelings about adoption
are taken into account.
Y. Adolescents with Lesbian or Gay Parents: Diversity in family form is also reflected in the number of adolescents who are reared by same-sex parents. Research has consistently
indicated that children and adolescents with lesbian or gay parents are not
psychologically different from children and adolescents with straight parents.
Z. Adolescents in Foster Care: Approximately 175,000 teenagers are in the foster care system (temporary placement when the adolescents’ parents are not able to provide care,
safety, or supervision). Adolescents who have spent time in foster care are at an increased
risk for emotional and behavioral problems, which could be due to the abuse or neglect
that precipitated foster placement, the foster care placement itself, or the fact that many
adolescents in the foster care system are exposed to frequent disruptions in living
arrangements (e.g., back and forth between their parents’ home and a foster care
placement or between different foster care placements).
VI. THE IMPORTANCE OF THE FAMILY IN ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT
Regardless of household composition, parenting style, and income, the most important
protective factor for adolescents is a feeling of connectedness with parents and family.
Although every culture has a unique way of expressing it, adolescents whose
relationships with their parents are characterized by love and commitment are healthier,
happier, and more competent than their peers who lack family support.